My embarrassing picture went viral

http://www.salon.com/2013/10/02/my_embarrassing_picture_went_viral/

by venti • 13 years ago

165 220 13 years ago

salon.com

Ivan_Raikov• 13 years ago

fridge raider. That was good

SeanDav• 13 years ago

fridge raider. That was good

I can hear the whoooosh as that article went straight over your head. I think you need to take a step back and do a little introspection. Also that type of comment does not belong here on HN News.

brazzy2• 13 years ago

Nope, it actually is funny. The subject herself thought so - seems like that part of the article went straight over your head.

I do not think it makes the world better when you obsessively avoid saying anything that might possibly offend someone, let alone try to police everyone else.

alan_cx2• 13 years ago

Perhaps you need to take a step back and realise that making a joke does not mean misunderstanding an issue. I for one certainly found it amusingly ironic that in an article supposed to be sympathetic to a fat girl had an "Enlarge" button on the picture. Not to mention that the article it's self in fact propagates the image even more.

Also, are you really saying humor has no place on HN? I see nothing in the FAQ about banning humor.

spuz• 13 years ago

The joke is fine, the problem is the people turning a joke into an opportunity to be hateful.

oftenwrong• 13 years ago

HN News -> Hacker News News

GeorgeOrr4• 13 years ago

"Why do you think that's funny" I loved that. A simple way to remind someone to treat other humans like humans.

Thanks for that idea.

smoyer4• 13 years ago

So true ... the fact that she can laugh at herself is a very useful skill but what I'm interested in is how the mob mentality allows someone to go from "Fridge Raider" (which I thought was funny ... and I'm no toothpick myself) to "That heifer should be put down". There's not a shred of humor in that, nor is there even a shred of humanity in it.

mcv• 13 years ago

It works in other situations too. If someone makes a racist or sexist joke, ask them to explain, because you don't get it.

pmelendez• 13 years ago

I admire her strong character. Most people on that situation would stay still and regret about their selves, but she actually did something about it. That's great.

Other thing I got from the article is the reminder that I am doing it well in not uploading pictures to Facebook anymore.

coldpie2• 13 years ago

Yeah. I'm not strong enough to take this kind of abuse, I know it, and I take steps to shield myself from it. I've never posted photos of myself online, and I actively ask my friends not to as well. They've all taken it well and done as I asked.

I think it helps having grown up on the Internet back before it had "safe" places. If you think of everything posted on the Internet as public (because it is), it really changes how you interact with it.

Cthulhu_• 13 years ago

(this comment got a bit long. tl;dr, the internet is full of insensitive pricks that don't get confronted with their own behaviour)

A large percentage of the internet populace is running on autopilot: browse hundreds of random images a day for quick fixes of entertainment, and post the odd impulsive, thoughtless and, most importantly, internet-badassity-enhancing comment.

It's much more common to be scathing and hurtful on the internet, simply because there is less of, or none of, a 'society filter' out there. If one were to stand on a soapbox in public and make the kind of remarks people make unashamedly and unfilteredly on the internet, they wouldn't be standing there for long and would in all likelihood get called out on their behavior.

Not (directly) so on the internet. I can identify two major reasons for that: One, peer groups. Internet douchebags is a major internet peer group, who will e-high-five each other for remarks outlined in the article. Two: Nobody cares. Scathing remarks are made by anonymous people all over the internet, so a lot of people have been desensitised or simply feel powerless, on behalf of not actually knowing the person making the remarks.

The difference for that last point lies in community. A lot of these image sharing sites have a loosely-tied, unloyal random userbase, where most commenters will not or never know or recognise each other from other 'threads'. This in contrast to, say, HN, where people can gain fame and notoriety over time. In the latter category, where comments and the overall mood is much less random and much more focussed at a certain audience, scathing and offensive and plain dumb comments (which is about 99% of youtube comments, for example) will not only be (anonymously, disconnecedly) downvoted, but outright confronted, countered, and the people behind them approached and have their unwanted behaviour pointed out to them.

