Loneliness reshapes the brain

https://www.quantamagazine.org/how-loneliness-reshapes-the-brain-20230228/

by theafh • 3 years ago

279 180 3 years ago

quantamagazine.org

LanceMagnussen• 3 years ago

scary to think how it has an actual physical outcome

Jensson• 3 years ago

social isolation and environmental monotony

So not just loneliness, but boredom in general.

elevenoh• 3 years ago

In one experiment conducted in Switzerland, after volunteers took psilocybin, the psychoactive compound in magic mushrooms, they reported feeling less socially excluded.
lonely people tend to focus excessively on unpleasant social cues, such as being ignored by others

take mushrooms help fight the epidemic of victim mentality ;)

LoganDark• 3 years ago

hehe I wish~

GalenErso• 3 years ago

Are we lonely if we are on HN?

bacchusracine• 3 years ago

That's my secret. I'm always lonely.

vstm• 3 years ago

You merely adopted the loneliness, I was born in it :-(

cubefox4• 3 years ago

In general, we have a lot of interactions online, but unfortunately those do not have the positive effects physical contacts have.

On HN we are normally not even "online friends" with specific other users. The users are identifiable just as some little grey nickname. Who even is this "GalenErso" guy? Or "cubefox"? What are they up to? We might as well all post anonymously, the outcome would basically be the same.

That's not a natural way to interact, no wonder the brain breaks a little if it does not much else.

politician• 3 years ago

Not to mention that HN has specific technological countermeasures to prevent genuine conversations between two users from developing. Specifically, the response rate limiter and the absence of a response awareness or notification system.

dbavaria• 3 years ago

I'm still embarrassed to say "My online friends", but they've often had a huge impact on my life.

passion__desire• 3 years ago

A meme from totally random stranger teaches you more about life than a close physical friend.

jimbokun5• 3 years ago

If it’s your only social outlet, yes.

seydor2• 3 years ago

Yes

grugagag2• 3 years ago

Only being in the presence of others makes one feel a little bit less alone. The presence being digital makes it less effective in some ways but it still counts for something. Imagine not even having anyone to exchange a few likeminded thoughts with… HN, being a quite varied community could facilitate that for most.

But we indeed do need more than this for a fulfilling life. Lonelinese could as well be temporary and one could feel less alone in different ways.

pram• 3 years ago

When I was in my early 20s I was on a weird night shift for work, so I didn’t do anything outside. I only talked a bit to some coworkers, and everyone on the internet was sleeping when I was awake. Additionally I never saw the sun during the winter months.

I started developing really bad paranoia, and began hearing voices in my dreams. Like random fabricated female/male voices having unintelligible conversations. So yeah I was going literally crazy. I’m not surprised at all that my brain was probably physically decaying.

PicassoCTs• 3 years ago

Paranoia is a side effect of the brain repairing ones self-esteem. The world is ignoring you, you are more unimportant then ever and totally social isolated (night shift or service jobs in other countries does that to you). But at least, important government organizations and conspiracies are out to get you.

Guess the next chance to really connect with people will be, when we all meet at the server farm to burn this nightmare down.

CadmiumYellow• 3 years ago

During the initial covid lockdown I lived alone. I didn't see another person face to face from the first week of March 2020 til the end of May. In the grand scheme of things it wasn't that long but by the end of that period of time I was experiencing mild hallucinations the majority of the time. I saw things moving in my peripheral vision that weren't really there and I frequently heard what I thought was music playing, but when I went to investigate it it would just be some very minor environmental noise like a tree branch scraping the side of my apartment building. I completely believe that isolation does weird things to your brain. I'm glad I didn't have to experience it any longer than that!

ROTMetro3• 3 years ago

I live like this right now. I'll sometimes smell someone cooking things? No, not toast ;)

In solitary in prison it would get to the point I could look at the paint texture on the walls and see everything from a simple face to whole landscapes. The one thing I never saw was words or even letters.

recuter• 3 years ago

I got stuck in a severe lockdown of about 5 months. No hallucinations.

