The craziest date ever

http://www.salon.com/2013/11/12/the_craziest_okcupid_date_ever/?new

by architgupta • 13 years ago

224 126 13 years ago

vittore3• 13 years ago

I don't remember original saying but it was something like - "You have as much freedom, as far you can go with weekender bag". This guys are absolutely free, love it.

300bps• 13 years ago

There's no story in this article. It is just a chronology of events designed to show off their hipster muscles.

Kequc2• 13 years ago

I wonder if in 30 years people will be showing off their photo albums to which their kids will wonder why aside from the images not being 3d. That the photos have had detail purposely brushed out by means of superficial Instagram filters.

judk• 13 years ago

That's not what instagram does. Instagram replaces noise and poor color with an artsy layer. The missing detail was never there (or if it was, t was ugly detail like harsh shadows and pimples)

Shots with good cameras and lighting and faces don't get instagrammed.

_mulder_• 13 years ago

You're right. I did find it interesting to contemplate though, and has encouraged me to reconsider my requirements next time I travel, or just in life.

sergiotapia• 13 years ago

I can almost hear the indie music and fixie bike bell ring.

etfb• 13 years ago

I was hating hipsters before it was cool.

alex_doom• 13 years ago

yawn

kamakazizuru• 13 years ago

yes - my immediate reaction after the first line was - HIPSTERS!

beaker522• 13 years ago

I had a girl fly from London to Spain for our second date, the day after our first, whilst I was on holiday with my at-the-time-ex-girlfriend.

Crazy stuff can happen!

tostitos1979• 13 years ago

Heh ... I've flown for dates at least 3-4 times. Seemed romantic at that time. None of them worked out and I blew a lot of cash. But it makes for some interesting memories :)

Fuxy8• 13 years ago

You should never fly for dates it never works out you come off too needy.

Now if you're flying to visit a place and just squeeze a date in that's different. The goal shouldn't be the date it should be visiting the city.

Maybe you can make her show you around (if she's a local) that way you get something out of it even if it doesn't work out.

vittore3• 13 years ago

write a story!

beaker522• 13 years ago

Maybe I will :)

joosters2• 13 years ago

Minimalist travel apparently includes an iPhone and an iPad mini these days. So much for getting away from it all!

001sky• 13 years ago

Agree. I noted this as well. The optimistic way to look at this, however, is it obviates the need for maps, plane tickets, guidebooks, a compass and a couple other items that you would surely bring, otherwise. The real faf is the power source (being tied to towns), absent a mobile solar panel (which adds weight, volume, and clutter).

joosters2• 13 years ago

Oh, it's definitely a practical choice, agreed. But it seems to completely go against the minimalist escapist travel ideal that is romanticised in the article.

corresation• 13 years ago

It doesn't sound like they were trying to get away from it all, but instead was an unburdening from the physical hindrances that weight down travel. A smartphone/tablet helps in such a pursuit, replacing maps and cameras and phones and books and itineraries, etc. It also enables them modern agility because they can find a place to eat/stay/wash/etc with ease virtually anywhere -- this used to be a major problem of travel, and was the reasons we made fixed plans in advance.

It sounds fantastic to me. I despise travel generally for all of the stuff that goes along with it (fixed plans, fixed times, loads of luggage), so this sounds simply brilliant to me.

And for all of the talk about clothes, note that clothes are something you can buy with ease and little expense anywhere, if the situation demanded.

vbuterin2• 13 years ago

Actually, if you have a smartphone with no plan (quite reasonable if you're travelling a lot), then you still get your map (Osmand), compass, flashlight, books, etc, and at the same time "get away from it all" from a communications standpoint.

officemonkey• 13 years ago

An iPhone or iPad is a total minimalist thing. It replaces a camera, a music player, books, a mirror, a flashlight, a phrase book, travel guides. And that doesn't even touch on the communication benefits of having Skype in your pocket.

