Mourning and moving on: rituals for leaving a career (2014)

https://franceshocutt.com/2014/09/10/on-mourning-and-moving-on-rituals-for-leaving-a-career/

by luu • 2 years ago

203 122 2 years ago

franceshocutt.com

flobosg• 2 years ago

(2014)

mgaunard• 2 years ago

I quit the company I was working for many times.

It was usually an opportunity to leave the drama behind, not create more.

jacobgkau• 2 years ago

To be fair, this blog post is more about making a complete career change, not just switching companies within the same general field.

Having one of your friends bring you funeral lilies does seem a little much, though.

campervans• 2 years ago

Wonder how it went for her. Probably the best decision of her life

the_real_cher• 2 years ago

Seems a bit dramatic

KSteffensen• 2 years ago

I don't know anything about the author and their situation, but in my experience the first time you realize that your life is not going to be as you expected in major ways can be quite hard.

I don't think mourning is an inappropriate word to use for this.

bowsamic4• 2 years ago

Leaving academia is like this. It's very sticky and scary to leave. I remember how devastating it was for me. I think it's because there's a very strong sense of a missed dream, and that you can never return.

0xEF• 2 years ago

I feel the need to point out that it's not difficult for people whose identity is not centered around their jobs, since I see that disconnect in the comments. I found the author's take full of the pageantry that I often associate with people who make big deals out of fairly inconsequential things, but before I begrudge the author their take, I have to remember that my career is of relatively little importance to me.

Hypothetically, when you meet someone new, do you introduce yourself as your job? Is one of the first exchanges of self-identifying information what you do for a living? A lot of people do and while I do not understand it, I guess that is what their lives are. Tbh, I find it a bit sad. Generally, my career does not enter the conversation unless there is some relevant reason. I'd rather talk about my productive hobbies where I am making or building or learning a thing.

Breaking this down, when we use our jobs as our identity, I find it exceptionally difficult to pull the "why do you do it" out of that conversation, because a career is just a paycheck, in the end and involves very little personal enrichment. Of course, not everyone views careers that way and I'm not here to try to change minds, but shed light on why it might seem silly to many of us.

Perhaps we are not one of the lucky few with those unicorn jobs that both pay the bills, offer a bright future, and promote personal growth. They exist, I am sure, but they are the exception to the rule.

greener_grass• 2 years ago

Out of curiosity, why can't you return?

KineticLensman• 2 years ago

Another anecdata point... For me leaving academia was a big challenge - I'd have to find a job, pass interviews, move home, etc, etc. Scary stuff! But as soon as I had actually done this, my new career path in industry went smoothly, and my first year in industry massively improved my personal confidence. As an academic I was surrounded by other academics, but in industry I was forced to interact and communicate with a more diverse group of people, and I quickly found that it wasn't as scary as I had thought. E.g. doing product demos to senior people, supporting our marketing people by building prototypes, etc.

Amazingly, the company I moved to had much better tooling for the type of software research research I was recruited for than I had had access to at Uni. I built something (as part of a supportive team that understood software dev) in about six months, that I had struggled (and failed) to build in academia over a couple of years.

xtracto4• 2 years ago

For me it was more of a 'good riddance' moment haha .

But I ded finish my PhD and a postdoc, so I didn't leave with a feeling of 'I have failed '

I remember though, that feeling when I was doing my PhD and I got the quits fever.

I think a lot of people struggle mentally when they quit in the middle mainly because of a sense of defeat.

To them I would say scree it. If you found out the stupid churn of the academia process is not for you, leave without remorse.

It's like game programming. It's fantasized during childhood, but once you get in and see the swamp it is, you realize it's either for you or it isn't no shame at all in leaving.

swores• 2 years ago

They aren't claiming their career decision is a monumental thing for anyone but themselves, but a complete change of career is a monumental moment for the person whose career it is.

If you're suggesting that having a dinner party with friends to mourn/celebrate the change, and writing a blog post about it, is overly "dramatic" then I completely disagree. If, on the other hand, you just mean that some of the minor specifics such as the invite including "Dressing in your personal version of mourning wear, the more over-the-top the better, is highly encouraged but not required." then I think you're just not in sync with her(his?) sense of humour.

