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by mthwl • 13 years ago

144 50 13 years ago

ctdonath• 13 years ago

Don't do anything you'll regret. Yes, you have that choice.

Don't regret anything you did. You did it in good faith (see above) with what information & resources you had at the time.

toomuchtodo• 13 years ago

Let me slightly correct this (I turned 30 in November).

The things you'll regret are the things you didn't do. I might not be proud of some of the things I did do, but I don't regret them. Never regret something you did; at one point its what you wanted.

bluedino• 13 years ago

I agree, but there's something about fondly looking back and things you did and enjoyed, that's similar to looking back at things you never did and think you would have enjoyed, even if they might have gone horribly wrong if you had did them.

gyardley• 13 years ago

Never regret something you did; at one point its what you wanted.

At times in my life I've behaved like a completely immoral asshole. Are you seriously suggesting that I shouldn't regret these times, just because I wanted to be an immoral asshole at the time?

If you act like an evil bastard, you most certainly should regret it. You were bad, and you should feel bad. That feeling bad is part of what keeps you from doing it again.

drostie• 13 years ago

I like this idea of modern proverbs, and look forward to finding more in the HN Comments. Here's what I'll provide:

No story survives contact with the players: they will always outsmart you and come up with a novel solution to your best-designed traps. You must learn to be gracious when this happens and improvise a satisfactory result. Characters on a page are a little easier to control, but will also push back when you write them.

My parents adopted two of my brothers. People refer to adoption by saying they're "not really your" kids: I am not sure why. They really and truly are my brothers.

You cannot choose your immediate emotional responses but you can choose your overall outlook. Your overall outlook colors those emotional responses; a peaceful mind handles stresses and uncertainties much better than an anxious one. Thus, don't assume that there exists only one perspective on truth, but search for the perspectives that make life easier.

The now is all there is. You can't daydream your life away in the past or the future. In that sense: really experience this moment. However, all of your ideas have been done better by geniuses in days long past, in histories which did not become our particular present. In that sense, the present is overwhelming you with details which are not essential. So don't forget to practice history and have an outlook on the future. Just don't live in those places.

If I ever find myself frustrated with someone else, it's usually because they are doing something which I myself am guilty of doing. I think we often get mad at our own sins seen in other peoples' acts. Adopt this stranger as your brother, and that stranger as your sister.

You have a thousand bad _____ which must come out before the good work will start coming out. Fill that blank in with paintings, songs, poems, programs, thrown frisbees, approaches to management, whatever. Be skeptical when anyone speaks of talent.

MatthewPhillips2• 13 years ago

> If you drink beer, drink the absolute best beer available, even if that means you can afford fewer beers.

If you're thirty it's time to pick a dark liquor and drink it straight. You can still drink beer, and yes you should have moved beyond beers that don't advertise what type of beer they are by now, but when out with other adult company drink a dark liquor (but no more than 2 or 3 drinks, "getting wasted" is not something adults do).

blairbeckwith2• 13 years ago

I can't tell if you're serious. Wouldn't the world be a better place if people just drank what they wanted to drink?

127001brewer• 13 years ago

As a former (beer) home-brewer (hence my HN handle), just drink what you want to drink. I may prefer craft beers, but that's a choice that I'm not going to force onto others.

westonh• 13 years ago

I love bourbon and scotch as much as any self-respecting man, but the sheer variety of beer is what makes it my go-to option. There are few things more satisfying than a nice, cold craft beer, even more so when drinking with others as you can take a taste from everyone's glass.

run4yourlives3• 13 years ago

Personally, I can't stand dark liquors. There is no enjoyment in scotch, whiskey or cognac for me, no matter how wonderful the particular brand is. (My father was in fine dining... I've tried them all) Burning my mouth and throat with a substance isn't my idea of a good time.

Give me a good craft beer, a nice gin, or a good bottle of red any day of the week.

MatthewPhillips2• 13 years ago

You can definitely acquire a taste for dark liquor. People make the mistake of either 1) taking shots 2) trying to drink it straight 3) mixing it with something and drinking way too much. All of those add up to a bad association that you can smell every time you try it again in the future. You have to ease in to it. Start off drinking it on the rocks with a splash or two of water. Baby it. After a while the ice will water it down so much the taste isn't harsh at all, nor will it burn. Keep drinking it like this and eventually you'll start to acquire a taste for it and you can scale back on the amount of water you need to dilute it. Some people never like warm liquor which is fine, on the rocks is acceptable ;)

drakeandrews• 13 years ago

This is a strange sentiment to me, moreso because it's something my own father has expressed he'd like to do. But as someone who considers "getting wasted" something I'm happy leaving to other people, what's wrong with drinking a nice beer or two, or a couple of glasses of wine, in good company?

btrautsc3• 13 years ago

I'm no expert in adult-ism, but some of the most memorable times I've had in the past few years is when those "adults" (older & younger) in my life shed that sheen of expected behavior & professionalism and let loose. Real things happen. Nights you talk about for years happen. Sure, its not an every weekend or monthly thing, but those times are sure refreshing.

