Coming Out as a Porn Addict

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/06/coming-out-as-a-porn-addict/277106/

by jseliger • 13 years ago

158 144 13 years ago

theatlantic.com

angersock• 13 years ago

Interesting bit from the article:

"The height of my porn watching was my adolescence -- high school -- when each relationship felt like a splintering slat on a long rickety bridge. Porn didn't just serve as an outlet for my sexual frustration; it was a steadying beam to fall back on."

I wonder for how many men this is true.

It's interesting also to see this juxtaposed with the "All men are rapists" meme--one wonders if the absence of open affection, sexuality, and broken standards is promoting this sort of behavior and in turn perhaps causing the very thing that many authors claim to be afraid of.

hedonist6• 13 years ago

It's also not necessarily such a bad thing -- i.e. using porn (or alcohol, pot, or anti-depressants; or over-eating, or compulsive shopping) to get through the rough spots in one's dating cycle.

Mind you, I'm not saying it's a good thing, or that it's without its downsides.

I just mean we should look at these things in perspective: if our dating culture (with all the head games) is so broken that some people have to go through years and years of phases where they just can't find a relationship that's both gratifying and sustainable over any length of time -- and btw this includes many people I know, even some very attractive people with plenty of sexual options on the table -- then maybe we should start talking about that, and how people can learn to do better for themselves (and their potential mates).

And not so much about the rather crude (if temporarily effective) medicines some people feel forced to use to get them through the darker stretches of depression and anxiety that they can't seem to help falling into, again and again. As a reward, it would would seem, of just wanting to find someone they can love, and be loved by in return.

PS, re: anti-depressants -- having worked in the pharma industry for a while, I'd recommend healthy, sex-positive, consensual amateur porn over these insidious, soul-numbing and possibly long-term toxic concoctions they market as "cures" to well, more or less the basic human condition, any day.

sebcat2• 13 years ago

Porn addict, food addict.

I don't think negative habitual behavior equals addiction.

Not to marginalize people who has problem with porn or food habits, but poor self-control and bad habits does not equal addiction in my book. I'm probably wrong definition wise, but I think this stance trivializes real addiction.

I mean, yes, dopamine and all that. Reward of negative behavior. But you make your own decisions in life. You're not an insect, you're a conscious human being.

nsxwolf• 13 years ago

How do you feel about "nicotine addict"?

antidaily• 13 years ago

Nicotine is as addictive as heroin. Doubt you get physically ill trying to kick porn.

pavs• 13 years ago

Are you saying that people who are addicted are not conscious of their problem?

Most of the time, getting out of addiction takes more than your run-off-the-mill consciousness and self-control.

sebcat2• 13 years ago

No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying this article trivializes what I consider to be real addiction.

gfosco• 13 years ago

A little self-control goes a long way, and the words we use with ourselves are very important. We create our own narrative, and unfortunately a lot of people are oblivious to this. Hold yourself to a higher standard, and you can do a lot more than you think.

jerf• 13 years ago

Arguing definitions isn't very profitable. Addiction is a continuum, and where lines get drawn vary depending on purpose. There's no One True Definition of addiction because there's no One True Purpose for using the term.

leephillips3• 13 years ago

"There's no One True Definition of addiction"

I was under the impression that the definition used traditionally in medicine is that denial of the addictive substance results in physiological withdrawal symptoms; hence caffeine and heroin are addictive, but cocaine is not. [Edit: wrong about cocaine.]

leephillips3• 13 years ago

"But you make your own decisions in life. You're not an insect, you're a conscious human being."

Do you regard the human brain as belonging to the physical universe, or somehow apart from it? If the former, where and what is the "you" that is making the decision?

msg• 13 years ago

Obviously there is a can of worms here.

Can I just suggest that if you are not a conscious human being who makes choices, but instead, like a billiard ball, are whacked around by the myriad balls and cues you encounter in your meaningless existence, with thoughts caused by minds caused by brains caused by effects chaining back forever...

then being swayed by one more argument or not makes zero impact on your status. You remain a mere effect of your circumstances.

