No Uptime Hosting (2006)

https://nouptime.com/

by Viraxi • 2 years ago

251 78 2 years ago

nouptime.com

RcouF1uZ4gsC• 2 years ago

This is a great host for all my privacy disclosures for my websites and apps.

janwillemb2• 2 years ago

Free identity theft included!

DrWhax• 2 years ago

You might also like http://pauperhosting.nl/

mrklol• 2 years ago

The link behind "Click here for English" is a good one, I have to remember that. Good idea.

input_sh• 2 years ago

Next to a German flag, even though the website's in Dutch. Perfect.

stavros• 2 years ago

I once had a link on a Greek website that said "click here if you don't speak Greek" and linked to a "learn Greek online" search.

skrebbel2• 2 years ago

I like how deep the rabbit hole goes on pauperhosting. The accidentally included admin panel with leaked customer db, the VPS demo, everything. I'm pretty sure I haven't even discovered half of it yet.

isoprophlex• 2 years ago

Almost all the customer names in that excel file are taken from "huilende rappers - waddepjedangedaan", on a joke rap album by drum and bass legends noisia. It's all in Dutch... but the made up names are so incredibly funny that i use them for dummy data everywhere.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o4uLvqM7Clc

pdonis• 2 years ago

I like how clicking "here" for English takes you to a DuckDuckGo search.

johndunne• 2 years ago

How do we know they even power up any servers at all, for the service? I mean, they could simply just not power up any servers at all. Till then, I’ll opt for the ‘take-my-money’ plan.

ralegh• 2 years ago

Ideally they wouldn’t need to power up the servers but you can see from the graph that unfortunately there’s still some uptime, though they are working on it, maybe once they reach 100% downtime

ataru• 2 years ago

I think I heard that moving from 99.99% unavailability to 99.999% unavailability costs ten times more.

pylua• 2 years ago

This is a great place to host all those litigation hold files.

deno• 2 years ago

The site being currently up does not inspire confidence.

pauldraper4• 2 years ago

This is just the marketing site.

Reasonable to expect it's hosted on different infra with different reliability

janwillemb2• 2 years ago

It even survives the HN hug of death. Very disappointing.

hansvm5• 2 years ago

How bad is the HN hug of death btw? My laptop can serve 200k QPS per core. I can't imagine HN is that much more intensive? Are 1vCPU VMs just that much worse?

codetrotter2• 2 years ago

This one pairs great with https://devnull-as-a-service.com/

I mean, just check this list of features:

https://devnull-as-a-service.com/features/

And the pricing is super competitive too!

https://devnull-as-a-service.com/pricing/

salviati• 2 years ago

Yep! Also this one comes to mind

http://www.supersimplestorageservice.com/

lovestory• 2 years ago

Finally I have discovered where my university moodle servers are located!

didgeoridoo• 2 years ago

Don't like uploading your files via FTP? No problem! Send us your files on a floppy and we'll upload it for you. It's one of the many ways we do our best to accommodate your needs. Just remember, our floppy system does not accept Windows, Linux, or Mac floppies.

OS/2 Warp is back, baby!

theden• 2 years ago

Sign me up!

teeray• 2 years ago

I heard they’re announcing unlimited write-only object storage soon

pauldraper4• 2 years ago

Perfect place for hosting internal docs

jand• 2 years ago

I am not very good at telling jokes.

But even i can tell, that this is low effort. You really get a laugh out of it? Like "hahahaha, they said PHP 5"?

0x073• 2 years ago

And php 6 doesn't exists.

Retr0id2• 2 years ago

That's a little thing we call a joke.

helsinki• 2 years ago

Yeah, agreed.

skilled• 2 years ago

This site is very, very old.

graynk• 2 years ago

Yes.

hypeatei• 2 years ago

Wow this is the kind of thing that will disrupt a ton of industries!

jfengel• 2 years ago

/golf clap

louwrentius3• 2 years ago

DTaaS

Down-time as a Service

freedomben• 2 years ago

This looks like a good service for compute, but it's way over priced for storage. It probably makes most sense to use the included disk for application code only and store all data in something like S4 [1]

[1] http://www.supersimplestorageservice.com/

peterleiser• 2 years ago

Under "Key scenarios" they include "SETI@home output recorder". Ouch.

louwrentius3• 2 years ago

I have a new business idea.

I’m going to rent out 64-core systems with oodles of RAM, with ZFS.

This is the catch: the ZFS pool is based on mirrors of 3.5 inch floppies

nehal3m• 2 years ago

That's a Sweet Dream.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGfkPCZYfFw

louwrentius3• 2 years ago

I got the reference ;-)

iwontberude• 2 years ago

Don’t forget https://HostGecko.com

I miss these old joke websites. No Uptime is old af

OuterVale• 2 years ago

The site could be improved with a Cloudflare 'always online' banner.

https://blog.cloudflare.com/cloudflares-always-online-and-th...

rvnx• 2 years ago

Protected by CrowdStrike

renonce• 2 years ago

This website is indeed hosted by Cloudflare.

atum47• 2 years ago

I wonder if I can make an interesting project using the I'm-poor specs

Retr0id2• 2 years ago

https://archive.is/fqe0o

6510• 2 years ago

up since 2016!

https://nouptime.com/admin.php

Waterluvian• 2 years ago

Ugh. I can’t get to the purchase screen. Nothing seems to work properly. 24/8 support?! This site is a joke.

surfingdino• 2 years ago

Soon to be acquired by CrowdStrike

nanodeath• 2 years ago

The HTML source is pretty good too. A doctype that's half HTML5, half XHTML. A pre-IE7 script tag thing. A meta-keywords tag. Lists that don't actually use any list tags. Raw PHP tags being dumped into the HTML output. No closing body or html tags. This joke has _layers_, man.

godzillabrennus• 2 years ago

Needs more iframes from the sound of it…

65• 2 years ago

Needs more <center> and spacer.gifs too!

skrebbel2• 2 years ago

And regular frames.

daft_pink• 2 years ago

clearly you need to setup a competitor as you really know what you’re doing ;)

btdmaster• 2 years ago

Submitting https://nouptime.com/support.php calls error('5') but error is not defined anywhere in the JavaScript code.

account422• 2 years ago

No closing body or html tags.

Well those are officially optional now so it's just well optmized HTML.

fallat• 2 years ago

Finally a service that tells the truth!

jejeyyy77• 2 years ago

everything about this design is such a throwback.

neogodless• 2 years ago

The support form does nothing at all, but I think it would be much more effective if it led me to believe it did a lot more than it does.

fideloper• 2 years ago

Agree, was disappointed there was no easter egg here.

omoikane• 2 years ago

This reminds me of Microsith, which had a support form where you can ask it questions, but the response was always "format and reinstall".

https://web.archive.org/web/20050206190826/http://microsith....

dangoodmanUT• 2 years ago

Free Identity Theft

UniverseHacker• 2 years ago

Less mistakes and nonsense facts in the features list than half the products on Aliexpress and Amazon these days.

toast0• 2 years ago

Yeah, but does it come with IPMI that doesn't work?

tempodox• 2 years ago

It has Dedicated Win 3.11, so it would be the perfect platform for the current CrowdStrike craze.

anfractuosity• 2 years ago

Out of interest, that mentions "Dedicated Win 3.11", so silly question, I assume you would be able to install DOS on a dedicated server, but might it be possible to run DOS/Win 3.11 on EC2 (I couldn't find a publicly accessible list of AMIs)

aaviator42• 2 years ago

Twitter account for this site is still active: https://x.com/nouptime

jszymborski• 2 years ago

That is such a classic template.

No Uptime Hosting (2006)

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