72deluxe• 13 years ago

If Skype didn't crash on iOS and destroy the battery, it'd be great! As it stands, I would prefer not to have it if travelling around the world :-)

Having said that, I have used it on Android whilst by a Cornish harbour to ring home, so I get your point!

glomph• 13 years ago

If you took a camera, a music player, books, a flashlight, a phrase book and travel guides with you then you would not be being minimalist. Replacing them with one tool is physically more minimalist, but in terms of distractions or intellectual 'stuff' about the same.

rza• 13 years ago

The credit card did it for me. I think there's a difference between minimalist and just not packing things because you have the money to just buy whatever you need later. Not to mention the ability to return home to your job as a professor.

mixmastamyk8• 13 years ago

Not everyone uses their device as a work tether.

I could certainly use a map/camera/note taking device on any trip, no matter how minimalist. As she wrote, the point of the trip was not to suffer.

zaroth2• 13 years ago

The writing really is fantastic, the story compelling and unique, and the take-away completely expected. How could you not find yourself more focused, more present, more enrapt by the lands and peoples surrounding you, with nothing to distract you but the clothes on your back!

Modern marketing machines aside, I think the human condition really lends itself to exploring the world like this. There must be some base instinct which tends to support a high level of empathy and respect for the courageous and peaceful strangers who throw themselves into a foreign culture like this. Obviously some tribes don't invite strangers so easily, but often the people you think would be most hostile are the ones that welcome you the warmest.

One thing I'm mildly curious about, when asked, did they say they were Canadian? ;-)

Kudos to Clara and Jeff, and thanks for sharing your story with us.

EDIT: For those harping on them carrying an iPhone/iPad, let me just say this; feel free to comment about how your own similar experience was further enhanced by also unplugging. In the meantime, I'm impressed with anyone who can take such a large bet on the chivalry of strangers in a foreign land and come out so much better for it. Personally I think carrying an iPhone is orthogonal, because it's a useful planning and safety tool which does little to dampen the experience a trip like this can bring.

jacques_chester• 13 years ago

I found the writing middling, the story twee and arrogant and the take-away utterly predictable.

Of the two of us, I am clearly the better fit for HN.

noeltock• 13 years ago

"Of the two of us, I am clearly the better fit for HN."

Thanks for the laugh, nailed it.

auggierose• 13 years ago

great reply

zaroth2• 13 years ago

LOL. Chalk it up to euphoria following an all-nighter spent coding.

Sometimes I check for trending posts with zero comments where I can post a glowing review, just to mix things up a bit. I'll admit I may have taken it too far :-)

tootie• 13 years ago

"I think the human condition really lends itself to exploring the world like this."

The universality of the human condition is what made me get bored with travelling. I've never done a trip like this one, but I did once pack a suitcase and move to a country where I didn't know anyone and stayed for almost 2 years. Everyone everywhere is fundamentally the same. Human civilization has been slowly building momentum towards the singularity and the current vanguard is our modern first-world urban environments. I already live in one of the best ones and don't like leaving.

pault2• 13 years ago

It took me 3 countries and 5 years to come to the same conclusion. Don't ruin the surprise for the backpackers though, they all think they're Indiana Jones.

mixmastamyk8• 13 years ago

So, you've now got enough experience to know what you value. The rest of us should not bother?

Traveling is not only about human condition, it's also about doing things you wouldn't have the opportunity to back home.

Osmium• 13 years ago

I love how an iPhone was deemed more essential than a change of clothes.

pcrh2• 13 years ago

Well, it gives them unlimited access to information, which helps a lot when arriving in a new city. The lack of a change of clothes is a bit gimmicky and relies presumably in being able to find a washer and drier pretty much anywhere.

bergie2• 13 years ago

You can find a washer and drier pretty much everywhere. Most hostels have facilities for washing clothes, and hotels usually provide this as a service. And then there are laundromats of course.