If you want to pretend to take part in a rational discourse, you should also pretend to be a conscious human being to whom discourse makes a difference and reasons can be better or worse as they conform to reality or not. Your alternatives are limited by the nature of the forum you've chosen.

consonants3• 13 years ago

Recovering opiate addict here, I guess I'd fit your definition of having a "real addiction[sic]". I just want to chime in and say the defining attribute of addiction isn't whether or not something is physically addictive, but whether or not the behavior is negatively impacting your life and you can't stop on your own aka psychological addiction. I've been through opiate withdrawals dozens of times, while I had the urge to use my WANT to be clean was enough to bare the brunt of the pain. Physical withdrawals weren't the reason I relapsed after kicking (as I had obviously returned to a endogenous opioid (receptor) balance), it was the psychological dependence that crept back into my life when I was stressed. It's that pattern of addictive behavior in response to emotions that is the problem, not receptor downregulation and cessation of production endogenous neurotransmitters or what have you.

Remember your criteria for addiction doesn't match that of the medical community's, and for good reason.

Sven7• 13 years ago

it was the psychological dependence that crept back into my life when I was stressed. It's that pattern of addictive behavior in response to emotions that is the problem

Very well put. I am no expert in this subject, but it feels to me that the web is taking advantage of this pattern a little too much.

I am not just talking about porn, its social networks, video sites, gaming sites, aggregators all of which are being engineered to optimize for engagement.

dclowd9901• 13 years ago

There's something empowering about recognizing something as an addiction. It allows you to compartmentalize that behavior, and act on it like you might a disease. Exercise and eating right don't become behaviors you're trying to habitually instill, they become "treatments," that you feel mandated to consume, because to allow the disease to continue is unacceptable.

Tichy7• 13 years ago

Find it hard to trust that piece, too many possible agendas come to mind that could motivate publishing it.

For what it's worth, I've been watching porn now an then and it didn't spiral into more and more kinky and what not stuff for me. I still prefer "playboy style" most of the time.

The thesis that porn worsens your sexual taste is probably the foundation for a lot of ideological campaigns...

icebraining3• 13 years ago

I did find a little extreme to automatically consider watching porn regularly a problem. On the other hand, let's not draw too many conclusions from our personal experiences; many people gamble occasionally without becoming addicted, but others definitively do.

ImprovedSilence• 13 years ago

> For what it's worth, I've been watching porn now an then and it didn't spiral into more and more kinky and what not stuff for me. I still prefer "playboy style" most of the time.

yeah, and I drink alcohol from time to time, and it doesn't spiral into binging and/or addiction. But just because that is the case for me, doesn't mean it's the case for others as well...

Tichy7• 13 years ago

Obviously it is a problem for some people, but the distinction that it's not a problem for everyone is an important one.

hedonist6• 13 years ago

Yeah. Also disappointing is the tendency to be completely oblivious (it would seem) to the difference between correlation and causality. For example:

At the 2003 American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers meeting, two-thirds of lawyers reported that compulsive Internet use played a significant role in divorces over that year, and 56 percent of those divorce cases included a partner who had an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.

i.e. one of the partners was using porn as a band-aid to ease the pain of a much deeper problem -- which typically takes one of 3 forms: (1) both partners love each other and are doing "everything right" but one has discovered, before the other it would seem, that they just aren't really compatible sexually; (2) they're still hot for each other, but other distractions (fighting, money, kids) are getting in the way; or (3) one of the other parts has "discovered" that they have a different chromosomal preference.

Nasty and potentially intractable issues, indeed. But porn watching by itself -- even excessively so? In comparison, not so much.

Tichy7• 13 years ago

Also perhaps "porn addiction" is a good argument in a divorce case?

cookiecaper6• 13 years ago

While it's true that porn use is often motivated by deeper emotional problems, that doesn't mean it's an acceptable outlet. Pornography use obviously does cause serious emotional strife to many partners, or they wouldn't report it as a major factor in their divorce.

