Show HN: Probabilistically Generating HN Post Titles

by gamegoblin • 13 years ago

683 260 13 years ago

gamegoblin9• 13 years ago

I was inspired by this comment https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6813162

I find that lookback of 2 generally creates more entertaining titles. Lookback of 3 usually seems to just splice together two titles (which can be hilarious, and is usually more grammatically correct), and lookback of 1 tends to generate more nonsense.

Some fun ones I found just now:

    The Neuroscientist Who Discovered He Was a Teenage Hacker

    How my comment on TechCrunch got me a new, useful superpower?

    PHP Sucks But I Didn't

    Windows 8 is 20% faster than C

    The Navy’s newest warship is powered by WebGL

    Cards Against Humanity has made comments even worse, I'm leaving

    How Porsche hacked the financial system and made a html5 game, polished it many many times

Interestingly, if I change the code to pick the most likely word, followed by the most likely word, etc. the "most probable" post is "The New York Times and The Internet"

If I limit it to just 2013 posts, it is "The NSA surveillance".

My site is running on the smallest Digital Ocean droplet (512MB), if it goes down, I will feel silly. If it does, code can be found here: https://gist.github.com/grantslatton/7694811

ggambetta• 13 years ago

Markov chains are always hilarious. Try feeding it the whole text of a news article, or even a book; this way you can use higher lengths and get even more impressive results.

drewhk4• 13 years ago

I am not sure. I have seen funny MC generated text before, but I think headlines are short and their structure plays well with the Markov Model.

dgesang• 13 years ago

The Navy’s newest warship is powered by WebGL

omg ymmd

emhart• 13 years ago

"PHP Sucks But I Didn't" is pretty hilarious, also knowing what the "most probable" is by year could be a great annual tradition. Did you check 2012 and 2011?

Houshalter• 13 years ago

Or the most probable per month would be interesting too.

zaguios• 13 years ago

Here's one I found that was quite amusing: "Aisle50 (YC S11) streamlines the search for aliens"

icambron• 13 years ago

The best one I got was "Aisle50 (YC S11) is a valid ipv4 address"

egor83• 13 years ago

5. WordPress has left the solar system

Amazing. Thank you!

frik2• 13 years ago

Obama wins back the right to keep emails private

John Resig's 'Secrets of the JavaScript Ninja Update'

From YC Rejection to 10,000 Users in 1 Day

PyPy is faster than pushing a pixel to the screen

screenshot: http://s28.postimg.org/k9pdb67n1/funny.png

kr43• 13 years ago

Couldn't resist from posting these:

-How Facebook is killing Linux on the desktop

-MongoDB Raises $150 Million - And Still Isn't Difficult Enough To Watch HBO Shows

-Facebook claims it can read your e-mail without a data plan

-I am depressed and I need someone to talk to restaurants.

-Ask PG: Will you share your data in plain English

-France convicts Google Maps for iOS

-Mars water surprise in Curiosity rover – I am depressed and I am building Tindie fulltime

-SPDY Review by Opera Software has filed a lawsuit

kr43• 13 years ago

A few more (thanks for an hour long non-stop laugh!)

-Microsoft made their own online textbook, save district $175,000

-Data.gov & 7 Other Sites to Shut Down Uber

-Ramit Sethi and Patrick McKenzie on Getting Your First iOS App Store Nightmare

-Valve: Piracy Is More Important Now Than Ever Before

-iCloud’s Real Purpose is to Kill W3Schools

-Pirate Bay Will Stop In Silicon Valley And Unemployed America

-The Revolutionary Birth Control In The World: Maximizing Shareholder Value

-Samsung flew bloggers to Berlin, then threatened to leave a tech job at Facebook

-Google’s Marissa Mayer Has a Secret Backdoor in New Encryption Standard? (2007)

atmosx• 13 years ago

Hahaha these are AWESOME especially the facebook one and the MongoDB hahahahaha

reinhardt2• 13 years ago

Here's my top10 as of now:

  - Ask HN: What's the best place to aim on a Porn Website
  - The Professor, the Bikini Model and the Kindle
  - John Resig's ‘Secrets of the HBGary hack
  - Oracle discontinues Ruby/Rails support for SOPA.
  - A new way of writing unmaintainable code.
  - Redesigning the country of Liechtenstein for $70,000 a night with Airbnb
  - Build a house for $5
  - Iranian Web Programmer’s Death Sentence to Be Successful
  - Show HN: Pick a number from 1 to 1000 in C
  - Greplin (YC W10) open sources key piece of shit startup I hate to love

sologrrl2• 13 years ago

Those are absolutely hilarious. Created a new subreddit to submit and vote on the best of these titles at http://www.reddit.com/r/HNCJ

Show HN post for the subreddit is here. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6816322

siddboots• 13 years ago

-RSS Is Dying, and You Should Too

tobico• 13 years ago

- My boss decided to add a new syntactic feature to PHP

gms• 13 years ago

Tears are streaming down my face from laughing so hard.

DanI-S• 13 years ago

Deleted my portfolio, made $30k in my first six months of programming: from man-rodent to partyman

sowhatquestion• 13 years ago

"Ma'am, Your Burger Has Been Acquired by LinkedIn"

^ almost died laughing at that one just now

timtadh• 13 years ago

also: "Learn You a Haskell is now larger than LinkedIn"

theycallmemorty2• 13 years ago

Those are incredible.

theycallmemorty2• 13 years ago

"MIT discovers a new syntactic feature to PHP"

rbosinger• 13 years ago

I want to work for Porsche! It sounds like they're getting shit done.

dirtyaura• 13 years ago

Oh boy, I haven't lauhde this hard for a while. You have created a masterpiece of algorithmic humor. A few gems from my trials:

HIV-Infected Infant Cured With Early Use of 'App Store'

First employee of startup? You are not colder than absolute zero

No, really, pi is wrong: The NSA slide you haven’t seen

$100k Revenues in One Click.

dcohenp• 13 years ago

Honestly, when I read the NSA one I started laughing, but then it kind of sent a shiver down my spine. Brrr.

dnqthao• 13 years ago

This one is so real!

Q: “How much does an app cost?” A: “About as much as I make?

Too scared to write a simple operating system

Cook something or get out of bed for less than $10,000 per day.”

In Math You Have to Find Them

Fastest-growing YC S11 startup looking for hackers. Join us in our quest to kick healthcare's ass.

jessedhillon• 13 years ago

I got one which aptly describes a sentiment I feel often in general around here:

The piece of shit startup I hate to love

pawn• 13 years ago

I thought this one was great:

What it's like to be forked

spyder• 13 years ago

- MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle

- Show HN: My husband is Broken

- Twitter acquires, you laugh, you're still loving

- My dad unexpectedly uses my Linux laptop to get your attention. Join us!

- Ask HN: my 5-year-old son to Acquire Lucasfilm Ltd.

- Linux is now hosted in North Korea

cfontes3• 13 years ago

"MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle"

This one is a gem. I can almost see the fishy article about it

mattdeboard• 13 years ago

Most data isn’t “big,” and businesses are wasting money pretending it is a prison and damaging our kids

Won't someone think of the children?

JPL director: Curiosity may have been causing USB disconnects

DouweM4• 13 years ago

"NSA Boss Asks Congress For Blanket Immunity For Companies That Help NSA Whistleblower Edward Snowden"

wolfgke• 13 years ago

My top 10 so far (in no particular order):

  Tesla wins in North Korea [since Kim Jong-un bought one]
  CISPA Passes in the browser
  Zynga Shuts Down Major Websites and Https Protocol [very plausible]
  The Rules of a startup [couldn't believe first this wasn't a HN title]
  Simple Minecraft Clone in 580 lines of Ruby [ditto]
  What's the best startups in the noise of 802.11 [even more true than HN]
  Parsley.js: never write a Web Application that makes you understand git [ditto]
  Why I am building a hulking floating data center [I wish someone would do it]
  Only a few countries are teaching children how to drive customers away [are these countries called "communistic"? ;-) ]
  Concurrency is not an iPad [having read so many strange comparisons concerning concurrency I'm not surprised...]

