A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

https://www.nippon.com/en/japan-data/h01362/

by cainxinth • 4 months ago

493 392 4 months ago

nippon.com

dibujaleojos• 4 months ago

Holy cow! I thought there was going to be a list of 8 of them... There's like 40!

Fricken• 4 months ago

And I thought the Inuit had a lot of words for snow.

I wonder how many of these words a typical Japanese person can list off the top of their head.

cthalupa7• 4 months ago

Interesting. Some of these are big deals (particularly the ones mentioned as important) but others I have seen Japanese people in Tokyo do quite consistently. Soroebashi - not on the table, but I've seen chopsticks aligned by pushing them against the plate hundreds of time. I've also seen them used to stir miso soup, etc. plenty.

Others I don't know that I would have much of an inclination to do and haven't seen but am not sure if it's because it really is a faux pas or just because no one else really tends to do it either.

wahnfrieden6• 4 months ago

it's like western etiquette: upper class, fine dining traditional practices are not what you'll see everyday even among polite society. the spectrum of behaviors will also depend on one's company.

fc417fc802• 4 months ago

I assume this must be the case here because I'm familiar with a lot of different etiquette contexts in the US and I have the impression that Japan has far more of that sort of thing than we do. Off the top of my head there are (at minimum) the way we were expected to eat in front of my grandparents, a more "regular" dinner with the extended family, a small gathering at a tex mex joint or chain restaurant or whatever, a fast food joint, and whatever slovenly things I do while sitting on my couch in private.

Anyone from a particularly wealthy family can probably add an additional couple contexts on the high end. Every single one of those situations has slightly different "rules" for what's acceptable.

nvader2• 4 months ago

Yep. Two words:

_grape scissors_

jeffbee• 4 months ago

Yeah? How are you supposed to line up the sticks? And stir the soup? I think the "Mawashibashi" faux pas is to whip the soup like a madman, or to aimlessly swish it, and the translated listicle doesn't convey that.

0x3f6• 4 months ago

You could surreptitiously agitate the soup as you pull out the solid contents.

wahnfrieden6• 4 months ago

Line them up by using your hands. It’s simple…

If you must mix soup, there is a spoon, or you simply bring it to your lips and it will mix as you tilt and sip from it.

frereubu3• 4 months ago

I've seen those too. I was going to say that I've seen people put the bowl to their mouth and shovel food in with chopsticks, but now that I come to think about it that might well actually be from the series Tokyo Diner and Takeshi Kitano films, and may be deliberately uncouth characterisations...

wahnfrieden6• 4 months ago

Bringing the bowl close to your mouth and picking food up from it is proper. Pushing it from the bowl into your mouth is impolite but common.

pndy4• 4 months ago

There's equally complex dining and utensils etiquette in Western culture but it's largely omitted (or even unknown) on daily basis.

chasil• 4 months ago

There is a wiki.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_utensil_etiquette

Edit: The wiki on chopsticks has an etiquette section broken down by country.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chopsticks#Chopstick_customs,_...

laughing_man2• 4 months ago

Yes! Hardly anyone knows it all, and even people who know the basics adjust their behavior based on the situation. Eating out with your high school buddies requires a different level of observance than the dinner at which your girlfriend is introducing you to her parents.

maxerickson4• 4 months ago

That's not really a coherent statement.

If people don't even know it, it's not part of the culture.

econ2• 4 months ago

I use to have a routine with a friend where we paid close attention to the table manners of his wealthy upper class relatives. Then when they did something wrong we would point it out loudly as if it was the end of the world. Best was 3+ mistakes in a row. Bonus points if you can point out the mistake and add something like we are not in Belgium!

cmcaleer2• 4 months ago

I think if you were to do an Osaka version of this, the list would be limited to maybe 4 of these (licking, chopsticks upright in rice, passing between chopsticks, and pointing esp. toward a senior would be taboo).

Whereas when I had a date with a girl from Kyoto, one of the first things that happened when we went to eat was she had to stop me from picking up my chopsticks impolitely and show me the proper way of doing it.

Suffice it to say my Osaka-learned table manners and speech patterns meant there was no second date.

cthalupa7• 4 months ago

It's always wild to me when I hear about how different the culture is between Osaka and Kyoto when they're so close.

Xixi• 4 months ago

I'm not sure I'd put it down entirely to Osaka versus Kyoto. My impression is that these things often have at least as much to do with upbringing, formality, and social background as with region.

I don't know where you're from, so apologies if this is an unfair assumption, but in countries like the US or Australia people often seem less attuned to social class, whereas in places like the UK, France, and indeed Japan, those distinctions can carry more weight, even if they almost always go unspoken.

gregjw• 4 months ago

I live in Osaka (only lived here a year) and it is fascinating the vibe change between Osaka and Kyoto.

derefr3• 4 months ago

I wonder what Ms. Kyoto would tell me to do to properly pick up my chopsticks, given that I’m left-handed, and yet it is apparently a faux pas to lay down the chopsticks pointing to the right.

thaumasiotes9• 4 months ago

Do you know how serious "chopsticks upright in rice" is? I had a Chinese teacher who mentioned the taboo (with regard to China, not Japan), but she also said that while people recognize that it's something you're not supposed to do, it's not taken seriously either.

nssnsjsjsjs2• 4 months ago

Could be the Japanese version of getting a friend to "save them from the date" by calling to pretend it is an emergency.

BrandoElFollito2• 4 months ago

I would say you dodged a bullet.

I dated many foreign girls and it was always fun to discover the cultural differences.

There are similar faux-pas in France but, really, nobody with an ounce of common sense cares. You like your red wine cold as I do? Someone will maybe mention that you will be loosing some aroma znd that's all. You add sugar and ice? This is probably not a drink for you and you will get some laughs but that's all.

I eat my starters after the main meal in the company restaurant, nobody cares.

You are there to have pleasure, this is not West Point

rayiner3• 4 months ago

You also see plenty of americans put their elbows on the table.

RHSeeger• 4 months ago

The original reasons for not putting your elbows on the table (limited space, as well as some others) just don't apply anymore. There's no reason _not_ to put your elbows on the table other than "that's how it's always been done". As such, at least in my opinion, the rule no longer applies.

tmatsuzaki• 4 months ago

I’m Japanese, but honestly, I don’t pay much attention to it. My parents used to get on me about it when I was a kid, but I still do it sometimes.