One may enjoy breaking the windows of adjacent corporate complexes with a golf club to blow off frustration from a day at work, but that doesn't mean it's an acceptable outlet. Pornography can cause much, much deeper, personal emotional damage than acts of petty vandalism.

cookiecaper6• 13 years ago

I hate mention of marriages failing due to "compatibility issues". It's a total mockery of the intent of the institution. When you marry, you covenant to society that you will make yourself compatible with your spouse, even when it's difficult to do so, as long as these terms do not breach a handful of fundamental contractual obligations implied by the marital covenant.

If one is "sexually incompatible" with his/her spouse, they should talk about it, recognize the issues, make compromises, and move forward. They should also recognize that while sex is meaningful and important, it can't be a deal-breaker for a marriage -- what happens when a partner contracts a medical condition that precludes their participation in intercourse? This should be recognized as a possibility going in, and people should realize that they can't allow sexuality to overwhelm and consume larger, more important pieces of their relationship. Pornography can cloud this crucial perspective.

hedonist6• 13 years ago

The thesis that porn worsens your sexual taste is probably the foundation for a lot of ideological campaigns...

Not saying it's proven -- but there's nothing terribly ideological about it either.

Kind of like listening to bad music (or pretty much any kind of music over and over again) can stunt your musical development... or eating too much junk food can leave you with a taste for more and more of the same... it wouldn't surprise me that too much bad porn leaves some people with bad, or just immature sexual tastes.

And to the production of... lots and lots and lots of bad, nasty and just shockingly dull commercial porn.

VLM3• 13 years ago

"bad, nasty and just shockingly dull"

sounds like adjectives for TV, most "journalist" websites, most computer games, most radio/music as per your example, most pulp paperback novel shovelware... all ripe for profitable tech startup disruption.

"pr0n that's not awful" would seem to be a perfectly valid startup goal. I have absolutely no idea how to get there, but I like the goal. Can anyone think of any VC funded startups on this topic?

hedonist6• 13 years ago

Another interesting tidbit:

At Brigham Young University in 2007, 21 percent of male college students reported watching porn "every day or almost every day."

xtc• 13 years ago

In their eyes it beats a carbonated beverage addiction.

another_addict• 13 years ago

As a recovering alcoholic, current caffeine addict, occasional nicotine user, and porn user, here are my thoughts.

I had a complete physical, mental, and spiritual addiction to alcohol. Parts of my life were falling apart around me and I was completely powerless to put down the bottle. Everywhere I went I had to have a plan as to how I would drink, and the possibility of being away from alcohol for a day threw me in fits of panic. When I did quit (years ago), I suffered from acute alcohol withdrawal, including delirium tremens, and had to taper off with benzos to prevent seizures. For me to successfully quit, I had to go to rehab and attend AA meetings everyday for months.

Nowadays I'm a big coffee drinker. If I forget to drink some sort of caffeine on any given day, I will get a headache sometime in the afternoon. I suffer physical withdrawal which is somewhat uncomfortable, but the fact that I could forget to have caffeine in the first place indicates a different sort of addiction than my alcoholism. If I wanted to quit, I would just have to go through a couple unpleasant days and be done with it.

As for nicotine, I've gone weeks, even months without any and haven't suffered withdrawal symptoms, but I enjoy it, so I use it on a semi regular basis, and have been for the last 6 years.

"Addiction" is a term which can describe a wide variety of conditions. As an alcoholic, I have a tendency to downplay addictions that aren't to dangerous substances. However, the author obviously has some mental obsession with pornography, he saw a problem with his porn use, and he felt like he needed some sort of external support to cope with and curtail his use. I don't think the term addiction is wholly inappropriate in his case.

What I don't like as much is applying the label of addiction to other porn users. I think it's up to the individual to be honest with themselves and decide whether they need to take drastic measures to curtail their porn use, whether it's a bad habit, or whether it's just another outlet and presents no threat to their emotional well-being.

sergiosgc4• 13 years ago

My coffee intake regularly creeps to the level of having a headache on withdrawal. Personally, my approach is this:

a) Never drink coffee on Saturdays. The routine change makes it easy to skip coffee one day.

b) If a coffee free Saturday induces a headache, skip coffee for a couple of days.

