Why aren’t you more serious?

https://rubenerd.com/why-arent-you-more-serious/

by luu • 6 years ago

123 88 6 years ago

some_furry6• 6 years ago

They claim that my writing is too jovial, my site mascot drawn by Clara is inappropriate,

I get a lot of similar feedback for using art of my fursona in my blog posts (i.e. for the purpose of added emotional inflection).

The feedback was sufficient enough to warrant a dedicated response post: https://soatok.blog/2020/07/09/a-word-on-anti-furry-sentimen...

Personally, I find the rubenerd site mascot to be tasteful. The shades of green and blue complement each other well, and the skirt's length isn't risque enough to raise my eyebrows. (But then again, I'm not exactly a prude.)

jbob20004• 6 years ago

Put yourself in the shoes of someone who wants to send these articles to their manager to support an idea/project of theirs. It absolutely detracts from the professionalism of the post.

Any joe-schmo can string together smart sounding words. You need to signal to me that I need to take these words seriously, and when you mix in your otherworldly passions, I can’t take them seriously, it’s too unfamiliar to me.

Aside from that, what it is about the anime and furry culture that pushes its participants to include it in everything? Every once in a while, I see a post on the cringe subreddit of some young man who has peppered anime and fursonas all throughout a school presentation. What is driving the need to include this in everything?

some_furry6• 6 years ago

Put yourself in the shoes of someone who wants to send these articles to their manager to support an idea/project of theirs. It absolutely detracts from the professionalism of the post.

I, as a hobbyist who blogs about things in my spare time for my own amusement, owe no obligation to random people's managers.

In 99.9999% of cases, that also includes my own manager at my place of work. (And even then, my only obligation is to not talk about things that aren't meant to be discussed publicly.)

Every once in a while, I see a post on the cringe subreddit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePnrEolRopU

What is driving the need to include this in everything?

I've answered this on my about page.

https://soatok.blog/about/

filoleg3• 6 years ago

What is driving the need to include this in everything?

This is just an armchair psychology theory, but I feel like it is just the need for social validation in the absence of it, as well as an attempt to prove that their interests/passions that are considered to be for "weird" or childish people can belong to "normal" adult people too. Hence why they never forget to remind people at any point in a regular discussion about that interest, as if it is a regular everyday thing that a lot of people are into.

And in the meantime, it is also sort of an interest/passion that isn't about an activity (very unlike most other interests/passions), but rather about being a different entity as a person, which makes it more difficult to detach yourself from that interest, as it literally is solely about being another form of yourself.

Overall, I agree with your sentiment however. Having furry content in a technical blog post would essentially prevent me from sharing it with my teammates, no matter how good the actual technical content of that post is.

munificent3• 6 years ago

Put yourself in the shoes of someone who wants to send these articles to their manager to support an idea/project of theirs.

That is, frankly, your problem and not the author's. The author has already taken the time to distill their knowledge into text, put it online, and allowed you free access to it.

It absolutely detracts from the professionalism of the post.

From the author's perspective that may be a feature not a bug. Maybe they don't want to come across as professional. It's their writing and their little corner of the Internet. They can create as they please.

You need to signal to me that I need to take these words seriously

No, they need do no such thing. If you want to extract value from what they've already taken the time to create and share, it's up to you to figure out how.

You're a grown-up. If you can't figure out whether text is enriching and useful to you or not without it being presented with just the right imagery, color, and font, that's on you.

and when you mix in your otherworldly passions, I can’t take them seriously, it’s too unfamiliar to me.

This is a good sentence. Here you are correctly articulating that it is you who is having trouble assimilating the content they've shared. That's your choice. They have the freedom to put it out there and you have the freedom to ignore it if it's not to your taste. Everyone can do what they choose and everyone wins, for their own personal definition of "win".

Aside from that, what it is about the anime and furry culture that pushes its participants to include it in everything? Every once in a while, I see a post on the cringe subreddit of some young man who has peppered anime and fursonas all throughout a school presentation. What is driving the need to include this in everything?

It's an important part of their identity and one that has fairly broad negative connotations. They rationally want to normalize it so that they can be their best fully-actualized self without having to deal with shame or criticism like your comment here.