[faux-psychologist]Freud assigned people's behavior as a result of the id, ego, and super-ego; on the internet, shielded by anonymity and a high abstraction and reduction of communication to quickly typed, short messages, the super-ego has little power in the big, anonymous communities; there is little to no society that tells people "No, this behavior is unwanted". This in turn dulls the ego (one's rational mind, conscience, etc), allowing the id (the impulsive mind that screams LOL FAT PEOPLE KILL UR SELF LOL) to write a similar blurb onto the internet. Communities like HN have a much stronger super-ego, and unwanted behavior is put down. When the poster approached the commenters, she acted as the super-ego, and the commenters suddenly snapped out of their autopilot, impulsive state of mind, having their conscience suddenly kick in when they realised there was a living person with real feelings behind the 2D image of a random woman dressing up as a character with a different physique.[/faux-psychologist]

smoyer4• 13 years ago

This is one of the (probably positive) arguments for Google's "real-name" policy on G+. Perhaps another tactic we could use is to pick the most blatantly rude and obnoxious commenters on 4chan, etc and DOX them ... Once identified, we could comment on their pictures and let their family and friends know how they've been behaving.

The worst part is, I think we'd find many of the worst offenders are 14 or so ... they either haven't developed their humanity yet, or they'll be our worst nightmare as young adults.

andyhmltn• 13 years ago

I think the majority of them would never even think of saying something like that in person. It's to do with crowd behaviour and the fact that they literally have no consequences.

I've spoken to a few people that are super nice and then as soon as they lose their identity they just spew hate as a release for all the pent up anger built up throughout the day/year/life.

It's very similar to road rage. You can call people every name under the sun and throw up fingers left, right and center but I can bet most people wouldn't dare do such a thing if you accidentally walked in front of them on the street. There's no consequences really when you can just shut your window and drive off or if someone is going the opposite direction.

marvin2• 13 years ago

Real-name policy doesn't really work. I've seen plenty of vile and horrible comments from people through the Facebook comment widget. And doxing is dangerous since it's in effect a call for vigilante justice. You don't even know if you're doxxing the right person. Extrajudicial punishment is extremely dodgy even in the cases where it is legal.

And Internet anonymity serves a purpose beyond how comfortable it is, which is to allow the discussion of subjects where few people want to have their real name and picture attached. Approximately 50% of the political opinions I debate online, I would not want a prospective employer to be able to look up.

I think this is a problem we have to live with. It sucks, but it's better than the alternatives.

ben0x5399• 13 years ago

Real name policies hurt the most vulnerable people the most, and essentially cut off people who can't afford for whatever reason to tie their self-expression on the internet to a name through which or bullies or other abusive personalities can trace their real-life identity. As far as I can tell, they do nothing to curb harassment by people who are secure in spouting abuse because it is considered acceptable in their social environment.

lsc• 13 years ago

This is one of the (probably positive) arguments for Google's "real-name" policy on G+

The key is having a community with behavioral standards - a persistent identifier that a reputation can be attached to is a prerequisite for enforcing said standards, but without the community to set and enforce those standards? the identifier doesn't help.

Also note, communities often contribute to this 'problem' as much as they help. Nearly all communities consider certain types of bullying of certain types of people acceptable, and with that community backing? people seem to be much worse than they would be on their own. Most of the time? most of the truly terrible things people do are done in a context where that terrible behavior is normal, or even accepted.)

I think the real problem with a 'real name' policy is that I may wish to participate in different communities with conflicting standards for behavior. A good reasonable example that most of us face is our professional selves vs. our sexual selves. Behavior that is completely acceptable in a nightclub is going to be completely unacceptable in an office, and vis-a-vis.

Google tries to address this with privacy settings, but really? I think that's the wrong approach. The context trumps the relationship; Even if I meet someone from work in a nightclub, that doesn't mean I can apply nightclub behavioral standards to my interactions with them in the office. (I would argue that I could apply nightclub standards to our interactions in the nightclub, but some would disagree.) - At least for me, (and I am told that this is very different for other people) the thing I am concerned about is not so much keeping my non-professional self secret, but in allowing people to choose a context in which to interact with me, and allowing them to be not made uncomfortable by personal issues. If they want to dig and find my personal issues? that's on them.

loudmax• 13 years ago

The worst part is, I think we'd find many of the worst offenders are 14 or so ...