This is, for me, enough to lower the volume of coffee I drink, thus maintaining an acceptable level (by acceptable I don't mean healthy, I probably still consume way too much caffeine; I mean controllable)

md2243• 13 years ago

Reading this article, I get the feeling that the real problem isn't porn at all, but rather societal attitudes toward porn and the web of shame that the author finds himself ensnared in. He seems to admit as much towards the end of the article.

Personally I find it kind of anthropologically fascinating that society has a natural impulse to record the reproductive act and view such recordings as a leisure activity.

chevas• 13 years ago

Porn is destructive in itself and should not be dismissed as neutral, even if you've never seen it in your own experiences or in those around you.

Porn is about control. A person tells themselves a false story about their sexuality (even if they can't articulate it or form it into words) that goes something like "I am not satisfied with my current sexual experiences, but if I find the right type of images/videos/fetishes and watch them, I will be satisfied" -- The person fulfills their sexual desires through porn use, but then it doesn't satisfy and they are back for more the next time.

You can't control a real person as easily as porn and so the user continually goes back to porn. Over time the user prefers porn to the other person in the relationship (usually a woman). Women especially, will try to compensate for the gap by comparing themselves to the women in the porn videos, but to no avail and the woman feels more and more dejected.

Heavy porn use also leads to erectile dysfunction and other issues (even if not in a relationship). Some helpful info is here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/

md2243• 13 years ago

If you're not satisfied with your current sexual experiences, the solution is to explore your own sexuality and find what actually turns you on. If porn helps you achieve that, then that's great.

Obviously you should work on finding a consensual partner that shares your sexual interests, but in the absence of such a partner, I'm not convinced viewing pornography in moderation is destructive.

VLM3• 13 years ago

I think we could respin this into a meme that could apply to various other topics. I immediately thought of my own deep dark secret which is watching (fully clothed, I assure you) cooking shows on TV. Reads pretty smooth.

jroseattle• 13 years ago

Speculate much?

s_baby2• 13 years ago

Porn is destructive in itself and should not be dismissed as neutral, even if you've never seen it in your own experiences or in those around you.

Then so is food, tv, computer use, and anything else that can create compulsive behavior. You're telling a very particular story about porn but it isn't the whole story.

Porn is about control.

Which is why women find it so threatening. Sex is about control too. If your partner is giving out sex like they're dog treats for "good behavior" how is your position in life any healthier? In that context maybe porn isn't so bad after all depending on your relationship to it.

WalterSear• 13 years ago

Porn is about control.

If that's what you really think, then you have a really fucked-up relationship to sex.

jquery• 13 years ago

You are right, porn is about control. Control of your own sexual urges and desires instead of relying 100% on your partner, who may have a lower libido and appreciate that you're not badgering them into sex when they don't want it. Control of your desires so that you don't end up in a bad relationship just for sexual gratification.

Unless you're coming at it from a religious moral angle, porn has less potential for destruction than sex. Porn doesn't lead to STDs and unexpected pregnancy.

Erectile dysfunction is a physical dysfunction, not merely the lack of desire for sex. Stop giving men anxiety about their erections simply because they don't want sex all the time.

TikiTDO• 13 years ago

I took a look at the website you linked at the bottom of your post.

The first thing I noticed is that most of the front-page articles are testimonials. Fortunately there was an article written by the author right at the start, however as soon as I started reading I noticed another problem. Almost every reference is to other articles on that same site, which themselves link deeper into the site. Occasionally I'd hit some articles from psychology today (psychology magazine, not a journal), and other popular media sources. I did not find any references to proper scholarly articles though.

A quick search of Google scholar turns up no articles to back up most of the major assertions he makes on here. Now that's certainly not enough to dismiss the site outright, but it's certainly enough to make me question what exactly he found, and how well he is interpreting the existing results. I have no trouble accepting the existence of porn addiction, but I do believe that making a case as strong as the one you seem to be making requires much stronger evidence than what you have presented.

VladRussian22• 13 years ago

sounds scary. You forgot to mention furry hands though.