DeborahWrites• 2 years ago

The process in my mid-20s of realising I was not going to have the career I'd expected since my mid-teens was pretty rough. I eventually dusted myself off and pivoted, but it might have been healthy to mourn (although I can't imagine myself summoning my friends to a gathering for that purpose - but good for her, sounds like she had a sense of humour about it)

emmelaich• 2 years ago

Reminds me of Sabine Hossenfelder's "My dream died, and now I'm here"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKiBlGDfRU8

roel_v• 2 years ago

Not to highjack this topic, but she was recommended (like to many others of you no doubt) quite a bit in my Youtube feeds over the last few months; and the first few videos I watched seemed to be solid enough. Yet as I watched a few more, I couldn't shake the feeling that she's so out of left field that she's not just a 'quirky renegade' anymore, but rather a quack who dresses up her quackery with just enough 'real' physics to make it all sound very convincing. (By that I don't mean that she says factually wrong things, but that her conclusions or extrapolations from established facts seem to me, well, outrageous). However, I don't know enough physics to be able to tell if this is a correct feeling, and the Youtube comments are, as usual, one big fanboy fest, which is true for any large enough channel - even those of flat earthers and similarly delusional content).

So my question is - just how serious should she (and others like her, who denounce 'mainstream' academia as much as those other fringe groups who go on and on about the corruption of 'mainstream' media) be taken? Anyone have an opinion on this?

Tazerenix2• 2 years ago

As an expert in at least some of the things Sabine makes videos about (string theory), Sabine is a contrarian who, if you are not otherwise an expert on what she is talking about, it would be best to avoid.

Sabine, like many contrarians, takes advantage of the fact that there are smart and convincing criticisms of many mainstream ideas, and she does her best to rely on those criticisms. However like all contrarians she presents a biased and exaggerated view of things in order to stoke engagement, and unless you are an expert it can be difficult/impossible to determine whether the view she is giving is balanced.

This is a classic issue with string theory critics, because string theory has many legitimate problems with it, but many of the critics are intellectually dishonest and you probably shouldn't listen to their criticisms on principle (but even I must admit it's quite hard to find good quality intellectually honest criticism of string theory which is digestible, so these contrarians tend to be the only loud voice).

In Sabine's case it is not so bad, because it is clear from some of her other positions that she is basically a crank. MOND and superdeterminism are basically crank physics at this point but she supports them purely because she is a contrarian. On this evidence alone you should not trust anything she says on any other subject, otherwise you're falling for a kind of Gell-Mann amnesia.

stdbrouw• 2 years ago

I'm not a physicist so I can't answer that question, though personally I trust in her expertise and really loved her book Lost in Math, but many of her most recent videos and tweets are not about physics at all but instead about nuclear power, capitalism, climate change, not having children, trans athletes, AI and so forth. The lure of punditry...

fruffy2• 2 years ago

So my question is - just how serious should she (and others like her, who denounce 'mainstream' academia as much as those other fringe groups who go on and on about the corruption of 'mainstream' media) be taken? Anyone have an opinion on this?

I know nothing about her but the video on her experience in academia is spot on. It's a pretty common experience among STEM academics. You will face the point where you have to compromise your academic "purity" and curiosity for trendy topics to survive. This also implies publishing "bullshit" papers and "bullshit" grants. Only certain types of people make it through that.

voxgen3• 2 years ago

I've seen similar reactions and I can't help but think she's intentionally communicating provocatively to make people engage their brains.

You shouldn't just "take her seriously", you should take what she says *critically*. Hear the information and opinions, then decide for yourself whether to accept them.

nonrandomstring2• 2 years ago

just how serious should she... be taken?

Very seriously indeed if you value higher education and research.

Lot's of people do. Over a decade ago now, Ben Ginsberg wrote "Fall of the Faculty". Political scientists like Wendy Brown have picked apart not only the evidence, but done deep analytical work on the reasons for the disintegration of academia in the West. Even Peter Thiel (who I profoundly disagree with on almost everything) has given knock-down commentary that I find impossible to ignore on how academia went to seed, and is now unfit for teaching, learning and honest research.

From a personal perspective; I worked in universities for over 30 years. What we have now is unrecognisable from the institutions I started teaching at in the early 1990s. Almost all human values have been expunged and replaced by a puppet show of performative theatrics, led by MBA educated impostors and career administrators. It is fake to the core. I no longer recognise these places as universities. I've seen brilliant colleagues go crazy, retire early, turn to alcohol and drugs, commit suicide, or just wander off to live in the mountains and grow vegetables. I refuse to believe all those smart and dedicated people are/were "weak". Academia is a very toxic place and I would not advise any "smart and sensitive" person to go into that life if you value your health.