As good ol' Doc Holliday said: "In vino veritas"

glomph2• 13 years ago

How immature are you that you would call people who don't like the same drinks as you childish?

itsybitsycoder2• 13 years ago

“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” ~ CS Lewis

My favorite drink is Diet Coke with peach schnapps.

glomph2• 13 years ago

Nice quote.

blairbeckwith2• 13 years ago

Usually, posts like this make me gag a little on the cheesiness, but this was well done. There's some really good advice in here. I especially like:

"Let people leave your life when they need to. Leave a light on for them in case they ever decide to return. Collect those lights and regularly remember why you keep them lit."

jonstjohn2• 13 years ago

I take serious issue with this: "Placing a ripe, soft avocado in a refrigerator will extend its life by two days, give or take." I've actually found that it can extend the life of an avocado for a week or more, depending on the avocado and when it is placed in the fridge :)

mhowland• 13 years ago

Fun fact. Placing a halved avocado in a bag of water will save it from oxidation overnight, as will face down on a plate with oil (olive, veggie, etc) creating a seal. #AvocadoHacking

jonstjohn2• 13 years ago

Nice tip! I only learned about refrigerating avocados recently and it's awesome to not have to consume a whole bag of avocados within a couple of days :) I'll definitely try the avocado in water trick.

will_work4tears• 13 years ago

I've found lime juice works pretty well for this too.

gerjomarty2• 13 years ago

In addition to

> Every photograph and video you take at a concert or other live event will probably be terrible. Just enjoy the moments, don’t feel pressured to document them.

I would also add that while singing along at concerts certainly has its time and place, actually listening to the artist singing is better.

slg2• 13 years ago

I think it depends on why you are attending the concert. I don't attend as many as I did in my teens, but back then it was more about community than music. In hindsight, the music those bands played wasn't particularly good. The real draw was getting together with a bunch of like minded people and just "having a good time." That often included singing, dancing, and generally not paying attention to what happened on the stage. If you truly want to enjoy the music, odds are that it can be done easier and cheaper from the comfort of your own home. The same applies for most other live events, whether they be WWDC sessions or sporting events.

gerjomarty2• 13 years ago

That is very true, but there's something to be said for experiencing music live rather than at home with a nice set of headphones.

Also, I was fairly miffed when I went to a concert a while back and had the singer drowned out by five guys singing along really loudly right beside me. (We were quite far back from the stage.) It's great that they're having a good time, but they probably could have had just as good a time going to karaoke or something. Although you would lose the feeling of "being there".

Kuiper• 13 years ago

>while singing along at concerts certainly has its time and place, actually listening to the artist singing is better.

Depends on the venue and the artist. There are some artists that I like to see live because they're good at creating high-energy environment, and the endorphin release I get from singing along is part of that high-energy environment. Other musical performances I attend based on my appreciation of the music and less the act. Generally speaking, if I don't have a seat, there's a good chance that I'm going to spend most of the set singing.

egb• 13 years ago

Fun list, but morning people do love to spread their belief like a gospel. :-) Some of us quite enjoy staying up late.

run4yourlives3• 13 years ago

As a nighthawk myself, the thing about morning people that I've come to realize in my 38 years is that they are 100% right. Life is much, much better with an extra hour or two of time before the day than an extra hour or two after the day.

I've tried, and tried and tired, but I can't do mornings. I hate them for it.

itsybitsycoder2• 13 years ago

I'm (usually) a night owl too but lately, for some unknown reason, I've been waking up at 6-7 every morning feeling fine, and I agree. An hour or two of time before the day is an hour or two when you're still fresh, so I find it easier to use this time to work on a personal project, play music, or some other productive/enriching thing. An extra hour or two at the end of the day is usually just eaten up by pointless things (e.g., entertainment after I'm already 'fully entertained').

skizm• 13 years ago

I'm assuming #1 is supposed to be a joke/irony?

dancole• 13 years ago

> #31: Once in a while, when you feel strongly about it, break a rule.

Also, it's not unsolicited when people are voluntarily reading what he wrote.

sutterbomb3• 13 years ago

> Every photograph and video you take at a concert or other live event will probably be terrible. Just enjoy the moments, don’t feel pressured to document them.

I've changed my mind about this one because of a service called Timehop. Every day it grabs any photos, social media updates etc. from 1 year prior and stuffs them in an email (or push notification in the app). It's a great way to remember, and appreciate, what you've been doing and where you've been. A shitty little photo from a concert will take 15 seconds from "the moment" but give me that enjoyment back down the line, sometimes tenfold. (Since the additional marginal enjoyment of those 15 seconds is small, but the marginal enjoyment of reliving that experience a year later is much larger.)