Can sort of understand how that might happen, seems similar to being marooned on an island. I had something like that happen to me as well but only for two days where it was touch and go, perhaps that prepared me for covid.

Worth considering what kind of mentality is necessary to survive in such situations and whether you can adopt it when you notice the start of the spiral.

This is written with empathy. In case of any future lockdowns or life curveballs.

Llamamoe• 3 years ago

This is so weird to me. My life has gone bad, and I've spent close to a decade in social isolation, often many months at a time. While I'm definitely not fine, it's weird to read about how badly much shorter and less intense experiences affect people.

yamazakiwi5• 3 years ago

It annoys me that this article keeps equating being alone to loneliness. Not everyone feels lonely while alone for extended periods of time. I can spend months alone and never feel lonely.

nicoburns• 3 years ago

When you say you can spend months alone, do you mean literally alone - not interacting with anyone during that time at all?

danwee• 3 years ago

I would say they mean minimal interaction: going to the supermarket and say 'Thanks' to the cashier and things like that...

yamazakiwi5• 3 years ago

I used to do it a lot in the military, months alone in a server room on a ship, eating alone because I'm working nights. This might sound like a nightmare to some but it's my most extreme example and I loved it. Honestly, it's relaxing not having to deal with people's problems all the time. I deal with people very frequently in my current role and I miss the peace and quiet.

Most psychologists will tell you "we're very social creatures" but I was VERY social for so long that now it just feels like a waste of my time. People are quick to throw their problems on everyone around them, I get tired of the neediness, the games people play, the ego trips, all of it. It's sort of like a been there, done that, not interested anymore.

giantg22• 3 years ago

And some people can be with others and still feel lonely.

syedkarim• 3 years ago

And it’s also possible to experience loneliness while being surrounded by people.

jimt1234• 3 years ago

This ^^^ Being surrounded by people and feeling lonely is a lot worse than simply not being around people.

lapcat• 3 years ago

It annoys me that this article keeps equating being alone to loneliness.

It doesn't: "Social isolation, a related condition, is different — it’s an objective measure of how few relationships a person has. The experience of loneliness has to be self-reported"

yamazakiwi5• 3 years ago

It does...

It states that yes; ironically, it also uses them interchangeably multiple times throughout the article.

achairapart• 3 years ago

I'm a bit like you, I do like my time being alone and I almost never feel lonely.

But I also know people who do silly things when facing the fear of being alone. For them, perhaps being alone equals to loneliness. For sure, it makes them suffer.

UniverseHacker• 3 years ago

Exactly, the two are quite different. I have felt very lonely when at home with a romantic partner in a bad relationship. At other times, I have felt no loneliness while in the wilderness by myself for extended time periods, knowing I have a great network of friends, family, and a supportive partner whenever I need them.

carapace• 3 years ago

I think what you're talking about is "solitude", which is a kind of inverse of loneliness in that gives you a kind of inner strength rather than taking health away.

doodlesdev• 3 years ago

While the article is super interesting and talks about many different scientific finding I think there's an excerpt that's really important to pay attention to:

   > Of course, the chicken-and-egg question about all these findings is: Do differences in the brain predispose us to loneliness, or does loneliness rewire and shrink the brain? According to Bzdok, it’s not currently possible to solve this puzzle. He believes, however, that the causality may point both ways.

So the truth is "Loneliness Reshapes the Brain" might not really be true and it's possible it's the other way around. Anyhow we understand so little about the brain we'll probably just be speculating for a few decades about this. However, one thing's sure, we are social animals, and that 100% means being isolated is bad for whatever your body has evolved to do over the course of millennia.

giantg22• 3 years ago

Well I'm fucked

getYeGone2• 3 years ago

Hard not feel like shit. Yesterday there was an article on reddit about how so many young men are single and sexless, which is certainly true for me, going on 5 years. In addition to the loneliness. Feels like an epidemic.

dQw4w9WgXcQ2• 3 years ago

Make your life an RPG. Begin by greeting strangers and creating a list of small goals that gradually increase in complexity till having sex. If you require assistance, please include your email address in your profile.

skilled5• 3 years ago

The society we live in shoves loneliness down your throat and goes on to celebrate that.