When you consider how much it costs a nation to educate someone to PhD level and then look at the churn and attrition, it's a massive bonfire of wealth.

I've written numerous pieces in the Times Higher on specific failings of universities, but one cannot halt a juggernaut of change with words alone. Now I am left only with curiosity at how higher education will change and what will come after.

My response has been to conduct and publish my own research independently outside the "academic system" and to start my own companies for teaching. By my standards, both are successful.

edit: grammar

andai• 2 years ago

You're asking the crowd for their opinion on someone who goes against the opinion of the crowd?

gosub1002• 2 years ago

Can you give any examples of her promoting "quackery"? I don't know how you can admit you are weak in physics but nevertheless sense she is phony.

My biggest criticism of hers is that she is cynical and spends too much time tearing down other ideas rather than promoting anything.

But overall she does great things with showcasing the more ridiculous side of academia. She is adept at taking published research and showing that it is quackery. She shows how they manipulate data and mislead the media, often for more research money. I also applaud her counterpoint in particle physics regarding the waste involved in building yet another gigantic particle accelerator. It's a POV I wouldn't have considered, but I agree that the money could be better spent in other areas.

kanodiaashu2• 2 years ago

Its interesting to me how you start with career maps. Maybe this is advertising, but I made a career mapping app here - https://www.moveup.ai/for-individuals - I wonder if you would find it interesting.

gbuk2013• 2 years ago

FYI I tried putting in my linked-in profile and it failed to pull in any data.

kanodiaashu2• 2 years ago

oh; thanks for trying it - our linkedin api provider is imperfect. If you could try to put in your resume that would be great. I'm happy to get on a call and talk about it but no pressure.

avg_dev• 2 years ago

Very nice read. I remember reading the one she wrote first too. Quite moving.

unwind• 2 years ago

What is the "alternate career path" the author mentions but never explains? I didn't get that part.

noelwelsh3• 2 years ago

According to their CV, on the same site, they became a developer at the Wikimedia foundation.

vouaobrasil2• 2 years ago

I'm afraid I can't relate. I initially invested a lot of time in my first choice of career (over a decade) and just left last year. I walked out the door, said goodbye, and the next day it was out of my mind. That being said, I think the key is keeping a strong mental separation between "passion for a field of work" and "predetermined path by society to actualize that passion". The latter, in my opinion, is something that one should never get attached to.

esafak• 2 years ago

If you wanted to become a doctor, say, and flunked out of school, how would you find another path to become a doctor; start again in another country? Sometimes the cost of failure is high.

mp05• 2 years ago

Easy, just apply to a osteopathic medicine program.

vouaobrasil2• 2 years ago

It is, but sometimes there is no choice but to do something else. And the cost of my own "failure" was high, though I wouldn't label it as a failure. That word is barely in my vocabulary...I prefer to consider it as a learning experience.

silcoon• 2 years ago

This article is from 2014, the year should be included in the title

thenoblesunfish• 2 years ago

I made a similar move and felt a similar sense of loss. I wish I had had the mental clarity at the time to throw fun parties instead of just trying to keep life together. I'm comforted by the fact that in my new career there are great people, just like there were in academia, and that my friends who stayed there are either (a) truly great scientists (b) struggling basically with the same things (money, politics, , people, "work") that most people in most white collar jobs struggle with.

lucraft2• 2 years ago

"You are formally invited to A WAKE for THE RESEARCH SCIENCE CAREER of FRANCES HOCUTT FRIDAY from 7 PM to MIDNIGHT"

When I quit my PhD I had an Ungraduation Party! My wife made a cake and everyone sang Happy Ungraduation To You! It was sad and happy but overwhelmingly such a relief to get out

bumby• 2 years ago

What went into your decision to drop out?

Good on you too not wrap your identity too much in a credential to allow yourself that decision and also having unconditional support from those close to you.

lucraft2• 2 years ago

Thanks... I haven't thought about it in a long time, as it was difficult, but looking back it seems quite positive.