The only problem is what to wear while washing stuff, and of course the fact that you need to handle this quite often if you only travel with one set. This is why I always travel with one or two changes in my backpack.

zalew• 13 years ago

Once you actually travel like this a lot you come to realize that changing clothes is basically optional.

some people sharing transport with you may disagree.

gambiting• 13 years ago

If you think about it - it kind of is. I would rather have some means to call for help if I need it than clean clothes.

idProQuo• 13 years ago

I would absolutely do the same. Get one of the apps that downloads WikiVoyage and you have a detailed guidebook for all of Europe (including phrasebooks for every language) that doubles as a camera and flashlight and fits in your pocket.

grayarea• 13 years ago

All it needs is the word Don't Panic written on it in large, friendly letters.

vbuterin2• 13 years ago

Once you actually travel like this a lot you come to realize that changing clothes is basically optional. And as far as value per kilogram goes, smartphones are pretty much impossible to beat (well, maybe certain categories of medicine if you have some kind of condition, but otherwise I can't think of anything)

Kequc2• 13 years ago

As someone that started traveling when good smartphones were in their infancy and I didn't have one. Just trying to pick which bus to take or how to find an information kiosk, you'll spend all day trying to figure either one of those things out.

nisa• 13 years ago

I did something similar albeit not so cool and without the intent of dating but with a backpack. Hiked and Hitchhiked a few weeks through Europe with a girl. We met through a "looking for hitchhiking partner" forum. It was tremendous fun. We almost had no money and no iSomething but met a lot of nice people and got around very quickly. We also showered and changed clothes every few days. Smelling like shit complicates things. Hitchhiking is far easier if you look and smell "normal".

I remember driving a BMW from the 7 series into the sunset heading to the atlantic ocean in france. I have the credit card of the car owner next to me (for the toll stations) as he is sleeping and we are listening to his favorite french chansons. He was a banker not much older than me. This connected feeling and trust is priceless and I'm really flabbergasted every time it works. There is a longing in the people you meet on your way and a longing in yourself. Nothing beats someone who stops and offers you ride after you were stuck for 6 hours in a godless place surrounded by refuges who are trying to enter great Britain in the back of trucks that cross the border. And you suddenly realize how important that passport in your pocket is. And how lucky and privileged you are and what desperation does to people. I don't know. It changed my perspective on a lot of things.

If you are careful with your money and avoid tourist areas and research cheap spots before going to big cities (more expensive if you don't know where to live on the cheap) you can travel for 4 weeks for 500 to 1000€ in western europe using only a tent and a small backpack. In eastern europe it is probably cheaper. We also went to restaurants quite often - so we were quite wasteful.

But if I would do it next year again I'd also take a smartphone with me. There is the great hitchwiki.org and Couchsurfing and other internet services would help me save money and time. This was in 2007.

ryanbrunner• 13 years ago

My wife and I travelled through Europe around the same time as you (most of 2007 and some of 2008). We managed to spend about $25000 for both of us for a year's travel. There's really a ton of ways to travel cheaply if you do your research.

One resource that was invaluable for us was HelpExchange (http://www.helpx.net). Basically the idea is that you exchange helping out someone (usually for about 4 hours a day) in exchange for room and board. On it's own, it's not the greatest deal in the universe, but you can find some really interesting places. During our stay, we did help exchange at:

- A farm in Sweden, where we helped out at the market, got to see some amazing countryside with super friendly people.

- A pub / hostel in a small village in Yorkshire, where our "job" was really just to chat with the locals and pull the occasional pint.

- An absolutely beautiful chateau in Normandy, with 4 other helpx people, including a chef who made the most amazing food ever.

- A camel farm in Austria, where we actually learned to be pretty good horseback riders in 4 weeks (due to dressage lessons every day after we took the camels for a walk)

peterwwillis2• 13 years ago

There's also a lot of hospitality exchange groups that'll help you meet people and hopefully find a place to stay. Here's a list: http://wikitravel.org/en/Hospitality_exchange

spiek• 13 years ago

I'll add a +1 for HelpX. I worked for an English couple in Normandy, and an Irish woman in New Ross, Ireland in the summer of 2009. It was a fantastic way to see a different side of the country you're traveling to, as well as a great experience.

My hosts in Normandy told us stories about people who travel through Europe just bouncing from HelpX spot to HelpX spot, all they need is money to travel between spots. If you pick your destinations right, you get a built in tour guide.