So, the only way out is to live through that slump and figure out who you are in this world, because it doesn't matter if you have 100 or 0 people around you - when life comes knocking, it will only ever knock on your door.

Having said that, I'd imagine that most people who are lonely do eventually come to the realization that they're confusing their emotions with reality. No medication will ever fine-tune your minds frequency to be able to hear your own voice that lives in your head.

And I think most crafty people in this world do eventually figure out that this life's short, and that spending your time worrying about bullshit (or worse yet, kicking yourself down deliberately) isn't worth it.

But I digress... If you haven't gotten to the Existential Loneliness stage yet, I suppose you're afforded some luxuries to carry on for a while still...

rootusrootus5• 3 years ago

The society we live in shoves loneliness down your throat and goes on to celebrate that.

I primarily blame the Internet (or more generally, online interaction). Aside from little bits of oasis like HN (which, of course, still has no shortage of its own problems), the Internet is a big toxic brew of hate. Sometimes old school hate (racism, etc), but hate over everything else. Hate for people who like Teslas, or iPhones, or pickup trucks, or cars in general, or single family houses, etc. It feels like everyone believes the rest of the world wants to hear them bitch. (yes, here I am, bitching)

No wonder everyone feels lonely, it is hard to get any connection in such an environment.

Sometimes I think it endangers my own sanity, the more I am exposed to it, and I kinda want to /dev/null everything but wikipedia. LOL.

Damogran6• 3 years ago

Is it, though? Yes, hate for something other people love (Teslas in your example) is everywhere, but the most successful places are those that let you regulate that, regulate it for you, or the culture refuses to accept it.

I'll disengage from Twitter when it's too negative and when I return its better, either because the russian trollfarm is sleeping, or Twitter notice I disengaged and works to 'do better'.

sph4• 3 years ago

I blame the Internet for another reason: we're spending so much time online no one has time for face-to-face communication, either with friends or strangers.

I have some teenage year family members, and the amount of loneliness symptoms and behaviours I see in 16-18 years olds is staggering. I myself am suffering from it in my 30s, but I grew up in the middle of nowhere and I had more real-life interactions than most teenagers.

Online communication carries a lot of downsides, but the primary one is that is just does not activate the part of the brain that makes you feel like you're hanging out with a human. You know you're talking to a human even behind a screen, but it's just a high-level abstraction that often breaks down and is the reason even the best of people sometimes are total jerkwads online.

I grew up on the net, it gave me my first friends, and now it's making me so bloody lonely I am literally convinced I would feel more socially nourished if I lived in a shed in the woods and went to the city for shopping once a month. And there's just so many people everywhere. It's either your small Discord with the same friends, or social media at large where everyone is a stranger, just an avatar that has little to no impact whatsoever on your life.

skilled5• 3 years ago

I was having a laugh with my mother the other week, talking about childhood memories and things. I was a pretty mischievous kid when all is said and done. When I was 7 years old, I learned that you can take apart old radios, transformers, and find a lot of copper in them! And back then, you could sell a few hundred grams of copper at the scrapyard for a small fortune!

So the joke was, while we as kids used to do that stuff for real, kids nowadays do it all from their phone...

2devnull3• 3 years ago

Wikipedia is an hate filled cesspool where literal war is being waged, day in day out, year after year. If you don’t understand that, I’m guessing you don’t view the history or talk sections, which makes you a uniformed user, and arguably quite naive about how the internet works, and because of that also naive about current events. There is some good stuff on Wikipedia still, but it’s heading in the same direction as everything else. The center does not hold.

kitsunesoba• 3 years ago

While the outsize role the Internet has come to play in our lives is the source of a lot of problems I'd argue that pre-internet society had problems just as serious, but not as visible.

