How to Calm a Crying Baby Like a Mesopotamian

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/crying-baby-in-mesopotamia

by diodorus • 7 years ago

175 116 7 years ago

"Along with songs, the text suggests parents rub dust from a significant street, doorway, or even a grave—perhaps representing an ominous, ultimate silence—on a wailing baby."

ToshioSaeki• 7 years ago

Ah!

Nice from you to mention dust from a grave....

As some other commenter in this thread mentioned "swinging back and forth"

And this is about children....

We have all the ingredients for a spooking horrifying japanese horror movie, the best of his kind

When Toshio swings the guy....

The name of this movie is Ju-On, The Grudge

But Toshio first apparition is in the movie 4444444444

https://ju-on-the-grudge.fandom.com/wiki/Toshio_Saeki

DoreenMichele11• 7 years ago

If you have a crying baby, check the diaper and check if they are hungry. Then calm yourself. You want your heartbeat and breathing to be slow, steady, calming and reassuring while you hold them and walk the floor with them.

Have a routine. Always hold them the same way so it becomes part of the signal. Etc.

Never spend more than 15 minutes trying to get them to sleep. If they won't go to sleep in that time, go play with them. They probably aren't mentally tired yet.

Try again to feed them, check the diaper, see if they are too warm, too cold, etc. Then try again to get them to sleep.

If it's a chronic issue, start a journal and see if you can find a pattern. They may be allergic to a particular juice they are getting. They may need a different formula because the one they are on is causing tummy aches. Etc.

philshem• 7 years ago

Self-promotion[0], but as a physicist dad, I never found the pattern:

Unfortunately, while physics problems have solutions that are constant, baby-related problems have solutions that are random and change from day to day. What had worked yesterday will not work today. Maybe it will work tomorrow. This is the gist of the Baby Universe.

[0] https://medium.com/@philshem/life-in-the-baby-universe-f5256...

girzel• 7 years ago

I'm finding this to be the case as well. You're trying to detect complex patterns that can take a good week to suss out and influence, and yet which are changing on approximately that same timeframe. You're continually behind the bus.

DoreenMichele11• 7 years ago

I had a total stranger joke "You're hired!" when I got her crying baby to sleep (after she failed) while she led a tour of her new custom home that included me in the tour. It was a party my sister took me to.

(shrug)

microtherion2• 7 years ago

Also known as "The Harvard Law of Animal Behavior": "Under controlled experimental conditions of temperature, time, lighting, feeding, and training, the organism will behave as it damn well pleases."

semi-extrinsic• 7 years ago

They may be allergic to a particular juice they are getting.

I'll just say it: don't give your baby juice. It's bad for just about everything, and good for basically nothing.

Babies should be breastfed, or given formula, and then gradually introduced to solid foods like oatmeal, mashed bananas/apples as they grow older.

Once they're toddlers and done with breastfeeding/formula, give them water to drink. Anything else is just a net negative.

dpark• 7 years ago

Agreed. The only times juice is appropriate for a baby is if they are at risk of dehydration (at which point give them anything they’ll drink) or if they’re constipated (the sugar in juice can stimulate the digestive system).

In general juice isn’t particularly healthy for anyone. It’s sugar water.

gscott• 7 years ago

Plus sometimes if you have checked all of the essentials then let your baby cry for a bit.

DoreenMichele11• 7 years ago

I think I did that exactly once to let him know he wasn't actually emperor of the universe (cuz: Reasons). In my extended family, "just let the baby cry" is simply not standard policy.

When one relative was told the baby had colic and "just let the baby cry," the parents changed the baby's formula. The so-called colic went away. The baby stopped crying all the time.

munificent• 7 years ago

Then calm yourself.

Easier said than done when an infant is wailing into your face!

Advice like this is good, and well-intentioned. But I know that when I had babies, the last thing I wanted was advice that made it seem like there was a simple process to make any baby happy and that if I couldn't make it work I must be doing something wrong.

Your diagnostic is pretty good. With mine, the main three things I checked where diaper?, hungry?, tired?, in that order. Eventually, I could usually tell which it was by the sound of the crying. But sometimes babies just cry. That's OK too and doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. Kids are little entropy generators — they will bring chaos into your life and no amount of advice will neutralize all of it.