Based on some of the stupid comments my eleven year old has posted on Youtube, and the equally asinine replies, I find this very plausible. I've talked to him about what kind impression he makes for himself. He's not out to hurt anyone, he just posts stuff without thinking about it. Normal behavior for an eleven year old. I said some pretty dumb things when I was a kid, but none of it was broadcasted further than my classmates. Now I'm making my son think about what he says online and I think it's sinking in. I hope that in a few more years when he's old enough to go on the internet without parental supervision he'll be a decent online citizen. A lot of parents don't know how to do this, or it wouldn't occur to them to do so.

acdha3• 13 years ago

Communities like HN have a much stronger super-ego, and unwanted behavior is put down

Before we sprain something with collective back-patting, have you seen what happens when anyone suggests that HN might have issues with gender or privilege? That class of unwanted behaviour has a bimodal response: some forms are slapped down but others are dismissed or even encouraged.

singular• 13 years ago

Not to mention a number of incredibly nasty + negative posts I've seen on here on many occasions. I have spent time away from hacker news on 2 occasions just because I found the non-constructive negativity too much.

Hacker News might not suffer from the crude childish nastiness, but don't for a second think it's free of the passive-aggressive 'adult' kind.

sramsay• 13 years ago

Yes I have. A while ago I expressed shock and outrage on HN at the systemic sexism (of the "geek community") evident in the PAX business, and in other similar incidents. I was then given a lesson in logic (because this wasn't precisely sexism, but merely an individual behaving badly in this particular case). I was appalled.

No one here would write such things? I doubt it. And at the very least, I find it unbelievable that "cooler heads" are so quick to say that "panty shot" and "tit viewer" or "brogrammer" or whatever have nothing to do with the culture of IT.

I've spent most of my career trying to teach college-age women (coming mainly from humanities programs) how to program. When I suggest to my most promising engineers they they go into computer science, they almost invariably end up not being able to do it. Not because the professor isn't supportive, certainly not because they find the material too hard, but because of the "culture." They can't always find that term, but that's clearly what it is.

Ask any woman who tried and failed to make it through a CS program, and you'll here the same thing: they were sick of being ogled, they were sick of the porn jokes, they were the sick of the "cowboy up or go home" shit.

This is my culture; I'm part of it. And if you read this board a lot, it's probably your culture as well. We absolutely need to own this one and not pin it every time on errant individuals. We need to actually admit that in subtle ways we have created an environment hostile to women.

kyro7• 13 years ago

HN members are great at superficially coming across as intelligent and rational while managing to make all the same childish comments that we see elsewhere.

Want proof? Scroll down this very page. No different.

sneak5• 13 years ago

That's a lot of words to say something that the Internet already meme-ified years ago:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19

Edit: Wow, almost 10(!) years ago.

chris_wot27• 13 years ago

A lack of anonymity never stopped Penny Arcade from printing Dick Wolves t-shirts. Every time I see someone quote Penny Arcade, I think to myself "These are the guys who made a bad taste rape joke, then decided to print t-shirts celebrating rape jokes".

Penny Arcade indeed.

INTPenis• 13 years ago

Thanks for pointing that out.

My thoughts exactly, except I compressed it into this.

I would be more embarrassed by the picture than I would be affected by the comments.

I attribute this to being used to how people act online. Knowing that it means nothing.

Uberphallus3• 13 years ago

Disclaimer: I find these pictures hilarious.

Claimer: I was a fatass.

I no longer show any particular respect or pity towards fat people. I've been fat most of my life, but no more.

It all started when a friend, well into the 400lb ~ 180kg, started losing weight like magic. Constant, steady weight loss. He was a fat guy in a family of fat people, the typical case of genetic blamery. I asked how he did it, he said he just counted calories and never broke the limit.

I did the same. I changed my food habits. It was hard in the sense that I've been "trained" otherwise; it's evident to me now that my mother transmitted me her fears of famine in the war. I always had to finish the plate, eat all I was given, and eat a bit more on my own whenever possible.

And the conclusion the very first day I started the control is that I just ate too much. Checked the calories, yeah, it's well added up. WTF, it's lunch and I'm already more than done! After a while I noticed things started expiring and get moldy since with my new diet couldn't keep up with my grocery list habits.