VLM3• 13 years ago

With the annoying proliferation of camera phones, I assure you that getting laid is not the only pleasurable leisure activity that seemingly everyone has a nearly instinctive desire to record and watch. I won't declare it cultural because there's enough immigrants representing in my area to prove that it doesn't matter if you're born in Laos, Japan, Mexico, India, or the USA, if the kids do something cute, its a mommie instinct, out comes the smartphone.

Once you have kids you'll see what I mean. Last Monday night you'd think it was a camera technology convention, not a little league baseball game.

For better or worse, its only residual cultural Puritanism that stops my wife from showing everyone a video of when our kids were conceived, much as she has video of seemingly everything else involving them. (including when they were born, and I'm not kidding about that)

md2243• 13 years ago

Oh, I totally agree. I'm merely pointing out that pornography seems to have a special place in the history of media depictions:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_erotic_depictions

farinasa6• 13 years ago

Humans have a superpower called empathy. By watching others experience pleasure, we ourselves can experience that pleasure and people will pay for that.

philh• 13 years ago

I'm pretty sure that when we get aroused from porn, that's not an empathetic response. (There may be empathy involved, but it's not primarily empathetic. We can test this: do sociopaths get aroused by porn?)

Tichy7• 13 years ago

It has been shown that monkeys are willing to pay for porn, too (or apes or chimpanzees or something, can't remember the exact differences).

zimpenfish• 13 years ago

I sense an opportunity for an upcoming YCombinator round...

coldtea4• 13 years ago

Personally I find it kind of anthropologically fascinating that society has a natural impulse to record the reproductive act and view such recordings as a leisure activity.

Have you also noticed that besides "the reproductive act" it records and views ALL kinds of acts as a leisure activity?

From war stories, to horror stories, political stories, court drama, to adventures, to comical incidents, stories about actual events, to a guy doing stupid things to himself (Jackass)?

Why would "the reproductive act" by any different?

Not to mention people rarely watch the actual "reproductive act". They watch sex. Including anal, blog jobs, tentacle porn, all of which are anything but "reproductive".

Because reproduction employs just one case of the total of sex expression / porn material, doesn't mean it has anything to do with it.

Zikes• 13 years ago

I think it's telling that the author draws a parallel with the so-called rape culture. It feels like the concept of porn addiction (which is far too loosely defined in this article to be seriously considered) is being used as a tool to retain control over the male libido. Whereas previously women held the proverbial keys to the kingdom, men now have a safe and easily accessible outlet.

But society shames that outlet, attaching emotions such as guilt and repression, and drawing a tenuous connection to an eventual loss of self-control. It does not directly address what should be considered a healthy libido, only that by refraining from any sexual activities at all the brain will somehow eventually reset to a "natural" state, which seems to be defined only by a lowered interest in sex.

The part where the author describes his experience sharing his porn with his partner I found especially disturbing. His partner expressed outright disgust, and then described what followed as mere "fucking". This does not properly address the facet of the libido that demands fulfillment without the pressure of a performance. Men are under tremendous pressure to perform with almost every sexual act, even with long-time partners, and sometimes it's easier, simpler, and more appropriate to fill those needs alone with non-judgmental and even wholly private materials.

reader50003• 13 years ago

Please give an example of "society" shaming porn.

farinasa6• 13 years ago

Go watch some porn in public.

tshaddox• 13 years ago

It's a pervasive cultural meme. How many times have you heard people talk or joke about "getting caught" or "walking in on someone" viewing porn? Have you ever been working on a friend's computer and joked about accidentally stumbling onto something embarrassing? Have you seen any of a myriad of comedy films which feature porn-related mishaps involving embarrassment? And then of course there's religion: as far as I know, all the major world religions condemn pornography.

ambiate2• 13 years ago

There is a bench on our main road that says 'Watching porn will lose you your JOB FAMILY FRIENDS AND KIDS. PORN WILL DESTROY YOUR LIFE.'

Caps are not my emphasis. Glorious Waco, TX. Two miles away was a billboard of a mother discarding a baby into a garbage can for some anti-abortion campaign.

namuol2• 13 years ago

Are all fetishes addictions?

I think the individual is the one who decides whether they're addicted or not.

As I understand it, true porn addiction is when it interferes with your sex life to the point that you can't enjoy sex without it, when you want to enjoy it without it. Anything else is just a fetish.