DoreenMichele11• 7 years ago

Easier said than done when an infant is wailing into your face!

Once I saw with my own eyes what a powerful positive effect this had on my baby, it got lots easier to just take a minute to calm myself down as the first step of the process. It only failed in cases where I was breastfeeding and had eaten a thing that was bothering my baby, baby had been fed juice they were allergic to because we were out and about and ran out of formula and I bought what seemed like the least worst thing for them or similar circumstances.

The adult heart is so much larger than the baby's heart that it literally helps set the tempo for the baby, like a drum beat coordinating a group effort.

And I have health problems, I'm anxiety prone, etc etc etc. This was an empowering experience. I don't need to manipulate my baby or sing a lullaby, etc. I just need to be calm myself and, if there aren't hidden problems, this will help baby calm down and go to sleep.

My sister's baby had serious sleep issues. I visited for a month to serve as the nanny. This had such a big positive impact, they rearranged furniture to support the routine I established for the baby. The baby still had sleep issues, but it was a vast improvement over things before the month I spent caring for the infant.

I was just really good with babies in my youth.

amluto• 7 years ago

Sometimes, a good pair of earplugs is helpful.

js2• 7 years ago

Easier said than done when an infant is wailing into your face

Our daughter's crying never bothered me and I could always calm her. Our son's crying shattered my brain and I'd often have to hand him off to his mom.

pbhjpbhj7• 7 years ago

That's one of my lines too "sometimes babies just cry".

One thing that helped us from 6 months onwards is sign language. Start at 6 months and by 9-10 months they can start signing back to you; if they can tell you they need the potty (we started that when they started solids), or are hungry, or want mum, or whatever it makes things much easier IMO.

jacobolus4• 7 years ago

Checking a diaper and figuring out if they are hungry is a good first step (and I would add burping the baby a bit, and making sure their nose isn’t stuffed up), but the rest of this advice is a bit misdirected in my opinion, and ignores the most effective actionable things parents can do to shush a crying baby.

Namely, what pediatrician Harvey Karp calls the “5 S’s” of (1) swaddling the baby, (2) holding the baby on their side/stomach, (3) loudly shushing in the baby’s ear, (4) swinging the baby back and forth, (5) giving the baby something to suck on.

Go find Dr. Karp’s “happiest baby” video or other videos of people performing these steps, as text posts don’t really convey the idea fully.

These techniques are extremely effective on the vast majority of babies (usually just shushing and swinging is enough for my current newborn), but many new parents don’t know about them or do them improperly. In particular, shushing needs to be a very loud constant white noise, and the rocking/jiggling/swinging of the baby should be a bit more vigorous than new parents might naturally do.

opless2• 7 years ago

#4, and #5 for sure.

My niece was upset due to just being fed and her stomach having the usual baby issues, a bit of jiggling on my lap with my little finger to suck on calmed her right down as mum was having a bit of a meltdown due to lack of sleep, and baby being super demanding. Niece was asleep in no time due to being handled confidently and noticing what was working and what wasn't.

One size most certainly doesn't fit all.

cheerlessbog• 7 years ago

A lot of this seems to be suggestive of the womb: shushing (like a heart beat or breathing), fixing the temperature and light, swaddling, rocking...

philliphaydon2• 7 years ago

I don’t like the wording of 4. Don’t swing the baby. Rock the baby gently. The movement is often a distraction and soothing them. Swinging almost sounds like you’re shaking them. (I know we are referring to the same thing just don’t like the word swing)

When my Daughter was born I was the one who dealt with her at night time for 4 weeks after our confinement nanny left. To get her to sleep I would swaddle her, hold her on her side in my arms and rock her gently while saying “shushhhhhhhhh in her ear till she calmed down” she would fall asleep in about 2 minutes. Then I would place her in the cot slowly and pat her bum for 5 minutes. Then she would sleep for 3-4 hours till next feed.