Three things:

1. Full disclosure at that time in my life I was rather bad at motivating myself to work independently for long periods. In hindsight starting a PhD was a bad idea for this reason alone.

2. The university closed the department I was in. I was transferred to another supervisor in another department, who was nice but saw his role as more administrative. After a while he then announced he was retiring so I was looking at moving to another supervisor again.

3. I turned out to be far, far more interested in writing software than doing research. E.g I wrote an open source unit testing library in Prolog to support my research tooling. I was learning Rails on the side. I went to the Hacker News meet-up in London, and the startup that was running them offered me a job, and the rest is history!

I had sunk multiple years into it so it wasn't easy. But in hindsight it was not even a close decision.

11101010001100• 2 years ago

Reading their first post about leaving https://modelviewculture.com/pieces/i-didn-t-want-to-lean-ou..., I'm not sure how seriously I should take this piece. 'They don't tell you ...'. Of course not, but they certainly hint at it. This is something that goes well beyond academia...

ryukoposting2• 2 years ago

We create meaning around the stress and soften transitions with rituals and rites of passage.

I graduated into the height of the pandemic, so I never had a graduation ceremony. Instead, they played a shitty video presentation over Zoom and my parents cracked open a beer and watched it on TV.

By the time I got invited back for a ceremony, I had already moved hundreds of miles away from my university. Obviously, I turned down the offer. I sometimes wonder if I'll regret that choice later on down the line.

helsinki• 2 years ago

You won’t.

hemloc_io• 2 years ago

As someone who also graduated during the pandemic an moved across the country.

Maybe man, but honestly it just isn't the same as actually getting to say goodbye to your friends.

Out of all of the things that went poorly that year, ppl missing their graduations is definitely pretty low on that list, but on a personal level it just really sucked having your entire social circle just disappear out of your life basically randomly.

dustincoates• 2 years ago

Obviously, I turned down the offer. I sometimes wonder if I'll regret that choice later on down the line.

I could not tell you a single thing about my graduation ceremony.

icedchai• 2 years ago

Same. It's been over 2 decades. I was practically a different person.

01HNNWZ0MV43FF• 2 years ago

I don't regret skipping college graduation and I barely remember high school graduation

I do regret that I didn't join any clubs in college until my last semester, and that I didn't make the kind of friendships I wanted

ghaff2• 2 years ago

One of the clubs I belonged to (film committee) is pretty much the only college group I stay in touch with.

eru3• 2 years ago

I didn't join many clubs when I was in university (in Germany). But for my first job I lived in Cambridge, and just attended clubs at the local university over there, and they mostly just let me in.

I have particularly fond memories of the Diplomacy club: https://www.cambridgesu.co.uk/organisation/7831/

bee_rider• 2 years ago

^ listen to this person.

The ceremonies at the beginning and the end—not a big deal. The part that matters is what you do there.

I think the celebrations are more for the parents, really. We live our lives in the bulk, the area, the day-to-day. We experience others’ lives at boundary transitions, the perimeter, the ending ceremonies.

grogenaut• 2 years ago

I played college football which for the purposes of this conversation isn't a brag but call it a club. A big club. This was at a D3 non scholarship for the love of the game school.

Two weeks before school started I knew 110 students, 15 adult employees, and about 10 recent alums. It was great. I had easy access to people who could answer all my questions. What classes, what professors, what forms, what majors, what restaurants, how to move exams, parties, of age people, cars, parking, tutors etc. Can't recommend it enough.

My daughter is very indoors and "nerdy" for shorthand (So am I I just also do everything and played football). She loved DND. We lived about 12 miles from campus so as soon as she got in I found that they had DND club. I got her to ask to play in the discord early summer. She had a pack of friends by the time school started. A few freshmen and plenty of older classmates.

Can't recommend it enough. Also it generally accelerated me more than the time it took up

gosub1002• 2 years ago

For me the graduation was significant because of how miserable the previous 4 years were, largely for the reason that you mentioned.

mynameisash• 2 years ago

I do regret that I didn't join any clubs in college until my last semester, and that I didn't make the kind of friendships I wanted

As a parent of teenagers, I struggle with how the hell to convey this to my kids. They are so engrossed in YouTube, stupid memes, and games that they don't join any clubs or sports at school; they don't seek out IRL activities; and my 17 year old has no interest in getting his driver's license. I have tried limiting screen time (and I took a lot of good lessons from Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation[0]). They've both got ample opportunities for therapy (depression runs in the family, the eldest has various diagnoses, etc.) and for engagement with peers.