It's not the same kind of relaxing as laying on a beach somewhere, but if you find a good helpx, it's rewarding, and can be a lot of fun.

grecy3• 13 years ago

I drove my Jeep from Alaska to Argentina in 2 years, and only spent $27k total.

http://wikioverland.org has the info on how to do that kind of vehicle-based travel.

rpsw• 13 years ago

It seems to me a backpack wouldn't decrease mobility by much, and would allow for more comforts such as a change of clothes.

binarymax• 13 years ago

A small backback would not be a physical hindrance, but rather a psychological one.

damon_c• 13 years ago

I once travelled through about 8 countries in Asia over two months. I was recently looking at the backpack I had used for that trip and remembered that it was literally half filled with lonely planet/history/language books that must have weighed about 20 lbs. That is hard to imagine these days.

jhull• 13 years ago

To put that in perspective: I just backpacked a year abroad on a 14 country tour through Africa, India and Southeast Asia with my (now) fiancee. On our first day in Rwanda a guy gave us the entire 2007 Lonely Planet series (like 90 countries) in PDF format that we put on our Kindle. They were 5 years old and using a Kindle for large PDFs is an awful experience, but it saved us about 100 pounds of weight.

mixmastamyk8• 13 years ago

Hence she had the ipad mini, just 308 grams (0.68 pounds)!!

mherdeg2• 13 years ago

I thought this was a pretty cool story but was a bit bummed that the author didn't disclose the total cost of their trip. It would have been interesting to know how much they spent.

Fuxy8• 13 years ago

There's something weird there that sounds like a very fun way of travel but those pictures seem very cold.

With that body length distance between each other in every picture they don't seem friends at all more like people who happen to be traveling together. What's up with that?

jonahx• 13 years ago

I thought it was cool. Instead of doing the boring arms around shoulders that everyone else does, they made a deliberate decision to take these posed, stoic shots, using the same formation in every one. Much more interesting than the "warm" shots you see in typical facebook posts that are instantly forgettable.

Fuxy8• 13 years ago

It's human nature to want physical closeness why would you mask that?

To me it looks like their awkwardly standing there like look where we are.

I detest posed pictures I like them to look as natural as possible.

Best way to get that is to catch people when they don't notice their getting their picture taken.

sjtrny2• 13 years ago

If they end up hating each other, they can crop the other person out.

probably_wrong• 13 years ago

I think it's an aesthetic choice - seeing as she's a writer, she probably thought about the whole series of pictures before departing.

They probably have lots of other pictures taken spontaneously.

davedx• 13 years ago

I hitchhiked from Leh to Manali in northern India with a couple of guys I met while travelling. It was an incredibly liberating, unforgettable experience. The hitchhiking experience gave you a completely different experience of travel: on the way from Manali to Leh I sat clutching my head with altitude sickness as a minibus sped through the Himalayas at breakneck speed, making the journey in 12 hours or so. Whereas on the return trip, I think it took us around a week: we saw so much more of the places along the way, had views across incredible Himalayan plains from standing up in the back of pick up trucks or overlooking chasms from the cab of a lorry while the driver dragged on his cigarette. We stopped off more and talked to more people, explored more, and even did a spot of walking like the authors in the article -- sometimes this is your only option: no vehicles for 3 hours? Start walking!

We had backpacks though... not as hardcore ;)

singular• 13 years ago

It's a nice idea, but this strikes me as a bit of a puff piece for OkCupid. The fact the name of the site is used and not 'an online dating site' makes me question it.

I am somewhat biased though as I am a bitter + twisted undateable who's had bad experiences with online dating. If these people got something positive out of the experience, then awesome :)

sudomal• 13 years ago

Even the photos with their old/fuzzy/faded effect reminds me of the style used by TV adverts for online dating.

zhemao• 13 years ago

Oh, I thought that was just an Instagram filter.

hellweaver666• 13 years ago

What I want to know was who was taking the photos?

potatolicious• 13 years ago

... and fashion, and lifestyle, and engagement photos, and wedding photos...

