Girlfriend’s odd complaint about beau’s freelance career sparks concerns

http://m.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-girlfriends-odd-complaint-about-beaus-freelance-career-sparks-concerns/2013/05/21/b33da7f6-b748-11e2-aa9e-a02b765ff0ea_story.html?wpisrc=nl_hax

by Articulate • 13 years ago

10 9 13 years ago

m.washingtonpost.com

a3n2• 13 years ago

He's going to divorce her eventually, so he might as well break up now while it's free.

digitalsushi• 13 years ago

We're all going to die eventually, might as preempt that as well?

Why can't marriages be phases of our lives? Why try to avert failure by avoiding life?

Intermernet3• 13 years ago

I think the problem is the whole "til death do us part" line. I saw a stand-up comedian the other night who compared marriage to a mobile phone contract. You know, as soon as you buy that new shiny phone, there'll immediately be a newer, shinier model available! At least with a mobile phone contract, you get to choose a new one in 2 years.

I'm the wrong person to comment on this as I've been in a relationship for 16 years now with no marriage in sight. We're happy, we're committed, we require no symbolic ceremony in order to stay happy and committed.

personally, I think that the public perception of marriage is finally swinging around to the reality that over 50% of marriages in western society fail (that's the term used by those that are married, I'd prefer something simpler like "end"), and in a time frame shorter than the relationship I'm currently in.

a3n2• 13 years ago

I don't mean don't marry, the average person wants to bond, it's in our nature, and bonding can be great.

But if someone is trying to change who you are at a fundamental level, you should walk away. There's no such thing as "the only one for me," much as one side of a couple might try to condition the other side into thinking. As natural bonders, there are unlimited potential mates.

Enjoy your heart, but listen to your gut.

mnicole• 13 years ago

Having just had my boyfriend switch from 24/7 at-home freelance to working at his shop 7 days a week, this woman doesn't seem to understand the benefits she reaps from having someone at home and on-call most of the time (Do they have pets? Does he run errands? Is he there when maintenance shows up?). Not only this, but his mood has lowered and stress levels have skyrocketed, and given that I wake up at 6am and he doesn't get home until 8 or 9pm, we hardly spend time together anymore.

Depending on your drive, you can waste anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours+ a day commuting to and from, as oppose to using that time more efficiently or memorably.

Are there benefits to working from some office settings? Sure, but trying to claim he's less of a man for doing so is really the lowest and most absurd claim she could make. If she can't see that him being his own boss is better and more effective for him than having one, she's missing the point, the privilege and the potential.

Girlfriend’s odd complaint about beau’s freelance career sparks concerns

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