Former University of Iowa hospital employee used fake identity for 35 years

https://www.thegazette.com/crime-courts/former-university-of-iowa-hospital-employee-used-fake-identity-for-35-years/

368 325 2 years ago

Because Woods continued to insist, throughout the judicial process, that he was William Woods and not Matthew Kierans, a judge ruled in February 2020 that he was not mentally competent to stand trial and he was sent to a mental hospital in California, where he received psychotropic medication and other mental health treatment.

That's the stuff of nightmares. I hope the real Woods sues the system that put him through this.

Ekaros6• 2 years ago

Sadly the system never gets punished. I think these judges and prosecutors would do much better if there was ever present risk of either life in prison or even death penalty.

BartjeD• 2 years ago

Do you think you yourself would do better?

Are crime rates significantly lower in US States that have the death penalty? Are crime rates lower in States that punish more severely compared to States that punish less severely?

The state of art in preventing crime is to focus on rehabilation and education, not punishment. So it would be novel if the statistics prove that punishment works better.

fwipsy4• 2 years ago

Nobody would take that job. If they did they would be hyper-cautious and never prosecute or sentence anyone. Better to just abolish the judicial system. Maybe you disagree, but I think that would be worse than the status quo.

There's always room to improve the system, but the way to do that is to make it resilient to individual failures, not by placing more pressure on the individual not to make mistakes.

szundi• 2 years ago

GPT-6 is up to the task! No bad ruling just before lunch! Also it’ll be just as secure as the Diebold voting machines! /s

capybara_2020• 2 years ago

I am curious, what could have been done differently?

This started more than 30 years ago. The internet as we thinking about it did not exist. Computers were just going around. Most it was physical copies which could not be centralized/shared at scale till the internet came around.

I am just trying to think about what kind of system would account for all the changes that have happened and prevented this while also accounting for the reverse where the real person suddenly had someone trying to steal their identity also accounting for the fact this system has to be valid for the future. Maybe it is a failure of my imagination, but I can only think of ways to do it for the current state of the world, assuming the world never changes.

perihelions2• 2 years ago

Take a glance at US news today. US politics would be far more likely to punish judges for a Type II error—for failing to convict or institutionalize a person who goes on to commit a crime—than for the Type I error of violating the rights of an innocent person. The system you've proposed, if you step back from the heated emotions for a moment, would the exact opposite effect of the righteous justice you seek.

Any system you'd build in this mold, the criminal justice mold, would be the same or a clone of the current one, inheriting the same flaws. The prosecuting agency would be lenient towards Type I errors, because few people care; and I think in the net it'd increase their occurrence, by severely penalizing Type II errors.

edit: (And to the point out the obvious in plain sight—look at the very newspaper story we're discussing. The "criminal that got away with it" is in the headline/title. The "innocent person horribly abused by indifferent criminal justice" is mentioned in passing about 21 paragraphs down).

euroderf• 2 years ago

Prosecutors get away with murder. Literally. Suggesting that reining in prosecutorial immunity would create overly timid prosecutors is a false choice.

Lanolderen• 2 years ago

If I had life in prison or a death penalty hanging over my head at work after getting all the prerequisites to be a judge I better be getting paid seven figures or I'm either becoming a scrum master or a defence attorney trying to abuse the guillotine to ensure client satisfaction.

RecycledEle5• 2 years ago

Sadly the system never gets punished. I think these judges and prosecutors would do much better if there was ever present risk of either life in prison or even death penalty.

The first step is transparency. Put every bit of evidence for every case on the public record so everyone can see it online.

Sadly, The System will not allow that. Truth is the enemy of The System.

cqqxo4zV46cp2• 2 years ago

My (non-American) reaction to this was immediately “that’s so American”. It’s just absurd. I would not put the actual thief at the top of the list if who’s to blame there. That is clearly a cultural / systems issue, through and through.

ipsum2• 2 years ago

Where do you live where these things don't happen?

lobocinza2• 2 years ago

Do you think that is absurd? Never visit Brazil.

ChrisMarshallNY3• 2 years ago

From what I read (in the Ars Technica story on this), the real Woods seems to be in fairly bad shape. At least homeless, maybe mentally challenged. It seems that may have happened, even if his identity had not been stolen, but I am not aware enough of the story's details, to render any kind of semi-authoritative judgment.