They simply don't make and develop friendships. I have no doubt whatsoever that this will be a huge regret of theirs because they've already said that they wished they had more friends. It's infuriating and deeply saddening to see my kids want to be connected, to have everything they need to be connected, but to still not connect.

[0] https://www.anxiousgeneration.com/book

senkora• 2 years ago

Ironically, several of my friends and I got COVID at our delayed graduation ceremony.

And they did multiple years of graduations at once, which made it exceptionally long. By the midway point even the professors onstage in their regalia were all scrolling on their phones.

I think you made the right choice!

kayodelycaon• 2 years ago

Having been bored to death at a relatives ceremony, I skipped mine and went straight to celebrating with friends at a sushi bar.

Grandma was a bit miffed. Rituals are what you make of them. :)

pradn• 2 years ago

These ceremonies are meaningful if you invest meaning into them.

For my college graduation, the dean did something small to make the ceremony more meaningful. He asked us all to stand up, look back to our family, and applaud them for supporting us all these years. For me, looking back at my parents and thanking them for all they've done for me was a beautiful moment. And it was a full-circle moment for our family, the culmination of a long journey of immigrating to the US, moving around in search of stability. We had moved to be able to buy a house and to get us good, affordable educations. Both of those dreams were fulfilled at that time.

I don't recall much else from that ceremony. Not the speakers, but a few of the interactions afterward with my fellow students and their families.

anal_reactor• 2 years ago

He asked us all to stand up, look back to our family, and applaud them for supporting us all these years.

God I have such a difficult relationship with my parents. Yes, their methods worked, but damn, I'll need years of therapy.

ryukoposting2• 2 years ago

Fair. I hope my kids invest some meaning in it (assuming I have kids someday). Or maybe I don't care if they assign meaning to graduation?

I always cared about school, but I saw it as a means to an end. I knew what I wanted to do from a pretty young age, the path to get there was pretty clear, and I went down that path and now here I am, happy that I made it. So, for me, the ceremony really was just a formality because I knew the real reward would be all the exciting stuff I get to do with my education.

But, now I'm considering having a family in the next few years, and someday I might want to show them photos from my graduation. I can't do that, though.

_heimdall• 2 years ago

If it makes you feel better, my college graduation was the only one where my school decided to have an outdoor ceremony...in May in the deep south.

Needless to say, wearing a black gown over dress cloths is not great when its 95F and humid out. For our families of all ages, sitting in the football stadium for hours in the middle of the day was even worse. Multiple people were taken to the hospital for heat stroke.

Graduation was a decent excuse for my uncles and brother to come into town for a visit, but I would have happily celebrated graduation at a Mexican restaurant with air conditioning and a margarita without the big ceremony.

vampiresdoexist• 2 years ago

You won’t. It’s a small day in the grand scheme of things. I hope you make time for family and friends tho!

hirvi74• 2 years ago

I skipped mine. Graduating college was not something that I was necessarily proud of. I wouldn't dare try to take that feeling away from someone else though. For me? College was just an obstacle -- a chore -- that was just a step in a much longer journey.

justsomehnguy• 2 years ago

I sometimes wonder if I'll regret that choice later on down the line.

How many people regret not buying a high school ring?

dakiol• 2 years ago

I didn’t assist my bachelor degree and master degree graduation. Same for high school.

But over here (southern and western europe), graduations are not like in the american movies. Never regretted not assisting.

albrewer• 2 years ago

I sometimes wonder if I'll regret that choice later on down the line.

As a data point, I skipped mine to sleep in; no regrets 11 years later

PaulHoule• 2 years ago

I can say I did it with a lot less grace as a postdoc but I did get my honorable discharge from my PhD program.

imwillofficial3• 2 years ago

Holding a wake for one’s career and inviting people strikes me ad incredibly narcissistic.

wy35• 2 years ago

I don’t agree. It’s obviously not a “real” wake, just something for friends to hang out and show support. And switching careers often means moving to a different city, so it would be nice to say goodbye to friends who won’t be seen for years (or forever).