Gigachad2• 4 months ago

Half of this list feels about as important as remembering the order of spoons on a table. Something that probably meant a lot 100 years ago but is mostly forgotten now.

zdc1• 4 months ago

I assume this is one of those cases where if you're in the culture, you'll know which rules you're allowed to break (and when) vs if you're on the outside it's easiest to just follow all the rules all the time.

Reminds me of an episode on youtube of How The British Upper Class Live | Stacey Dooley Sleeps Over where the presenter eats her eggs "wrong", much to the dismay of her posh host who tells her (in his subtle British way) that she should "sort that out".

hashmal• 4 months ago

I mean... I've consistently seen people chewing with their mouth open, talking while chewing, biting their fork, and so many others, just in occidental places, and it didn't seem to bother anyone but me. so, why would it be different in Japan?

dfxm12• 4 months ago

I see lots of people do things that are commonly written off as rude too. I don't know if there is much of a monoculture around what's rude or not, if people don't care (then is it truly rude?), or maybe the writings like this are simply outdated.

buescher• 4 months ago

I am reminded of the passage in Umberto Eco's _Foucault's Pendulum_ where they reconstruct a particularly wild weekend for a Templar based on the rule of the Templars and the idea that a rule exists because it's something people do.

emursebrian• 4 months ago

Most of these are common sense. As a tourist foreigner, you also aren't expected to know all the customs but it's appreciated when you try. The one about which direction to NOT point the chopsticks in was new to me. If you just watch what other people are doing, then try to do the same thing, you're probably on the right track.

Related to eating, one pro-tip I got from a local is that when you're ready to close your tab or get your check at a bar or restaurant, you can make a small X with your index fingers.

Really useful in a busy bar!

0x3f6• 4 months ago

Most of these are common sense.

A lot of them are not common sense at all. Even the 'serious' ones require cultural knowledge to understand. Only a subset of the rest would be un-ideal across cultures, which is what I would use to measure 'common sense'.

It's like how in some asian cultures it's rude to bring the bowl closer to you by lifting it off the table, and in others it's the opposite. And of course there's some just-so story for why, that seems to make sense if you don't know about the opposing just-so story.

Things like that aren't what I'd call common sense.

morkalork2• 4 months ago

A bunch of the common sense ones, like not pointing at someone with your ustensiles, are the same in western etiquette.

SpecialistK• 4 months ago

The one about which direction to NOT point the chopsticks in was new to me.

I suspect it mostly affects left handed people.

aidenn0• 4 months ago

1. I have seen Japanese people do approximately half of the things on the list.

2. The two listed as "serious" are related to Japanese funerary rites, and so are clearly culturally specific.

3. Several of the things listed are perfectly acceptable in other chopstick-using cultures. Many are also perfectly acceptable to do with a fork and/or knife in cultures that use forks and knives. I think I would go so far as to say that there is not a single thing on there for which it would be widely considered rude to do in all cultures.

rtpg4• 4 months ago

1. I have seen Japanese people do approximately half of the things on the list.

There are people in Japan who are rude or who do not have as good manners or etiquette when they are eating alone!

If everyone followed all manners all the times they wouldn't really be encoded woould they?

bspammer• 4 months ago

Both of the serious ones are not specific to Japan, I got told off in China for standing chopsticks up in rice. I suspect anywhere with a significant Buddhist population will have the same taboo.

humanlity• 4 months ago

The use of incense to remember ancestors was spread widely across Asia by Confucianism. Chopsticks look quite similar to incense sticks, so it makes common sense to have this tradition.

manarth4• 4 months ago

    when you're ready to close your tab, you can make a small X with your index fingers

In the UK, we have the mime of "writing a cheque". I wonder how widespread that is, and if/when it'll fall out of relevance with the following generations who have never seen a cheque-book?

mjamesaustin• 4 months ago

I was shocked to find it's a faux pas to rub disposable chopsticks to remove potential splinters. I was taught this is what you're supposed to do with disposable chopsticks.

WorldPeas• 4 months ago

right? What's the right way? I don't want splinters on the most sensitive surface in my body..

cthalupa7• 4 months ago

The splinters come from where they break apart and there's not really any reason to have that part of the chopsticks touching your skin.

But you move away from break apart disposable chopsticks in Japan long before you get to high etiquette dining. In my experience, basically every restaurant in Japan that isn't of, like, fast food tier, provides actual chopsticks instead of disposable ones.

dmit• 4 months ago

I once witnessed a local admonish another (younger) local for exactly that at a bar. He replied with a bratty "Not my fault they're using crappy chopsticks..."

raised_by_foxes• 4 months ago

It's rude if it's a nice establishment, as it conveys your belief that the chopsticks are of low quality. So that's what you're signaling with that. If everyone already knows they are cheap (e.g. disposable), then have at it.

triceratops2• 4 months ago

If a nice establishment has splintery chopsticks maybe they should look in the mirror.

renewiltord2• 4 months ago

Why don’t they just serve proper chopsticks then instead of break apart ones? Cheapobashi - serving your customers disposable chopsticks when they’re paying for a good experience.

radley• 4 months ago

I agree. I always have to do it, except at the rare restaurants. Not just splinters, but rough edges too.

tanjtanjtanj2• 4 months ago

I ate at a very nice restaurant (think The Menu) in Kagaonsen last week and the main course was served with lacquered chopsticks but another course was served with disposable chopsticks and the waiter actually broke them and rubbed them together for me. I think the social faux pas is making a show of doing it.

fwipsy2• 4 months ago

Perhaps they did that because they knew some people would be too polite to?

AdamN2• 4 months ago

You know you're at a fancy restaurant when the waiters have an entire dish emulating what the poors are eating. Reminds me of a restaurant I used to really like in NYC called 'Peasant' :-/

apparent• 4 months ago

I had a friend from Korea who thought it wasn't necessary/was improper to rub chopsticks together. This wasn't a matter of offending the restaurant, since we were eating in a university cafeteria.