FiloSottile2• 13 years ago

I've made a Twitter bot out of it, it will post on average every 5 hours.

https://twitter.com/HNTitles

Code at https://github.com/FiloSottile/HNTitles

cfontes3• 13 years ago

Nice of you to release the code.

Cheers !

wilg2• 13 years ago

I threw together a little app that lets you vote for the funniest ones of these: http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/

(I also really want to update it to also do Upworthy-style headlines. And maybe combine the two?)

wilg2• 13 years ago

Update: Now it does Upworthy also. And mashups. Amazing mashups.

mFixman2• 13 years ago

Show HN: I am very real

vincvinc• 13 years ago

Startup hopes to hack the beliefs that are holding you back

Thank you for epitomizing HN.

imrehg• 13 years ago

Pretty aggressive/pessimistic!

  RSS Is Dying, and You Should Too

Edit: Some more funnies...

  Nimbus.io: Open-source alternative to the US
  Groupon is the new FTP

And last but not least:

   Official Hacker News is bad for you

Draco6slayer2• 13 years ago

Science fiction novel about an open-source country.

ElectroPrime• 13 years ago

  Why I Quit My Job to Start the Rest of My Life as an Apple Store Employee
  Facebook bans Adsense in all human history
  Show HN: We made an addictive way to fold a sheet of paper
  Rules of Storytelling According to the UK Gov
  Death to the ISS - Launch Webcast (starts at 12:00am PDT)

corobo• 13 years ago

FBI Document: [DELETED] had plan to kill an unresponsive SSH session

Pffft, this is obviously just another internet conspiracy

jiggy2011• 13 years ago

That is literally hilarious. "Nobody’s going to download your bullshit app" , "HN will be retired, transition to Google Wallet Anti-Competitively" , "The best interface is no retirement" , "Amazon's homepage was down for 6 hours to boot Ubuntu" , "PHP Sucks But I Like PHP" , "Programming is a Lie" ,""Gangbang Interviews" and "Bikini Shots": Silicon Valley’s Start-Up Machine" , "Ask HN: What colour is your primary operating system" , "Chrome Engineer: Firefox Is A Costly Mistake" , "CSS Zen Garden is 10 times more efficient than the New Commodore 64" , "How one man escaped from a major UI overhaul" , "Turn anything into a Wikipedia article" , "Women, Tech Conferences and the "profitless business model" fallacy" , "MySQL now includes memcached, and a manifesto" , "FuckItJS: Runs your javascript code with MS Paint" , "Iceland Kicked Out of Y Combinator without an Idea" , "The shittiest project I ever read", "From idea to exit – the vi editor"

jakub_g• 13 years ago

Soylent: What Happened to the Nexus 7

renekooi• 13 years ago

- A file that's both an acceptable HTML page and a Raspberry Pi; - My idea to exit – the vi editor; - Ask HN: How much recurring income do you make in the US on copyright charges; - Your Username Will Now Have Amazon Ads Pre-Installed; - This Google ad has moved people to beat comment spam; - The DDoS that almost broke the rules; - Should Quadrotors All Look Like the One in the middle of NYC?

drewhk4• 13 years ago

I hate myself for posting these, but I cannot resist (I am silently shaking from laughter fighting hard not to wake up my newborn):

Show HN: Let's Be Civil (I think his was a real post but with Tell HN -- the small change is hilarious)

Jordanian citizen was denied re-entry to the Post PC Era

Firefox now only has one big flaw

I feel I am a programmer

Web Intents - the future of spam in Windows

A new Python web framework for Haskell

Fargren• 13 years ago

Damn it, I want to read all of those!

dkersten• 13 years ago

I got this and it seemed a bit.. too real:

Two Senators Say the NSA Is Storing Voice Content, Not Just Metadata

drewhk4• 13 years ago

So hard to stop posting...

    When I Stopped Eating For 2 Years in Production
    How Github uses Github to build a windmill
    Ask HN: Who is Sick
    Apple's Role in Japan stopped having sex?
    Show HN: I love you, dad
    How to write shitty software
    Issue 224182 - chromium - Chrome wakes me up in the process
    Ember 101: Learn Ember at a Bangladesh sweatshop. Meet my 9-year-old boss [video]
    Google breaks 2005 promise never to implement an algorithm from a hacker.
    Who Rules America: An Investment Manager's View on the App Store
    Show HN: A fix for the past year.
    Richard Stallman: How I Hacked Facebook’s Secure Files Transfer Service for Employees
    LuaJit 2.0 is out after many years in prison
    Why should I have no idea what I'm doing
    Tell HN: Frustrated and feeling pretty useless at this moment’ – Jimmy Carter on NSA snooping [video]

elwin• 13 years ago

The first one I saw was

The WorldWideWeb application is now larger than LinkedIn

I had to follow the link to the code to convince myself it really was random and not satire.

zalew• 13 years ago

"White House: What's Blocking Innovation in America? My Answer: IP Laws"

ricardobeat2• 13 years ago

My favorites, almost too good to be fake:

- A conversation between two chatbots and how one found out the other company has bigger monitors

- Amazon and the adults who get upset about Sparrow’s acquisition

- Orin Kerr: Why I Quit My Job to Start the Rest of My Todo List

- How to handle 1000s of concurrent users on a cube-shaped planet

- My Name Is Me - Supporting your freedom to drink coffee

- 15-year-old girl invents flashlight powered by node.js + socket.io

- Nobody's Going to Get Good at Making Money

- Airbnb Has Arrived: Raising Mega-Round at a $1 billion fraud

- Microsoft launches an HTML5 game. I finally understand why I'm not going to steal a Russian airport

wh-uws• 13 years ago

One I got thats similarly almost too good

"Whatever works for you – and giving up reading it will make your customers much happier"

There have been way too many like this once recently

ytjohn2• 13 years ago

Two I got in this same category:

- Man places his genome to Github, smartass forks and issues a pull request - Paul Graham consistently says ‘um’ ~7 times per year, audit finds

And this one is hilarious enough to get an honorable mention:

WYSIHTML5: A better way to get $12 billion of gold to Venezuela

shebson• 13 years ago

My favorites:

"Google is about to learn stats"

"Progressive JPEGs: a new alternative to Node.js"

"Canadians Just Became World's Biggest Problem"

"Your Username Will Now Have Amazon Ads Pre-Installed"

bjornsteffanson• 13 years ago

Some too good not to share:

- Your Username Will Now Have Amazon Ads Pre-Installed

- Android Ported to ANSI C

- Memories of Stasi color Germans’ view of time, if nanoseconds were seconds

- Cook something or get out of Facebook.com

- Mark Cuban: If you want to order it, use 'view source' to find the commented-out link.

- How Little Sleep Can You Get From McDonald's?

- Ocean acidification due to SOPA

- Love startups but not a developer? We need Ruby developers

- Lenovo CEO Gives His $3 Million Bonus to 10,000 Users in 1 Month (with stats)

kps2• 13 years ago

   > Android Ported to ANSI C

The most common issue is the different semantics of 'inline' between historic gcc and C99.

ksrm• 13 years ago

Why I Don't Want Your App. Try Again Later

Ask pg: Please consider not doing a PhD.

When I Stopped Eating For 2 Years

Ask HN: I'm an American and a JPEG (view source on it)

What it’s like to be an accident

Paul Graham consistently says ‘um’ ~7 times per year, audit finds

CISPA Passes in the Womb

US Government: You Don't Prioritize Your Life, Someone Else Will

Stallman: "Facebook is an anti-pattern

Civet coffee: why it's time to submit a pull request

flippyhead• 13 years ago

Love it!

tobltobs• 13 years ago

pimp up your droplet, this is great.

gamegoblin9• 13 years ago

Poor college student, etc...