I lost weight mathematically. Kept doing exercise and bumped proteins not to lose muscle, and the average caloric deficit approached frighteningly my weight loss rate following the famous 9kcal/g of fat. Ate 20000kcal less this month? Weigh in and poof, 2.2kg gone.

From then I started analyzing other people's habits. And fat people just eat too much, very, very, very few of them are exceptions.

At this point I just don't understand why I should feel pity and display consideration to fat people while smokers (or meth addicts, or gamblers, or other sorts of compulsive behavior) are almost the worst thing in the world after the Third Reich. Saving some distances, it's the same league.

It's just an unhealthy habit, and the only difference is that it can be seen from outside. It's not a lost limb from an accident, something random that could happen to anyone and deserves pity instead of mockery. 99% of fat people just eat too much, they're just choosing to be, play the victim card too often and lack of education in regards to nutrition just perpetuates this. It's essentially the same as white trash, you can blame the environment but in the end it's you making the choice, but I have yet to see as many people defending juggalos as people defending fat people.

kyro7• 13 years ago

Because, you know, sometimes it's more complicated than what you eat, like when you have, you know, medical conditions like the one stated in, you know, the article.

But congratulations on your weight loss and newfound abilities to generalize a condition that endocrinologists and geneticists have been researching for decades.

chris_wot27• 13 years ago

The problem you have is that while there are definitely people who really need to modify their lifestyle, there are a not so insignificant number of people who cannot reduce their weight.

I think it's great you managed to lose weight (I fight a constant battle of the bulge myself with exercise and diet), but the author has an endocrine disorder called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.

My point is that when you lump all "fatties" into the same bucket, you also unfairly judge those with medical conditions. Given many of the fat people you see will be strangers, you'll probably never know if it is lifestyle or a medical disorder causing their excess weight.

Food for thought?

cafard• 13 years ago

The question might be, why show consideration for anyone? You seem to have answered that question to your satisfaction, though.

driverdan• 13 years ago

I would also add that people who don't have a medical condition and who overeat cause the stigma people with medical conditions receive for being overweight. If most people who were overweight were so because of a medical condition you wouldn't see as much mockery of it.

dgesang• 13 years ago

I was with you until ...

while smokers (or meth addicts, or gamblers, or other sorts of compulsive behavior) are almost the worst thing in the world after the Third Reich.

which is just complete BS. There are way worse things in the world happening than that - every minute! (No, I don't smoke, gamble, do drugs or alike)

kaitai3• 13 years ago

Who is talking about pity? Why not just be polite? Is it so hard to be polite?

Your argument is "I'm morally superior so I get to be a douche." Making the argument proves you're not morally superior, though.

Pxtl4• 13 years ago

Relevant fantasy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l1_8wefR7c

acheron• 13 years ago

Funnily enough, I find HN to discourage "knowing" other posters -- with no avatars, signature blocks, etc., the only way to recognize posters is by a username which the interface deliberately deemphasizes. I almost never notice who posted a given comment.

There's maybe three HN usernames I "recognize" from posts, two of which are for consistently posting stupid comments. (Generally I read the comment, roll my eyes at it, then notice the username and say "oh yeah, that guy again".)

sneak5• 13 years ago

I'm Jeff, it's nice to meet you too.

donquichotte• 13 years ago

This is a classic example of open-loop behaviour. People behave like assholes, but don't get the feedback they would be getting in real life.

It's like the restaurant in tourist areas. Bad meals? Unfriendly staff? No problem - the customers won't be back, no matter whether the service is good or bad. They are tourists and will go home tomorrow.

There's no tit for tat, no negative feedback. This doesn't work in engineering, and it doesn't work in human interaction either.

makomk• 13 years ago

Not really. In at least some of the internet communities that do this kind of thing, there is actually pressure to conform to the community's norms - it's just that the norms are fucked. For instance, anyone who stands up for the woman in a picture like this will get called all sorts of insults in order to pressure them to back down.

danielweber2• 13 years ago

Goes to show that peer pressure can be used for both good and for ill.

ce4• 13 years ago

Relevant posting from 2 weeks ago about a similar case (anti hipster): https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6412708

kubiiii• 13 years ago

I wanted to point that either. In both cases the bullies behaviour changed the minute they realized it was a photograph of an actual human being who could feel pain from their comments.

ck2• 13 years ago

So you are saying a service designed for the lowest common denominator suffers from the lowest common denominator abusing it?