It's just an old-timey filter that's hot right now, I don't think it's really particularly associated with online dating.

the_watcher5• 13 years ago

Other than the title and the beginning, I barely even noticed OkCupid in the story (maybe it was there, but it was not the part that interested me so I ignored it?)

davegardner• 13 years ago

I really think they should have taken a towel with them.

poissonpie• 13 years ago

The no change of clothes angle seems to be overshadowing what I think really made their experience - that of no itinerary. That said, I think people mostly over-pack for holidays/travel. I once had all my luggage stolen at the start of a holiday when camping in France. I ended up buying a jumper and a change of underwear and the rest of the holiday went swimingly :)

altoz• 13 years ago

You learn more about yourself going alone.

bergie2• 13 years ago

...and you generally meet a lot more people. Traveling alone is awesome

ozh• 13 years ago

1) It's a "date" and on every picture they're like 4 meters apart from each others. Hmmkey.

2) Looks too much like an okcupid & instagram linkbait than real stuff.

skimmas• 13 years ago

I was thinking exactly the same, the photos with the forced distance between them looks really weird.

mixmastamyk8• 13 years ago

I think its a theme, and they just met.

brianbreslin2• 13 years ago

As someone who loves the idea of wandering, but is always apprehensive of truly letting go, I enjoyed the concept of this article. The writing left something to be desired because the author missed the point that we the readers were looking for: did she fall in love with this stranger she met on okcupid? Did traveling without agenda with someone you barely know bring them closer together or further apart? Where is the HUMAN aspect to the story.

More related to the topic: Are there flex-passes still sold for flights, trains, etc (like eurail passes)? Or do security issues prevent basically open ended stand-by flying?

talmand4• 13 years ago

"Our romantic relationship intact, Jeff and I boarded the Heathrow return flight as closer friends than ever (despite the questionable state of our undergarments)."

brianbreslin2• 13 years ago

yeah, but that gives us really very little to go off of, seeing as this was her "first date" right?

months later or weeks later, where are they?

the_watcher5• 13 years ago

You generally can buy flexible flights. It's a key thing to look for in mileage rewards programs, as it can let you use rewards miles more efficiently.

headgasket• 13 years ago

Did they carry a pdf copy of the lonely planet(s) on their ipad mini? How about the hitchhiker's guide, by D. Adams? Just for the mise en abyme, I'm sure there was no time to read...

S4M• 13 years ago

I don't believe the story, for the simple reason that they should stink a lot after some time in the same clothes.

auctiontheory3• 13 years ago

Despite the photos, maybe they are Korean: http://shotgunkorea.wordpress.com/tag/korean-lack-of-body-od...

hiccup• 13 years ago

Dude should've brought a condom.

cheez• 13 years ago

Nails every OkCupid cliche.

Not HN material though.

johndavidback• 13 years ago

I don't know about that, I think anything conversation-starting and interesting belongs on HN. They did 'hack' the traditional method of traveling by ditching all their 'things' and not having any reservations or plans. Plus, there's a hell of a lot more comments on this post than I see on some 'new js library that does X!'

the_watcher5• 13 years ago

I thought the same at first. An OkCupid date isn't something I would expect to find here. The travel plan of buying a flight to one country and a flight back from another with no plans between, however, was fascinating and the type of thing I do enjoy finding on HN.

auctiontheory3• 13 years ago

The travel plan of buying a flight to one country and a flight back from another with no plans between, however, was fascinating

Actually, if you're in the backpacking mindset, that is completely standard. Unfortunately that mindset is much less common in the US than in other Western countries.

peterwwillis2• 13 years ago

There's got to be some phrase that describes this. "Travel porn" is the closest I can get to. Wandering through random locales with some meager idea of a lesson learned or an "experience" that might in some way transmogrify your grip on reality. In the end you just end up meeting a lot of strangers and seeing a lot of different places, which doesn't teach you anything other than how to wash your clothes in a sink or how to order a beer when you don't know the language.

mherdeg2• 13 years ago

Josie Long does a good send-up of this in her standup show "Trying Is Good", http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2Vwy9TL3pY#t=14m25s // http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtBsI4JAViQ

"In this last year, I've got to do more traveling than I ever thought I'd be able to. It's been wonderful. What it has done is it has blown my tiny, (?) mind. I really want to talk about it. But I'm just a bit worried because I am aware that when people go traveling, they can come back with this sort of attitude on them. You know, like, 'Yeah, I've just been traveling … yeah, traveling, no, it's like a holiday, it's just I'm more sensitive than you. Yeah, no, just traveling, mate. Just the people, you know, soooo different! Just, pace of life mainly. Just, poverty, you know. Just the street food, temples, yeah, temples. Just so, just so, really made me realize how intelligent I am.' I thought, I probably am a little bit like that, I don't want to be."

mixmastamyk8• 13 years ago

doesn't teach you anything other...