I am currently using all of my VPS funds hosting a 20$/mo (the big bucks, right?) droplet which is running a server for an AI programming game I made (currently closed testing among my friends).

coldcode• 13 years ago

Now if we could generate the actual posts and create bot readers we could all retire.

rjtavares• 13 years ago

Best one I got: "How to build (and how not to do it again)"

WA• 13 years ago

    Show HN: Most Wikipedia articles lead to unlimited lifetime data storage using Norwegian laws

    A standing desk for two years working on

    Why I quit my job to personally email the first ISP to challenge the USA

vezzy-fnord• 13 years ago

Winamp's woes: how the NSA

This was HN just a few days ago.

archildress• 13 years ago

I'll join, this is fun:

  - Thank HN: 127 days since I quit Facebook

  - Dropbox: The Hottest Startup You've Never Heard of

  - Facebook detects if you are not a pilot

  - Reddit traffic doubles in less than 600 bytes

  - How to break in Gmail & Major Torrent client for work on Jeopardy

jere• 13 years ago

You should make this into a twitter bot, à la Two Headlines https://twitter.com/TwoHeadlines.

namanyayg• 13 years ago

This is amazing!

I got:

    The Dumbest Idea In The South is 129 Million Years Old
    Double Fine raises $1m in less than 600 bytes
    Show HN: Please discuss if it’s 1999
    The Student And Quadrupled My Zappos/Twilio hackathon     entry into the math
    Searching for all Who Changed My favorite bookmarked HN users

Also

    How Khan Academy is the Future of Education
    What it’s like to work for Google

I'm pretty sure these are actual titles (lookback = 3)

Thanks for the laugh :)

3pt14159• 13 years ago

Double Fine raises $1m in less than 600 bytes

That is amazing. It combines Kickstarter, a gaming company, a million dollars, a boundary on time, a bait and switch of units, and an air of sass about how they have yet to build ANYTHING.

gamegoblin9• 13 years ago

Nope! The Khan academy one is a splice of

  How Khan Academy is using machine learning to assess student mastery

and

  Yes, The Khan Academy is the Future of Education

The google one is a splice of

  What it’s like to work for Stripe

and

  No, I still don't want to work for Google

I filter out exact matches (or submatches).

BoppreH2• 13 years ago

Suggestion: filter the titles that are identical to real ones. Or maybe it was part of the plan, demonstrating how they are indistinguishable.

    My deadly disease was just a website.

    IBM's "Watson" finally ready for preorder.

    TileMill — an application for making my daughter cry.

    "Anonymous" Hackers Take Down Megaupload Video

    Google finally has a natural, almost visceral aversion to complexity

    Syrian Internet Is a Hero

    IRS claims it does not compute

    Stripe raises $18 million from affiliate links on "Ad-Free" blog

    Why I use paper to wipe my butt every day.

    Apple not providing LGPL webkit source code 23 years later and you're still loving

gamegoblin9• 13 years ago

If you look at the code, I filter all titles that are substrings (including identical) of real ones. Sometimes the Markov chain will simply add a single word to it, though, so it gets through the filter. Any suggestions on how to improve it?

BoppreH2• 13 years ago

Funny, I'm sure I google'd a few of them and got a perfect match, but now I can't find any more.

Probably my fault, sorry.

sillysaurus2• 13 years ago

The straightforward solution is: For each fake title, compute its Hamming distance to every real title. Filter titles whose distances are very close to real titles.

It's O(N^2), but if you write it in Python and run it with pypy, performance may be acceptable. Maybe.

But I think this is a classic example of a Problem That Doesn't Matter. No need to spend time solving it (unless you're having fun!)

kps2• 13 years ago

Another suggestion: terminate unmatched open delimiters at the end, and strip unmatched close delimiters (parentheses, quotation marks, etc.

lukasm• 13 years ago

Brilliant! :)

Apartments So Small They Can Say No

Coincoin• 13 years ago

It's clearly broken, in three tries, it didn't generate any title starting with "How" or "Why".

tripzilch• 13 years ago

Ask HN: How or why would that happen?

girvo• 13 years ago

Yeah, I'll pay these:

    10x teams, not worth a CEO vs cancer
    How 'One Weird Trick' Conquered The Fifty Days, Payments Service Disruption Post
    The first Django site to run for Australian Senate

DanBC• 13 years ago

Turn it into a game. "Which of these is real? [A] vs [B]" give people ten pairs of headlines and score them.

MongoDB Gotchas and How To Avoid Getting Fired From Your Own Company

darkmighty• 13 years ago

http://snarxiv.org/vs-arxiv/

NathanWong• 13 years ago

Just threw something together for this: http://botornot.nathan.ca/

livestyle• 13 years ago

Comments here --> https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6816346

FWeinb• 13 years ago

This is great!

Best ones:

Zuck, Bill Gates, Jack Dorsey In Short Film To Inspire Kids To Learn How To Write Code In 2012

The tent that turns into concrete in less than 600 bytes

CoffeeScript is not a four letter word

Pxtl4• 13 years ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/199o54/watch_zu...

The first one is verbaitm.

gamegoblin9• 13 years ago

It added the "in 2012" bit, which caused it to slip through my duplicate detector. I am trying to think of a better duplicate detector. Right now it just checks if it is an exact match or substring.

y-satellite• 13 years ago

Funniest thing I've seen in a few days. Markov algorithms are underrated as sources of hilarity.

  After 180 Websites, I'm Ready to Start the Rest of My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant

Semaphor• 13 years ago

    Show HN: I will stop providing any service to MPlayer

    Canada Is About to Come Undone?

    Do the Dishes, Put Out, Don’t Talk So Much Radiation?

    How Paypal and Reddit faked their way to browse pictures on reddit

    Oracle gives up trying to escape police

    Opera moves to restrict Internet freedom

    Our office is too big -- we need a Pirate

coherentpony• 13 years ago

No "Severing ties with..." titles? :)

valtron• 13 years ago

Matt Damon: Edward Snowden did a great job translating LPTHW to Ruby

tbirdz• 13 years ago

    My fellow geeks, we need to have a jobless future

    Did everybody see what just happened? The pendulum has swung.

    Do You Really Want to be a Programmer: A Short, Comprehensive, and Personal Summary

    Why I won't be your technical co-founder

    Killing the Internet to its knees

    Hacking the iPod: How I Earned A Lot More on Projects by Changing My Pricing Strategy

    YC S12 company refuses to pay for TextMate 2

    A Billion Dollars Isn’t Cool. You Know What’s Cool? Paid, Paid Vacation.

    Functional thinking: Why functional programming is on the edge, and so is he

raganwald• 13 years ago

"The policeman's beard if half-constructed"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racter

darkxanthos• 13 years ago

Markov chains were my first foray into machine learning. Painfully simple and accessible. It's a great way to show the power of just a little data.

tehwalrus• 13 years ago

    Show HN: I love weird socks and I'm excited about a year & sold a startup...with only 300 lines of Ruby

this is gold :)

moot• 13 years ago

"AppleCrate II: A New Future"

Fuck the iWatch and iTV -- I want an AppleCrate II.

"The Hacker News is a Work of Art"

Indeed it is.

saraid216• 13 years ago

The Hacker News is Waiting for Godot.

runj__• 13 years ago

  Sleep is more useful than bash

  Changes to my career in magic

  The most difficult CEO skill: managing your own #dickbar

  Confused by lawsuit, Apple consumers switch to git

  Netflix to lose time and money

pmtarantino• 13 years ago

    History made in under 1K of javascript

gamegoblin9• 13 years ago

This is by far my favorite. Inspecting the archive, it is a combination of

  History made in India: Govt agrees to anti-corruption bill

And one of the various javascript posts.

sologrrl2• 13 years ago

The one you quoted is a real title.

http://www.informatica.md/node/77679

eCa• 13 years ago

Got that to!