I always rub mine together, but I suppose it would be interesting to know if you didn't, how often would something bad happen? Is it more likely to hurt your mouth or your fingers?

wagwang• 4 months ago

Always interesting to see the analogs of island vs continental culture when comparing UK <-> America and Japan <-> China. Seems like islanders, due to their reliance on trade, naturally get specialized and autistic about their craft so they can have a comparative advantage, and their obsessions carry over into stuffy traditional practices.

dugidugout• 4 months ago

Would you mind sharing your insight? I'd be interested to hear!

0x3f6• 4 months ago

I counter with the American swap-the-fork-hand-after-you-cut thing. Diabolical.

dgxyz• 4 months ago

That’s just mental. Does my head in when I see it.

kibwen3• 4 months ago

As an American, I don't think I have ever seen anyone do this.

bot403• 4 months ago

It's considered polite in American culture.

Sprotch2• 4 months ago

What stuffy traditional practices does the UK have?

fsckboy3• 4 months ago

Always interesting to see the analogs of island vs continental culture when comparing UK <-> America and Japan <-> China.

when America was settled/founded by Britains, etiquette had not been standardized in GB either so the differences are due to parallel development, not island vs continent. That probably holds even more for differences between Japan and China.

bigwheels2• 4 months ago

Fascinating culture and raises numerous questions arising from my subsequent confusion:

1. > 返し箸 Kaeshibashi (also known as 逆さ箸 sakasabashi)

To turn the chopsticks around when serving food so that the tips of the chopsticks that have touched one’s mouth do not touch the food.

Does this mean it is preferable to use the tips that may have touched mouth to then serve more food? Or is this considered fine because it's also taboo to touch the tips to your mouth? (which only a BARBARIAN would do!)

2. > こすり箸 Kosuribashi

To rub waribashi (disposable chopsticks) together to remove splinters.

Just proceed to eat some splinters, then? What is the good etiquette way to handle low quality el-cheapo chopsticks?

---

I have been guilty of the above as well as:

Chigiribashi - Hold one chopstick in each hand and use them like a knife and fork to tear or cut food into smaller pieces.

Soroebashi - Hold chopsticks together and tap them on a dish or the top of the table to align the tips.

Namidabashi - Allow sauce or soup to drip from the tips of the chopsticks when eating. Namida means “tears.”

Nigiribashi - Grip both chopsticks in a fist.

Neburibashi - Lick the chopsticks.

Hashibashi - Place the chopsticks like a bridge across the top of a dish to show one is finished. Chopsticks should be placed on the hashioki (chopstick rest).

Furibashi - Shake off soup, sauce, or small bits of food from the tips of the chopsticks.

Mogibashi - Bite off and eat grains of rice that are stuck to the chopsticks.

Yokobashi - Line the chopsticks up together and use them like a spoon to scoop up food.

.. growing up my mom used to say, "What are you, raised by wolves!?" .. apparently, yes!

vitus• 4 months ago

Kaeshibashi

The preference is to use a separate pair of communal chopsticks that is not used directly for eating.

Kosuribashi

I have heard that this one is because it's considered to be an insult implying that the chopsticks are low-quality. (That said, if your chopsticks are indeed low-quality, then avoiding splinters is probably preferable to then visibly plucking splinters out of your fingers.)

0x3f6• 4 months ago

Just proceed to eat some splinters, then? What is the good etiquette way to handle low quality el-cheapo chopsticks?

Well first of all the chopsticks are joined at the non-eating end, typically. So the splinters would be bothering your fingers more than anything.

It's rude because it insults the host, in a way. Anywhere that would care about you doing it should not be giving you the cheap chopsticks in the first place. If you're in a place that gives you them, they probably don't care about you doing it.

sudo_cowsay2• 4 months ago

There are steel chopsticks (though not really common <-- only in Korea).

wenc• 4 months ago

The disposable wooden chopsticks in Japan don’t splinter (they’re higher quality and cost more than the ones we have in the US).

That’s why you don’t need to rub to get rid of splinters.

reaperducer• 4 months ago

The disposable wooden chopsticks in Japan don’t splinter

If that was always true, there wouldn't be a word for it.

I've been given some pretty gnarly chopsticks at roadside places outside the main metropolitan areas.

refactor_master2• 4 months ago

Well that certainly depends on the establishment. I’ve picked out plenty of splinters here in Japan.

moron4hire2• 4 months ago

I think it's important to point out that these are good manners for eating with Japanese people, not good manners for eating with chopsticks. There is no requirement to emulate Japanese eating manners if you're not in Japan and not anywhere near a person raised in Japanese cultur. There are other cultures that use chopsticks that do not necessarily have these manners.

cthalupa7• 4 months ago

This is definitely true - but some of these are fairly universal, or at least that is my understanding. I believe the 'no sticking chopsticks upright in rice' one is shared between Japan, Korea, China, etc. for example - it looks like funerary incense/joss sticks in all three due to the shared aspects of their cultures, for example.

_spduchamp• 4 months ago

What a coincidence... I was just in my backyard shed playing with my robot chopstick. https://youtu.be/BhBXliscj0I

morkalork2• 4 months ago

Namidabashi and Furibashi seem like a contradiction

frereubu3• 4 months ago

こじ箸 Kojibashi (also known as ほじり箸 hojiribashi)
To use the chopsticks to pick something out from near the bottom of the dish.

I think there must be some bits that are lost in translation for some of these. This makes it sound like you can't eat all of the food in a bowl with your chopsticks.

FartyMcFarter• 4 months ago

Maybe it means that you're digging up food that is under other food?

bigwheels2• 4 months ago

It's like core-ing out the goody bits from an otherwise bland pint of ice cream. Who would ever do such a disgusting and selfish thing? :-0

frereubu3• 4 months ago

Yeah, could be - that's kind of what I mean in terms of being lost in translation. It feels like there's missing information / context in quite a few of them.

Edit: In fact I think you're completely right - "picking out" something near the bottom of the dish does suggest that.

bagacrap2• 4 months ago

Kinda sad for me to know this because one of my favorite things about chopsticks is their precision. I can pick exactly the piece of food I feel like eating in the next moment. This makes it sound like I'm not supposed to be picky.

t-34• 4 months ago

It makes more sense in the context of:

移り箸 Utsuribashi (also known as 渡り箸 wataribashi)
To keep putting the chopsticks into the same side dishes. It is proper etiquette to first eat rice, move on to eat from a side dish, eat rice again, and then eat from a different side dish.