GoblinSlayer3• 6 years ago

I understand, wrong thought undermines conformism. Though I don't find idea sharing to be a problem, I just speak from myself, I don't get knowledge from one source and a manager won't read a wall of technical text anyway.

nkingsy• 6 years ago

So many comments. Just wanted to say, never seen furry stuff before and found the art on the linked page quite pleasant. I’m flabbergasted that this is some kind of issue for anyone. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. I for one found my furiousity piqued by the imagery.

pmiller25• 6 years ago

I think most of the issue comes from the fact that there is such a thing as a "furry fetish." In fact, if you have "showdead" on, you'll see a couple of comments referring to furries as "degenerates," which I think comes from this association. I, for one, find the blue and white fox to be pretty amusing, kind of like the "this is fine" dog.

a_t484• 6 years ago

The best part is, them protesting against the furry stuff has brought it more to everyone's attention. They've written paragraphs and paragraphs on this thread alone, which sort of draws the eye. I love the Streisand effect.

el_don_almighty• 6 years ago

I'm 53 and still laugh at fart jokes, let the dog lick my face, and wear shirts with collars as "office camouflage" only when necessary. I am way ahead of you on the timeline and will let you know when it's time to grow up.

Media publishing is about having a target market and not worrying about the segments you don't hit. Late night comedians don't worry about not having Rush Limbaugh listeners in their demographic and vice versa.

As you rightly say, your blog posts are part therapy and part knowledge transfer. That doesn't mean the "technical publishing" meta-tag doesn't also reasonably apply and brings a segment of readers with certain expectations.

I really appreciate that you opened the curtain a bit on their concerns and your disdain for them.

They aren't your customers and never will be

Saddle up the unicorn and keep riding

microcolonel• 6 years ago

Late night comedians don't worry about not having Rush Limbaugh listeners in their demographic and vice versa.

I mean, the lefty late-nights may not be hitting that market right now, but that doesn't mean that a competent one couldn't hit it without compromising the model.

pmiller25• 6 years ago

The day I stop laughing at fart jokes, enjoying doggie kisses, and start dressing like a standard-issue, business casual office drone, I hope someone hauls me off to a doctor to get checked out.

snaglecratch• 6 years ago

Amen! If loving those things is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

nowandlater• 6 years ago

Serious question: Is Shatner being serious here? https://youtu.be/lul-Y8vSr0I?t=20

dctoedt• 6 years ago

A gawdawful hairpiece ....

Tomminn• 6 years ago

He later did an entire album called "Has Been" in this style, so I suspect so. Here's a taste:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ainyK6fXku0

I know this because Ben Folds had a hand in it, and I'm a long-time Ben Folds fan.

Lewton• 6 years ago

What? Has Been is 1. Great and 2. definitely not in the style of his rocketman cover

After the success of Has Been, he did go back to the corny covers style of making music though

There's literally only one cover song on Has Been, so it seems really weird to put the album in the same category

quicklime• 6 years ago

If you're browsing the site on a mobile phone like I was, you probably won't see the image of the mascot on the right-hand-side. Even if you click the "mascot" link, you'll just go to a text description of it.

The image is here: https://rubenerd.com/rubi@1x.jpg

pmiller25• 6 years ago

Speaking of the mascot, I admit I was a little put off by Rubi (that's her name!) at first. But, upon further review, she's just a normal schoolgirl-looking character with mismatched socks, drawn in an anime style. She's totally SFW, so, I can only guess my negative association was initially driven by "anime girl" stereotypes. She doesn't turn me off from wanting to read any more of the author's posts, provided they have something on a topic I'm interested in.

hitekker• 6 years ago

Hey that’s a cute drawing

rubenerd9• 6 years ago

Aw thanks, I'll let my partner know :).

Igelau• 6 years ago

That was so confusing for me. I got worried that he must have pulled the shockingly inappropriate mascot.

It's the socks. Those mismatched socks are clearly triggering the kinds of people who serially straighten out picture frames.

_zzaw• 6 years ago

Anybody who takes the time to email a blog author and shriek about the (very modest) anime girl they have on their website clearly has problems.