It's highly likely that at least one lawyer is already salivating over this, and will help him to sue, but I’m not confident that the real Woods will benefit.

This was a nightmare story, and I would hope that the fake Woods gets real jail time.

shultays• 2 years ago

I was wondering how there were no family members, old friends etc that could prove his word but that explains it. Quite sad, but also maybe a mental hospital is better than being homeless

tristor• 2 years ago

From what I read (in the Ars Technica story on this), the real Woods seems to be in fairly bad shape. At least homeless, maybe mentally challenged. It seems that may have happened, even if his identity had not been stolen, but I am not aware enough of the story's details, to render any kind of semi-authoritative judgment.

It sounds like he wasn't homeless and mentally challenged when he originally met Keirans many years prior. Perhaps it was the string of false warrants, debt, and other criminal use of his identity that caused him to become homeless and mentally challenged. It's very hard to get and maintain employment when you show up with outstanding felony warrants and poor credit during a background check or records search.

koolba• 2 years ago

That's the stuff of nightmares. I hope the real Woods sues the system that put him through this.

On the positive side, if he was using his social security number for 35 years, he’ll be fully paid up for the real Woods to draw at retirement.

Vaslo• 2 years ago

Really good point here - couldnt the fake woods claim he was indeed the one paying into it, and claim it after he’s released from jail?

If the court has any credibility, they should first jail the fake one for a long time, then make things like his ss payments restitution for the real woods.

lupusreal2• 2 years ago

Forcibly medicating a man for insisting on his innocence, even if his guilt seems certain, is another nightmarish aspect of this situation. By all means imprison the guy, but forcing him onto mind altering drugs because he refuses to admit his guilt is over the line.

op00to• 2 years ago

The real woods should reap all the benefits of the false woods’ misdeeds with none of the consequences. Get his house, car, job, even wife!

Cthulhu_• 2 years ago

"I'm not crazy!" "That's what a crazy person would say!"

Honestly once you're at the whims of an overzealous psychologist you're boned. Potentially. I hope the real Woods gets to sue everyone involved in declaring him mentally incompetent, that declaration took away his rights as a human being.

ceejayoz2• 2 years ago

Reminds me of a case where someone got put in a mental hospital for eight days because they wouldn't admit Obama didn't follow them on Twitter.

(He did. He follows me, too; it was back in the days of auto-follow-back scripts.)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/03/24/th...

carbocation• 2 years ago

None of the petty crimes he was wanted for seemed worth the effort he put into maintaining the false identity. It makes me wonder whether there is more to uncover.

nytesky3• 2 years ago

Agreed. He must have done something terrible and was running from it.

croes4• 2 years ago

Maybe just the crime of the identity theft itself.

Preventing 30 years of jail time is a big motivation.

Ballas• 2 years ago

Probably just unfortunate timing when he met his wife, and then had to keep using the name for fear of losing his wife/girlfriend?

csomar2• 2 years ago

He is already in too deep with this. He already has a family, job and probably a mortgage. A full situation in which everyone think he is "Woods".

P_I_Staker• 2 years ago

You might be shocked how quickly it becomes "I'm an outlaw that can't exist normally in society"

It doesn't seem that way to you, but it's shocking the jobs that will be choosy. Things are a bit different now, changing culture, labor shortages, etc.

However especially ~1990s-2010ish, the mindset was "as long as there are people out there without issues, we will hire from that pool of candidates". So practically having more than a parking ticket could result in mass rejection from jobs. Sorry, but we have 20 candidates with NO parking tickets, so get lost.

livinginfear• 2 years ago

I think I'm missing something here. What did he have to gain from doing this? I understand that he was able to incur large amounts of debt under someone else's identity, but at that point he effectively was Woods. He was married under that name, he was employed under that name... If the authorities ever came looking for the Woods that incurred all the debt, it would be him that paid.

AlgoRitmo• 2 years ago

He probably couldn’t get a real job with his true identity.

pbj19682• 2 years ago

I worked with a guy that had falsified some records to hide some misdeeds in his younger years. He made it 19 years before something unrelated forced us to do thorough background checks on our employees. He was escorted off the premises by police and his benefits voided by HR.

