7 years and no success. I need help.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3475362

by fffuuu1234 • 15 years ago

18 30 15 years ago

news.ycombinator.com

Hello HN,

I'm a regular here, but for personal reasons I'll be using a throwaway account.

For the last 7 years I've been trying the entrepreneur game. I've have failed miserably with 6 failed startups under my belt.

For the last year or so I was working for a company that can no longer pay me and I'm for the first time in years without any income (last 7 years my income was extremely low since I was investing everything in my ventures). At this point I'm very frustrated and have no clue what to do.

I'm not a hacker, I'm a marketing guy. I know about usability, product, copywriting, lead generation and all those fancy things we marketing guys must know. Yet somehow, I can't get clients for myself (I'm trying the consulting route for SMB's but no luck).

I have two degrees, two masters, have travelled most of the world, yet I feel like a total failure. When it comes to building stuff and making a living out of it, it just does not happen.

I'm lost. I have no idea what I'm going to do to make rent next month, but besides that, what I'm most afraid of is this feeling of being a looser, of failure. Is one of the worst things I've experienced in my life and I have no clue what to do with it.

Professionally I'm also lost. I have a couple of good ideas that I'm to afraid to try them (I feel I'll fail miserably, again).

When it comes to money I suck too. I haven't been able to make a decent living for almost a decade. I'm tired. I don't know if I have to change how I understand money or what, but I can't comprehend how someone with my knowledge (I'm using all my strength to say that) can make so little money.

I'm sorry for this rant, but I don't have anyone to talk to.

pchristensen• 15 years ago

I'd vote first for stability, then confidence. Without those two things your odds of building a successful startup are basically non-existent.

One other useful data point would be: where are you, and where are you willing to move to?

It sounds like you have bigger issues than can be hashed out in a comment thread. My email is in my profile if you want to talk more.

fffuuu12347• 15 years ago

That's where my thoughts are going right now.

I'm in Europe. I'll write you an email.

Thanks.

wallflower• 15 years ago

I'm sorry to read this. In my worldview, someone who has traveled most of the world is the opposite of a failure. It all comes down to how you feel about things. What makes you feel better? May I suggest volunteering? Without having met you, I feel like you have a world of experience and knowledge to offer. But your results seem to indicate that you are not getting what you want. Money is essential for living in the modern world; is there anyone who you could crash with for a while? When I used to read my diaries of my youth, I was struck by how depressed I consistently put down on paper. Things aren't what they seem to you.

luckystrike• 15 years ago

Get a job and put your startup/consulting plans on hold for a while (6 months?). After this cool down period, re-evaluate your priorities in life and then charter out your next steps.

I know it is easier said than done but don't let your past experiences bog you down. You don't even know how all those dots would connect in the future.

All the best.

fffuuu12347• 15 years ago

Thanks. The getting a job part is turning out to be quite difficult but I'm actively looking.

rudasn• 15 years ago

It took me 2 years to find a job that I really liked (and remotely, I'm in Europe too) and during that time I made sure to have a job that paid the bills and spent a lot of time on learning more stuff and doing side projects. The side projects didn't go anywhere but they sure where a learning experience.

Keep it up and try not to judge yourself too much - constructively critisise and not overwhelm yourself.

trevelyan• 15 years ago

You must be under a lot of stress right now.

Just practically, 12 months isn't much time for any of your businesses to get traction, and being outside the United States usually means bootstrapping without much visibility. So even if you started another business NOW and it really became something, you'd still have to wait several years before being able to draw anything near the sort of salary that would count as a "decent living" and stop you from feeling depressed about it.

I'd think about getting a job. There's no reason you can't continue to do your own thing part-time. It might help you put together a better business if you can spend more time and money exploring things you enjoy, instead of focusing on what you can do in the short term to just scrape by.

carlsednaoui2• 15 years ago

Personally:

- If you don't already, start working out (nothing major, even if its doing push ups, squats, going for a short run, anything - just be active)

- Eat well. Trust me on this one, adding good diet + sports will make a huge difference.

Professionally:

- Keep on looking, im sure you will find a great opportunity soon (but remember one thing, you need to value yourself before other can value you).