It was much more of an extravert's world back then, and those who were introverted or otherwise out of beat with society at large had a more difficult time trying to find somewhere to belong. The more socially-charged nature of life could sometimes be overwhelming even for introvert-leaning ambiverts. You didn't hear much about it though, because this group of people by their own nature didn't have a voice, and this was exacerbated by introvert/nerd stereotypes being used for laughs in pop culture.

But things have now clearly swung too far in the other direction. Everybody has a voice (or at least thinks they do) and takes their own opinions as universal fact. I wonder what it'll take to arrive at a happy medium.

agumonkey2• 3 years ago

When i see old cultures living in semi isolated places, doing simple stuff, and rituals in family group and carrying tradition, i think they've hit peak existence.

RobRivera• 3 years ago

to tack on, I personally feel conquering this existential loneliness is an empowerment and growth exercise. Not necessary but creates a rather clear perception of the world, with deeper meanings and vision therein

Spivak• 3 years ago

There are aspects of modern life that make it harder to make and keep friends as an adult but the biggest genuinely life changing lesson I learned is that every adult wants friends but struggles to make them. And you know what that dynamic means? You can walk up to a random adult and literally say and I quote "you seem cool, wanna be friends?" like you're on a schoolyard playground and it works.

I accidentally texted a coworker (who I have never hung out with socially) who has the same name as one of my friends if she wanted to go to a music festival with me (like 5 days close quarters camping) and she said yes without hesitation. I met another girl at a party -- I knew of her because she was a friend's friend's ex but never actually talked to her. I just declared that we were best friends, we got drunk, and skipped out at the party to hang out/meet her other friends. She's my maid of honor. Met a guy during a charity scavenger hunt where the theme was to do mildly embarrassing things in public we hit it off after I had him take a picture of me licking a bronze statue's butt. I'm now in his softball league. I met a woman on a cruise after rescuing her son from the on-deck ropes course when a huge storm hit, we live super far away but play animal crossing together.

I went from "oh no without school it's gonna be impossible to make friends" to "no actually this is a million times easier." All the stuff that makes you uncool as a teenager makes you interesting as an adult.

legerdemain• 3 years ago

"Maid of honor" suggests you identify as a woman. Experience suggests that women (at least in the US) have richer and more fluid social lives. I can easily find a good handful of "girls hanging out" social groups on Meetup in my relatively socially impoverished suburb. I suspect that my luck approaching random dudes with giant headphones on, staring intently at their laptop screens in a Starbucks will be pretty different.

curiousfiddler5• 3 years ago

My guess is you live in the West. There are other cultures in the world, where there is still a strong sense of informal community. Where you can just walk to a friend or a relative's house unannounced for a cup of tea, without thinking all the time if it would inconvenience them. It feels really amazing to have the option to do that.

I moved to the US (Bay Area) about 10 years ago after having spent much of my youth elsewhere, and to this day, I haven't been able adjust to the lack of informal social interactions compared to where I'm from. I really tried as well to see if it's me who is not able to fit in. However, after a while I realized it's just a cultural difference. It's a way of life that has existed for several decades, which has its own benefits.

To me, US seems like an amazing place when you're in the apprentice/work phase of your life (20 - 45?). However, as I grow older, there are other things I have begun to value more, and one of the top ones is authentic human connection. I hope as US becomes more and more diverse, people from other cultures can add the good things they bring, instead of just trying to fit in to the default cultural model.

throw_pm23• 3 years ago

When they said "the future is here, just not evenly distributed" -- it unfortunately applied to social dystopia, just as well as technical advances.

So whatever culture you are from, give it a decade or two and it will likely catch up with the US over this. To see even further into the future, look at Japan.

skilled5• 3 years ago

You're right, I'm from the West. I spent 5 years in Asia in my 20s, which is where a lot of the wisdom comes from. I've lived with Balinese families, and I've spent a lot of time in rural areas in Cambodia, Thailand, and India. I know exactly what you mean when you say informal communities. It was one of the things I spoke about the most to the people around me when I got back.