Overall though I really liked the post.

jimray• 13 years ago

And the aggregate affect of a crowd full of people instagramming just about every moment of a concert means I basically watch live shows through the screens of other people's phones these days. Throw in a dozen crummy LED flashes going off for most of the show and the experience is pretty much killed for me.

If there's one development in concert-going over the past decade that I really loathe, more than the consolidation of ticket sellers, the subsequent rise in ticket prices, the steady increase in the cost of beer, my own age and sore back after 4 hours, everyone else's insistence that they need to photograph (or worse, VIDEO) a show has got to be the top of the list.

And while I appreciate your edge case here that Timehop provides, most of those photographs are just being uploaded to Facebook to show off how vastly interesting they are to everyone who's not there. Cultivating other people's FOMO.

Ok, enough of my old man kvetching. I genuinely do think it's cool that Timehop let's you relive those little moments as much as I genuinely regret the loss of my enjoyment of living those moments at the time they are happening.

sutterbomb3• 13 years ago

> most of those photographs are just being uploaded to Facebook to show off how vastly interesting they are to everyone who's not there. Cultivating other people's FOMO.

Too true. I guess it's also a bit of a tragedy of the commons. I don't feel like my 15 seconds of keeping a phone in the air is all that problematic for those around me - but it quickly gets out of hand when the entire audience feels the same way. (And doing it much longer/more frequently than just a single snap once or twice a show.)

jonmc12• 13 years ago

"Other people cannot always see your intentions, they can see your actions." - so true, so important to understand.

I would add exercise to the list for sure. The energy and cognitive boost absolutely required to be at your best as you age.

jelled• 13 years ago

"Own fewer things..."

I turned 30 ten days ago and have thought about this one a lot recently. It's an interesting transition, because when you enter your 20's you typically have no stuff and thus everything is valuable. Your parents old couch, your roommate's spatula he left behind when he moved out, ect. Getting out of that mentality took me longer then it should.

jkmcf• 13 years ago

My corollary to this is buying the best thing you can reasonably concieve of affording.

My prime example is a guitar. Once you move from the starter knockoffs, you should start investigating the more expensive models to find what you like. Don't wander through life buying mediocre.

(This isn't to say you can't find more affordable quality or satisfaction, but at some point may wish you had ponied up for that PRS or Gibson after having purchased numerous used guitars whose sum exceeds the value of what you really wanted :)

xymostech• 13 years ago

Seems fitting that #30 is the best advice on there.

eob• 13 years ago

Not really a HN-worthy comment, but I just wanted to point out the humor in his first piece of unsolicited advice to the internet at large: "Try not to give unsolicited advice". :)

justanother• 13 years ago

"If you drink beer, drink the absolute best beer available, even if that means you can afford fewer beers."

A lot of good points in this post, but on this we must respectfully disagree. Yours truly, an almost-36-year-old with Miller High Life by the gallon.

btrautsc3• 13 years ago

A man after my own heart! Good day, Sir!

philsnow• 13 years ago

how can one refuse the champagne of beers ?

obviouslygreen• 13 years ago

This is nice despite being extremely subjective ("know" is not something I'd apply to most of these things; "believe" is strong enough and correct), but some of them are questionable, and -- assuming the author didn't actually follow them in his younger years -- could've resulted in things being worse.

Prime example: If given the opportunity, people will surprise you. Leaving yourself open to these surprises is a kind of risk. Taking that risk is how you believe in people.

Yes, they certainly will, and yes, it's most definitely a risk. Unfortunately, that surprise, when it does come, is rarely good. Also, taking that risk too often can lead you to believe in people if you're lucky in your acquaintances; it can just as easily (if not more so) lead to the exact opposite if you're unlucky.

bryne• 13 years ago

Your history of negative experiences is a nice anecdote, despite being extremely subjective.

xijuan• 13 years ago

>Kindness, and the strength to display it in all situations, is the single most admirable quality that people can possess.

I totally agree with this. The people I admire the most are the kindest people I have ever met. I really aspire to be one of them.

btrautsc3• 13 years ago

Love posts like this that find their own way of delivering a broad spectrum of advice from a unique life.

Something I've learned:

Everyone is the main character in their own story. Once you understand this, peoples' motivations make a lot more sense. Let people be their story's hero. Be your story's hero. But don't be other story's antagonist. Try to be the ally in other stories. You will end up with a lot of trusty sidekicks.

thebear• 13 years ago

Several people have pointed out a possible irony in Item 1, "Try not to give unsolicited advice." Be that as it may, I have a different issue with this item. The vast majority of the unsolicited advice that I have received in my life was useless and annoying. But then practically all of the truly valuable advice that I have received was unsolicited.

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