Why do people have facebook accounts, seriously?

ben0x5399• 13 years ago

Is this some tragedy of the commons thing? Individuals have to have facebook accounts or they'd be socially isolated because everybody else has facebook accounts they hate too? And it's not worth it to the individual user to cut themselves off?

TeMPOraL2• 13 years ago

Because it's an extremely good, extremely efficient communication tool for keeping in touch with people you know. Much better than everything else there is so far.

chez17• 13 years ago

I don't have a facebook profile and I keep in touch with people with the exciting new technologies of email and telephone. Amazing what actually talking to people does.

enscr2• 13 years ago

I often find that physical problems that have to do with appearance rather than functionality of a human being are often ridiculed at. The ones making fun never realize that they are taking a potshot at something that you often have no control over. Some are sensitive to realize it while others aren't. I have friends that fall in both categories. Unless you know the problem, you tend to take it in a light and often mean spirited way. I'd say that you work towards keeping your spirits high and learn to forgive the ones who are making fun. Most of them are ignorant, not malicious. I applaud your attitude of taking the issue head-on. For my case, I've trained myself to forget such shortcomings with myself and most often I don't realize that they exist.

marknutter6• 13 years ago

I don’t generally view my body size as positive or negative — it simply is. I eat right (most of the time) and I exercise (an inordinate amount), but it does little, thanks to a struggle with polycystic ovarian syndrome and a failing thyroid gland. I’m strong, I’m flexible and my doctor assures me my health is good, but the fact remains: I’m larger than someone my height should be.

I feel for her and the negative comments are reprehensible, but what I hear in this particular paragraph are excuses. Having issues with POS and the thyroid gland do not make it impossible to lose weight, just more difficult. My advice: ignore the haters and come up with a game plan with your doctor to lose the weight in a steady and health way.

informatimago• 13 years ago

Why?

Really. Most people only have one day or two of food at home. In cities, stores have two days of stock at most.

The federal government shut down. If anything else happens, God forbids, that breaks down the provisioning circuits, panic will soon ensue, and for city dwellers, only 2 days before they start dying from thirst, and 42 days until they die of hunger.

Now, I'd like to see all those lean people, how they'll fare after one week. If us the fat people can hide for a week and avoid being eaten by them, then the world will be ours!

chris_wot27• 13 years ago

Way to miss the point. Bravo.

voyou• 13 years ago

If her doctor says her health is good, why should she listen to the "advice" of some random person on the internet?

chris_wot27• 13 years ago

Dear God man! You don't know anything about her. For all you know she's already tried everything.

For that matter, the article says she is healthy and the doctors have given her the all clear. So she's of a somewhat larger build - big fucking deal!

This is probably coming off wrong. I'm sure you mean well. But don't be so quick to give healthy living advise to someone with a medical condition (or for that matter, really anyone) you don't know. Put yourself in their shoes - the point of this article really - how would you like unsolicited, judgmental advise about something you have little control over?

kefka2• 13 years ago

And there's something rather neat about physics, chemistry, and biology.

Matter cannot be created nor destroyed. So, that means garbage in = fat + garbage out. You really are what you eat.

I know this by my own diet. When I gobbled up everything in sight, I <gasp> got fat. When I quit packing my face full of food, I lost weight. Interesting how that works.

leephillips• 13 years ago

What marknutter says ("do not make it impossible to lose weight, just more difficult") is tautologically true. What you say ("For all you know she's already tried everything") can not possibly be true.

Ilmesnkie_Jones2• 13 years ago

I think the point is she shouldn't have to try EVERYTHING. If she's healthy, meaning her medical tests come back fine, and she's getting exercise the amount of work she might have to do to LOOK thin might not be worth it. In fact it might even be counter productive and make her less healthy.

Of course it's far easier to complain that she's unfit and that everyone loses and gains weight at the same rate than to say you don't like the aesthetics of her body and she should lose weight because being fat makes her unattractive.

cabalamat3• 13 years ago

For all you know she's already tried everything.