More about politeness to other guests in the context of a shared meal than being picky (and probably also with some similar logic to the TCM theories of how and what to eat, and maybe giving face to the host).

waffletower4• 4 months ago

I lived in Japan for nearly 6 years and found that concern for faux pas such as these for hashi (chopsticks) are way way overblown. I used at least one thousand disposable pairs of chopsticks in Japan and never had the desire to smooth them -- they are higher quality than Panda Express offerings. I knew about this "taboo" prior to arrival and it was simply irrelevant. Avoid the obvious symbolic references to makura gohan (bowl of rice offering to the deceased) at the end of your meal and you are probably golden. If you have kids in Japan, gaijin passing food with chopsticks to their children in a restaurant is going to be seen in a neutral or even sympathetic light. The Japanese may silently judge but they rarely sneer or harass. If you spend a lot of time with modern Japanese families you might be surprised to discover Western stereotypes of Japanese taboos are sometimes outdated and even incorrect. They are very aware that foreigners will not understand all of their customs, and many of those customs have decreasing importance as their culture evolves.

decimalenough2• 4 months ago

Passing food by placing it directly on someone else's plate or bowl is fine. The taboo is specifically about two people holding onto the same thing at the same tine with chopsticks, the way cremated bone fragments are placed into the urn at kotsuage.

Other than that, I agree. It's kind of like trying to apply Emily Post's etiquette to TV dinners: many of these "rules" would be viewed as prissy by Japanese and some (eg. giving your miso soup a swirl with your chopsticks before drinking) are very, very commonly ignored.

fsckboy3• 4 months ago

holding onto the same thing at the same tine

i see what you did there

waffletower4• 4 months ago

Swirling wasabi into tsuyu (zarusoba broth) with chopsticks is an actual custom, it isn't a faux pas. Some of these "rules" are simply wrong.

dekhn• 4 months ago

The main one for me is not putting your chopsticks on top of the bowl rim or putting the chopsticks sticking up from the rice. Those are both intuitive natural actions for me. In the US I rarely see chopstick rests so I'm always wonderting what to do with them when I'm not using them.

AftHurrahWinch• 4 months ago

Phew, I'm glad "inserting them into your nostrils and braying like a walrus" isn't on the list.

ngruhn• 4 months ago

waruburashi

underlipton• 4 months ago

odobashi?

vpribish3• 4 months ago

SNORT

sudo_cowsay2• 4 months ago

sacrilegious lol

minikomi• 4 months ago

I think it's number 9 in the list

mmooss2• 4 months ago

To place one’s mouth against the side of a dish and push food in with the chopsticks.

I've seen people eat noodles and broth (e.g., ramen) like that a million times? What am I missing? How do you properly eat noodles and broth?

waffletower4• 4 months ago

That taboo is simply wrong in many contexts. Watch Tampopo after reading this and it can correct for a lot.

triceratops2• 4 months ago

Slurp the noodles and drink the broth?

decimalenough2• 4 months ago

It's not a taboo, it's just not considered good manners in formal contexts.

But it's fast and efficient, which is why people do it anyway.

mmooss2• 4 months ago

So how does one eat ramen-like dishes in formal contexts?

unsignedint• 4 months ago

The article does a good job calling out the more serious offenses, although I’d personally argue that nigiribashi is just as bad as the other two. Most Japanese people would probably react with a bit of shock to those.

That said, chopstick etiquette is definitely evolving. Something like chobujubashi isn’t enforced as strictly anymore, especially with more awareness around left-handed users. Kaeshibashi, on the other hand, is becoming more common, and in some social circles, not doing it can actually come across as rude.

helterskelter2• 4 months ago

Kaeshibashi, on the other hand, is becoming more common, and in some social circles, not doing it can actually come across as rude.

I was always under the impression this was the polite thing to do.

b0rtb0rt• 4 months ago

i think it depends on the setting, when eating with family at their house they’ve told me not to do it

B1FF_PSUVM2• 4 months ago

That one puzzled me, probably makes sense if there are "serving chopsticks":

"""

Jikabashi

To use one’s own chopsticks instead of serving chopsticks to take food from a large serving dish.

"""

perdomon• 4 months ago

Some of these sound just as made-up as a lot of Western dining "rules." Maybe someone more familiar with the culture can say whether or not these are true faux pas in an everyday ramen shop or similar.

wahnfrieden6• 4 months ago

They’re not fake but some are not followed by everyone outside of formal situations

galangalalgol2• 4 months ago

I always do the splinter thing. I thought that was normal. If the place has disposable chopsticks it isn't the sort of place etiquette matters is it?

nihonde• 4 months ago

No one is going to get mad at you for violating these, but they will judge you. If you're trying to get along with a person from a proper Japanese family, you'll fail unless you know all of these and more. For example, placing bowls/plates on the table too hard, or not trying hard enough to pay the bill, not serving others, pouring your own drink...the list goes on and on. Most people think these things are silly, but some absolutely do not and will treat you accordingly if you're making these mistakes. Whether or not you care is up to you and the situation. This is all also true in almost every other culture, by the way.

hatthew2• 4 months ago

I'm curious for a native's opinion on how important these are. The etiquette I was taught growing up in the US is a mix of:

    - several things that are often quoted as good etiquette but nobody follows (elbows off the table, correct order of dishes)
    - lots of things that are customary but nobody cares if you don't follow it (napkin on lap, placement of silverware)
    - only a few things that actually matter and would be considered rude by normal people (don't touch shared food with used silverware, keep your mouth closed while chewing)

Of these several dozen "rules" for chopsticks, how many actually fall into the last category of things that actually matter?

cthalupa7• 4 months ago

Honestly, I don't even really see 'don't touch shared food with used silverware' followed if a place doesn't provide specific serving utensils.

hatthew2• 4 months ago

Yeah it's a pretty flexible rule, but it's at least something to think about, unlike a lot of other "rules" that you're allowed to completely disregard for your entire life. I probably was too strict in describing that last bullet point.

jwrallie2• 4 months ago

People told me to avoid placing chopsticks upwards in a bowl before I even went to Japan so that is the only one I’d keep in mind.