I could literally turn up at my friends house uninvited and make myself breakfast in the morning or grab some things I need for a long trip. I'd regularly get invited to all kinds of events, weddings, gatherings, and it all culminates in such a flowing state that you really get to enjoy being you as a person. I miss it.

I never had to look for anyone, because from the moment I entered a village to rent a house/apartment, I became part of that community.

lastofus• 3 years ago

Out of curiosity, which cultures have this strong sense of informal community? It sounds kind of great.

jimbokun5• 3 years ago

My parents, who still live in the same small US town I grew up in, still live this way. Relatives who still live in the area, and random friends made over decades, will randomly drop by to say hello.

This is especially good for my Dad, who due to health issues has very restricted mobility. I know his mental health would be much worse without this dynamic.

But in the city where I live, that’s not really possible. Friendly with neighbors and enjoy talking to them, but inviting myself for a tea or coffee isn’t really a thing.

I do have friend groups and support, especially through my church. But it’s not the same as what you describe or what my parents still have.

notmindthegap5• 3 years ago

The US is a country of immigrants who for the most part came here because they valued the individual over the community. The individualism lives in the deepest roots of our culture. As a child of immigrants who was born and grew up in the US, I feel the same way you do the older I get and have been seriously considering a move abroad because of it.

Further, it feels like the only basis of a shared culture, our basic political ideals, is now up for question. So if it isn't faith, ethnicity, etc, then what is actually binding us together?

proc02• 3 years ago

I hope as US becomes more and more diverse, people from other cultures can add the good things they bring, instead of just trying to fit in to the default cultural model.

While I agree on the broader point, there is a bias here that I think is worth noting. There is no inherently good or bad cultural practice in this context. It's just a relative difference that of course if you're not used to it, feels uncomfortable. I think it's not hard to see how the flip scenario is also true, people who grow up with more formal and structured social interactions would feel uncomfortable in a culture that has a different social dynamic.

NiagaraThistle• 3 years ago

"Where you can just walk to a friend or a relative's house unannounced for a cup of tea, without thinking all the time if it would inconvenience them."

I really miss this. I have lived in the US my whole life but my father and much of my family is from the UK. We would always go over other people's houses unannounced when I was young and they always were excited to see us and never inconvenienced. Compare this to my mother's family (born and raised in the US but by Italian immigrants) and it was another story: you had to call ahead and were typically given a time to be in and out.

Fast forward to today, and people think I'm the weird one when I say, let's just "pop in" instead of calling or texting. Except for my parents and sisters, it is completely unheard of to ust pop in or have someone pop in unannounced. My wife gets loads of laughs and shocked expressions when she tells friends and coworkers that me and my family don't call each other ahead of time to visit.

It's a much different society today, but i think (hope?) the more people realize lonliness can (in some ways) be avoided by just visiting each other, I think this trend will reverse itself.

ROTMetro3• 3 years ago

I grew up in Santa Cruz, went to University over the hill in the Bay Area, and financially had to move away well into my child raising years. I haven't been able to adjust to the lack of informal social interactions where I am now compared to back there.

Crazy to think either 1. Things have changed significantly back home or 2. Moving changes our social networks/relationships. My parents informal community in Santa Cruz was non-existent (we moved there in the late 70s). Mine having grown up there were huge

In Santa Cruz I left my garage unlocked so friends could drop off/pick up their surfboards at all hours (the tide cares nothing about the construct of time). Friends literally coming into our house in the early A.M. unannounced while we slept to get/leave their boards.

trieste925• 3 years ago

I moved to the US (Bay Area) about 10 years ago after having spent much of my youth elsewhere, and to this day, I haven't been able adjust to the lack of informal social interactions compared to where I'm from. I really tried as well to see if it's me who is not able to fit

In the same boat. In HS and college, would have somewhat frequent get togethers and then COVID came and ruined it

Idk if the bay area is just like this or if I'm just going through a phase. It's probably just me

0xcafefood• 3 years ago

I hope as US becomes more and more diverse, people from other cultures can add the good things they bring, instead of just trying to fit in to the default cultural model.

