My co-founder wants to bring his wife as a late joining co-founder

In 2020 (I was sophomore student in undergrad school), a close friend and I, then undergraduates, developed software now used by several research labs, particularly in the neurotech field. As a second-year master's student about to begin a PhD, and my friend a second-year PhD student, we've been the primary contributors (99% of the codebase) to this project. Over the years, we've also recruited new students to our team.

Recently, a month ago, we welcomed a new research assistant into our group. Subsequently, she and my friend started a personal relationship and are planning to marry. Amidst this, we began preparing for a venture competition submission. She has indeed contributed significantly, facilitating discussions with other companies and forming some partnerships, though often with my friend's involvement. My co-founder now proposes to grant her co-founder status with over 10% equity.

I'm concerned about the fairness of this decision to other team members who have been with us for over a year, contributing significantly to our project. Additionally, I feel somewhat sidelined, as my friend and the new member often reach consensus without involving me in the preliminary discussions.

I seek advice on handling this situation, especially regarding the proposed equity distribution and the changing team dynamics. How can I address these issues while maintaining both our professional relationships and the startup's integrity?

Thank you.