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No Microsoft does accept Bitcoin. They then convert the Bitcoin into USD. The distinction is who hires the middleman to convert. If a merchant asked all customers to first go to BitPay, get USD, then come back and give them the USD, then no they don't accept bitcoin. However, if a merchant takes your bitcoin and then gives you the goods, and after the fact finds the middleman themselves and converts, then they accept bitcoin.

Road signs commonly ask you to use both lanes up to the point of the bottleneck. That’s reasonable advice, but it’s not going to get anyone home faster.

If you simply kept reading:

This is good because it is less likely to affect other traffic by spilling out onto onramps and surface roads. Also maybe there’s someone on the highway who’s planning to exit 3 miles before the bottleneck. If the backup is 2 miles instead of 4 miles, that person doesn’t have to wait in traffic.

But in this case the consumers are the sellers. These are ordinary people with shares that lost value. Cuban had information that the ordinary people didn't since he was an insider, and unfairly used that information to get to market faster than everyone else. If everyone else knew that information they would have sold at the same time, causing Cuban's shares to be worth less when he tried to sell.

Also, selling pumpkins at a high school football game? Far out analogy...