The book "Bowling Alone" [1] make the case that diversity actually increases atomization, rather than increases it. This lines up with casual observation too. As the US has become an increasingly pluralistic country, social capital has diminished remarkably.

[1] https://www.google.com/books/edition/Bowling_Alone_Revised_a...

TurkishPoptart• 3 years ago

Every day that goes by, Wallace's Infinite Jest becomes truer and truer.

The thesis of the book is that modern entertainments just make it easier to be alone.

pelorat• 3 years ago

Living reshapes the brain.

agumonkey2• 3 years ago

Sometimes I noticed is that if I spend too long alone, and I can walk in nature, it fills a kind of social need. Nature is lively. By the time you finished exploring the surrounding you're ready to enjoy your cave again.

sourcecodeplz• 3 years ago

No one is perfect. Having shitty friends is better than no friends.

lapama• 3 years ago

And what's the best thing to do about it, if you are socially excluded and cannot move out in the short term?

paparush• 3 years ago

Loneliness is not a phase.

10xDev• 3 years ago

Lockdowns were a severe mistake and we are still paying for it.

jkmcf• 3 years ago

In retrospect, I agree with you.

Between masking --especially promoting masking with inadequate masks--, lockdowns, and anything else tried, they were met with 50% resistance which nullified any potential, positive effect.

cubefox4• 3 years ago

I the meant that many people got lonely.

2devnull3• 3 years ago

This isn’t a very useful discussion without reference to displacement, geographically and socially. When we compare our atomized society to others and note the contrast, rarely to we correctly pinpoint the cause of the atomization. It’s very obvious, displacement and cultural change are the root cause. Humans benefit from homeostasis. If they have homeostasis they will optimize culture for human needs and the common good. Disruption to that homeostasis brings a number of ills, isolation being just one of many.

cubefox4• 3 years ago

Isn't atomization simply a consequence of the Internet? People go out less because they can use social media and Netflix, which doesn't make us as happy.

BizarreByte• 3 years ago

It has messed with me pretty badly. I’m trying to change my life to get out of the hole I find myself in, but it’s really difficult.

ROTMetro3• 3 years ago

Keep your head up fam. You've got value and the right people will see it!

irrational2• 3 years ago

This is one of the downsides of losing our religion (REM has entered the chat). Churches used to provide a community for people to combat loneliness. We've replaced this sense of community with... well, nothing really.

notmindthegap5• 3 years ago

Not just losing religion, but losing every source of shared purpose that people have historically relied upon. Religion is bad. Having kids is increasingly looked down upon. People are losing any and all sense of professional duty.

And yet, no alternatives have been offered.

plaguepilled• 3 years ago

Having kids is a neutral life choice, so I don't want to say one thing or another there. But, to any potential parents out there: please don't have kids because you're lonely. Its not a healthy context for a child to grow up as a partial remedy for their parents' problems.

dc-programmer• 3 years ago

If it is just a case of people losing their religion, then people would be substituting their time with secular communal activities like bowling leagues or freemasonry. Instead everyone just became a shut in. I believe the real reasons run much deeper

000ooo0004• 3 years ago

'The Third Place' is an interesting theory related to this stuff. Can certainly see how the decline of the third place fits in with a lot of the comments here.

uoaei3• 3 years ago

They have very much done that with Marvel characters and Twitch streamers. Relationship with a personal god is only the most parasocial relationship, but there are many flavors of this. I have noticed that among many peoples with regular access to TV and the internet, small talk often veers toward the consumption of popular culture and various impressions and opinions about those consumption products.

Religion is a mythic lens through which to view reality, a framework of archetypes to superimpose on a chaotic world, to make it feel more comprehensible, and thus safer. For many they can reach a sense of safety by communing with others about the recognizable values and behaviors of their favorite fictional characters.