- If you have free time, volunteer it to other companies (reach out to startups or companies you admire, give them feedback, give them value). It wont cost you anything and it may help you find that inner motivation to pursue your own projects (or expand your network of contact).

- Get a motivation buddy - if you want you can email me (myHNname at gmail. com). Perhaps I can provide you with some motivation for job hunting or working out. I've never done this but perhaps it's worth a try? As an FYI I'm based in New York.

fffuuu12347• 15 years ago

Thank you for reaching out. The whole value yourself thing got to me, I think I've been judging myself to harsh lately.

I'll get in touch.

carlsednaoui2• 15 years ago

Looking forward to it

AznHisoka• 15 years ago

I'm not the OP, but could I use you as a motivation buddy too? I sure could use it...

corkill• 15 years ago

Sell the skills you have, e.g. do small business internet marketing consulting. Get six clients to pay you $500 a month. Work out the minimum you need to live, so you have max time to work on something else.

I would guess, your main problems might be: 1) making stuff people don't want, ideas suck, make stuff people want. All the lead gen and marketing in the world can't help if people don't want it. 2) not committing to something (probably because people don't want it and you are not sure about it).

Strongly agree with comments about working out, spend 20 mins every day doing it and thinking positive.

Keep going, don't turn back. Ordinary ----------> Failure -----------> Success

lnanek• 15 years ago

Take a job at a large company that won't fail for a while until you build up again? Most startups fail; it's like playing the lottery. You can always still do Startup Weekend and the like, teams there usually don't work for pay, so it's a cheap way to continue failing (and learning with each) while still not being limited to only working alone.

Re rent, see if you can move back home or in with a friend. I know lots of people who crash on a couch of a friend or two for a while in between places. Landlords I've talked to are pretty forgiving if you have to break a lease, as long as you move out immediately. They often have to deal with tenants who can't pay, but won't leave either (and thus have to be evicted). So they are often happy to just get the room free to rent to someone who actually can pay.

leslyn• 15 years ago

Just want to say how awesome it is that so many people reached out here with offers of personal contact!! If you still need additional support I am also offering. I am an educated professional counselor and may be able to offer a coaching perspective. My email too, is in my profile.

My immediate advice is to follow the previous advice about eating, sleeping, and activity. In addition, list your strengths (you are willing to take risks, you are educated, you are smart, you have expertise, you are well traveled, etc.....) and focus on them.

mapster• 15 years ago

It can seem like an endless road and a thankless career. Focus on a simpler, basic life of the happy wanderer. Less computer time is probably a good step too. Too much stimuli of success images making you feel insignificant, and that is not true. email if you'd like to chat.

jnbiche• 15 years ago

Keep trying to freelance. Don't give up. If you can write good ad copy, you can make good money freelancing. It takes a little while to get started, but if you network well you can start making a decent income in a few months. You won't get rich, but you'll stay busy and make contacts. I freelance in another industry, but I know that good freelance copywriters are highly valued.

Regarding happiness, I'll be blunt and say I was never truly happy until I met my wife and had kids. I did the global traveling thing for several years, and it was fun, but I was lacking fulfillment until I started a family. I know that's not for everyone, but some people really would benefit from starting a family. If you don't have a family, it's something to at least consider.

fffuuu12347• 15 years ago

I'm married. I have an amazing wife and want kids. One thing that is killing me is that I now have the whole kids plan on hold. My wife is supportive of me, but she's hurting that we need to hold on those plans for now.

27182818284• 15 years ago

First, how old are you? I'm curious.

fffuuu12347• 15 years ago

32.

_ud4a• 15 years ago

could it be that you give up easily? i'm just trying to figure out why your last 6 startups failed? what was the reason? having 6 startup failurs in 7 years means you only allowed 1 year for each product before jumping ship.

maybe the problem is that you haven't found the product or startup that you passionate about to make it go to the next level without giving up.

so what were the reasons for the startup failures?

fffuuu12347• 15 years ago

I think is a combination of things. In the first ones, inexperience above all. In the last 3 I simply couldn't generate enough traction.

ulisesrmzroche• 15 years ago

You sound like you've burnt out. You're liable to make bad decisions when you're worried, but more importantly, you can't really build anything if you're worried about rent. Rent is a more important problem.