All I’m saying is… at some point you got away with it. We did him dirty.

bombcar• 2 years ago

At some point there should be squatters rights to an identity.

mlyle3• 2 years ago

What about the "true owner" of the identity, if there is one? In the article's case, there was a guy who was imprisoned for a couple of years and forcibly medicated because his identity was stolen.

ars3• 2 years ago

I would be much more OK with what he did (at some point the stolen identity IS his identity), but not when there's a living person who also has that identity!!

wbl• 2 years ago

You can start going by another name. Nobody side eyes Bob for not going by Robert. What makes this different is the fraud.

btilly2• 2 years ago

If the identity is unused, sure.

But if you've been destroying someone else's life, as here, absolutely not.

qingcharles6• 2 years ago

It's problematic. I have a friend who is a parolee. He had trouble getting parole. It was only once he was out and parole officers kept looking at him funny and whispering about him having a fucked-up record that we looked into it and found someone else had used his identity while he was in prison and committed a dozen really heinous crimes which all got added to my friend's record somehow.

mikrotikker2• 2 years ago

As long as they get some squatters lefts too.

AnarchismIsCool4• 2 years ago

I know there are plenty of hyper puritanical people who would disagree with me, but I feel like people really embody the ship of theseus paradox. We're just not the same person we were decades ago. I really don't care if you were running around dealing drugs, robbing banks, stealing cars or whatever two decades ago. If I found out one of my coworkers was a career bank robber I'd just want to get a beer and hear the crazy stories.

ars3• 2 years ago

It's the age old debate: Do people change?

I think that most people do not.

Teenagers get calmer when they get older, so I can accept ignoring minor misdeeds that can be attributed to not thinking, but not anything more serious.

You seem to think that people do change, and maybe some do, but I think that's a rarity. Anyway that's the crux of your message: Do people change or not?

kelnos2• 2 years ago

I dunno, I guess maybe we'd just disagree on where the line is drawn. Murder? Rape? Something of that caliber? Nah, I'm not just gonna assume or trust that the person has changed, even if it'd been 20 years or whatever.

Bank robbery? Well, I dunno. Armed robbery? Did anyone get hurt? Maybe that's not ok, no matter how much time has passed.

But yeah... drugs, whatever. Super petty crimes where there wasn't any violence or physical threats involved? Yeah, maybe no big deal if enough time has passed with the person leaving that kind of life behind.

But even then, it's hard to say. In this article, it seems like the faker didn't do anything that bad before stealing this other guy's identity. Like, the kind of stuff where, 20 years later, we'd probably just shrug and be like "yeah that guy's got some stories". But he ruined another man's life, causing a situation that led him to become committed to a mental hospital merely for claiming that someone else had stolen his identity. (Sure, the judge in the case almost certainly acted improperly, but that's not really the point.) I don't think that's something you just sweep under the rug, even in another 20 years.

brailsafe• 2 years ago

Absolutely agreed, but I'd go further and say you shouldn't have to hang onto everything you've ever done and get a few chances to reset in non-criminal situations too. I handled some previous relationships like shit in my early twenties, and upon years of reflection have formed what I'd consider a completely different sense of who I am and how I treat people; me at 23 is not me at 32, but it scares me a bit that my apparent integrity would be called into question should I have to dig into it, despite authentically having no part of me that could see life from those eyes again

triyambakam• 2 years ago

What if they raped children or murdered people? How far does it go?

I can forgive but it also is wise to keep distance relative to the severity of the aberration.

takinola2• 2 years ago

Legally, the statute of limitations addresses this very problem. You aren’t going to be dragged off to jail in your forties for some shoplifting you did in your twenties.

Socially, we probably should adopt something similar. Depending on the crime (non-violent, low cost to society, one time), we should all pretty much pretend it didn’t happen after about 5 - 10 years.

wpietri6• 2 years ago

On the one hand, sure. When I started reading this new story, I was like, "If the guy has lived that long under a name, it's kinda his name now, right?"

But then I read how thoroughly he fucked over the guy whose name he stole in 2019, or 30 years after he started using the name. So some people may not be the same 20 years later. But some of them sure the hell are.

qingcharles6• 2 years ago

I was just recently given 24 hours to pack whatever I could carry and leave my home after the landlord's daughter found out my real government name which I rarely use and found a newspaper article about where I was arrested on false charges 11 years ago. (I spent 10 years in jail awaiting trial and then the charges were dropped) Most of the newspapers completely removed all mentions of the case, bless them, but it's the Internet -- removing something from the Internet is like trying to take the pee out of a swimming pool.