  MPAA Publicly Threatens to Stop Writing REST API Clients
  Show HN: my useless weekend project, QR-codes for everybody
  Mozilla’s Rejection of NativeClient Hurts the Open Web, GNU/Linux in Danger
  Very clever story telling using HTML and CSS editor
  The Unintended Effects of Reading
  Full Text RSS Feed: Get the whole feed and nothing but the FBI
  How to Quit Your Job, Move to Paradise, and Get So Much Radiation?
  Didn't see this coming: The Goldman Sachs invests in Duck Duck Go
  I feel I am depressed and I Bought Lunch in Manhattan with Bitcoins
  Google's dropping H.264 in Chrome - SSL exploit coming?
  The Art of writing unmaintainable code.
  IE11 to support wiretapping

donjo• 13 years ago

This will come in handy once my team finishes our transition to HackerNews Front Page Driven Development.

increment_i• 13 years ago

These ones got me some odd looks from my coworkers (couldn't hold in the laughs):

  The Node Beginner Book, a guide to Objective C

  What Happens to the HN Crowd: Do nothing for 2 minutes

  The polynomial algorithm for a Cool Billion Dollars

  My husband is a new IDE for poets

Classic.

3rd3• 13 years ago

Maybe it could display the original titles when one moves the cursor over the individual words?

jimmytucson• 13 years ago

It's amazing how with a little ingenuity you can program a source of hysterical laughter. I know comments like this are against HN etiquette but -- thank you gamegoblin!

jseip• 13 years ago

Endlessly entertaining: "ACLU launches phone app to help you avoid hills in SF"

garychou2• 13 years ago

"4chan founder: Mark Zuckerberg is annoying the bankers"

imdsm• 13 years ago

My Neighbor, Steve Jobs dissed me in a "map" interface

Damn Steve Jobs.

Pxtl4• 13 years ago

I am honestly laughing to the point of tears.

- I quit my job to personally email the first open source project

- The 19-year-old jailed for the HN interface

- Google to Sell your Company

- Einstein's list of front end development resources

- 4chan founder: Mark Zuckerberg married

- Mozilla and Partners Prepare to Launch a 65Gbps DDoS, and How You Fix It

- ORM is an idiot" (Update 3)

ricardobeat2• 13 years ago

So someone has finally been blamed for all these <table>s!

wmf• 13 years ago

"Show HN: I really need your money"

garychou2• 13 years ago

"Facebook is what happens when one guy practices art every day for nine years"

jmtthis• 13 years ago

Cool hack to take a photo of Neil Armstrong

sean-duffy• 13 years ago

  Canadians Just Became World's Biggest Problems
  Ask HN: How did you earn from your browser
  Experiments Show Gravity Is Not for Everybody
  Ask HN: How to seem good at math
  IBM develops 'instantaneous' memory, 100x faster than a Cup of Coffee

inanov• 13 years ago

That's quite fun!

frik2• 13 years ago

  Hiding Nobel prizes in plain English
  Have You Ever Tried to Sell My Camera on Craigslist
  Dear NSA, let me know if you're burnt out or just being lazy?
  Nexus 7, Made for Google Search History Before New Privacy Policy Takes Effect
  AngularJS Tutorial: Learn to read Korean in 15 minutes, fits in your browser into future
  How to Make Money -- Without Mining Asteroids
  Google paid AdBlock Plus to get $12 billion of gold to Venezuela
  Java Virtual Machine in pure CSS
  After NSA's XKeyscore, Wikipedia Switches to HTTPS Now, For Free
  US claims all .com and .net websites are in jail, 1 in 6   Easy Steps to a new syntactic feature to PHP
  What Business is Wall Street Journal
  Requests: HTTP for Humans, reached v1.0
  Why Putting SSH On Another Port is a straight-up Ponzi scheme
  Show HN: Pick a number from 1 to 10
  Tom Anderson: Google+ makes Google a better, more integrated set of small, responsive CSS modules
  Behind the scenes of the opportunists and their hackathons
  Apple not providing LGPL webkit source code released (Apple II assembly)
  Google open sources resilience engineering library
  Raspberry Pi now with Twitter's Bootstrap 2 ready for prime-time Jeopardy
  So you think you will hurt your fingers on your resume
  Callbacks are the doctor on the iPad - They Undesigned it
  4chan's Chris Poole: Facebook & Google founders may mine asteroids
  Dijkstra: “You will be built again"

drewhk4• 13 years ago

    Some People Can Run 18 Static Sites on a soaring eagle [video]
    Extracting Audio from Pictures of kittens for use as placeholders in your browser
    A Hacker's Replacement for Gmail users
    Too scared to write a Linux Server
    Stuxnet is now hosted on GitHub

sevenproxies• 13 years ago

A Hacker's Replacement for Gmail users

http://dbpmail.net/essays/2013-06-29-hackers-replacement-for...

    Show HN: I spent 2 years ago. I had no idea what that means.

Avalaxy• 13 years ago

- Power surges in Britain caused by millions of people on Mars

- How to hack the immigration system with a floating incubator

- Lavabit's founder: 'If You Knew What I Know About Email, You Might Not Know about jQuery

- Google Unveils The iPhone 5S

Atroxide• 13 years ago

HN should put a few of these headlines onto the frontpage on april fools day...

jsumrall• 13 years ago

Tell HN: My Startup Failed. Fuck.

downer95• 13 years ago

  1. An unofficial alternative to Node.js

  2. Ask HN: Best books you read daily?

  3. EU Commissioner Will Simply Ignore Any Rejection Of ACTA By EU Parliament supports the new Junk Food

  4. Why you shouldn't start a startup on Haskell [video]

  5. Stallman: Facebook is using IE6 as standard for displaying web pages

  6. Nexus: The best programmers are not paid in proportion to their help text

  7. "They're Made out of Facbook is not a war zone

  8. Behind the scenes of the opportunists and their hackathons

  9. Antibiotic resistance: The last time I saw Steve Jobs

  10. The UK Court Sanctions Apple, Hopes "Lack of Integrity" Is Not Free

gliptic• 13 years ago

Since everyone is doing it...

  Entire field of particle physics is to switch from X window server to Mir
  Google's Nexus 7 is now free forever
  Thoughts on being a fucking joker

Pxtl4• 13 years ago

Eclipse launches new language to cut the crap

Anatomy of a 5pm Bedtime

Man Walks into a stuffed toy

Extracting Audio from Pictures of kittens for use as Paypal in 5 days

Why Education Companies Do Not Emulate These Oppressive Nations

Dear Programmer, I have seen the future of spam in Windows

Do Things that suck in AngularJS

SpaceX wins $440M contract with NASA to develop exploits?

Google Deletes Last 7 Years Of YouTube Scalability Lessons In 30 Minutes

Objective-C in The Rain, Spray Yourself With This

Why Japanese Web Design is Horseshit

John Carmack: Thoughts on Go after writing 3 websites

The Horrible Future of Markdown

bobfunk• 13 years ago

Awesome! Can't help but add a few of the most hilarious it gave me:

How I Became a Billion Dollar Company Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Family MPAA Publicly Threatens to Stop Writing REST API Clients Get-shit-done - Easy way to write a single DMCA notice Linux To Become A Better Twitter Bootstrap Government: we can solve a problem with Vim Tower.js - JavaScript library for creating Windows 8 Why I Turned Down $300,000 from Microsoft to acquire Nokia

pmelendez• 13 years ago

"I took the top 10 daily posts for the last 3 years from Hacker News Daily (sorry about the few thousand wgets last night!)"

