Dad Didn't Need a TaskRabbit

https://www.insidehook.com/culture/why-cant-men-fix-anything-anymore

by RickJWagner • 1 month ago

2 6 1 month ago

Hugsbox2• 1 month ago

Maybe this is unique to people who grow up in cities? Where I live, kids today are still growing up learning practical skills. When something breaks in my house, I fix it. If it's something I've never dealt with before, I learn. At a certain point, if you find yourself incapable of household repairs that's more on you than anything, there's plenty of resources out there.

Though then again, the author mentions being "accustomed to visiting the grocery store" as if that's not something literally all of us have to do, so... I'm not sure what to think.

JohnFen• 1 month ago

Maybe this is unique to people who grow up in cities?

And/or generational? I grew up and live in cities, but I also know practical skills like that (fixing things, growing and preparing food, routine maintenance, etc.) I taught them to my children. I'm of the opinion that knowing how to do these things is an important part of being a fully functioning adult.

But, I'm also old. At least old enough to be the "dad" the article describes.

Hugsbox2• 1 month ago

Maybe generational? I get the idea I'm about the author's age just from context clues in the article. I turned 30 a few months ago. But I grew up and continue to live out in the country, and there's a certain expectation of being able to do things yourself around here. I'm sure there's a wide variety of factors that play into how handy a person might be.

cmollis• 1 month ago

when I was young, we lived with my grandparents after my parents divorce. My grandfather worked in a factory in trenton, NJ; in fact, both of my grandfathers did..now there are no factories. Nevertheless, he had a garage full of tools, vises (and vices.. i used to find his cigarettes and try one here and there). Maybe just by sheer proximity, i would find his tools and try to build things.. badly, but i did learn how to cut things, bend things, screw things together. As I got older, i got into sports so I stopped 'tinkering', but I never forgot it. I took apart my moped engine just to see if I could put it back together.. I almost got it right. I built a gangplank for my parents boat that i thought was pretty sturdy. I proudly brought it down to their boat for a ceremonious 'launch'. I took a single step on it and unceremoniously fell through it into the bay (true story). I didn't think I was smart enough to go into engineering, so I decided in a very roundabout way to go into computer science in college. This scratched my itch to build something.. anything, and I turned it into a marginally successful career. My step dad was also very handy around the house. I distinctly remember my mother asking me to hang with my step dad to learn how he fixed all of our cars. My answer : 'I'll just pay someone to do it,' Naivete at its finest. Although, admittedly, I'm an average developer, but I'm still endlessly fascinating with making things.. even more fascinated with learning how other smarter people do it (thanks HN!). When I became home owner, I was never daunted by installing light switches, building shelves, minor plumbing or car repairs, anything. I think it goes back to my grandfather's garage of my youth. The article talks about the intense structure of childhood.. the endless competition of college admissions, the lack of time to just 'tinker' or make things.. however dumb or useless . I see all of that in my own kids who haven't had the same 'time' for lack of a better word. Of course, the brutal economics of adulting will literally force some of that on you, but without some kind of introduction to it, you're at a distinct disadvantage. I'm glad I had at least some kind of exposure to it as it doesn't really go away.

w0de0• 1 month ago

I can do it all, but I have my own boat. We choose how we live.

k310• 1 month ago

I guess it's the "tinker factor"

My paternal grandfather was a carpenter, and his sons (My Dad and two uncles) lived in homes next to each other. Our home was built by them before I could recall, and I remember Uncle Albert's home going up. I DO recall driving just one nail there. Perhaps that's all they trusted me to do.

Two brothers, including Dad, were artists. The other was an electronic engineer.

Dad had about three tools to his name. And in spite of that, because of that?, I grew up tinkering. Cousin Bill and I would meander over to his Dad's collection of broken TV's and war surplus LORAN sets and twiddle knobs and maybe disassemble a particularly hosed TV set.

I got into electronic and optical engineering (despite all the camera gear that Dad had was a Brownie Reflex, whose photos I am still trying to rescue from overexposure and poor focus). Cousin Bill became a priest.

It sure varies. But I guess the big take-away was that "You built it and fixed it". We had a neighbor (apparently the electrical inspector) come over and check/fix the wiring, but afterwards, with my crystal "Rocket Radio" (high tech of the times) I found that the baseboards were "hot" electrically to some degree, not just thermally, apparently not fatal. So, there's a learned "NIH" factor as well. One of Dad's cousins, a plumber, did reliable work.

I grew up in suburbs and lived in suburbs all my life. No city. No country, until somewhere in my 60's when I divorced and moved to the styx. I bought a manufactured home that had been lived in only on rare visits, so it was like new. Pretty good, but the well work was shoddy, and caused me some grief. It was all exposed, so ants would crawl into the pressure switch and get electrocuted (and shut down the operation) and it would freeze now and then. So, I had a pump house built, with heated electrical tapes on the pipes. Ants stayed away. Later, a breaker died of old age, and the well company guy did an absolutely abominable hack repair job, so I called in a real contractor and got the boxes up to code.

These things were already beyond my ability to do right. But I still retained the tinker/fixer instinct. Being on a ridge, a very high perch, winds would hit the gutters (which had a break to accommodate a dormer) from end-on and underneath, rather than head on, the 99.999% situation, and pull them away from the fascia. I eventually found a steady fix, but already at the "guys your age should not be climbing extension ladders" age. So, after 11 or so years, the appeal of suburbs and only minor repairs (I still hate plumbing of all sorts) appeals. Not to mention the 17 mile drive on two-lane twisty "cant see what's ahead" mountain roads, just to do grocery shopping (the better stores are 50 miles away)

What will I want to fix (besides computerish things) in the future? Probably just minor repairs, and what to do with the back room full of electronic parts and small hardware? I am working on that. I used to build computers (S-100 O.G. stuff) and had a bunch of those Chilton books! but no such need for a long time.

I'll probably still tinker with electronic and electrical things (safely) depending on home costs or rents limiting free space.

I do think that it's largely instinct, give or take nudging by parents, siblings and buddies.

YMMV.

Dad Didn't Need a TaskRabbit

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