User read the manual, followed instructions, still couldn't make 'Excel' work

https://www.theregister.com/2023/11/24/on_call/

by LorenDB • 3 years ago

59 86 3 years ago

jenadine• 3 years ago

TLDR; The user clicked a screenshot of Excel in the documentation, thought it was the app itself, and got surprised it didn't react to input.

tom_• 3 years ago

This sort of thing trips me up all the time when I'm collecting screen grabs.

rob74• 3 years ago

Especially on a smartphone - tap... tap... tap......??? d'oh!

adhesive_wombat• 3 years ago

Shades of the end of The Website is Down (2009) https://youtu.be/uRGljemfwUE

TeMPOraL• 3 years ago

TL;DR:

one of his colleagues had written a Word document with instructions on how to use Excel. To help the account managers get the message, that document included lots of illustrative screenshots.
Jeremy realized his user had clicked on a screenshot, which had grown to a size at which it was easily mistaken for Excel itself. This also explained why it would not accept input.

Also, for context, this happened in "late 1990s".

passwordoops• 3 years ago

Long winded but the punchline is worth it

solardev4• 3 years ago

The best office prank I ever pulled was on a fellow dev, probably the smartest guy in the room. He came back from lunch and all of his apps stopped working. He couldn't launch anything. He restarted the computer and still nothing would start. He eventually figured out that launching an app from search works, but nothing would launch from his desktop shortcuts.

That's because while he was having lunch, I took a screenshot of his desktop, set that screenshot as the desktop background, and then hid the dock and deleted all his real icons :) (Well, put them in a folder for easy recovery).

He just kept clicking and clicking on that screenshot for way too long. Best 15 minutes of my life...

lajosbacs• 3 years ago

Of course it is a nice prank, but best 15 minutes?

solardev4• 3 years ago

The secret to happiness is low expectations :)

a012• 3 years ago

It’s fun and game but nowadays if someone didn’t lock their computer when away then we’ll have a security incident to report

solardev4• 3 years ago

It gets better. I think it was actually set to auto lock after a minute or two, but I had practiced the routine on my own computer a few times first and managed to get it down to like ten seconds.

He went to the bathroom right before heading out for lunch. I had my window. I did it quickly, and then joined him for lunch, keeping a straight face the whole time. When we came back I nonchalantly asked about some code for him to review but he was like hold on...

Didn't suspect me until way too late :D

But then after that, every time some random error popped up, he was like... "solardev, what did you do this time!" Fool him once...

orthoxerox• 3 years ago

If someone on my team leaves their PC unlocked I usually start writing a self-incriminating email to cybersecurity on their PC before locking it.

Two42• 3 years ago

I've recently been driving a policy at my workplace that if you find a PC unlocked, you send out an email blast promising donuts (also copying in the victim). The victim then has a choice: admit to a security breach and have to sit through a training session, or follow through with donuts. This incentivises reporting, and disincentivises leaving your computer unlocked through social, economic and experiental means

MobileVet• 3 years ago

Haha. I did the exact same thing to a boss. We all had a good laugh and he stopped leaving his computer unlocked.

WediBlino2• 3 years ago

I used to enjoy having the screensaver show a picture of a BSOD

WediBlino2• 3 years ago

Infact Sysinternals used to have a screen saver scr file with a selection of BSODs from various operating systems

gosub100• 3 years ago

At work I tried the XP background that looks like the LCD cracked, and a picture of IE with ALL the spammy toolbars installed (such as Bonzi Buddy)

JJMcJ• 3 years ago

deleted all his real icons

Everything else you've described is amusing but if your recovery had failed, that's close to a fireable offense.

checkyoursudo2• 3 years ago

Having icons on the desktop is the real fireable offence.

phpisthebest2• 3 years ago

I am more disappointed that any dev would use desktop shortcuts...

wruza3• 3 years ago

What? Why?

Waterluvian2• 3 years ago

We did this all the time in high school and it was never not funny.

Windows 98/XP pre-YouTube was a really fun time for “you’ve got tech but you still have to make your own fun.”

matheusmoreira• 3 years ago

Before a certain school presentation I moved all the power point files into the windows startup folder and turned off the machine. The shenanigans that ensued had my friends and I laughing for two hours straight.

MichaelRo• 3 years ago

Never in all my jobs except for one, inappropriate one that I actually quit, would someone even dream of sitting at my unlocked computer without my permission and acknowledgement and do stuff behind my back be it pranks or admin stuff. It's beyond taboo, it's something that might get you punched in the face around here.

InCityDreams• 3 years ago

Where i am, the offence is leaving your station open for others to mess with.