I believe you could HNSearch API (https://www.hnsearch.com/api) and that would not impact the website performance

minimaxir• 13 years ago

HNSearch does not allow chronological searching and has a limit of 1000 posts per query. Unfortunately.

kogir• 13 years ago

I have plans for a more detailed first-party API: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6818059

lazugod• 13 years ago

- Question for PG: Where do you work?

- Things I Wish I Had Been Given

- GIMP is Now a Self-Contained Native App for Mac OS X Mouse Annoyances

- Why it is awesome to be inflated in seconds

- Show HN: I really need your money

- Why two spaces after a takedown?

- I'd like to skydive through a mountain

- Why I still don't contribute to an asshole

AndrewBissell• 13 years ago

This is pretty great, but I'm surprised there's not more RandomLibraryName.js or .io.

DanWaterworth• 13 years ago

    Google Engineer: What I learned on a round-the-world yacht race
    Sleep is more important than your users?
    Ruby developers need to stop using Internet Explorer
    Tell HN: You said not to. So I quit my job and launch a startup
    I Up Vote Every 'Show HN' Post and You Should Be Very Worried
    Turn your browser into a notepad with one line of Ruby
    I don't know how to IE6

kronholm• 13 years ago

Thanks for a much needed laugh. This one was my favorite: "Microsoft releases tool for humans"

ismail2• 13 years ago

Federal Prosecutors, in a cellular automata on an RC truck and saves the lives of 6 soldiers

raverbashing• 13 years ago

Here's the best ones I got:

"Our office is too slow for programming"

"E17 is out after many years in jail, the Internet from the Other Side"

"Jack Dorsey: Today Starbucks Signed up for Stallman"

"Everything you need to stop fixing bugs in PHP"

ytjohn2• 13 years ago

Holy crap. I just discovered that development for Enlightenment has resumed. I remember loving using E17 back in the day and then drifted away from it as it stopped being updated.

I didn't realize development had stopped because E17 was in jail.

iagooar• 13 years ago

I'm laughing out really loud:

* Understanding the code quality of the Fibonacci Sequence

* Dad hacks Donkey Kong for his defense

* Show HN: Built a Billion-Dollar Business and Still Gets Home By 5:30 PM

* Show HN: Tired of Being Tired

* Eulerian Video Magnification for Revealing Subtle Changes in Rails?

* Why Google Went Offline Today and a plugin that allows fast NoSQL-style access

* On Atwood's Please Don't Learn to read a sentence of Chinese kleptocracy

* Flashback trojan reportedly controls half a million Americans died and nobody noticed

* Why I left Google. What happened to all the female developers?

* How to land an airplane if you are logged in Gmail

* In emergency cases a passenger was selected and thrown out of the US

* Reddit admin: "If SOPA passes it would almost certainly mean the end of 2011

* Software Architecture cheat sheet for web forms

* How Porsche hacked the financial system and made a html5 game, polished it many many times

Pxtl4• 13 years ago

Man Survives Steve Ballmer’s Flying Chair To Build a Future Without Cars

Notch's 48-hour game: Prelude of the Libyan Rebels

Room Temperature Superconductivity Found in X.Org

Evernote Peek, The First Guitar That Anybody Can Play

How Carrots Became the new Nexus 5

US claims all .com and .net websites are in jail, the Internet café in Zimbabwe

Harvard cracks DNA storage, crams 700 terabytes of data into a wireless airplay speaker

Judge Orders U.S. to Release iOS Maps App Tonight

OGC• 13 years ago

"Redditor Explains Why They're Wrong"

Like that is going to happen.

kr43• 13 years ago

How to land an airplane if you are logged in Gmail

Matt Damon: Edward Snowden did a great job translating LPTHW to Ruby

Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Family

Mozilla should move Persona out of the plane (2004)

Sleep is more important than your users?

MongoDB Gotchas and How To Avoid Getting Fired From Your Own Company

~/.osx — a collection of well-written GPGPU programming tutorials

mikkom• 13 years ago

The No. 1 Habit of Highly Effective Mediocre Entrepreneurs
RIP Open Source releases on GitHub
How I've Made 200,000$ in the browser
Massive deposit of lithium found in bag attended US security conference before death (2012)
Flash is dead. Long live Postgresql”
Anonymous goes after Sony, makes it easy to do WYSIWG word processing

I love this site :-D

joallard• 13 years ago

A Man Walks All Day to Create Spectacular Snow Patterns

Understanding the code quality of the Fibonacci Sequence

Gmail.com being MITM'd by Iran using this idea by now: Font Icons.

neuralk• 13 years ago

Brilliant, hilarious, and either scarily accurate or perfect satire:

  Ask HN: I might be a spook

  Show HN: I'm tired of seeing

  Mark Cuban: If you want to get rich, stop being a fucking joker

  Google+ is now available as an alpha release (1991)

  Apple announces Mac OS X mouse annoyances

davecap1• 13 years ago

Oh no:

    Robert Morris, computer security expert, dies at the age of 91

harvestmoon• 13 years ago

- What Powers Instagram: Hundreds of Passwords

- Gmail.com was down for 6 hours to boot Ubuntu

- MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle

- Facebook, I want to pay defendants' legal bills

- How I Learned to Speak Four Languages in a matter of minutes

jlees• 13 years ago

Nice work!

How about caching the number of upvotes and estimating the potential popularity of the generated titles, then for the most promising, getting a ghostwriter to actually create them? Could turn out brilliantly.

j_m_f• 13 years ago

  Lesser known C Craft: C Programs
  PostgreSQL doesn't care
  Functional thinking: Why I don't "get" art
  Elon Musk says ‘um’ ~7 times the tech sector

politician• 13 years ago

Can Snowden be targeted using the Soundcloud API?

Lovely.

mrbuttons454• 13 years ago

I quit my job and am excited about a Failing Startup

corford• 13 years ago

"No, I'm not going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a talk."

"AWS is down due to IP litigation"

darkstalker• 13 years ago

- Bunny.py: A WiFi darknet that hides its traffic in the cinema

wut

ArekDymalski• 13 years ago

"Rubular - a visual programming language with eternal moral vigilance"

Oh, I just hope people will start doing stuff that fits these titles.

jbrooksuk• 13 years ago

These are brilliant! Using a loopback of > 3 seems to be the best for me.

I analyzed the chords to 1300 popular songs for patterns. This is what a DDoS attack looks like

libria• 13 years ago

From the producer that brought us The Social Network:

    1. The girl with the JavaScript Ninja Update

Categorized under "Well, that was fast":

    3. Rate my startup was my worst mistake

SteroidsLove• 13 years ago

"I’m writing my own DNS servers"

evilturnip• 13 years ago

My favorite:

Indiegogo fund raises enough money to buy random things each month from Amazon

kissickas• 13 years ago

I seriously feel the need to look up some of these on Google, they're so convincing. All from the same batch, lookback=2:

SOPA sponsors break their own IE6-countdown site.

The Arduino Solution to Clearing Afghan Landmines

What Major World Cities Look Like It Was Made By Samsung

WordPress Discontinues Support for SOPA

minciue• 13 years ago

Wow. Thanks for this, I haven't had such a good laugh in a while. Here's what I got:

  Hashify.me - store entire website content in the cloud
  Obama administration is still so offensive
  This Internet provider pledges to put man on Mars
  EFF: Apple Should Stand Up and Down the Ladder of Abstraction
  Video shot from the ground up.
  Drunk scientists pour wine on superconductors and make tons of money?"
  Dwarf Fortress: Ten hours with the TSA
  I’m tired of the Solar System
  37signals.com - Evolution of a working nuclear reactor
  IE11 to support wiretapping
  Ask HN: Google employees, why is G+ more important than food
  RSS Is Dying, and You Should Too

yourad_io• 13 years ago

Ask HN: Google employees, why is G+ more important than food

It must be sentient.

ivanhoe• 13 years ago

"Functional Programming For The First Smartphone Designed Entirely By Lawyers" - this sounds totally legit :)

ismail2• 13 years ago

WordPress has left the solar system

MichaelMoser123• 13 years ago

Thank you Gamegoblin, now it is clear to me that I am spending too much time on HN. And...Must resist the \for a mee too. (futile).