For all I know, her body might not obey the laws of physics that every other object in the universe obeys. But I find that possibility somewhat unlikely.

If your food intakes contains less metabolisable energy than you use, you'll lose weight. It's as simple as that.

V-24• 13 years ago

"For all you know she's already tried everything." - well, not really... By her own admission, she doesn't "generally view her body size as positive or negative". Why would she have tried "everything" then?? It's illogical. Generally, if you don't see something as either positive or negative, you don't go to great pains to do something about it.

arrrg4• 13 years ago

That’s between her and her doctor and none of your business.

Why do you think it’s proper to give random people unsolicited health advice. That’s widely inappropriate and impolite. Please don’t do it.

cabalamat3• 13 years ago

Why do you think it’s proper to give random people unsolicited health advice

Why do you think it’s proper to give random people unsolicited internet posting advice? Is there any good reason I shouldn't regard you as a hypocrite?

kyro7• 13 years ago

This is one of the more insidiously cruel comments I've seen here.

Never mind PCOS, hypothyroidism is a condition that can suck you of your energy, lower your metabolic rate, put you into depression, and much more, all contributing to weight gain. Point is, it can be a vicious cycle that feeds itself.

But who gives a damn? Who am I to start judging the accuracy or severity of her diagnoses? What if she made it all up? It doesn't matter a damn bit, to me or to you. But at the end of the day, we have no reason to believe she's lying.

Wording your comment in a more civilized manner does not make it that much less childish than the "yeah, nice excuse, fatty, now go run" that we expect from reddit.

marknutter6• 13 years ago

Well, I'll try to be more uncivilized next time. I am not accusing her of lying. I take what she says at face value, but I challenge the claim that these conditions make it impossible to lose weight. If she wants to be at the weight she's at, then my advice can be safely ignored. If she is, however, interested in losing weight, then she should do her best to overcome these conditions instead of using them as an excuse to give up.

jader2012• 13 years ago

To be honest, I didn't give much thought to that piece. It was an interesting side-fact -- that her doctor had said she was in good health -- but that's about it.

It's really not up to strangers -- especially those not qualified -- to identify whether she is healthy. It's not even the point of the article.

Not saying that you are making it the issue of the article, just saying I didn't really even give that part of it much thought.

abhi21284• 13 years ago

No offense, but your advice sounds similar if you are saying to a woman to not to wear shorts or do not go out after 8PM otherwise she deserves to be get raped.

Pxtl4• 13 years ago

just more difficult

Why should she have to? If she's healthy and going further requires committing tremendous personal resources to weight-loss? For somebody who has a medical condition that causes their body to commit an inordinate amount of energy into fat production, reducing their intake to weight-loss levels may leave too little energy for the person to function effectively day-to-day. Or they may have to slave away on burning calories five hours a day. Is that a realistic project for the sake of vanity?

marknutter6• 13 years ago

Nobody said she has to. If she does want to, though, I think it's possible.

ye• 13 years ago

shaming me for having the audacity to go in public dressed as a sexy video game character

I don't think she gets it.

If you're ashamed of how you look, maybe the internet is not the problem.

ben0x5399• 13 years ago

Being shamed for something is not the same thing as nor implies a necessity of being ashamed of something.

xerophtye• 13 years ago

to elaborate on this excellent (though rather confusing) wording, I think you really don't get it. She didn't mean that they made her ashamed of the act, but that they were being hostile to her by saying stuff like "how DARE she dress up as a sexy video game character!! How dare she have FUN!!" get it?

ianstallings• 13 years ago

I don't think you get it. Life I mean. The Internet is not your personal zoo.

kartikkumar• 13 years ago

Who really cares what other people think about you, especially strangers that have no importance in your life? Haters are to be hated, but more than that I honestly think that life is too short to worry about what some random dumbass has to say about you. They're quite simply a waste of time and energy.

With that said, feel free to hate on me for this post ... cause I won't care ...

ben0x5399• 13 years ago

This kind of abuse affects different people very differently, and over a long time makes it really, really hard to keep up that "life is too short to worry about it" attitude. While the OP seems to be dealing well, don't underestimate how badly that sort of thing can drag you down and eg. sap all creative energy out of you.

a3voices4• 13 years ago

She reminded me that I was beautiful, and told me I would get through this. And then, like any kick-ass heroines, we came up with a plan.