You're not even trying. Why even get out of bed in the morning?

richardlblair• 13 years ago

Hipster hate aside, that was fun to read. You have to admit, you were amused...

the_watcher5• 13 years ago

The travel idea is fascinating to me. Lately I have been really interested in taking a month off work and hitting the Andean countries in South America. Start in Colombia, hit Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Paraguay, Chile, and Argentina. Brazil and Uruguay if there is time. Adding this to it would give me much more flexibility and encourage me to be spontaneous. I probably wouldn't go as far as they do with no stuff though. I'd bring clothes and my MacBook Air at least.

mililani• 13 years ago

Well, don't they say that the litmus test for romantic relationships is travel? Man, they learned how to swim in the deep end.

coryfklein• 13 years ago

Is anyone else curious how much money this cost them, outside of the plane tickets?

I imagine food would get pretty expensive with this strategy. I think the travel expenses (bus, train, etc) would be less than expected because of the hitchhiking though.

auctiontheory3• 13 years ago

Reminded me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHO391xTO-s

evan_• 13 years ago

If I was going to write an article after visiting 8 countries in Eastern Europe I hope I'd be able to find a better subject than myself.

Apocryphon• 13 years ago

"Loves to travel" has to be one of the most cliché banalities that people put on their profiles. I guess kudos to these guys for actually living out their interest.

grecy3• 13 years ago

During my Alaska->Argentina drive I managed a hostel in the Andes in Ecuador for 5 months.

I met all kinds of travelers, including a young lady that had been on the road for six months, with nothing.

Her passport was in her front pocket, and a credit card and ~$20 in the other. Nothing else.

Her clothes were falling off and covered in duct tape and she couldn't remember the last time she showered. It was repulsive.

mixmastamyk8• 13 years ago

Sounds like you are complaining about a person who didn't shower. Gross sure, but the natural human condition.

The fact she no carried no luggage doesn't seem to be the problem.

grecy3• 13 years ago

With no luggage, you only have one pair of underwear. Showering only helps so much.

iMark• 13 years ago

From the photos it almost appears that this date was brought to you by the films of Wes Anderson.

igorgue2• 13 years ago

If there's an aspect I don't like about myself is that I hate traveling. The whole topic of travel bores me a lot. And really alienates myself from "interesting" conversations.

Just the thought of sleeping somewhere that isn't my place, then carry all things and walking, and having that fear of getting lost all the time is not something I find enjoyable, and lets not forget airports.

I enjoy going out (and I do it a lot) and meeting strangers and I pretty much live in a tourist trap. So it isn't that I'm antisocial.

kevination• 13 years ago

I too used to think traveling sounded more stressful than it's worth, but going overseas with friends who are veteran globetrotters helped me see the experience through their eyes, and I eventually got infected with the travel bug. Somewhere along the way I figured out how to embrace the discomfort. yrmv of course; there's nothing wrong staying home.

sujeetsr• 13 years ago

Its reassuring to see that at least one other person has the same viewpoint as me, when I seem to be surrounded by people who 'love' traveling

igorgue2• 13 years ago

I feel you, all my friends "love" traveling too, more like "love talking about traveling" tho.

I always think: "Do you know the implications of traveling? Not sleeping on your own bed? Bugs? Most people get sick for trying odd foods? (which is something I'm always down)"

mixmastamyk8• 13 years ago

Consider making a goal you'd like to accomplish, instead of "travel." For example, "I'd like to climb Mt. $X, dive the Great Barrier Reef, or see a Broadway show in NYC."

The craziest date ever

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