Nuclear Power is Safest Way to Extract the Main Topics from a Scared Actress

US Patent system so dysfunctional you can tell Arial from Helvetica?

N-gram Analysis of the world for 8 years straight

Guys buy island on Craigslist, use Kickstarter to turn up

the volume in the wrong SSL certificate

Bill Gates: My Plan to Raid The Pirate Bay

Sergey Brin invests in Duck Duck Go

henrik_w2• 13 years ago

Absolutely hilaruous! Some good ones:

Netflix Now The Largest Single Source of Internet Explorer privacy controls

How one man escaped from a major statistical error.

20 lines of e-mail data

Skype options turn out to be a Girl in Tech

Scott Adams: How to Apply to Y Combinator Started

cossatot• 13 years ago

Only going to share 1, it was so good:

''' Down syndrome reversed in 2011 '''

lanekelly• 13 years ago

Got this one:

No, I still don't want to download your bullshit app

Thinking it was too good to not already be a headline, I searched and found this:

No, I'm not going to download your bullshit app

Pure gold.

joshaidan• 13 years ago

Looks like I found my weekend project:

"Show HN: Game where you write Python robots to fight crime"

metaxy2• 13 years ago

I think I may have gotten the best one, on my second try:

"Zynga Shuts Down LucasArts"

RBerenguel• 13 years ago

Lost an stupidly large amount of time laughing so hard I cried. Some of the best:

Steve Jobs Presents His Ideas For A New Kind of Screwed Home-made bombs are being deleted from Wikipedia Show HN: New platform for finding work - Son of J.R.R. Tolkien finally speaks out Why I'm done with the booth babes The Geeks Who Saved Prince of Persia source code 23 years later and you're still loving US judge orders hundreds of sites "de-indexed" from Google, what do we need some badass hackers to fill it up. Why F1 Steering Wheels Have Over 20 Buttons - And Still Isn't Difficult Enough To Watch HBO Shows Ask PG: Comments are not a four letter word Opening *.txt file is dangerous on Windows 8 OEM specs may block Linux booting Ultrabook: Intel's $300 million plan to beat comment spam Ocean acidification due to HTML5 Markdown.css – make HTML look like Microsoft made their own company Introducing schema.org: Search engines come together for a return of the universe Researchers Finally Replicated Reinhart-Rogoff, and There Are Too Many Cops Are Told They’re Soldiers Fighting a War. How Did We Get Here? Parsley.js: never write a single JavaScript line to validate 50 cancer studies L'Aquila quake: Italy scientists found guilty of aiding the enemy, but convicted of multiple other counts The New iPad's Screen Under the hood of Windows to test older versions of VLC How Carrots Became the new Opus audio format Please learn to code? Don't copy and paste, type out other people's code An analysis of an unknown compression format Why must you laugh at you, then they laugh at my desk Fastest-growing YC S11 startup (3M monthly uniques) YC S11 startup (3M monthly uniques) YC S11 startup looking for people to talk to restaurants. Windows 8 is 20% faster than MemSQL Republicans Repudiate 40 Years of Firefox Oboe.js: reacting to Ajax/Rest quicker by not waiting for it to Open Source Copenhagen Suborbitals open-source private spacerocket will launch in an unrelated raid Youtube claims I don't know they're in water Why shuttle Atlantis will not do a tech job at Facebook Kit Kat's homepage is currently a parody of Silicon Valley, Bad for the state of Berlin

hluska• 13 years ago

I'm having one of the worst days of my adult life, but this one made me laugh very hard.

#9 - Reginald Braithwaite is a Red Herring

henrik_w2• 13 years ago

This reminded me of "SCIgen - An Automatic CS Paper Generator" http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/

fla• 13 years ago

Thank you for this ! And by the way :

"Let’s Build a Truly Free Version of Windows to test drive autonomous cars on public roads? California says yes"

bobbles• 13 years ago

"Show HN: I hacked my microwave with a Raspberry Pi into a wireless airplay speaker"

Classic

mck-• 13 years ago

This reminds me of a hackathon project of mine: https://github.com/mck-/oneliner

It basically uses a very similar algorithm to summarize any given piece of text in one line.

namenotrequired2• 13 years ago

Some of my favourites:

How to add a “person to blame” field to every site you visit

Larry Page to be forked

Why PHP Was a Political Prisoner at Birth in North Carolina in 1961

Why Explore Space? A 1970 Letter to sites with Twitter Bootstrap, jQuery UI or pure jQuery

Peter Thiel: We’re in a Year

Developers are the most effective thing you did to improve Python for Go

Watch YC Startup with Paying Customers

namenotrequired2• 13 years ago

"Solve your first 10 customers" - what, kill them with chemical solutions?

DouweM4• 13 years ago

I would love a Chrome extension that would randomly inject these into the actual Hacker News front page, and which would then keep a tally of how often I clicked the link and fell for it.

DouweM4• 13 years ago

And here it is: https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews

jw_• 13 years ago

"I quit my job, and I'm excited about a Failing Startup"

cupcake-unicorn• 13 years ago

Haha, awesome, reminds me of the sarcastic 4chan post that came up earlier. Here's a great one:

I love weird socks and I'm surfing a PDF

r0muald• 13 years ago

An unknown proportion of these titles have a corresponding news article or blog post, somewhere on the Web, just waiting to pop up on HN.

eitland• 13 years ago

A day in the Middle of Detroit How to land an airplane (if you don't control it) Richard Stallman on Steve Jobs: A Few New Things Coming To JavaScript Yes, You Can Use Regexes to Parse HTML I made an addictive way to browse pictures on reddit Facebook sinks to record a video cam on an HTML5 game. I finally understand why I'm not buying Facebook

hvass• 13 years ago

This is too good. This I easily see as a link bait at 'Business Insider':

"Why Quit? Because the other company has bigger monitors."

jamornh• 13 years ago

Amazing, can't stop laughing!

- Ubuntu ported to the Web when you hit it with the stupid stick

- Why the cheapest maple syrup is the new compose in Gmail

- Oxford announces new degree in Computer Security, Dies at 78

- Cancer Vaccine, tailor-made for each cashier

- Hacking the iPod: How I Screwed Yasser Arafat out of bed for less than an hour

fruchtose• 13 years ago

LevelDB: a fast multiple-account Google Docs makes it personal... very personal

Show HN: When is good time to cut the crap

Can Snowden be targeted using the Soundcloud API

MIT's artificial leaf is ten times more income from Android than from Windows ’95

Free online version of Apache HTTP Server released

What the smartest people do on the Moon

Sorry, this blog post is not non-linear

Supreme Court to allow Google to sue me into acquiring. Help

Lawsuit Filed To Prove Happy Birthday Is In The Middle Of A Terrible Blubble

Chrome now the most effective thing you did to improve Python for Pythonists

IBM to Acquire a Domain Name?

My husband is a JavaScript library for capturing input

Youporn.com is now MIT licensed

timewasted• 13 years ago

This is awesome.

    My GF learned to be forked
    Online course: Build your own #dickbar
    Why you should learn just a little bit Apple, a little bit Apple, a little bit Apple, a little Awk - A Native-Looking and Feeling Mobile HTML5 Front-End Framework
    Firefox 6 released with long-sought Higgs boson discovery

ericgsmith• 13 years ago

In 1951 there was a startup on Haskell

FiloSottile2• 13 years ago

Awesome.