There's nothing that will really shake you out of it, you're going to have to wait until you heal. This is the fastest way I know of that helps you do that.

1) Don't take yourself so seriously.

2) Workout hard

2) Get a real job.

On #1, don't beat yourself up. Won't help any.

On #2, I suggest just doing burpee intervals. Check my comment history, I put up a sample workout on another thread.

On #3, just get any job that will help pay bills and more importantly, allow you to get some savings for when you get back on to what you really want to do, which is become a successful entrepreneur. Move back with parents to save money. It's not going to take forever, at most, like a few months while the next best thing comes along.

pdebruic• 15 years ago

Send me an email, my info is in my profile. I have a need for someone with your skills. Location doesn't matter, but I'd like to see what you've done before and if you're interested in what I have to offer. Thanks.

fffuuu12347• 15 years ago

I'll contact you. Thanks.

zerostar07• 15 years ago

Where in Europe are you? Were your startups focusing in Europe (markets are fragmented and unprofitable in most but the northwest)? Have you considered more conventional ideas? Creating something that goes with the flow (facebook apps/mobile / blogging etc)? 7 failed ideas doesn't sound much, esp. given that in the internet business ideas cost very little (I have many more failed projects myself). Educated, married and well traveled and you 're whining? I 'd say "buck up" in a friendly way.

gamechangr• 15 years ago

With the information you have provided (your 32, two masters degrees, traveled the world) it sounds like you haven't had much opportunity to build real world working experience?? I am trying to be helpful (not critical) and point out that you have had much of a career yet (Hacker community really wouldn't put much stock in the two masters degrees)

I also am early thirties have lived in three countries, but worked for three startups for 2,2, and 5 years (no masters).

The single best piece of advice that anyone could give you...MOVE TO SILICON VALLEY TODAY.

Hope that helps

robyates• 15 years ago

Can't agree with this more. It's like trying to make a movie in Hollywood vs. everywhere else. Also, teach yourself to code if you can or take an intro CS course.

keeptrying• 15 years ago

Quora.com/startup-inspiration

Learn to code. Lots of resources out there now and u can do this while hunting for a job. With your business experience I think if you had the ability to create the system then you'd be golden.

To make rent, join up as a salesperson someplace - REI is a great job. Actually I found a friend a job there who was in exactly your shoes.

You really need to learn to detach yourself from labels and words. It's not easy but I think it's the only way an entrepreneur can succeed without going insane.

Right now focus on getting any job at all that will pay rent. Recruiter, market research, REI sales, retail, - hit all possibilities.

Then learn to code part time. Then get a coding job at startup. Then startup. Yeah it's 2 year plan but it's doable and for the next 10 years you'll have a job that pays you at least 100k.

akg• 15 years ago

I will start by saying that for someone to do 7 startups and also travel the world, well that is pretty impressive. A lot of "making it" has to do with timing. I would say that you need to keep at it and don't give up. The worst thing you can do is to stop working your passion. So if you have some ideas, go out there and try them, again. Who know, this time it may work out. Failure is nothing to be ashamed of. Many great people have gone through several failures before they are seen as successes. Rovio, the guys who made Angry Birds, took 8 years, 51 titles, and in 2009 a close to bankruptcy claim to achieve their “overnight” success. Sometimes things just take time to germinate. Here is another great short by Michael Jordan talking about failure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-EMOb3ATJ0&feature=fvst

Other than that, I think that if you really are miserable, you should take a step back, take a moment to introspect about what you really want. Are startups what you really want to do? Do you really like traveling? Finding what you want can be the hardest thing to do sometimes. It might help to take some time off, go to a remote place and do some serious thinking. I would also even suggest a Vipassna retreat, there are several in different locations throughout the country.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipassanā

You are only 32, not that old, and have a lot of life ahead of you. Never give up on your dreams nor on yourself. There is greatness in human potential.

chris_dcosta• 15 years ago

What are the startups you worked on and why do you consider them to be failures? Maybe HN takes a different (more positive) view although I realise that telling us what they are might also identify you.

I just thought it might help to do a bit of HN Therapy.

7 years and no success. I need help.

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