After asking how I was going to manage on the streets, homeless (it was -30*C at the time), he did come to his senses somewhat and get me a couple of week's grace which let me find somewhere else to stay.

urban_winter• 2 years ago

If I found out one of my coworkers was a career bank robber I'd just want to get a beer and hear the crazy stories.

Would you want to hear the crazy stories of a two decades ago child murderer too?

I didn't think so.

AlexanderTheGr8• 2 years ago

I really don't care if you were running around dealing drugs, robbing banks, stealing cars or whatever two decades ago. If I found out one of my coworkers was a career bank robber I'd just want to get a beer and hear the crazy stories.

I am glad you are trying to put skin in the game. But your examples are all non-sentimental. Let's pick a different one. If that guy used to touch children in public swimming pools (not rape) decades ago, would you let him babysit your child? Or what if that guy just used to flash himself to children?

I agree that people change. And I am willing to take the risk of working / hanging out with someone who has dealt drugs or stolen cars or even robbed banks. That's bec no one was hurt (at least intentionally) during these activities. But what if he intentionally hurt someone? Would you feel comfortable with that person roaming in the streets where their next target could be you or your family?

C6JEsQeQa5fCjE• 2 years ago

I know there are plenty of hyper puritanical people who would disagree with me [...] If I found out one of my coworkers was a career bank robber I'd just want to get a beer and hear the crazy stories.

Absolutes do not work and details matter. Maybe you just do not find the crimes you mentioned particularly disturbing. Now imagine that the coworker has comitted some crime that you personally are terrified of or disgusted by. Would you still just go get a beer and hang out? Would you trust the person around people you love or care about? Would you trust the person around potentially vulnerable people at your workplace?

soerxpso• 2 years ago

While I agree, the negative effect with letting it slide after X years would be that you're removing a lot of downside from the risk-benefit analysis of every prospective criminal. Fraud is already pretty easy to get away with. If there were a rule that all you have to do to face no consequences is get away with it for a certain amount of time, more people would do it.

lobocinza2• 2 years ago

Maybe but people carry the same DNA for their whole life. And it's common to see people doing the same mistakes over and over again, the same mistakes their parents did and that their children will do.

alexey-salmin• 2 years ago

Why were his benefits voided after 19 years of work? What does it have to do with identity?

fbdab1032• 2 years ago

How much leeway does HR have to yank earned benefits? After two decades of doing the work, seems like they are entitled.

If someone lied about getting a degree, would HR pull the 401k after a 20 year career? Faked a few certifications? Any lie is enough?

nytesky3• 2 years ago

Woods was an employee at a hot dog stand, why did he steal his identity?

beepboopboop• 2 years ago

Probably a clean record

nytesky3• 2 years ago

Suddenly, the government having my DNA record seems less terrible. I’m only half kidding…

jj999• 2 years ago

So you trust the database to be exact?

bartonfink2• 2 years ago

Classic case of letting perfect be the enemy of good. Try harder next time, jj999.

DNA would be significantly harder to fake over 35 years when you're still walking around with your own DNA. Is it perfect? No, but it's a lot more trustworthy in this case than an SSN or driver's license were.

benrapscallion• 2 years ago

Dupe: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39924309

neilv• 2 years ago

Which is a dupe of: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39919646

wolverine876• 2 years ago

What happened to Woods since it was uncovered? The story doesn't tell us. It showed great courage to keep fighting, even when effectively powerless.

AnarchismIsCool4• 2 years ago

Can I just point out the hilarious disparity of punishment in this statement:

Matthew David Keirans, 58, was convicted of one count of false statement to a National Credit Union Administration insured institution — punishable by up to 30 years in federal prison — and one count of aggravated identity theft — punishable by up to two years in federal prison.

Hnrobert42• 2 years ago

I suppose the disparity is as a result in the difference of aggrieved party. Steal from a bank, off with your head. Steal from a person. Meh.

givemeethekeys5• 2 years ago

You’re allowed to scam whomever you want except for the wealthy or connected.

elteto3• 2 years ago

He was indicted Dec. 12, on five counts of false statement to a National Credit Union Administration insured institution and two counts of aggravated identity theft.

It's actually 6 years max per false statement charge, so in total 30 years.

ahepp• 2 years ago

I don't believe that's correct?

https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/1006

I believe this may be the same law referred to as "the headshot" in HBO's The Wire?