I_Am_Nous4• 3 years ago

I work at a SOC2 audited business and had a coworker who would routinely leave his PC unlocked. I would routinely set his desktop background to My Little Pony. He would routinely get grumpy at me and tell me not to touch his computer. I would routinely tell him I can't touch his computer if he locks it.

It was a great way to train someone to follow SOC2 requirements.

jyunwai• 3 years ago

I've heard that the culture of some workplaces can even encourage this, as there is training value for developing good habits (though I haven't been at an organization like this myself).

The idea is that users are trained and regularly reminded to always lock their computers when they step away for cybersecurity. So, if they forget, their computer is relatively harmlessly messed with (like with changing the desktop background).

The consequences are then trivial, in contrast to potentially severe if a person left their computer unlocked with unvetted people coming in and out of the office during an event, or if they left their laptop unattended in a public area.

solardev4• 3 years ago

Just for context, we were quite young, and it was quite a small business. It was a mom and pop that started as a mail-order catalog, and we were hired to modernize their web presence.

Now, by "web presence", it's true they had a website. And it was made with HTML. Lots and lots of HTML, in fact, as in thousands upon thousands of hand-edited, non-version-controlled files on disk that they'd manually curated over the years.

We didn't exactly have a cybersecurity team or defined best practices. But we were treated well and worked together well. (Still friends with that dev a decade later!).

It was also a really small town. We all hung out after work, went to the lake, climbing, whatever. Lived a few houses apart from each other (or sometimes in the same house, lol). We trusted each other. Had to. It's the kind of environment where relationships took precedence over rules.

Looking back, it was definitely an uncommonly intimate situation, but it was awesome!

Two42• 3 years ago

I'm not sure you're a very fun coworker - also, using anger/taboo to cover for lax security seems a teeny bit toxic.

Lewton• 3 years ago

It is extremely unprofessional to leave your computer unlocked at work and I consider it a sign of gross incompetence

jrace• 3 years ago

You think punching someone in the face is ok, but changing there desktop background is going to far?

JohnFen• 3 years ago

might get you punched in the face around here.

Damn! I'm glad I don't work with people riding on the edge of being violent like that.

narag• 3 years ago

My best prank was loosening the plug for my buddy's keyboard. It was perfect because:

- The guy was always making fun of everybody else

- I did it while talking with him in his desk so the others could see what I was doing

- I just loosened it, not unplugged it, so the keyboard stopped working after a while, when I was already back on my seat

- Everybody was LOL and he had no idea why, just complaining the damn computer hanged

eastbound• 3 years ago

Sounds like harassment.

tobr• 3 years ago

A more elaborate version of this prank is to combine it with two more steps: unplug the mouse (or turn off Bluetooth), plus also put tape or a sticky note on the underside of the mouse, covering the sensor. Voila, they will have to troubleshoot the malfunctioning mouse three times in a row.

NeoTar• 3 years ago

At one company we talked about doing the ultimate version of that prank (which ultimately would make it easier to discover)…

1. Unplug the mouse, 2. Cover the mouse sensor with tape, 3. Replace the desktop with a screenshot, 4. Flip the screen 180 degrees, 5. Print out the screen, and tack it in front of the monitor…

rvba• 3 years ago

When you maximize a video for full screen you get those messages that give a warning. Those seem to be impossible to remove due to a potential of abuse by hackers.

frereubu• 3 years ago

For those adding a TLDR here - the enjoyment of this kind of story is not in the bare facts, it's in the telling, surely?

tgv• 3 years ago

Indeed. We, technical folks for all I know, simply don't expect the answer. I was trying to guess what was happening while reading, and was pleasantly surprised. Summarizing it is like

TL;DR Your mom

csours2• 3 years ago

I'm left handed, and I previously put my mouse on the left side of the keyboard. I eventually stopped because video games assume you'll use your left hand on the keyboard for wasd movement etc. I blame this for my poor performance, I used to be good at video games.

Anyway, one day at work, my team lead comes over and tries to use my mouse to show me something. It's not moving. They do a double take, pick up the mouse, and realize it's an orange that was sitting to the right side of my keyboard.

Waterluvian2• 3 years ago

That’s hilarious. I was once in a lecture hall with a friend who was a lefty. I forgot my mouse that day and was using my trackpad. But after break I instinctively came back, sat down, put my hand on my mouse and began driving.

He looks at me, my hand on his, on his mouse, and just says, “this isn’t pottery.”

scooke• 3 years ago

I feel like someone ought to acknowledge the Ghost reference for you. Thanks.

heelix• 3 years ago

Pulled a funny on the developer in the cube across from me. Plugged in a second mouse into his computer, and would occasionally wiggle it a bit. He was absolutely sure the office was monitoring everything he did. "It moved again!" Walk around to his side -- nothing. "I'm not crazy. It moved"

_puk• 3 years ago

One favourite is to simply spin the magic mouse 180 degrees on the desk..