I was hoping the plan would be to lose weight.

ben0x5399• 13 years ago

I was hoping the plan would be to lose weight.

That comment is really not particularly humorous (let alone insightful). Please try not to drag HN down to the level of discourse that the article is complaining about.

a3voices4• 13 years ago

It would actually have been a better plan though. What's interesting to me is that she doesn't seem to consider her weight to be the core problem. Her quality of life will remain lower because of her reluctance to lose it. The mean comments could have been a wake up call to her, like, "Hey, maybe I really do need to focus on losing weight."

xzcvczx3• 13 years ago

the thing i find surprising here is that the DMCA (assuming anyway) act is being used for blatant censorship, aka she wants her photo off the internet not because of its artistic qualities but because she doesn't like it being on the internet,

And while the internet can be rude and obnoxious if she is not careful she has a good chance of doing a streisand by trying to censor the internet using the DMCA which is the wrong tool for the job

Ilmesnkie_Jones2• 13 years ago

The DMCA doesn't care WHY you want to have your work removed from the internet all it cares about is that she owns the copyright in the work.

ben0x5399• 13 years ago

Your issue is with copyright in general, not the DMCA process in particular, I assume?

You kinda come off as more offended by her trying to get out of a shitty situation as best as possible than by the abuse she's receiving in the first place.

xzcvczx3• 13 years ago

I am not offended at all by her trying to get out of the shitty situation, and she has my sympathies for the situation she found herself in, however after seeing a fair few instances of the DMCA being used in the past for censorship as opposed to "protecting copyright" (and yes i realise she owns the copyright on the photo, so technically it can be considered protecting copyright) where it has turned into a streisand effect. including people replicating the hosting of the image/video/media in thousands of places to rebel against the censorship of the internet, based on a law from a single country

icebraining2• 13 years ago

If artistic merits were required for the DMCA to have effect, labels would be fucked.

xzcvczx3• 13 years ago

touche

djmollusk• 13 years ago

Always better to embrace it instead of fighting it or letting it make you feel bad.

jader2012• 13 years ago

I thought one of the more interesting points, at least in the context of HN, was that the Facebook users didn't even know she could read her posts.

Not that I feel sorry for them, just that so many people use Facebook all the time and have no idea how simple things like this really work and who is able to see their content.

How much is posted on Facebook in the view of the public that wasn't intended for the public?

joetech• 13 years ago

The internet becomes much more tolerable when you learn to tune out the trolls who find their only happiness in trying to bring down others.

exo_duz• 13 years ago

Rather than use the criticism to put you down and make you depressed. Use it as a motivation to drive you to achieve what your goals.

Saying that though, if you are happy with yourself the way you are. And you are healthy. Then why do you care what faceless people on the Internet think of you?

The Internet is full of hateful, little people who hide behind the facade that just because they are online they can be whoever they like. I've been through all this before and I would never let it get me down. Instead I used it to drive me harder to achieve my goals.

You are beautiful, keep thinking that and don't let these people get you down!!!

peterwwillis• 13 years ago

The Internet is a town square.

You, sitting at home with your friends, might happen across an amusing picture and chuckle at it. Maybe even take some joy at some else's pain - we all do that occasionally, it's fairly human. While it's not a good thing to do all the time, you can enjoy yourself and your friends in privacy. Maybe even poke some good-natured fun.

But those comments should remain in your living room. If you saw this person in the middle of the town square, and pointed and laughed at them - that's an incredibly, stupendously dick thing to do. It not only is insulting and mean, it encourages others to do the same thing.

Real people get hurt. Children commit suicide every year due to online bullying, and adults too. The emotional scars that don't kill will still hurt for years. Don't be the biggest douchebag in the world, and keep your comments to your living room - and to yourself.

dccoolgai• 13 years ago

This seems totally related to startups and technology in a concrete way... I can't imagine where else on the internet I would be able to see a story like this... We should try to upvote more "human interest" stories like this to block out the noise of boring stuff like Pythonscript people try to get on the FP sometimes ... <3HN!!!

jere• 13 years ago

My favorite part about this thread is people who have abundant energy, high metabolisms, perfect health, who once gained a couple pounds after being exceptionally lazy and indulgent, lost it with no effort, and now think everyone who is overweight is constantly stuffing their face and deserve their plight.