The creator of the show discusses it further online:

https://davidsimon.com/kwame-brown-another-federal-case-anot...

lolinder3• 2 years ago

Literally the next sentence after what you quoted:

He pleaded guilty Monday to one count of each charge, and the other counts were dropped.

He was indicted for five counts and two, but that just means that's what the prosecution was going to try to get him for. He pled guilty to one of each, presumably to avoid an even harsher possible sentence.

n2d42• 2 years ago

That's because "aggravated identity theft" can never be the only crime you are convicted for. It is always dependent on another felony. The identity theft just adds two years on-top of whatever the other crime would've gotten you.

Here, of course the two extra years don't matter, but if you commit identity theft to steal your grandma's candies, I don't think you should be getting 30 years in prison.

Relevant: https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/1028A

Anotheroneagain2• 2 years ago

I suppose it may have something to do with the guy becoming homeless, and they don't want to show the whole extent of the horrors that they made real guy go through.

achow• 2 years ago

University of Iowa Police Detective Ian Mallory.. tested the father’s DNA against Woods’ DNA. The test proved Woods was the man’s son.

Such an obvious thing to do.

Why it had to reach to University police for this to be initiated, why LA police did not do this at the start? Why the judge who sent the real Woods to mental hospital asked this to be done before giving that 'judgement'?

profsummergig• 2 years ago

How did they have such easy access to the father's DNA?

ChrisClark• 2 years ago

They asked the father for it.

wil421• 2 years ago

A private detective acquired it. Most likely he rummaged through some trash.

matthewaveryusa• 2 years ago

My guess is LAPD deals with drugged up violent stupid crime every day and some nut job homeless guy making crazy claims 99.99% of the time is just crazy, so why bother? On the other hand it's an interesting case for a Uni Iowa PD detective that has to deal with underage college kids buying beer?

octodog2• 2 years ago

Well, yes. Bias and laziness. Not behaviours that are acceptable in the justice system.

thaumasiotes4• 2 years ago

My guess is LAPD deals with drugged up violent stupid crime every day and some nut job homeless guy making crazy claims 99.99% of the time is just crazy, so why bother?

No, something more than that went wrong. From the article:

> The real Woods was arrested and charged with identity theft and false impersonation, under a misspelling of Keirans’ name: Matthew Kierans.

I would bet that Woods did not supply that name to the authorities. (How would he have known it?) It had to have come from Keirans. But that changes the story from "some nut job homeless guy making crazy claims" to "a dispute between two people who know each other".

FrustratedMonky• 2 years ago

Doesn't this happen on the boarder from time to time?

A US Citizen will be deported to Mexico because they didn't happen to have an ID and the agent just thought he was in the 99.9% of people claiming they are citizens? Then they get stuck in the system and it takes a lot to get back into the country and prove who they are.

joh6nn3• 2 years ago

Ok, but probability doesn't work like that. Even if 99.99% of the time a given individual is delusional, you still have to check every time because this person might be the 0.01%. It's like the question of "you flip a coin 9 times in a row, and it has come up heads all 9 times. If you flip the coin a 10th time, how likely is it to be heads?"

Also, and perhaps even more importantly, if you aren't actually checking every time, then you don't actually know what the statistics for delusional vs not are, you're just guessing.

kamray23• 2 years ago

Yeah, I would guess Iowa is quieter. LAPD is one of those archetypal failing police organizations, with so much on their plate even their own officers form organized criminal gangs. No wonder they don't have time for some poor mental hospital hobo's insistence that his identity was stolen 30+ years ago and that people are pretending to be him, especially after he was already convicted for identity theft. But that's also a systematic failure, and it shouldn't be happening. No police organisation anywhere in the world in that bad of a shape shouldn't undergo basically complete restructuring and reconsideration of duties. No court should have ever let that first ruling pass. Such a simple thing as a paternity test to discover who is clearly in the right should have been the obvious thing to do right away, instead of brushing people away. Even in the first court case, honestly.

yieldcrv2• 2 years ago

homeless with no money and no representation gets you these results

really embarrassing for the California system, I want to know if there is any path for correcting this given the Iowa judgement and the Federal judgement

michaelt2• 2 years ago

Theoretically, I believe (in addition to the police's duty to get the right guy) the accused is supposed to have a defence attorney who goes looking for exculpatory evidence.