I'm starting to worry a little about the number of "people exist who do that??" moments I've had lately.

a_t484• 6 years ago

To both rubenerd and some_furry - keep doing what you're doing. You write articles for your own enjoyment and your own communities. As you probably realize - you have no obligation to cater to anyone but yourself. :)

tayo42• 6 years ago

I really wish we didn't put so much pressure to be professional and serious all the time. Working takes up 1/3 of my life currently and I can't actually be my self. Another third is sleeping. So for only 1/3 of my time I can actually act like my self. I hate that there is a pressure to talk a certain, act a certain way, express my self a certain way. I think we really need more of a emphasis on being human, less "circle back" and "work streams", more jokes, more smiling and experimenting.

hinkley• 6 years ago

inclusion of posts about cooking garlic are a waste of time and somehow detract from my serious technical and political posts.

I know people who would say that everything could use more garlic. I suspect that would also extend to blogs.

pmiller25• 6 years ago

I generally take the amount of garlic in any given recipe to be a suggestion. I find that, most of the time, doubling the garlic makes a much more flavorful dish.

ClikeX• 6 years ago

If my neighbors can't smell I ate garlic last week, it's not enough garlic.

082349872349872• 6 years ago

Personal blog posts are like garlic: they keep away the undead?

stanislavb2• 6 years ago

I still can't understand why he'd write about cooking garlic! ~

rubenerd9• 6 years ago

I'm the author of the post. Sincerely appreciate all the words here, this legit made my morning.

I wonder if part of this has to do with fewer people writing in their own space anymore. Most people post in sanitised UIs of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. So seeing a personal page is confronting, unless it's a vanilla theme. Not sure. Either way, I'd love to see more people maintain personal blogs again. And with RSS! Maybe we need to resurrect something like Technorati.

Cheers :)

detaro5• 6 years ago

"Sanitized" Twitter certainly has that conflict too - and its relatively accepted there that no, people don't just post about one thing if they don't want to, while at the same time some people do complain about it.

rubenerd9• 6 years ago

I was thinking more in terms of the UI/decorations, but this is a fair point. It's curious people don't complain that I talk about trains/coffee/anime among my FreeBSD and OpenZFS tweets. Maybe it is about expectations.

stanislavb2• 6 years ago

Hey mate, great post! I think that there's a slight renaissance in regards to blogging and personal websites. Of course, I could be biased as I "resurrected" mine two weeks ago :).

I will be building a new RSS reader/platform soonish. I will definitely think on the topic of resurrecting Technorati.

ant6n• 6 years ago

Maybe people don’t read much content on blogs with rss these days.

rubenerd9• 6 years ago

That's unfortunately true. Remember when Twitter et.al. used to support RSS? Social networks had a vested interest in removing it, because it means you don't need to go to their pages. It's up to all of us to bring it back.

ratww• 6 years ago

You have a very nice website. some_furry's is great too.

This is the kind of thing I miss from the web of the 90s and early 2000s. A vocal minority might complain that it doesn't look like Medium with the useless hero image of a laptop in a desk, the 45 trackers and analytics and paywall, but I silently enjoy both the content and the personality, so thank you both.

Might be the culture I live in or I'm getting old and stopping to care, but I frankly wouldn't have a problem putting this as a reference link in some internal documentation or in Slack. We have a Manga Guide to Databases in our work library since forever, so maybe the mascot is fitting. A furry-themed blog would fit too, of course, as we have a few O'Reilly books (but none with a wolf unfortunately). Jokes aside, I find the mascots of both sites tasteful and nicely drawn, btw.

rubenerd9• 6 years ago

Thanks, that really means a lot :). I agree, we definitely lost something special after the early 2000s. We got standards compliance and rid ourselves of IE which is awesome, but I think we lost a part of the web's soul in the process.

I've been preoccupied lately with how we can encourage more people to blog again. I think everyone has something interesting to say, and shouldn't be constrained by what a specific social network permits (technically, or with content).

megameter• 6 years ago

I think it's precipitated by the shift of the Web from an early-adopters world that is mostly exploring the idea of being online, to one where the property-ownership ladder has taken precedence.