Given how many of these are clever tricks that I learned from seeing Japanese people eat, like aligning the chopsticks quickly in a plate or cleaning waribashi from splinters by rubbing them together, I’d not take all of these seriously, but it’s cool to know nonetheless.

usagisushi• 4 months ago

Native here. I'd say only about 6 out of the 47 listed actually matter (Awasebashi, Urabashi, Kamibashi, Jikabashi, Tatebashi, and Neburibashi).

Most of these are only for formal settings. Honestly, I haven't even heard of some of them. Aside from Tatebashi (sticking chopsticks in rice), they’re mostly avoided for hygiene reasons. As for Nigiribashi (clutching them in a fist), it just looks a bit strange for an adult to do.

jstanley2• 4 months ago

I also understand that in the US it is the etiquette to cut your food up all at once, and then put the knife down, and then move your fork to your right hand, and then eat all the pieces using just the fork.

midtake• 4 months ago

こすり箸 Kosuribashi
To rub waribashi (disposable chopsticks) together to remove splinters.

Stopped reading there. If you're handing me crappy chopsticks to eat with I am rubbing them together first.

weedhopper• 4 months ago

Exactly, too many times have i heard from some snob not to rub them, who later had to pull a splinter out of their finger.

mijoharas• 4 months ago

For anyone else curious after reading "-bashi" 40 times:

(Not gonna direct quote because the damn site doesn't allow copy-pasting so they don't get a link, paraphrased):

Kirai-bashi would be literally translated to "dislike-chopsticks" and means bad chopstick table-manners. Hashi is chopsticks and bashi is the voiced form of it.

So the bashi suffix/word on the end of all of these just means chopsticks it seems.

refactor_master2• 4 months ago

To add to this, voicing is also a way for Japanese words to become more “coherent”, the same way you write “dislike-chopsticks” as one combined noun, and not “dislike chopsticks”.

adrian_b3• 4 months ago

Someone downvoted this, but the poster is correct, so there was absolutely no reason for downvoting.

Rendaku, i.e. the voicing of the initial consonant, happens in the native Japanese words (i.e. not in the Japanese words of Chinese origin), in most cases when they are a part of a compound word and they are not the initial word. This serves indeed to distinguish a sequence of unrelated words from a compound word.

There are exceptions when rendaku does not happen, but typically whenever a word like hashi becomes a part of a compound word it will be voiced to -bashi.

"H" is a special case among the consonants, because in old Japanese it was pronounced as "p", which is why it is voiced as "b". Later, in initial positions the pronunciation was changed to "f" and even later the pronunciation was changed to "h". The "f" pronunciation has been retained only before "u", like in Fuji. In non initial positions, the original "p" has become later "v" and even later "w".

These pronunciation changes happened after the creation of the hiragana and katakana syllabaries, so they were not reflected in writing. The orthographic reform that was forced after WWII has brought the written form of the words closer to the pronunciation, e.g. by writing consistently "w" where it is pronounced so. Before WWII, many words written now with "-wa-" were still written with "-ha-", a spelling that has been preserved now only in the particle "wa" (like the spelling corresponding to the old pronunciation "wo" has been preserved for the particle "o").

While the Japanese orthographic reform had some positive effects, in simplifying a little the Japanese writing, it also had the effect that for someone who knows only the modern written Japanese it is difficult to read the Japanese books published before WWII, where many different kanji are used and also their hiragana transcriptions are different.

I assume that this was actually an effect intended by the American occupation forces, as a similar policy was applied by the Russians in all the territories of the Soviet Union (except the Baltic countries), where they forced the native populations to change their writing systems to the Cyrillic alphabet, in order to make difficult for the younger generations to read anything dating from before the Russian occupation.

twodave• 4 months ago

Glad to know I haven’t picked up any seriously bad habits, but how the heck do you keep the chopsticks aligned without tapping them somewhere?

Most of these seem related to health/sanitary practices/being considerate more than anything. Just avoiding contaminating what others are going to eat with your own utensils is an easy way to describe several of them.

cthalupa7• 4 months ago

You can just slide them with your fingers, even one handed, and it's not like they need to be perfectly aligned.

But, yeah, I tap them to align them all the time, have seen Japanese people do it day in and day out. I've even done it in some fine dining places in Japan. No one yelled at me, but I am a gaijin, so...

koolba• 4 months ago

移り箸 Utsuribashi (also known as 渡り箸 wataribashi)
To keep putting the chopsticks into the same side dishes. It is proper etiquette to first eat rice, move on to eat from a side dish, eat rice again, and then eat from a different side dish.

So keto itself is a faux pas?

返し箸 Kaeshibashi (also known as 逆さ箸 sakasabashi)
To turn the chopsticks around when serving food so that the tips of the chopsticks that have touched one’s mouth do not touch the food.

Ewww. I’d rather be rude than share germs.

tmathmeyer• 4 months ago

> To turn the chopsticks around when serving food so that the tips of the chopsticks that have touched one’s mouth do not touch the food.
Ewww. I’d rather be rude than share germs.

I think this means you should use something other than your chopsticks to share food, and not just assume that "the back of my chopsticks are germ-free, I'll use that"

wahnfrieden6• 4 months ago

Keto diet doesn’t exist in Japanese cuisine. If you’re going to a keto friendly place, it’s something trendy and contemporary so this traditional advice obviously doesn’t apply. It is not a faux-pas to eat non traditional / non Japanese cuisine.

sneak3• 4 months ago

Keto diet doesn’t exist in western cuisine either. It’s a niche thing in both places, and both places have specific single dishes without carbs.

jwrallie2• 4 months ago

You will quickly learn the first one because if you keep eating the delicious side dishes you will be only left with large amounts of bland rice to eat last.

laughing_man2• 4 months ago

It would be pretty irritating if someone in your dinner party ate the lion's share of the more flavorful food and left the rice for everyone else.

thaumasiotes9• 4 months ago

if you keep eating the delicious side dishes you will be only left with large amounts of bland rice to eat last.