AIUI America has an "adversarial" legal system, where the court is not involved in investigating the facts of the case. Instead, the defence and prosecution each make the strongest possible case and the judge and jury have to make their decision based on the evidence presented to them. For example the judge and jury don't get to question witnesses directly.

In contrast, Germany has an "inquisitorial" justice system, where the judges are actively involved in investigating the facts of the case and get to question witnesses and suchlike.

ngcc_hk3• 2 years ago

May be it is good. But sound bad. Got a lot of these in Hong Kong and you wonder, can the judge be biased in these.

RecycledEle5• 2 years ago

There are rarely any real tests performed.

There was a story on HN recently about a scumbag attorney who would think his client was lying then would prevent the evidence from being tested

There can be no due process until every piece of evidence is documented publicly, tested, and the test results are posted publicly.

I have had cops claim they needed a DNA sample from me, then they went to their car and said maybe 3 words to another cop there before coming back and reporting DNA test results that were obviously made up.

Until it is a felony for anyone associated with The System to lie or to fail to perform all forensic tests, we will have corruption without end.

crossroadsguy• 2 years ago

Because when it's a legal system and not a justice system, the motivations and goals are different. It's solving the case vs closing the case.

Like in the IT - how many bugs fixed vs how many bugs closed ;-)

nisse72• 2 years ago

Along the same lines, if the father was still alive, could he not vouch for his son at some point?

siva7• 2 years ago

In 1994 — six years after he started using Woods’ name — Keirans got married. He had a child, whose last name is Woods.

I wonder what goes around in the mind of the SO to accept that he couldn’t have shown anything from his past live.

kelnos2• 2 years ago

That was a pretty wild story, but honestly what disturbed me the most was right near the beginning:

one count of false statement to a National Credit Union Administration insured institution — punishable by up to 30 years in federal prison — and one count of aggravated identity theft — punishable by up to two years in federal prison.

So you get 30 years for lying to a bank, but only two years for stealing someone's identity for decades, resulting in the real person being involuntarily committed to a mental institution just for insisting they are who they actually are?

It should be the other way around. Two years for the lie, 30 years for the identity theft.

bdowling2• 2 years ago

It wasn’t just any bank, it was a bank insured by the U.S. government. The U.S. government does not take being lied to lightly.

By the way, anyone who has applied for a mortgage in the U.S. has seen many, many warnings about how lying on a mortgage application is a federal crime that carries very serious penalties.

yieldcrv2• 2 years ago

you have it backwards, this is just how the federal government establishes jurisdiction over things it can otherwise not constitutionally regulate, but wishes to.

if you can't think of which specific clause of the constitution allows for that law, it is either comes from financial rails that the federal government extended outwards, or interstate commerce.

n2d42• 2 years ago

Here, of course the two extra years don't matter, but if you commit identity theft to steal your grandma's candies, I don't think you should be getting 30 years in prison.

Relevant: https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/1028A

elteto3• 2 years ago

He was indicted Dec. 12, on five counts of false statement to a National Credit Union Administration insured institution and two counts of aggravated identity theft.

5 charges for a total of 30 years, so 6 years max per charge. Much more reasonable than 30 for a single one.

lolinder3• 2 years ago

Did you not read the very next sentence?

He pleaded guilty Monday to one count of each charge, and the other counts were dropped.

The max sentences in the lede are explicitly identified as being for one count of each, and that's all he was convicted of.

sverhagen• 2 years ago

What strikes me here is that they get thirty years for this at all. What he did was absolutely horrible, but a thirty year sentence seems excessive. That's, as I understand it, more than other countries give you for murder. This was a non-violent (albeit terrible) crime.

givemeethekeys5• 2 years ago

Reminds me of the MIT dean that lied about her credentials and kept her job for years.

hilux3• 2 years ago

Marilee Jones, MIT Dean of Admissions, worked there for years before she was found out. When her lack of any(!) degree was uncovered, she had to resign.

givemeethekeys5• 2 years ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilee_Jones

19 years at the helm. She worked hard to keep a system that works hard to keep people like her out. She's a hypocrite and they would have looked like hypocrites too, had they let her keep her job.