The idea of being a "serious professional" is entangled in that of "the personal brand" and thus in your identity being your property. But it's not just that: it's also that this property has some assumed virtuous pattern of development(in the sense of Aristotle), and something that is not that pattern is incorrect, and possibly threatening because it disrupts their preconceptions of what is right - and it's always a preconceived thing, young kids aren't afflicted by this. They'd like to take the content - because it's valuable - while protecting those beliefs, so an urge rises to lash out, dismiss everything, give "helpful hints" about what to do better, or call it degenerate, because changing a belief is hard within oneself.

1MachineElf• 6 years ago

What you're saying here makes sense to me, except the part about kids. It's typically kids I see going back and fourth with "No, mine's better... No no no, mine's better-er! Yours is dumb..." The ability to accept differences is something I observe more often in the mature & wise.

xupybd• 6 years ago

Why not run ads?

Not trying to say you should just interested in your motivation :)

rubenerd9• 6 years ago

It's a reasonable question. I'm not against advertising per se, but thesedays it comes with a lot of tracking and JavaScript baggage that I don't want. My blog also isn't there to make money, it pays for itself by being something relaxing and useful (for me) to write.

teraku• 6 years ago

Defs +1 for personal blogs and RSS feeds. That way you can add them to personalised webrings as well using something like openring.

Alex39173• 6 years ago

Either way, I'd love to see more people maintain personal blogs again.

The basic problem is that in terms of foregone consulting hours, writing a personal blog and hosting it using custom software is roughly the equivalent of purchasing and then purposely totaling several Teslas per year.

dhagz• 6 years ago

I'm not sure that's entirely true.

Things you need to run a blog:

1. Server, preferably secure. This can be set up in an afternoon, maybe on a Saturday or Sunday. You can also probably find Ansible or Chef scripts to automate the provisioning.

2. A directory on the server to hold website content - time to set up is dependent on latency to your server, but is essentially instant.

3. A web server set up to serve content in said directory - probably an hour or two to get a reasonably simple setup.

4. Probably an SSL cert - can be automated with Let's Encrypt, including making your server aware of the cert. Initial setup, maybe another hour.

5. Something to make the content. I like Hugo, but there's lots of other static site generators. Choose a pre-made theme that is the least objectionable to you. It might take another afternoon to get this all set up between browsing themes and writing some seed content.

6. Something to get the content to your server (or you can just keep the whole setup on the server!). I use rsync to deploy a build whenever I commit to the Git repo holding my blog.

Nice to haves:

1. A domain name. It makes your website easier to find, and people are more likely to remember that over an IP address. This will be about a half hour to an hour to set up depending on how shitty your registrar is.

All in all, I spend $5 a month running the server that hosts my blog. I maintain it and built it during hours when I wouldn't have been paid or worked anyways. So I'm out $60. Everything else is free (mostly as in beer, but some is also as in the other kind of free).

munificent3• 6 years ago

That applies equally well to many other activities. Think how many potential consulting hours squandered when you were instead wasting time traveling the world, falling in love, tending a garden, raising children, cooking meals for friends, writing your memoir, dying after a long, satisfying life.

munificent3• 6 years ago

I wonder if part of this has to do with fewer people writing in their own space anymore.

It's not just the blogosphere. This trend is everywhere. People don't just post vacation photos for friends, they try to become influencers. They don't throw parties, they try to be come DJs, they don't hack on little open source projects, they try to start passive income lifestyle businesses.

Everything's a hustle, everything's for money.

I don't know if this is born out of economic necessity because the middle class is hollowing out, or more just culture shifting to equate "success" with "rich". But it seems like fewer and fewer things are just... fun... anymore. It's always gotta be for something.

Tade02• 6 years ago

Shamefully I have to admit that I originally created my blog because I thought it would help my career.

But posts like this one here show me that it was cargo culting from the get go.

I have much to say, but to date dismissed most of it, because (oh the irony) I thought I shouldn't make this personal space of mine too personal.

rubenerd9• 6 years ago

That struggle is real, especially when grappling with imposter syndrome or a shy personality too. Half the reason I love reading personal blogs is seeing the author's personality.

An old boss of mine said you can't truly fake enthusiasm. That's stuck with me since.

Tade02• 6 years ago

I just went over my most recent post and the overwhelming feeling is... embarrassment? Stage fright? Cringe?