At a Chinese restaurant, you're not given more than a small bowl of rice anyway. There is no way to "be left with large amounts".

grep_name• 4 months ago

I've always thought I'd like to visit Japan someday, but have always been worried about the cultural significance and omnipresence of white rice. Like, I can see how not eating rice would seem boorish (like you only want to eat the more expensive proteins, don't understand the purpose of a palate cleanser, etc), but living with type 1 diabetes I have not eaten white rice in literal years. Every single time I do, I regret it -- it's a complete nightmare to control your blood sugar after, sometimes for the entire rest of the day. I've even wondered if I could find a way to avoid being impolite by deliberately under eating the whole time if I were to visit, to make it clear I'm not just taking the good stuff and leaving the rice out of greed.

e-dant• 4 months ago

Some of these I’ve been told are taboos in the opposite way. For example, the one about serving or taking food from the opposite end of the chopsticks, I was told, is polite. But here they say it is taboo. Maybe they meant it’s taboo not to do that?

sneak3• 4 months ago

Yes, it’s weirdly ambiguous. But even that is performative, as you’re still using an unsanitary part - the part that has touched your hand vs the part that has touched your lips.

jd24• 4 months ago

You do NOT want to use the opposite side of the chopstick. If you use chopsticks correctly, you shouldn't be touching other food you don't intend to take. Also if you are with company that you're close with people care less about you touching the food, but otherwise you'll want to use a serving utensil.

steanne• 4 months ago

is there a word for using them as hairsticks?

fsckboy3• 4 months ago

"kawai"

kazinator• 4 months ago

If they serve me slop with only a few good bits, I'm doing saguribashi.

zippyman55• 4 months ago

I have always wondered when I used the pair of chopsticks to push food on my fork, if there was a name for my type.

rayiner3• 4 months ago

I love how they have words for the different kinds of rule breaking. Truly civilized people.

osti2• 4 months ago

More like oppressed people by all those bs rules.

rayiner3• 4 months ago

The only thing being “oppressed” are people’s animal instincts to be disorderly.

fumeux_fume• 4 months ago

My heart is lightened to learn inserting the chopsticks into your mouth to make walrus fangs is not taboo.

RIMR• 4 months ago

I'm betting Kuwaebashi covers that.

anilakar• 4 months ago

It actually prohibits holding the chopsticks in your mouth. You have a chopstick rest (and workarounds) for that.

Just like the next term on the list does not prohibit eating food on the bottom but rather digging into the bowl instead of eating in top down order.

shermantanktop2• 4 months ago

Don’t go to Chinese food with a drummer. It’s just maddening.

7bit• 4 months ago

It actually is tradition

mmsc• 4 months ago

  こすり箸 Kosuribashi:
 To rub waribashi (disposable chopsticks) together to remove splinters.

I don't know about Japan, but everybody does this in Taiwan.

musicale2• 4 months ago

Sandpaper and dremel aren't on the forbidden list yet.

manarth4• 4 months ago

I don't often bring sandpaper or dremel tools to a restaurant.

Shank• 4 months ago

I don't know about Japan

It is definitely not appropriate. If you break the chop sticks and use them correctly your fingers will never touch the surface where there are splinters.

bitwank• 4 months ago

I always do it under the table; something I instinctively do without ever being told to. Now I wonder if I might have picked up on nonverbal cues at some point in the past. If I were someplace where chopsticks were the norm, I would probably just carry my own as I find the disposable wooden ones very off putting. I have to wonder if there is a rule about using your own chopsticks though.

georgefrowny• 4 months ago

Chobukubashi would make being left-handed decidedly annoying.

musicale2• 4 months ago

On the other hand (so to speak), European style (fork stays in left hand) is great for left-handers.

angry_octet3• 4 months ago

No? Because you use the knife in your dominant hand.

vunderba2• 4 months ago

When I first moved to Taiwan and was just getting a handle on Chinese, I asked a waiter "請給我一個筷子" - not yet being familiar with proper measure words.

The waiter (who had a bit of a sense of humor) brought me exactly ONE chopstick. I laughed and repeated 請給我另一個筷子 (Please give me another chopstick) and he brought out another one.

Of course later my friend told me that I should have used 雙 to indicate I wanted a "pair" of chopsticks.

thaumasiotes9• 4 months ago

Of course later my friend told me that I should have used 雙 to indicate I wanted a "pair" of chopsticks.

That's hard to guess. There are three common measure words meaning "pair"; 副 is for "pairs" that are connected, like a "pair" of scissors in English, but 双 and 对 are basically identical in significance as far as I know.

The waiter (who had a bit of a sense of humor) brought me exactly ONE chopstick.

Slightly unfair, since 一个筷子, beyond being semantically anomalous, is more or less ungrammatical too. If you actually wanted one chopstick, you'd say 一只筷子.

What kind of path did you take that taught you how to say 另一个 before you learned about measure words?

vunderba2• 4 months ago

I think they were just poking a bit of good natured fun at me. Many foreigners new to Chinese just kind of blindly use 個 for everything when they're starting out.

What kind of path did you take that taught you how to say 另一个 before you learned about measure words?

The self-taught kind. :)

Umofomia2• 4 months ago

That's hard to guess. There are three common measure words meaning "pair" [...]
If you actually wanted one chopstick, you'd say 一只筷子.

Traditional Chinese script versions of Simplified 只 and 双 actually make this more apparent, where they would be 隻 and 雙, which are pictograms illustrating one and two birds in a hand, respectively.

rendaw2• 4 months ago

Hashibashi - does this mean it's okay to place the chopsticks across the top if it's not to show you're finished? I heard that was okay as long as you align them not to point at another person (not across the table). If there's no chopstick rest I'm not sure where else you're supposed to put your chopsticks.

Also I'm not sure how you're supposed to eat e.g. fried rice without yokobashi or kakibashi.

Also! I thought kaeshibashi was a good thing. I've definitely seen people do that at parties.

K0balt2• 4 months ago

Yokobashi bros! Fist bump.

ricardobeat• 4 months ago

I think you’re supposed to eat fried rice with a spoon :)

rendaw2• 4 months ago

Right, forgot about that! Although I feel like I've definitely been in situations where there were no spoons (izakaya... maybe)

Arch485• 4 months ago

I'm curious about Hashibashi as well. I've seen lots of Japanese people doing it, and now I'm worried I look like a total poser from copying them.

econ2• 4 months ago

I once see someone's chopsticks taken away from them and replaced with a knife and fork. I've always wondered what they did wrong. Now I see they probably covered half this list. Haha

locusofself• 4 months ago

I did this once and was scolded by my date:

!!! (Serious) To stand chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice. This is taboo, as it is the way rice is presented as a Buddhist funeral offering.