I had never heard of the 5 S’s but the similar things I did they do work.

kaitai• 7 years ago

But also, just experiment with your kid! Mine did not like loud noises or big movements. That's cool. When it was time for kid to sleep, we left kid to sleep -- and kid went to sleep with no mechanical aid. Kid hates white noise, as do I. It was good to find this out -- saved us all hours of bouncing and rocking and shushing.

dirktheman• 7 years ago

We had a fussy baby and somehow I got hold of this book. "Well that won't work", I thought. But sure enough, she started crying, I put her on her stomach on my underarm (like a football), swaddled and shushed, and it worked like a charm! And indeed, I had to swing her a bit harder than you would expect (not to the point where it would feel uncomfortable, of course).

Also: vacuum cleaners make great white noise machines.

zrail• 7 years ago

These techniques are so, so effective. The video is probably the best single gift anyone can give to a new parent.

We’re currently renting the SNOO, which is a bassinet that automates some of this stuff for pre-crawling babies. It’s been very effective in helping our youngest sleep through the night at a much earlier age than her older sister. It’s basically a robot night nanny.

tootie2• 7 years ago

1 and 2 worked for me. But bear in mind that these are tricks to avoid or induce newborn reflexes. They will all stop working within a few months as they outgrow instinctive behavior.

mncharity14• 7 years ago

When breast feeding, maternal diet can strongly influence digestive distress. Mom eats the wrong thing, and the baby becomes unhappy. Years back, a friend was very disciplined about starting small, incrementally expanding her diet, and using backtracking and search to fix regressions. Now amidst the flood of new parent mail, was a brochure of easy recipes for new moms. She was bemused that she couldn't use a single recipe in it, as they all had ingredients she'd recorded as distressing her infant. The brochure was from Nestle. (EDIT: maker of baby formula, variously amoral)

DoreenMichele11• 7 years ago

Thank you.

That was one of the biggest epiphanies for me as a new parent. It had never occurred to me that what I ate would impact the baby that way.

I had physics and chemistry and advanced math in high school, but was completely shocked as a new parent in my early twenties to learn that I would bleed for up to six weeks post partum and a zillion other things.

I still think better parenting info is desperately needed in this world. It's shocking what we don't cover that has such tremendous long term impact on human life.

vnorilo• 7 years ago

I recall one particularly difficult evening/night after I decided it was a good idea to cook a delicious, chili heavy thai dish for my wife.

majjam• 7 years ago

Is there any chance you could share your friend’s list? I’m expecting a baby soon and this sounds like it would be very useful...

NeedMoreTea2• 7 years ago

Highly immoral - they still advertise formula as preferable to breast feeding in many parts of the world. I wouldn't trust any advice from them.

Have been avoiding all Nestle group products for over 20 years.

andy_ppp• 7 years ago

The potential for false positives here seems astronomical...

ryannevius• 7 years ago

Then calm yourself.
Never spend more than 15 minutes trying to get them to sleep.

This is a great opportunity to do some mindfulness meditation – which can help with the calmness issue. I wish I would have known that when I was raising a newborn.

z3t4• 7 years ago

Baby assembly language, instruction set:

    neh = hungry (give food)
    aww = tired (put to sleep)
    eii = unconformable (change diaper)
    aii = gripes (gases, need to burp)

kiliantics• 7 years ago

There is apparently research which shows the crying has a different tone depending on the baby's issue and it is indeed hardwired and common across all infants

Angostura2• 7 years ago

Unless it’s colic, in which case be prepared to hold your squirming, squealing infant for about 4 hours every evening for several weeks

glaberficken• 7 years ago

Also, babies get numb limbs from not being able to move in the bed/crib. Hence why holding them from a bit and changing their position might help.

Fnoord3• 7 years ago

Good advice.

Although calming myself and slowing my heartbeat is difficult and impractical if I just drank coffee.

madez2• 7 years ago

Coffee also makes the milk taste bad. Caring for an infant is a stressful and unforgiving task that requires mental stability, so I'd recommend to avoid coffee completely while caring for a baby.

tootie2• 7 years ago

Keeping yourself calm is so huge. We realized with our second kid. We were so nervous with our first and did all the tricks and yelled at each other about doing them wrong or forgetting whatever accessories we needed. Babies sense the tension and amplify it. We were so chill with the second kid and he slept well very quickly without the bag of tricks because we were always calm even when he was screaming.