Do you ever get back to any of your old posts and think "wow, this is just bad"?

I mean, I envy you for being able to just own all this, complete with the blog mascot, which to me is the ultimate power move here.

How does one obtain this power?

detaro5• 6 years ago

It's also totally valid to separate different aspects if that's what you are more comfortable with (e.g. have two distinct feeds). That's the nice thing about your own blog, you get to make those decisions as you prefer.

k__• 6 years ago

"I originally created my blog because I thought it would help my career."

I did too and it worked very well.

AaronNewcomer2• 6 years ago

In some ways I feel like I have the opposite problem. I like to occasionally write tech related articles but my blog mainly features information related to my hobby and that’s what most people follow my blog for. Now I feel weird if I want to post a tech related article because everyone will get notifications for it when they’re expecting hobby related posts

rubenerd9• 6 years ago

I struggled with this too. I used to have separate blogs for different interests (especially anime, for fear of judgement, some of which has since come true in some of the comments below!) Eventually I merged them back to save on maintenance, and I'm glad I did.

People should expect that a personal site necessarily has your interests. I don't think it'd be weird at all for you to post tech-related content. And you never know, there might be an intersection with your exiting readers you didn't know about.

duckmysick• 6 years ago

How are the notifications handeled? If it's by RSS, you could set up an RSS feed for just your hobby posts, which I imagine have a separate tag.

some_furry6• 6 years ago

Tired: RSS

Wired: ActivityPub

AaronNewcomer2• 6 years ago

Email through jetpack plugin on a Wordpress blog. I have actually thought about looking into suppressing certain things but I am not sure there are many options for this plugin. I could create a different post type maybe as this only sends out updates on regular blog posts.

nartz• 6 years ago

Rock on - so true - the web used to be a safe place to express oneself; now, saying the wrong thing results in hundreds of negative comments and F/J-finger wagging.

It would be great to get back to more individualism on the web.

cik• 6 years ago

I've never understood the need to be an ongoing drone. Is this really the sort of thing people want in life, or is it from some notion of work makes the person? Some days I love what I do, most days I like what I do, occasionally I hate what I do. In none of those days do I define myself by what I do.

Good on you for writing what you want to. If someone wants to focus purely on a single subject that's great FOR THEM. Personally, I'm rather saddened by the fact that I keep starting and stopping blogs for decades; I'm also thrilled to see someone who has kept one up for 15 years. Great stuff!

KaiserPro• 6 years ago

ahh yes be more "serious"

I wrote a collection of posts about a political event a few years ago. They were aimed a politically naive posh young professionals.

The posts were sweary, crude, but crucially written in my _own_ style.

The actual subject was very serious.

when they were widely shared on facebook (~37k impressions of 2 minutes or longer) I was amused by the "Oh I do wish they wouldn't swear" or "why are they making dick/vag jokes"

They couldn't seem to grasp that if I'd have written in in a dry, clean style, not only would they have not read it, but they wouldn't have understood my point.

Humour, irreverence and swearing are all tools to convey a meaning, point or story. Used well (I am fully willing to admit that I have not been masterful in my use) they can create a mental image far stronger than any other metaphor.

So I commend your post, you dick. <3

combatentropy• 6 years ago

I am shocked and dismayed that people are emailing you because your blog is too fun and diverse.

It reminds me of my wish for anyone who is even semipopular on the internet, whether it be through a blog, Youtube channel, etc. I wish for them to ignore the comments. Log into your email, select all, and delete. That might be healthier, not just for you but for the world, because you would not be dragged down by their negativity.

I wish that you and others could remember that it takes a certain kind of person even to begin writing an email to a stranger with a blog. They are likely neurotic, https://web.archive.org/web/20170430010047/https://www.truth...

I am surprised by what people say in the comments sections of various websites. But I am equally surprised when I see the author take them seriously and give them the dignity of a reply. Or a Youtuber who seems like a healhty happy intelligent person with interesting content start to talk about some of the crazy things people have been saying in the comments. "Why are you even listening to those people?" I think. But I try to remember that I myself would probably be tempted to wonder if they're right or to start replying --- and get ensnared.

Why aren’t you more serious?

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