Takes a few seconds to work out what is going on, every time:)

nier• 3 years ago

I’m right handed and taught myself to also use the mouse with my left hand but only when playing games. For movement and all the extra functions, it made more sense to me to use the numerical keypad with my dominant right hand.

When typing, I can accept the rows of letter keys being shifted horizontally, but it just feels weird using that part of the keyboard for games.

ulizzle• 3 years ago

The classic pair programming conundrum.

tharkun__2• 3 years ago

I'm curious why the default keyboard layout of games is of particular issue to a lefty?

Asking because while I am not a lefty, I created my own standard 3D game layout way before games made wasd standard. The very first thing in every single game is to go to settings and reconfigure.

If you are wondering, it's basically just one to the right. ESDF, which is superior to wasd because it gives more keys to access without having to reach very far. In particular it avoids having to use caps lock, which in some games doesn't even work or it is at the very least very annoying when turning the game off or alt+tabbing out (say coz you died and want to do something other than watch while you wait).

As a lefty it seems very conceivable to me that something like uhjk would work comparably?

csours2• 3 years ago

Well.... when I started gaming, remapping keys was not a standard capability. And then, it's not just wasd you have to remap. And, again, back in the day your settings did not persist in the cloud. Overall, it just didn't feel worth it. I thought I would eventually catch up with right hand mouse, but I feel like I still don't have the same dexterity that I did.

Also, just my 2 cents worth - no matter how much better your capabilities are - users hate changes

https://www.nngroup.com/articles/consistency-and-standards/

davidgerard• 3 years ago

I had RSI and moved my mouse at work to the left and swapped the buttons. Fantastic for infuriating anyone grabbing my mouse.

nullhole• 3 years ago

Funny that reading the manual was the source of, not the solution to, the problem.

The British-sounding phrase "uppity know-it-all whose seniority level was substantially above their competency level"* is a nice one to put in the memory banks for future use.

This reminds me of the classic web-comedy 'The Website Is Down', the first episode of which has a version of the error path in question as a plot point.

* To be clear to those who didn't read the article, the user in question was not in that category

melagonster• 3 years ago

maybe this is the point. the user is so friendly that op remember him.

mrweasel• 3 years ago

Years back I was called in to our accountants office due to a "bug" in SAP. I was demonstrated that when you try to do so-and-so it would not work. After clicking around and filling in a few fields an error message appeared and the accountant made a sound of annoyance and quickly closed the popup with the error, not reading or processing it's content. I was just presented with "See, doesn't work!". Okay, but can we do it again and you don't close the error box? Second time around she refrained from closing the error message, which VERY clearly stated that she had forgotten to fill in a field in the previous form. I just walked away quietly.

wredue2• 3 years ago

Sadly, this affliction impacts even the tech savvy. It’s super annoying to get a random teams call from a co-worker, who proceeds to instantly “OKAY” past the error message for the third time that day.

Just read the message dude. How many times have we been over this.

tecoholic• 3 years ago

Reminds me of the time when an aunt of mine complained that the clock in her android phone doesn’t work. Nor can she launch any of the apps on the home screen except the home row (bottom one with phone and contacts). She has been opening the full app drawer for all her apps.

Her grandson had taken a screenshot of the phone’s home screen, set it as the wallpaper and removed everything except the bottom row icons.

pimlottc• 3 years ago

This is a legit problem when including screenshots in a document. The worst is when there's a screenshot of a video player, with a big play button on the thumbnail. Your brain just wants to click it and doesn't understand why it won't play.

So please, when you're including screenshots, put a border around it, or an overlay, or a caption, anything that helps make it clear this is just a still image and not an active control!

lhamil64• 3 years ago

Hell, I'm a software engineer and have made this mistake with video players a couple times. Makes me feel pretty dumb.

johnchristopher• 3 years ago

Be me.

Be doing website mock-ups with Photoshop before coding them (which was the style at the time), different mock-ups, send different JPEGs, even some PSD to toggle stuff.

Client says "Anon, site is broken, clicking links don't work !".

back and forth on the phone

Turns out client is clicking on links in the PSD.

Did I mention client was running their own 2 person design agency at the time ?

wkjagt• 3 years ago

I was recently following along with a video tutorial (on FreeRTOS) where the person was live coding in VSCode, which is what I also use. He would type in code while also reading the code out loud. I was switching between the video and my own editor to type along with him, and at the same time try out some other stuff in the same code.

I stepped away for something, and when I came back, clicked in my code to place the cursor where I thought I had left, and to my surprise the editor started to write the code by itself while also reading it out loud. It was of course the video, but I was pretty tired and it took me a bit to realize. A very confusing experience.

User read the manual, followed instructions, still couldn't make 'Excel' work

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