Protip: you have no fucking clue what this woman's moment to moment life is like.

drjesusphd• 13 years ago

I think it's awesome that you're facing this head on, putting yourself out there even more, just to make people aware of a growing problem. Kudos!

shawkinaw• 13 years ago

Never read the comments.

kaitai3• 13 years ago

It is sadly typical that this comment thread is full of discussions of how the protagonist should lose weight. Thanks for reminding me, HN, how fat women do not automatically deserve basic politeness [1].

I could be a skinnier person myself by counting calories and sprinting along with my Olympic lifting and kettlebell workouts. I know that my effort could be rewarded with a svelter frame. But you know what? I HAVE MORE INTERESTING THINGS TO DO! Maybe the protagonist, too, has something better or more fun to do with her life.

[1] A small sampling of evidence: Uberphallus living up to name: "At this point I just don't understand why I should feel pity and display consideration to fat people..."

Driverdan: "I would also add that people who don't have a medical condition and who overeat cause the stigma people with medical conditions receive for being overweight." (Being fat causes stigma why?)

Marknutter: "I feel for her and the negative comments are reprehensible, but what I hear in this particular paragraph are excuses....My advice: ignore the haters and come up with a game plan with your doctor to lose the weight in a steady and health way." (re: OP's paragraph on having PCOS, being healthy.)

Alright. Time to do those more interesting things.

marknutter6• 13 years ago

Maybe the protagonist, too, has something better or more fun to do with her life.

I think the article would have had more impact if that was the reason she gave for her weight, rather than citing her medical issues. Instead, citing her medical issues seems to say that she is interested in losing weight, but sees those as insurmountable obstacles, and I was questioning their insurmountability. Apparently encouraging people to overcome difficult obstacles is considered offensive.

kaitai3• 13 years ago

I debated about including the quote from your content. It was not obviously offensive, unlike some others. It did assume that she was interested in losing weight, as you say above, which may or may not be true. Why do we give excuses, after all? Because we don't really want to do stuff :)

It's true that I'm happier now that I can usually just say I don't care or would rather do something else instead of making excuses. It's also true that a fat person saying they don't really care about losing weight is looked at like a two-headed guinea pig.

badman_ting• 13 years ago

The only thing I have to contribute is that I've noticed that making fun of people is often assumed to have a hateful undercurrent that isn't necessarily there. I mean, the two often go hand in hand, I'm not denying that, but it's really not necessary to hate someone or have contempt for them in order to find their appearance humorous. I feel like that assumption is a little bit too automatic, on both sides.

And if you are chiding others for their cruelty, do you not ever laugh at the appearance of another? Really, never? We are all human, and it would be good for each side of this issue to come to understand the other a bit better.

"Why do you think that's funny?" is a good question for someone who laughs at fat people out of hatred and self-superiority. For someone who is just laughing, though, there is no answer. The effect of explaining a joke is well-understood.

geldedus• 13 years ago

she asked for it :)

lnanek2• 13 years ago

I've been fat before. Used to eat a whole box of chocolate kudos bars a day as a kid. I don't think it's particularly odd to get made fun of for it. I got to eat the boxes of chocolates after all, it was a trade off. Other people worked harder and cared more about their health and are welcome to their opinions and the benefits of their work. Seems to be kind of shirking responsibility to say no one can criticize you for it. Even if you have health conditions you still have to put enough calories in your mouth to get that large and that is your decision. I think she is kind of hurting herself by wasting so much time issuing take down orders and contacting comment authors. It didn't matter what they said, but using up your time to fight them, that actually is a big negative to you, you could be out spending that time enjoying yourself.

kazagistar• 13 years ago

I remember I was in middle school when I first realized that "funniest home videos" was actually quite distasteful. There were people being hurt; why is there an entire TV show about laughing at them? The joy of /r/cringe and the like is simply lost on me now.

My embarrassing picture went viral

Related Stories