I'm tired of watching society try to neatly categorize things as amorphous as sexual behavior. As soon as the "experts" have something to say, people find a reason to stop thinking about it.

lotharbot4• 13 years ago

... or when it interferes with other parts of your life. If you're constantly late to work because you can't shut off the porn when it's time to go, that's a definite sign of addiction.

namuol2• 13 years ago

Right -- life interfering stuff, in general, but I just think the most prevalent issue is the interference with one's sex life once one becomes "dependent."

scythe• 13 years ago

The Last Psychiatrist, ever controversial, suggests that in some men, viewing pornography (and relevant compulsion) is a way of maintaining a state of denial regarding their own poor sexual performance. It's an interesting hypothesis.

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/02/hes_just_not_that_int...

I don't have a useful personal contribution, I guess. I'm used to closing my eyes and imagining things. My stuff's better than porn, anyway.

The one part that grinds my gears: we're all well acquainted with the stench of amateur pseudoeconomics, amateur pseudopsychology, and amateur pseudosociology that infest every Internet discussion like a splotchy, shouting Bill O'Reilly discussing the movement of tides. Move aside, fellas, here comes amateur pseudoneuroscience:

I posted this on Your Brain Rebalanced, and someone pointed out the obvious to me: neurons the fire together, wire together, and if I was still indulging those fantasies, I was still keeping those reward pathways strong.

Yeah, if you don't activate the 5-ht4nonsense receptor for a little while, stupidtonin production returns to normal levels. Check, please.

By all means, share your experiences, what works and doesn't, but don't get attached to your claims as though they're related to some fundamental law of neural processing. The brain is a mighty complex thing, and two-bit highdeas about the effect of a fantasy aren't helpful and may distract from real self-improvement. Just pay attention to what is actually happening when you do things.

Though I think the article's barometer is off: the question is not "do you have weird fantasies at all anymore". You have memories, memories don't go away unless you do something stupid. The question is "are you fulfilled by having sex with your partner". In that vein, remember this:

"Ambition is the death of thought" ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein

Oh, most importantly: stop thinking of sex as a performance. It's not. A partner, male or female, who expects otherwise is a bad person.

nicholassmith• 13 years ago

Nailed it. There's so much pseudo science around these topics it's hard to find any actual facts to back up their positions. Sharing experiences is important, but don't frame it as science.

gizmo686• 13 years ago

Try search google scholar. I haven't looked in this topic specifically, but I have looked into other politicized/psuedo-science heavy topics on it, and it has always brought up good science.

maratd• 13 years ago

viewing pornography (and relevant compulsion) is a way of maintaining a state of denial regarding their own poor sexual performance.

I think that's a bit off and the answer is far simpler. I have sex regularly with my wife and still consume porn, as do many others. I have a child. I don't think you could describe my sexual performance, which I assume is meant in the evolutionary sense, as poor.

I don't mean to be crass, and this conversation is already pretty much there, but ejaculating is fairly similar to urinating. It fulfills a necessary bodily function of discarding old sperm. All primates do it and if you restrain yourself, your body will do it involuntarily (ie you'll have a wet dream).

Personally, I prefer not to have to change my underwear in the middle of the night, regardless of how pleasant the experience may be.

Avshalom• 13 years ago

why would you assume the evolutionary sense?

cm20123• 13 years ago

Nocturnal emissions generally only occur in teenagers, just a small nitpick.

sokoloff• 13 years ago

as do many others.

Your wife is having a lot of sex, then...

coldtea4• 13 years ago

The Last Psychiatrist, ever controversial, suggests that in some men, viewing pornography (and relevant compulsion) is a way of maintaining a state of denial regarding their own poor sexual performance. It's an interesting hypothesis.

Yes. If one is to assume there's something as a "rich sexual performance" standard, people should aspire to.

farinasa6• 13 years ago

Men are sexually stimulated almost wholly by visuals. Some women enjoy porn, but any attack on porn is a direct attack on men. Also, many men will spontaneously ejaculate if not stimulated. Honestly, it is not much different than needing to urinate or defecate. It is a bodily function that must be taken care of or your body will take care of it for you. Watching porn is not a bad thing. Some porn is bad, but watching it certainly is not.