We should celebrate Marilee Jones every year - perhaps on the first day of school in homage to anyone who has truly faked it till they made it!

avar2• 2 years ago

    > When her lack of any(!) degree
    > was uncovered, she had to
    > resign.

Maybe you should fire someone with a history of flagrantly lying, but shouldn't that make MIT consider dropping its degree requirement for that job? Clearly it's not necessary.

jeffbee• 2 years ago

Which of these guys gets the social security benefits?

ChrisArchitect• 2 years ago

[dupe]

Some more discussion: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39919646

croes4• 2 years ago

causing the other man to be falsely imprisoned for identity theft and sent to a mental hospital.

To me that is the bigger crime. How comes the government can't recognize who is the real Woods and imprisons the wrong person?

drjasonharrison• 2 years ago

Because birth certificates don't have DNA. Social security numbers were never meant to be used for identification. Etc.

croes4• 2 years ago

But before you send someone to prison you should be sure you investigated properly.

Did they question any relatives of him?

toomuchtodo• 2 years ago

This is one of those edge cases where DNA databases are invaluable, as they do not lie (retests can be done if an error is suspected) and the data (genetic provenance) cannot be destroyed (such that a vital record or entire archive could be). You can “walk” the vital record web/matrix from known good identity to unknown identity.

Vital records should probably have DNA attached. Maybe eventually they will.

ktosobcy2• 2 years ago

Would proper IDs helped avoid the issue? Not necesarily state-of-the-art biometric ones that we have already (on this side of the pond) but even rudimentary with owner photo, personal ID and document ID?

janmo• 2 years ago

The real Woods was a homeless, while the fake woods had a job and family. The police and justice system are very biased, it is a well known fact.

Seattle3503• 2 years ago

University of Iowa Police Detective Ian Mallory opened an investigation into the case. Mallory found the biological father listed on Woods’ birth certificate — which both Woods and Keirans had sent him an official copy of — and tested the father’s DNA against Woods’ DNA. The test proved Woods was the man’s son.

Detective Mallory is the hero of this story. He believed a man who few people would at that point.

lolinder3• 2 years ago

What's horrifying to me is that the real Woods should have been appointed a defense attorney, and it seems that that attorney didn't believe him either or even make an effort to act as though they did. It should have been his defense attorney back during the trial who thought to hunt down the father and do a DNA test.

qingcharles6• 2 years ago

I was in jail and regularly saw where people were caught in traffic stops and gave their siblings name. They were allowed to leave, but later an arrest warrant was put out and the sibling was arrested. I was actually in court three times when I saw this come up, so it must happen much more frequently than that.

chii• 2 years ago

gave their siblings name.

so the name doesn't match their driver license? Or they're driving without one? I would imagine a cop just taking the name on face value seems negligent.

fwipsy4• 2 years ago

What makes this story interesting is that he built a more valuable identity than the real William Woods did. This court case destroyed that value, as the hospital likely won't employ either of them, even though presumably Keirans was doing an acceptable job up until now. Perhaps the smart thing for Keirans to do would have been to find Woods and pay him to swap identities. I wonder if anyone's ever pulled that off?

Anotheroneagain2• 2 years ago

I believe you are actually allowed to call yourself whatever you wish in common law countries. There had to be more to that than just using a different name.

mikrotikker2• 2 years ago

Lol he could've just changed his name, and the imposter would have been caught off guard.

nmstoker2• 2 years ago

Yes, this is correct. Provided you are not doing it to deceive it's perfectly legal in the UK - however you can't go changing other details like your date of birth, which Kierans did here. The problem in the UK is many people in places like banks are unaware of this and they obviously cause difficulties for people when the account name and their given name do not match, even when explained (I have a relative with this situation) - it's not often enough to make it impossible merely very inconvenient at times (the relative of mine is in their 80s and been mostly fine since getting an account aa a child)

razakel• 2 years ago

There have been cases where identical twins have impersonated each other.

richrichie• 2 years ago

ABQ! Sounds like a classic Better Call Saul story.

CogitoCogito• 2 years ago

The real Woods was arrested and charged with identity theft and false impersonation, under a misspelling of Keirans’ name: Matthew Kierans.

Are they saying that they thought the real Woods was actually Matthew Keirans? How did they conclude that? The article is full of evidence of how the real Matthew Keirans had been pretending that he’s actually William Woods, but what evidence was there connecting the real William Woods to the name Matthew Keirans? It’s not like the real Woods would have any (fake) documentation attesting to it. Why would there be anything connecting him to the name at all?