ConfusedDog• 7 years ago

I thought it's gonna be some cruel recommendation like threaten the baby... it turns out just threaten the parents to take care of babies. That's a relief.

weinzierl• 7 years ago

Along with songs, the text suggests parents rub dust from a significant street, doorway, or even a grave—perhaps representing an ominous, ultimate silence—on a wailing baby.

[...]

Scholars believe these words likely originated in folk poetry that had been transmitted orally for years before being written down sometime between 500 and 300 B.C.

So the sandman myth is not Northern European folklore after all but originated more than 2500 years ago in the Middle East.

imgabe• 7 years ago

If nothing else the baby might stop crying momentarily while it's confused about what you're rubbing on it.

autoexec3• 7 years ago

Rubbing street dirt on babies should also improve their immune system so they won't get sick as often.

fallous• 7 years ago

I've raised three kids and was working with a guy who brought his sixth child to the office to take care of while his wife was away with work. His child was a month or two old and was pretty fussy and co-worker seemed to be at his wit's end. I asked him if he had tried the "off" switch, which he had never heard of. I started calmly and regularly stroking the baby's forehead from the mid-forehead to between the eyes. Kid was out like a light in less than a minute. Co-worker asked me how I knew that trick and I asked him how he didn't given this was his sixth kid.

I wonder if the "rub dust" method originated with something like this but used the dust component as a means of justification/explanation to people so that they would be focused on calmly applying the dust rather than going overboard with the stroke on the forehead due to frustration.

blub• 7 years ago

Bringing a 2mo old baby to the office has great potential to obliterate the productivity of the entire team... I'm really surprised that the management accepted this instead of giving the guy some days off.

This is mandated by law in some EU countries, but I assume the companies don't like it.

senorsmile• 7 years ago

As a wannabe Assyriologist, I was really hoping there'd be an actual line by line translation; or better yet, a link to one of the online cuneiform sites offered the cuneiform, transliteration and translation.

microtherion2• 7 years ago

Probably something along the lines of:

    Hush, little baby, don't cry a storm
    Daddy's gonna read you a cuneiform
    And if that cuneiform should crack
    Daddy's gonna buy you a ziggurat…

mcguire• 7 years ago

May not be the same text, but ETCSL has "A lullaby for a son of Šulgi (Šulgi N)":

http://etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/cgi-bin/etcsl.cgi?text=c.2.4.2....

http://etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/cgi-bin/etcsl.cgi?text=t.2.4.2....

hutzlibu• 7 years ago

Beeing a fresh new father myself ... so far beeing calm yourself worked amazing.

And even though they are so tiny and breakable ... just hold them and relax and breath slowly, then the baby will relax along your heartbeat (so that the mother can have a shower).

But who knows, in a few days we might also try the mesopotamian spell ...

karussell• 7 years ago

I was curious if monkey babies also cry (I really thought they don't due to deadly consequences) but found this:

https://www.livescience.com/7778-crying-baby-monkeys-nerves....

There is an interesting quote:

mothers appear to pay attention to who's around when their young cry. Semple's team observed that when dominant bystanders were nearby, mothers acquiesced to their babies' demands about twice as often as when they were alone or in the company of close relatives, which are more forgiving of tantrums.
The study shows for the first time that, much like people, monkeys are aware of the social consequences of not only their own actions, but those of their babies, too.

icxa• 7 years ago

Your baby's first ~3 months is basically the "4th trimester" but just outside the womb. It basically explains why things like swaddling work so well for their sleep at this age, and why shush sounds work (because it supposedly mimics how the baby hears the mother breathing inside the womb of the mother). Also counter-intuitively to a new parent, why perfect stillness didn't really matter for her sleep and actually a little movement ended up being better. Invest in a good rocking chair is probably the best advice I can give any parent! Don't cheap out here, you are going to be spending a lot of time in it!

Roedou• 7 years ago

The book "Happiest Baby on the Block" goes into a lot of detail about this. I've not read it, but watched the ~10 minute video that accompanied it.

It was possibly the most useful 10 minutes of new-parent advice we could have gotten. Definitely try to find that book; highly recommended.

How to Calm a Crying Baby Like a Mesopotamian

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