Raphmedia2• 13 years ago

This article is bullshit. Addiction is an illness. Pornography is not.

Pornography by itself, as strange as the video may be, is not a problem by itself.

I don't know what country / generation / family the author is from, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to come from there.

I talk openly with my friends and some coworkers about sex and pornography and I sure don't feel ashamed to do so!

lotharbot4• 13 years ago

Food is not a problem by itself, but there are people addicted to eating (sometimes specific types of foods.)

Same with alcohol. Having a drink is perfectly healthy, but there are people who are addicted to the bottle.

"Addiction is an illness" -- and one can be addicted to things that are otherwise perfectly acceptable. This does not provide a basis for excluding pornography from the category of "things someone can be addicted to".

Raphmedia2• 13 years ago

I am not saying that it is exempt from being an addiction for some people. The issue for me with this article is the approach the author takes. The article reeks with guilt toward pornography.

tokenadult• 13 years ago

Comments here decry pop neuroscience. I will recommend here a new book, Brainwashed: The Seductive Appeal of Mindless Neuroscience by Sally Satel and Scott O. Lilienfeld, who are both thoughtful and appropriately skeptical researchers on neuroscience topics.

http://www.amazon.com/Brainwashed-Seductive-Appeal-Mindless-...

tux19682• 13 years ago

Porn is used in medicine. Reproductive clinics use porn to help their patients reach climax in order to provide seminal fluid samples. This to me suggests, that like most things, porn can be a good thing, or a bad thing. It's much more about moderation or addiction in general than porn in particular.

baddox3• 13 years ago

I don't think the medical argument is sufficient. They also break your ribs to do heart surgery.

tux19682• 13 years ago

That's exactly the point. Sometimes breaking a persons ribs is a good thing. The medical argument I made was just meant as an example of a positive use of porn. There are surely others, such as in sexual dysfunction therapies, and perhaps in spicing up intimate relations within long term relationships. It's just not a black and white situation where porn should clearly be cast as a societal evil.

My goal was to illustrate at least one uncontroversial use of porn that was positive. Someone willing to concede this point must then think more carefully about which uses of porn are positive and which are negative rather than dismissing them all as inherently negative.

yason• 13 years ago

It's not about porn, it's about addiction.

If your psyche needs an addiction you will find one. It could be tobacco, porn, alcohol, or shopping, but nevertheless you will find your outlet for your addictive behaviour. Different addictions come with different consequences. Porn is a relatively safe addiction (well, I suppose it's possible to physically wear out your genitalia so that it begins to hurt?) so I don't get the title, really.

dlss• 13 years ago

To quote the cryptonomicon, "Clarity of mind (Cm) is affected by any number of factors, but by far the most important is horniness" http://www.euskalnet.net/larraorma/crypto/slide63.html

Until an article like this one considers the impact of its recommendations on productivity, the entire debate is on the wrong topic IMO.

I mean, I'm sure by some metric I'd live a better life if I never ate alone... but I'd also be hungrier, more focused on food, and almost surely less productive.

For whatever reason most people seem to think that orgasam sits separate from the other natural functions of the body. I don't. If I'm hungry I eat. If there's someone I can eat with, all the better. I don't see why that algorithm needs to change when it comes to sex.

mkramlich• 13 years ago

Replace 'porn' with 'sex' in any discussion about porn 'addiction' and it will have an enlightening effect, I think.

rnernento• 13 years ago

I think people are missing a big point here, in the age internet pornography a lot of us can be exposed to some pretty weird shit potentially at some really young ages. We don't get a chance to talk about those things rationally and reasonably because of societal pressures and psychologically that's not a great thing.

MartinCron• 13 years ago

As a parent, this is the thing that scares me most. The most risqué thing I found as a kid is very, very tame compared to mainstream Internet porn and I wonder what that kind of stuff might do if (when) my kids stumble upon it.

mrcactu5• 13 years ago

the internet is made for porn ♫♫♫ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bQo05WkHyc