I could see them charging him as a John Doe since they don’t know who he is but “know” he’s not William Woods but I don’t understand why they would charge him as Matthew Keirans.

smeej3• 2 years ago

Came here wondering the same thing. It's not like Woods would even had a reason to come up with Keirans' name, so did Keirans provide it when the bank was investigating? Like, "Oh, I'll bet I know who you're talking to. I'll bet it's Matthew Keirans. We've had issues in the past"?

If I were Keirans, I wouldn't even want to bring the Keirans name anywhere near Woods, lest someone realize they were switched. I'd have acted like I had no idea who might be pretending to be me.

So how did Keirans' name end up associated with Wood when he was arrested and charged?

pxmpxm• 2 years ago

I have to wonder if they made an agreement to swap identities, otherwise Woods would have to be to be clairvoyant to know his hot dog stand colleague from 30 years ago is using his ssoc.

pqs• 2 years ago

I think that in Spain, or any other country with a national ID card, this would be mucho more difficult. Police has fingerprints of everyone. In case someone says someone else is using his identity, the police just need to check the fingerprint with the national ID database.

avar2• 2 years ago

Someone steals your identity, and is also committed enough to burn off their fingerprints in a way that looks accidental. What now?

ktosobcy2• 2 years ago

In general IDs also have photos and currently everything is digital/stored so there is a trace of previous documents issued thus apart from burning off fingerprintes a face operation would be needed... or hacking national databases...

verve_rat• 2 years ago

That wouldn't work unless they manage to burn off your finger prints too.

Pikamander2• 2 years ago

You become a Phoenix Wright antagonist.

KomoD• 2 years ago

Well, I can still prove I am the real one? And he can't prove he's me... He didn't burn my fingerprints off.

stef25• 2 years ago

As a European it's baffling to me that this is even possible. Afaik this is close to impossible here. Everyone has a mandatory ID card with a chip on it that's used to identify you. Maybe it sounds dystopian but so is getting drugged up in a mental hospital in a case of mistaken identity ... I mean WTAF. Not that these wild exception should determine the rule either.

tyingq• 2 years ago

I suspect the US system where each of the 50 US states have their own rules for birth certificates, id cards, etc, is the big reason.

So, for example, you can craft fake id for one state...and it doesn't have to be good enough to fool anyone in that state. Just good enough to fool any one of the other 49. Which you then can bootstrap into a "real id" from that second state.

Especially given this happened decades ago. It has become much harder over time.

sva_2• 2 years ago

Everyone has a mandatory ID card with a chip on it that's used to identify you.

Or you just get rid of your documents, claim to be a refugee, and just fabricate all the data.

Macha• 2 years ago

Everyone has a mandatory ID card with a chip on it that's used to identify you.

Only in some European countries

mixmastamyk• 2 years ago

Oh, a chip. Must be foolproof, right? ;-)

tim333• 2 years ago

In the UK we don't have mandatory ID and also seem to manage to not bang people up like that.

smeej3• 2 years ago

I like to think my commitment to the truth is high enough to do what Woods did and stand up for my identity, but honestly after getting out of jail and a mental institution for insisting I was Woods, I might just accept being Keirans from now on. How could it be worse than risking being sent back?

cbsmith2• 2 years ago

You'd be Kierans. ;-)

That was such an ironic twist to the story.

smeej3• 2 years ago

Would I, though? If I was convicted as Keirans, I should probably be able to make a stronger case for that spelling than the other!

cynicalsecurity• 2 years ago

But why? What was the point?

nvr219• 2 years ago

They should hire him to be the new Mossad guy

kazinator• 2 years ago

The strange thing is that Kierans used Woods' identity since 1988, but somehow didn't cause Woods enough trouble to the point of getting him arrested until thirty years later. The situation took curiously long to come to a head.

omneity• 2 years ago

This happens to be the plot of a famous french comedy show in the 2000’s. Not sure if I should spoil as it’s literally the very last revelation in the series.

mcswell• 2 years ago

His real name was Dr. Richard Kimble.

ngcc_hk3• 2 years ago

Interesting story but cannot pass the first page.

jeanlou• 2 years ago

What a hell it must have been for Mr Wood

Former University of Iowa hospital employee used fake identity for 35 years

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