Jack Dorsey does 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Square daily

gautamnarula• 13 years ago

My favorite: Germany Minister o Justice demands immediate response to "Paul Graham's Letter to YC Companies"

mieubrisse• 13 years ago

"I'm a loser and I need someone to talk about why I'm not allowed to use Lisp"

drak0n1c• 13 years ago

Plenty of Fish Hacked - Chris Russo explains how he did it

25 years ago I hoped we would extend Emacs to do market research

beernutz• 13 years ago

How to land an airplane if you are logged into Gmail

Tim O'Reilly: Really, Google is making a comeback due to harassment

Ask HN: Does anyone actually code at a parole

Groxx• 13 years ago

    Design Books Every Hacker Should Read (At Least Twice)

I could swear I've read that post (at least twice).

gamegoblin9• 13 years ago

There was a real post called "Papers Every Hacker Should Read (At Least Twice)" and another called "Design Books Every Hacker Should Read"

The program spliced them together.

chrismorgan• 13 years ago

  My GF learned to code in 3 months. This is what it's like to skydive through a thunderstorm

... the connection there is concerning.

  Bitcoin ruled illegal in North Carolina in 1961

Very impressive!

  Introducing BrowserID: A better Ruby REPL

And here I was, all along thinking it was something else.

  Static analysis of Steve Jobs To Take On The Nexus 7 is now feature complete for C++14

I knew C++14 was a broad-scoped language, but using the power of Steve Jobs to tackle Android? Who'd 'a thunked it?

DouweM4• 13 years ago

I just built a Chrome extension that randomly adds one of these to the Hacker News and hckr news frontpages: https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews

fyskij• 13 years ago

After 180 Websites, I’m Ready to Start the Rest of My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant

swoker• 13 years ago

"Hover.com: we store & email passwords in plaintext to the cloud" "Obama wins back the right to cheat their exams"

I laughed so hard!

bhaumik• 13 years ago

So you created the http://what-would-i-say.com/ for all of Hacker News? Kudos.

agibsonccc• 13 years ago

<3 markov chains. I had to do something like this for a homework assignment a long time ago. Here's mine:

PredictionIO – A Simple Explanation for Why HP Abandoned Palm

Obama said the NSA Over Data Collection

NSA collecting phone records for his defense How to Be Upside-Down

GMail: designer arrogance and the $580 Million Black Hole

Contains a New Type of Employee You Really Should Log Client-Side Errors

How to solve it

Google disables AdSense account of Coinpal shut down a product? Open source dynamic body physics engine rebuilt in 25KB—on a graphing calculator

Google to acquire Nokia

Serving at the Pleasure of the plot

Watch YC Startup with Paying Customers

A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of the storm we're pushing the YC application deadline back to Firefox 4 that makes you a better background pattern for your games.

Goodbye Basecamp, This Is All Your Email

37signals invests in synthetic beef

Groupon is a GitHubber

The first Django site to run for Australian Senate

Single page apps in the lab: Apple is back

Calling the NSA: "I accidentally deleted - last backup one year of college calculus to grad student level

Edward Snowden: Saving Us from the Family of Neil Armstrong on Programmer Productivity

Some advice from Jeff Bezos on Post purchase

Is Google building a TC alternative.

Will you post an update on "What I've learned from Hacker News, what else you read?

hilarium• 13 years ago

These had me on the floor:

My husband is a JavaScript library for capturing input

Ignored by big companies, Mexican village creates its own encryption standard

“I hate almost all software” — Ryan Dahl steps down

U.S. Government to Force Facebook into Handing-Over their Secret Tracking Data

Show HN: Learn Math the Hard Way

Valve hired their first Github repo

izietto• 13 years ago

I got this: "Google finally has a huge security hole". Finally!

vmp32k• 13 years ago

    ACTA killed in hit and run accident

rdl• 13 years ago

Next step is to get humans to write the articles based on those titles, and then auto-generate fake comments based on those articles.

vellum• 13 years ago

The Woman Problem

Cosmo: A wolf in the command key files show how to Start Banning “Servers”

Custora (YC S12) Reinvents Transistors Using JSON

Ask HN: We Should Read (At Least Pretend to) Know What’s up

Guy makes a knife from scratch. He has to make a chat server in 12 lines of code

Show HN: Create Javascript charts with one line of code that beat A/B testing every time

Show HN: Why You

I’m Glad We Need Emotional Support Staff to update to C# App

JQuery 1.5.1 released, includes memcached, written in 24 hours

Game Industry Needs a cartoonist's advice

DigitalSea• 13 years ago

This is the greatest thing I have seen on Hacker News in a very long time, and I mean that. This is genius, the titles that it generates paint a pretty clear trend of topics HN likes to discuss: The New York Times, failure, Go, PHP and of course limited to 2013, the NSA.

Some of my favourites I've generated today include:

Living in a bubble

MIT is a Bing Affiliate Scam

My GF learned to be inflated in seconds

Hacker Who Helped Put Jazz Back in 1997 That Made Amazon a Gorilla

I Hope My Father Hated India

How you eat corn on the road to Starcraft

Tim O'Reilly: Really, Google is making a comeback due to harassment

Skype vulnerability allowing hijacking of an interview

Voyager 1 has been forked

Using prime numbers to make unlocking phones legal again passes 100,000 signatures

As a result of this app, I've seen my productivity drop by about 40% today, because this is seriously addictive. I've got an idea for a tech satire site and I am going to use this to generate post titles as inspiration for articles.

mcphilip• 13 years ago

NY Comptroller: Legalise marijuana, tax it now with three.js

loceng2• 13 years ago

Add voting for top titles to get the gems in a list...

loceng2• 13 years ago

"Why the cheapest maple syrup is the best predictor of code quality"

herbig• 13 years ago

Our unrealistic views of death, through a thunderstorm

yetanotherphd• 13 years ago

Nothing makes a place feel like a hive of groupthink like n-grams.

omeid2• 13 years ago

Well, here are my top 10:

    MIT scientist captures 90,000 hours of video of Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack.

    What Every C Programmer Should Know About Fitness is a straight-up Ponzi scheme

    Name.com hijacks non-existent subdomains and redirects to their help Text

    WebKit is the sum of three primes 

    John's Phone: a minimalist cell phone unlocking and fixes the DMCA

    On Confirmed Assumptions or, Not Trusting Google is evil now? Let's Get Real. How About Apple?

    Ask PG: could you travel across the U.S. government poisoned alcohol during Prohibition

    Beej's Guide to Social Hacking: How we screwed (almost) the whole Apple community

   JS roguelike game: The Royal Canadian Mint just announced a new alternative to Github

   Ed McMillen: Ubuntu Store Sold Super Meat Boy leaves database wide

This thing is hilarious.

jasonlmk• 13 years ago

These ones got me:

Google has an entire country What is Possible When There's no need to build a windmill Ask HN: How would I get my entertainment via BitTorrent

Absolutely hilarious!

21cssindia• 13 years ago

Oracle Enterprise Manager Grid Control 12C

Click Here For Enquiry Introduction

    Course overview
    Key Challenges for Administrators
    What Is Enterprise Manager Cloud Control?
    Built-in and Integrated Manageability
    Configuration Management

Reviewing Enterprise Manager Core Concepts

    Review Oracle Enterprise Manager architecture
    Agent Installation and Target Discovery
    Describing Different Target Types
    Monitoring Cloud Control
    Security (very high level)
    Managing Securely with Credentials

http://www.21cssindia.com/courses.html 21st Century providing Online training and support on All Technologies. If you are seeking training and support you can reach me on 91-9000444287. Online training by real time Experts. Call us 001-309-200-3848 for online training

dizzystar• 13 years ago

Wow, these aren't real?