Now you don't even have to know the people you're talking to, because you can assemble in pseudonymous fanbase forums to find that community. You see it in everything from K-pop Twitter to Star Wars reddit.

webmaven• 3 years ago

The 2000 book "Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community" by Robert Putnam goes into some detail on this topic:

https://books.google.com/books/about/Bowling_Alone.html?id=r...

proc02• 3 years ago

Like everything in nature, socializing has a function, and it has been increasingly eroded by technology. Even a few thousand years ago it was the deciding survival factor. As we move deeper into the information age, it seems more and more inconsequential. In my own life, a broader social circle has mostly proven to be at best good entertainment, at worse it can hurt you, but usually is just wasted time. You meet people, learn their incredibly mundane and predictable lives (not excluding myself here), and then life happens and you don't see them ever again, or at least not enough to make a difference.

Having a social network of people to constantly talk to is not needed unless we go back a few thousand years in time... which, to be fair, could happen with some global catastrophe, however if civilization keeps going, I think socializing will be about sharing thoughts, and not so much about physical proximity.

trieste925• 3 years ago

Yeah I think I'm done with this website after reading this

dorchadas3• 3 years ago

Seriously. What a depressing and dehumanizing view of the world. I moved away from my entire social circle two years ago, and it's been extremely rough. I knew people here when moving, and have made good friends, but it's not the same. I miss the deep interactions and just the shared experiences I had with all my friends back home - I seriously consider moving back pretty much every single day because of it. Discord and other messaging apps are nothing but a simulacrum of actual interaction. Physical interaction is what matters; I've become more and more convinced of that recently - and more and more Luddite because of it. But the real world is physical, not digital, and I think too many people forget that. Shame very few others seem to view this and keep pushing for tech that'll make us more and more disconnected for little upside (looking at you, chatbots).

Deep, in person social connection is a must and I truly question whether the GP is as well off without it as they think they are.

ablyveiled• 3 years ago

In behavioral studies, lonely people picked up on negative social signals, such as images of rejection, within 120 milliseconds — twice as quickly as people with satisfying relationships and in less than half the time it takes to blink.

Depression smells like a significant confounding factor here. Indeed, the article may be re-written "depression reshapes the brain", which, like, yeah, ok.

seydor2• 3 years ago

The studies linking loneliness (as in aloneness) with blood pressure need to be corroborated with more systematic studies. There is certainly a bias to consider socializing as something pleasant but often it is not. For people who are OK being alone, it's actually mostly other people that are the stressors, not alone-ness

https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-maga...

danayfm• 3 years ago

Moved to the US many years ago after living in Asia and in Europe and I've struggled the most here in making friends and meeting new people. I thought it was me and even moved to a bigger city in the US and still find it hard to make meaningful connection with anyone. Like others mentioned maybe it's the American capitalism, or internet. I think also maybe cars (greater distance, individual travel, road rage, etc.) influence in how we feel lonely but still surrounded by people.

dadjoker• 3 years ago

This comports with this study I saw recently. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-022-01453-0

And yet in the name of "safety" and "protection" our betters forced isolation on everyone, and we are reaping the results.

ThinkBeat• 3 years ago

This magazine seems to come up on the front page nearly every day. I find it to be uneven in how and what it covers. If it is a subject matter on which I have some actual knowledge sometimes I learn something, but more often I am disappointed.

2-718-281-828• 3 years ago

any prolonged experience or activity shapes the brain ... duh

000ooo0004• 3 years ago

Struggling with loneliness for the first time in my life, at the moment. My core group of friends, whom I've known for 25+ years, all each had a kid in the space of a year. The pandemic made keeping those friendships alive difficult, but the kids turned it up a notch. I was gaslighting myself for a while that they were just busy, but when I heard about a couple of social things that I wasn't invited to, I realised that the friendships weren't on hold, they were hanging up. As an experiment, I stepped back and started to match the effort they were putting in and sadly I haven't spoken to some in months, some years. Working remotely, I need to make a real effort to maintain some social element in my life but having lost this core group of friends has been a huge blow; I have pretty regular dreams about it. Stoked to learn my brain is atrophying as a result!

dQw4w9WgXcQ2• 3 years ago

I stepped back and started to match the effort they were putting in

How did you do it? Have you created an Excel spreadsheet and questioned them about their degree of effort, which you then compared to your level of effort? You added everything up and your column was higher than their column?