JasonADrury• 4 months ago

It would also be completely inappropriate if you did that with a fork or a knife.

daemonologist• 4 months ago

Did you also play Thrice today? (This was one of the daily questions.)

choonway• 4 months ago

as a lifelong chopstick user, this article is for one of those fault finding crazies.

hold the chopstick however you like. so long as you don’t drop things unintentionally it’s fine.

tempodox• 4 months ago

Highly instructive, and some quite surprising to me as a gaijin.

To take the tips of the chopsticks in one’s mouth.

Sometimes I'm having a hard time avoiding that. Apparently I need more practice.

derefr3• 4 months ago

I think that one refers to doing so when there is no food on the chopsticks. Picture tapping the chopsticks against your lips to show you’re thinking, if conversing while eating. The overarching rule being that you should put the chopsticks down whenever you’re not in the middle of picking up/moving food with them.

(Unless you want to come off as imitating a Rakugo storyteller. If you do, then go ahead and use them as a talking prop. But maybe make it clear that you’re not eating with those ones, so people don’t worry you’ll flick sauce at them!)

nvader2• 4 months ago

To turn the chopsticks around when serving food so that the tips of the chopsticks that have touched one’s mouth do not touch the food.

Huh, this is something that I did consistently, believing it to be good etiquette.

perlgeek• 4 months ago

Somewhere on the page they mentioned that there are separate serving chopsticks. Turning the eating chopsticks around is probably more normal when there aren't separate ones.

tomcam4• 4 months ago

I married an Asian woman I met at work. Our boss called me in to ask if I was serious about marrying her and I said yes. He asked if I wanted any advice and I sincerely answered that I did. Our marriage was necessarily disruptive because it meant that she would also defect. That would cause problems up and down the management chain. His advice was for me to learn how to use chopsticks. that’s it. Nothing else.

I spent months learning how to use them properly in secret and finally deployed my skills when I thought I was pretty good. She didn’t notice. I then realized she almost always used a fork. In high school and college their meals were always served hastily and the students always brought a fork or spoon. they would eat standing up and had maybe five minutes to get the job done. No time for chopsticks.

When her parents came out to visit us after we got married I frantically asked her advice about good chopstick etiquette. I very much did not wish to cause her to lose face. She didn’t give a flying fuck. I honestly think I married one of the freest spirits in Asia, which is not necessarily a compliment.

She said I was doing fine and literally refused to give me any feedback at all, incorrectly claiming she wasn’t even that good. In fact, I think she only started to resume using chopsticks because I ended up finding them useful and now far prefer them to silverware.

I ended up having to learn most of the customs by watching people in restaurants. Just learning how to set them down right took additional months because I noticed far too late that they set their chopsticks down in a sort of V shape which is much harder than one might expect. Also, I am left-handed, but taught myself to do it right handed on the theory of that would also help me not lose face in front of the in-laws. It turns out they are also highly unconventional and probably didn’t care about my chopstick use one way or the other.

When we had kids, I would learn that Asian children who don’t learn to use chopsticks represent another way to lose face. It results in titanic power struggles within the family and makes everyone miserable. It’s a little like forcing kids here in the USA to eat their vegetables. By this time I had learned of her disinterest, so neither of us bothered to teach them. All of our children naturally picked it up with no apparent effort, including one who is very severely developmentally disabled.

alisonatwork2• 4 months ago

I feel like a lot of this is culture and class specific. I can't speak for Japan, but in China there are at least as many different levels of chopstick-using skill as anywhere in the west. Kids and elderly who can't pick up a peanut or a cherry tomato, people who find it entirely unproblematic to stab a slippery dumpling, people who think it's stupid to waste time trying to get fried rice into your mouth with chopsticks and just grab a spoon instead, people who dredge their way through the hotpot to find the treat they're looking for...

I often get the sense that foreigners getting stressed about (or feeling pride in) how well they use chopsticks is a weird kind of orientalism. Because, like, who cares if someone shows up in a western restaurant and uses a spoon instead of knife to saw through something, or grabs a big hunk with a fork and takes a bite, leaving the rest on the fork? Maybe you wouldn't do it if you were having dinner with the queen, but any other context nobody cares. I'm sure parents still try to teach their kids to eat polite way, and maybe even feel a bit embarrassed if their kids show themselves to be less well-behaved than the neighbors', but that's a universal thing so, eh.

tomcam4• 4 months ago

lol describing me as an Orientalist will amuse my family to no end but you made some cogent observations. All I can say is: face is a big thing in China. I respect my in-laws hugely. I did not want them to lose face nor to be made to feel uncomfortable on my behalf if I could help it. As far as I can tell Orientalism and pride had nothing to do with it. Or maybe you’re right and I am a deeply closeted chiaboo. I’ll watch some anime or whatever and get right back to you.

zeristor2• 4 months ago

This raises the question of what are the funeral rites.

They piece through the ashes of a cremation and pass them between each other?

I know the modern style of conveyor belt cremation is a bit impersonal.

It’ll take me a while to process this.

globular-toast• 4 months ago

My partner and I share everything we eat. I think we have passed food between chopsticks before. What's the "proper" way to do this? Just reach in to the other bowl?

Also wondering how many of these apply in a Chinese setting or any other chopstick culture. Are there a different set of taboos?

yubblegum• 4 months ago

nssnsjsjsjs2• 4 months ago

Couple of funeral related ones, couple of odd customs, and the rest are "imagine what an overbearing parent would say to their 6 yo using chopsticks"

commanderj• 4 months ago

Would it not have been easier to just write down what is actually "allowed" :D

zkmon• 4 months ago

Kuwaebashi - To take the tips of the chopsticks in one’s mouth.