-- Why I won't be your technical co-founder

-- How to design a CAPTCHA

-- Why I do not want to work for Google

-- The end of the web as we know it

-- Show HN: I'm working on an HTML5 game. I finally released it

-- Why I am building a new Google Wave

-- Learn Regex The Hard Way by Zed Shaw

-- Agile is a Lie

-- How to Learn Go

-- The Only Way to Improve Your UI

meowface• 13 years ago

I think some of them do end up being the original titles with some considerable probability, due to the way these kinds of Markov chains work.

gamegoblin9• 13 years ago

No, because I filter those out.

Sometimes they are an original title + 1 or 2 words, though, which are trickier to catch.

amjd3• 13 years ago

Ask PG: What Is Intelligence, Anyway?

DIY Weapons of the USA Patriot Act

Researchers 'speak' to dolphins in their own IE6-countdown site.

Why doesn't every company buy developers the best startups in the Milky Way Galaxy

My Daughter’s Homework Is Killing You

lifeformed• 13 years ago

     "White hat" Facebook hacker gets 8 months at Microsoft

     The Art of writing unmaintainable code.

localuser• 13 years ago

Hilarious! If you guys would love to get a tweet a day from this follow HorseHN. I will tweet a couple a day.

https://twitter.com/HorseHN

pkhamre• 13 years ago

Performance and more online pornography

Notch live in Monthly Revenues

16-year-old Makes 99% of the Performance tips for startups

Mojang's Monster Truck Madness 2

Node.js two minutes = 10 times

gvm• 13 years ago

That's really funny. My favourite: "I haven’t been drunk in 3 minutes"

adityar• 13 years ago

How to land an airplane if you are logged in Gmail

interstitial• 13 years ago

I'm not laughing, I want to read these articles! Get to work and make your magic robot compose the stories.

lsh• 13 years ago

LuaJit 2.0 is out after many years in prison

The Day I Saw Van Gogh’s Genius in a single line of JavaScript

Are mass shootings really random events? A look at the performance of Google Chrome

Chinese Hackers Infiltrate New York (Not Just At Toll Booths)

rext• 13 years ago

-I'm an American and I want to watch the Olympics, live, from the United States Government by stealing .gov

-Chinese students and families fight for the right to sell your iOS app

-Chinese Hackers Infiltrate New York Times, manage to spend $40 million on its pay wall?

-Hit men, click whores, and paid apologists: Welcome to the United States

-Our security auditor is an idiot. How do I write a Web application in Python?

-Poll: Do you know where they are? I do.

Impressive. The last is a little ominous though.

kristiandupont• 13 years ago

I cannot resist but to join in. Thanks OP for a great laugh this morning!

WeekendHacker.net - A Private Small Claims Internet Court

Bruce Schneier has changed since being hidden?

Sublime Text 2 Beta released with support for SOPA

Skrollr - parallax scrolling for the right answer to "Who Is Hiring Remote Workers? (January 2011 Edition)

An iPhone lover’s confession: I switched to the Brain

Experience the Apollo 11 Rockets

eksith• 13 years ago

Sweet Jesus!

  Ask HN: How much recurring income do you make in the witchhunt?
  
  75-year-old soybean farmer sees Monsanto lawsuit reach U.S. Supreme Court 
  to avoid judicial review of the HP-35
  
  Why I've built an alternative to CSS resets

I could have sworn, I actually saw that headline for real.

  The PNG image file format is now feature complete for C++14
  
  You're a developer, so why do you escape CRUD jobs?

Because they're not sexy and doesn't involve Big Data somehow... or at least to the gratuitous degree I want Big Data in my life for no discernible reason.

  Patio11 Wrote A Book On Conversion Optimization For Software Crack, 
  Creator Provides Free App Instead

Hahaha!

  Mistakes You Can’t Copyright Porn, Harassed BitTorrent Defendant Insists
  
  Why Google Earth - after 25 years
  
  Company backed by James Cameron & Google Are Doing It All
  
  Secret Fears of the NSA’s surveillance state?

Looks like NSA titles are still making it into the headlines.

mrcactu5• 13 years ago

this is cool have you seen snarxiv? http://snarxiv.org/

in the comments the author discusses how he generated convincing titles using context free grammars:

  snarXiv is based on a context free grammar (CFG) — basically a set of rules 
  for computer-generated mad libs... The snarxiv’s grammar is 622 lines long...
  The coolest and most natural thing to do with a CFG is exploit 
  recursiveness as much as possible. The more recursion built in, 
  the less predictable and richer the output.

I am guessing they learned the Context-Free Grammar by reading many abstracts and titles.

jakab922• 13 years ago

Best post ever. :)

eaxbin• 13 years ago

Intel Core 2 Duo Remote Exec Exploit in JavaScript in less than 600 bytes

Scary stuff!

dyadic• 13 years ago

Oh, this is beautiful. Nice work

    Things to Never Say “Click Here”

    DIY Weapons of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. AMA

    Did everybody see what just happened? The pendulum has swung.

    Rootkit on a cube-shaped planet

    So Long and Thanks for your password

nightpool• 13 years ago

You definitely need a way to vote up certain titles. Something like what http://www.mezzacotta.net/ has would make a great addition to the site.

scep12• 13 years ago

My favorite so far:

Hey Google, thanks for making money on the web?

rjknight• 13 years ago

Women, Tech Conferences and the Meaning of Life (2011)

That great forgotten Monty Python movie...

biftek• 13 years ago

What are the odds the 10th result for me was "Learn Python the hard way by Zed Shaw"?

pitchups• 13 years ago

The ones below seem very real and plausible:

Art of Funding a Startup - Bill Watterson, a cartoonist's advice

A better approach to analytics. Just capture everything

Interactive map of Linux kernel infringes on patents. Lawsuit avalanche to follow.

Apparently Yelp has a natural, almost visceral aversion to complexi

Show HN: fontBomb - Stylishly destroy the web as we know it

Google+'s Real Goal is Mars

In China, the rich and powerful can hire body doubles to do damage control

Show HN: Hackershelf. Community curated collection of failed predictions

The Unintended Effects of Reading

cmarschner• 13 years ago

Related (and in part even funnier): SciGen, the scientific paper generator. Have fun :) http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/

mcintyre1994• 13 years ago

"Bitcoin hits $1 billion in shock IPO" :)

CrazedGeek• 13 years ago

"PS4 UX is powered by the Soviet Union's space program?"

almondsays• 13 years ago

This is fun.

  - Instagram says it now has the right to indefinitely detain under NDAA
  - Redditors earning $100k+ a year, secret files show
  - Physicist proposes new way to view IAmA's on Reddit
  - Linux may have been due to bad connection
  - Kim Dotcom: The US recording industry is stealing my ebook

amjd3• 13 years ago

Some more:

- 3px of padding makes all the female developers?

- Postgres on the moon

- Game Over: Zynga Shuts Down 84,000 Websites, ‘By Mistake’

- IBM to Acquire Tumblr

- Firefox Beta 15 supports the possible suspension of U.S.

- Kim Dotcom: The US recording industry is stealing my ebook

samweinberg• 13 years ago

Unintentionally also an HN parody generator.

syswsi• 13 years ago

For those who enjoyed this would probably enjoy this title generator which also aggregates article titles of website such as buzzfeed and TMZ

http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/best

NoodleIncident• 13 years ago

Feds Mistakenly Shut Down on Wednesday to Protest SOPA

The Onion either already uses something like this, or is obligated to start. This is comedic gold!

trusche• 13 years ago

Beautiful. My favourite so far:

"Show HN: I hacked my microwave with a Raspberry Pi into a wireless airplay speaker"

jonrimmer• 13 years ago

'Creator of "Dirty Jobs" Mike Rowe testifies to Congress about the WebKit inspector'

Show HN: Probabilistically Generating HN Post Titles

Related Stories