I went through this approximately a year before you. Loneliness in this period is caused by your slow response to external change, as well as life telling you to make a life for yourself.

000ooo0004• 3 years ago

What a patronising response.

trieste925• 3 years ago

congrats, this was probably the most awful thing I've read this week

trieste925• 3 years ago

I was gaslighting myself for a while that they were just busy, but when I heard about a couple of social things that I wasn't invited to, I realised that the friendships weren't on hold, they were hanging up.

I feel this. It's incredibly painful to make that kind of realization and it's hard not to be resentful about it

This happened to me and I was bitter about it for about 2 years, should've been in counseling but didn't even realize I was bitter

000ooo0004• 3 years ago

Sorry you experienced something similar. It sure is unpleasant. I can feel the bitterness but I don't think I'm ready to admit I can't work through it myself. Hope things are on the up for you.

8bitsrule• 3 years ago

There a lot of natural stimuli missing ('environmental monotony') in an artificial Antarctic station's winter. Article didn't seem to address how factors like 'monotony' were distinguished from 'social isolation' (with 7 colleagues) as causal to brain changes ('lost prefrontal volume') in Neumayer.

The headline is a stretch ... there are millions of less-privileged people living in Siberia and northern Canada who survive endless harsh winters 'living off the land' in a natural environment with only a few people near them ... how 'reshaped' are their brains?

senectus1• 3 years ago

No mention of how this might not apply to those of us that are naturally introverted and didn't really have a "loneliness" problem.

nickd2001• 3 years ago

A few suggestions to counter how lonely modern society can be. (1) If you're religious, get as involved as much as possible with your community, if you aren't, but are kind of searching, and not opposed to organised religion, try going to various religious events see what people believe and if its for you. (2) Learn, or pick back up, a musical instrument and join an amateur group - anything from formal e:g local wind band / brass band / orchestra , to an informal band, advertising for a member at guitar shop or online. If you can't find anything, place an ad yourself, people will reply for sure (3) Volunteer. e:g Feeding homeless Or get involved in some community thing or positive local politics, making locality better, possibly environmental activism of a kind even if just getting some trees planted to improve an area, (4) Avoid living in posh places where people are "aspirational" , where managers live, (this is not a problem for people who can't afford that in the first place ;) ) instead live somewhere with more soul, more blue collar, where people need each other more, reach out to each other more, have jobs that are more about serving others than "using" them. Just my 2p, YMMV.

greenhearth2• 3 years ago

Can they just not pill up the chemicals used in social interactions? Cure your loneliness the modern way!

FrontierPsych• 3 years ago

I think loneliness is a choice except for exceptions.

I've read all kinds of things about California and how shallow it is, and especially in Los Angeles. I think the people who say this must be meeting different people than I do, or trying to meet different people. They want to meet high-end celebrities and just get pushed off or whatever.

I know auto mechanics, plumbers, financial planners, accountants, programmers, retail clerks, manufacturing plant managers, teachers. All of them are exactly like they would be in any other state. They don't sit around trying to sell a script to Hollywood studios, or try to get into acting. Plumbers are plumbers.

I had a GREAT group of hikers I used to hike with - friendly and down-to-earth and real.

But, I have to go out and FORCE myself to meet people. It's not like high school or university where you are surrounded by everyone your own age, and all you have to do is show up and there's a group there for at schools.

I've gone to computer groups meetings, business group meetings, and all kinds of groups. But I have to get my ass out and go. It kinda sucks to get off my ass and motivated, but what else can ya do?

Some groups did suck, I must say, but I just got out of them and go to other ones that turns out great.

Loneliness is a choice.

I guess if you lived on a farm and the nearest neighbor was 30 miles away, that would be different, but that's the exception rather than the rule.

koolhead17• 3 years ago

loneliness and solitude are two different things.

Loneliness reshapes the brain

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