Does it mean without food?

anonu• 4 months ago

This would make a great poster to give to our local sushi bar chef/friend.

edit: Gemini makes great infographics https://imgur.com/a/V2D9VlM

Hasnep2• 4 months ago

Except a bunch of those diagrams are showing the wrong thing, but yeah, other than that it's good.

kristianc• 4 months ago

Yeah, definitely not the "straight in" one...

october8140• 4 months ago

This is why Japan is not having kids. They are more worried about rules to make everyone’s life miserable.

Hasnep2• 4 months ago

Sure, and American table manners are the cause of rising fascism, there's a whole Wikipedia article on all their rules. [1] They're more worried about elbows on the table than the increase in authoritarianism.

See, I can make up dumb shit too.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Table_manners_in_North_America

renewiltord2• 4 months ago

Both of you are now eligible for sociology PhDs. Congratulations, doctors, on having defended your theses.

mark_l_watson• 4 months ago

Fairly much common sense advice, with some cultural taboos like resting chopsticks pointing to the right.

I have always been a little embarrassed by my own use of chopsticks. When I was three or four years old a waitress in a Chinese restaurant helped me figure out a way to hold them that worked for me. Long story short, I am in my 70s and I have very effectively been getting food efficiently into my mouth with chopsticks my whole life - with horrible style.

ghaff4• 4 months ago

The chopstick against the knuckle doesn’t work for me I use the fingertip.

K0balt2• 4 months ago

I am a yokobashi offender.

How rude is it? When the food is not well prepared for chopsticks it’s really useful. But I do see why it’s rude, because it does imply that the food is not quite right. The Chinese restaurants in my country seem to have a problem making properly sticky rice.

bagacrap2• 4 months ago

Does it bother anyone else when people use their teeth to scrape food off a metal utensil (rather than lips, or teeth to food)? I wish English had a specific word for that affront.

cake-rusk• 4 months ago

Cringe?

bakies• 4 months ago

Biting a fork is a huge pet peeve of mine.

PyWoody• 4 months ago

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets annoyed by this.

I was once at a table with someone who was eating tomato soup by putting the spoon into their mouth, bitting it, and then pulling the spoon out. I was losing my mind listening to it.

Dip, ting, dip, ting. Dip, OUCH!.

They chipped their tooth. They chipped a tooth eating tomato soup.

lijok• 4 months ago

Are these real or nonsensical ones like crossing the fork and knife on your plate means you didn’t enjoy it

rdiddly• 4 months ago

OK, I was probably never going to visit Japan, and this convinced me the rest of the way.

RestartKernel• 4 months ago

That's like avoiding the West because of fancy cutlery rules. Japanese people are not as thin-skinned as lists like these lead you to believe.

falsemyrmidon• 4 months ago

The two about death are the only ones that matter. You also get a huge pass on a lot of social expectations for being a foreigner, especially if you make even a small attempt to conform and be polite.

untrust• 4 months ago

Technically in the USA: It is impolite to begin eating without first washing your hands, rest your elbows on the table, chew with your mouth open, double dip in shared dishes, leave your napkin on the table, and also all sorts of rules about which spoon to use when. None of these rules are followed by your average American and nobody really cares, I imagine it's similar to these.

bigstrat20032• 4 months ago

I would certainly hope most people are not double dipping in shared dishes. That shit is gross, yo.

xandrius4• 4 months ago

And that's totally fine :)

canjobear• 4 months ago

The fact that this was originally written in Japanese suggests that most Japanese people don't already know this list.

angry_octet3• 4 months ago

It really doesn't. Listicles are as common in Japan as elsewhere.

failrate• 4 months ago

Some of these are considered rude, but ibd I do a lot of them, anyway e.g. rubbing disposable chopsticks to remove splinters, because a chopstick splinter in the gums is miserable, and using chopsticks to cut apart food. They seem less like faux pas and more like strategies. Plus, not Japanese.

lacoolj• 4 months ago

So it's the age of AI. And this seems like a great new benchmark! Lots of text, structured but each item a separate "task". Each thing requiring its own new image + textual representation.

I copy + pasted the whole article (minus the few included images) and added this prompt in Gemini 3 Pro:

Take each of the following and add an image representing the act being described. The image should be very basic. Think of signs in buildings - exit signs, bathroom door signs, no smoking signs, etc. That style of simplicity. Just simple, flat, elegant vector graphic lines for the chopsticks, hands, bowls, etc.

Google Gemini output: https://gemini.google.com/share/11df1bc53e3d

I think this is pretty dang good for a one-shot run. I also ran this through Claude Opus 4.6 Extended (doesn't generate images directly, so it made an HTML page and some vector icons). Not as good as Gemini IMO. See here if curious: https://claude.ai/public/artifacts/8b6589b3-4da4-4fd5-b862-c...

Anyone able to do this better with a different prompt or model (or both)?

xandrius4• 4 months ago

Nice that you discovered LLM, welcome.

But next time, keep your findings for a thread related to the topic of LLM wonders, not when it's unrelated, such as chopsticks.

kwar13• 4 months ago

押し込み箸 Oshikomibashi (also known as 込み箸 komibashi) To use the chopsticks to push food deep inside one’s mouth.

That made me chuckle

xandrius4• 4 months ago

Sheeet, seen quite a few people do it (not sure if Japanese or another culture) and just ingrained it as proper (just like slurping is in Japan). Gotta rethink that, lol.

eloisant• 4 months ago

There are only 2 that really matter, those marked with "serious" because they remind of funeral rites (passing food from chopsticks to chopsticks or sticking them in rice).

Japanese people will tell you about those because they really don't like seeing people do it.

The rest, well, don't worry about it.

gwbas1c• 4 months ago

Most of those faux pas come across as neurotic, like complaining about people who park too close to the lines, or complaining about someone farting in church.

Seems like someone could make a sketch comedy skit where someone does these faux pas, and most people don't notice except the one person who has a perpetual wedgie.

jagged-chisel• 4 months ago

To raise the tips of the chopsticks higher than the back of one’s hand.

Not doing this is just going to be awkward. I have food between the chopsticks, and I'm rotating my hand to place the food in my mouth and the tips will become higher than the back of my hand. Otherwise will commit agebashi.

austinjp• 4 months ago

Well, how about you lower your head below your hand and twist your neck to bring your mouth level with the chopsticks?

A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

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