I’ve been to a couple “deportation parties” for friends who couldn’t get their visas renewed, and it’s sort of the same thing. Mostly lighthearted but a slight somber undertone.

imwillofficial3• 2 years ago

Man, I could see that being somber! That seems like a great way to have a goodbye party.

iamleppert• 2 years ago

I'm sure the author (in addition to this blog post) posted some trite little post on LinkedIn with a photo of a vista or something. We live in a golden age of narcissism.

goldfishgold• 2 years ago

This is from 10 years ago. I would be curious to know where they are now and how they feel now about this career decision and blog post.

HarryHirsch2• 2 years ago

Looking at the webpage, she is now active in the diversity & inclusion space, which is still booming. She gets an endorsement from Sumana Harihareshwara, who turned the DEI up to 11 in Wikiland.

The talks of the Women in Chemistry section at the recent American Chemical Society meeting included gems like "Metalloids and mentoring: Life at a PUI as the 'Other" and "Transgender chemistry graduate students navigating between trans and STEM identities".

All of that sounds nice until you start teaching in Alabama or get students from a reservation in New Mexico, then you see that what the DEI folks offer is completely useless when it comes to deprivation.

Eridrus• 2 years ago

Seems like they got into tech, like many people leaving science: https://www.usenix.org/conference/lisa19/speaker-or-organize...

ziofill• 2 years ago

A few years ago I left a tenured position and transitioned to industry. It was quite a mixed bag of feelings, including grief for a career that I had identified myself with. It’s very difficult not to identify ourselves with our jobs.

cgearhart• 2 years ago

Thanks. I needed this today. :-)

blueyes• 2 years ago

I think this is true for most careers and prominent roles:

"When I first came to The Times in 2006, a reporter warned me not to identify myself too heavily with my work. “Any job at The Times is a rented tux,” she said."

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/16/dining/pete-wells-steps-d...

gowld2• 2 years ago

Identifying with your work is different from identifying with your employer.

m463• 2 years ago

Before leaving every job I've had, every one, I worried, I agonized, I second guessed myself...

And every new job, every one, within a short time, I thought "I should have done this sooner!"

I think we need to have a bias for moving forward, and I think it is healthy.

That said, I remember a friend who immediately quit their job (for a legitimate reason) without having another job lined up and regretted it. They told me they should have stayed cool, lined up another job first, and then quit.

nopmat• 2 years ago

I worked with someone who dropped out of a physical chemistry graduate program at one of the most prestigious universities in the U.S.. His epiphany: This has nothing to with people. He is now a physician.

ddingus2• 2 years ago

I have never mourned on career changes. I do miss access to things associated with a former career. However, I can often buy or build what I need due to strong electromechanical skills developed along the way and or as side hustle skill builder type gigs taken oppertunistically.

Learning new things and working with others more skilled than I always pays off. I end up with the skill and have a pool of help available should I need it. I myself can help others too.

First change was from manufacturing as a prototype mechanic / planning production mfg engineer to pre-sales and training related to then high end CAD software and related systems engineering. (Sgi IRIX and Win NT) I could make almost anything I modeled.

Second change was from the CAD position to General management and engineering R&D at a small company needing some of both. This was fun. I got to use all accumulated skills. I picked up several more.

Third change was into the Additive Manufacturing industry as services lead, moving into product development.

Fourth and current is tech founder in an additive related startup about to be funded. This one also allows me to use all accumulated skills. Same industry, so this is more like a move, not change.

That is three real, leave old career behind type moves.

Times change, I tend to go where the opportunity is and will do what it takes to rapidly master new aspects while employing what I know and mentoring others, usually seeking to help make more of my type available. I have a few to my credit, all doing things in ways similar to my own path.

None of that was easy. Some of it was very difficult. All of it was fun and rewarding

The best thing I did along the way was to network, cultivate friendships and help others. When I need the same, I usually get it gladly.

thelastinuit• 2 years ago

11 years ago i left my PhD in theoretical physics. I started so happy in 2008 and left in discontent 'cuz the corruption and culture of the institution. I started it for the love of knowledge so it was easy to leave evethough i wws about to finish. I left as a protest, i hope it had caused some ripple effects (i lost any form of contact since i left). Maybe that's the reality oh things but i wanted to do research just for the love of curiosity and knowledge but gosh why do we humans corrupt eveything? anywho... this feels right at home.

Mourning and moving on: rituals for leaving a career (2014)

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