Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person

by manx • 4 years ago

66 46 4 years ago

cracked.com

keybored• 4 years ago

Such a Fight Club article.

adamnemecek2• 4 years ago

This summarizes it so well. There’s this type of guys who think that any of this is insightful.

triceratops2• 4 years ago

Funnily, the article references Fight Club to reject one main character's central message:

"For instance, some people want to respond to that speech with Tyler Durden's line from Fight Club: "You are not your job."

But, well, actually, you totally are. Granted, your "job" and your means of employment might not be the same thing, but in both cases, you are nothing more than the sum total of your useful skills. For instance, being a good mother is a job that requires a skill. It's something a person can do that is useful to other members of society. But make no mistake: Your "job" -- the useful thing you do for other people -- is all you are... Tyler said, "You are not your job," but he also founded and ran a successful soap company and became the head of an international social and political movement. He was totally his job."

MrVandemar• 4 years ago

You misunderstand Tyler's philosophy -- he's railing against the idea your job and your identity should be the same thing. They definitely shouldn't be. Here's a hypothetical concersation, loosely cribbed from an old crimethink comic...

Alice: Hello Bob, nice to meet you. What do you do?

Bob: I'm a GoNodeRust programmer at StillCompiling Co. Nice to meet you too. What do you do?

Alice: I knit these jumpers for friends. I go jogging twice a week and I'm 3rd dan in karate. I self publish romance stories. I volunteer at a charity shop on Tuesdays. I'm reading "Pride and Prejudice" for the 19th time and I'm half way through. I'm restoring an old chair I found in an op-shop.

Bob: No really, what do you do?

The things Alice does are part of who she is, and how she defines herself: she does things for friends. She writes. She reads. She's practical and does stuff with her hands.

Alice's job is a 4-day a week receptionist at BoringAccountingFirm Inc. She's good at her job, and it keeps the lights on, and food on the table ... But to answer the question "What do you do?" or even "Who are you?" with your job is often selling yourself very short.

jleyank• 4 years ago

How about a simpler mantra: whenever possible, don’t be an asshole. Whenever possible, don’t work for one.

pringlepong• 4 years ago

We all adhere to that mantra already. That's why we're not being assholes to each other, we're just being assertive/straight-talking/pragmatic/realistic/tough-love. And if we were being an asshole, it was unavoidable / necessary in that situation. And if it wasn't, it was just a rare slip-up on our part, we're not normally like that, everyone slips up sometimes, to err is human, and only a total asshole would call us an asshole for such an trivial and inevitable lapse in our normally-impeccable judgement.

unsupp0rted• 4 years ago

My only defense for these situations is to stop and genuinely consider whether I was being an asshole and if so, to say so loudly and categorically and apologize for the inevitable lapse in my normally mediocre judgement.

dqpb2• 4 years ago

There are many axes right? Niceness, Competency, Action, etc. Surely each one matters.

escapedmoose2• 4 years ago

It’s like Diane’s response when Bojack Horseman asks if he’s “a good person, deep down”:

“I don’t really think there is a deep down. I think we are just the things we do.”

That line really resonated with me. It stings, but it also motivates. I think if more people recognized it, they might do more good things (and/or stop being so hard on themselves if they’re already in the habit of doing good things).

derbOac• 4 years ago

I think there's something about this article that isn't just off, but encourages a sort of psychopathy-victim dynamic.

Where it oversimplifies reality, just for a few examples:

What about cases where people take credit for what others do?

What about when people prevent others from doing things, so as to create artificial scarcity?

Are others really knowledgeable about the long-term value of something to themselves? Are actors rational?

Just for instance: all of the characters in that Glengarry Glen Ross scene are white. What if that character decided blacks are worthless because no one wants to do business with a black person? Do we just passively shrug and say that's reasonable, if true? What about the long-term consequences of a workplace environment like the one in the film? Is there another way of doing it? What about the higher-order value of sales benefiting that company?

I think there's a certain false wisdom about the perspective of the article that rings hollow to me at this stage. Like, it's not just cold or harsh, but false.

Not too long ago there was an article posted here at HN about a sort of bias to see cynicism as intelligent, and I guess I see this as part of that pattern. I've met too many people in my life that justify rewarded narrowmindedness, bigotry, incompetence, or psychopathy in terms of "how life is". Maybe at some level that's true but to me it leads to a certain psychopathic brand of meaningless tautology in which we're all either swindlers or marks.

escapedmoose2• 4 years ago

Sure, in society at large, you’re often going to go without reward for doing good things, because of some confounding nonsense. This article breezes past that. But the author seemed like they were trying to speak on a personal level, and I can see why it would resonate with a lot of people on that personal level. There are plenty of other thinkpieces out there if you want to dig into all of society’s woes.

throwawayboise2• 4 years ago

It's just a movie, and it was used as hyperbole to illustrate the point that to an overwhelming degree, what matters is what you do, not (only) how you feel about it. It wasn't an endorsement of bosses being assholes or toxic work environments.

Later in the piece the author discusses how feelings can be the motivator for doing good things, but the doing is the part that really matters.

dqpb2• 4 years ago

I would say there is a deep down, with an infinite range of subtleties, but it’s ultimately discretized into the things we do.

Moreover, the whole point of anything happening deep down, is that it results in us doing something.

astrange4• 4 years ago

"Deep down" / "self-actualization" / "self-discovery" is leftover German Romanticism that's reappeared in things like New Age and some kinds of psychotherapy.

It's not true of course; there's no soul and no real true self that's separate from the things you do. You just are your memories and the things you do. You might take a vacation and find some new hobby you like doing, but that's not because it's part of your true self.

Riverheart• 4 years ago

Why are people so hard are themselves? A selfish man being generous should feel good right? But he feels nothing because his instinct disagrees with his actions. He recognizes this and despairs. Who we are and what we do are not the same.

atom_arranger• 4 years ago

Similar to this article: The first few episodes of the Cracked podcast are pretty interesting.

juanci_to• 4 years ago

Add [2012] to the title

8bitsrule• 4 years ago

In Childhood's End, Arthur Clarke wrote:

"No utopia can ever give satisfaction to everyone, all the time. As their material conditions improve, men raise their sights and become discontented with power and possessions that once would have seemed beyond their wildest dreams. And even when the external world has granted all it can, there still remain the searchings of the mind and the longings of the heart."

A century ago "harsh truths" pushed child laborers into mines and mills. Those whose minds are searching and hearts are longing also need intangible benefits for which "What You Are Inside" very very much matters, despite the reality tunnel of the Cracked Philosopher. Great parents and teachers know this.

throwawayboise2• 4 years ago

"Harsh truths" got us to the point where children don't have to work in mines and mills anymore.

ilrwbwrkhv• 4 years ago

I remember this article from 2012. Had a major effect on my life.

camoufleur• 4 years ago

Rene Daumal quote with a similar message:

I am dead because I lack desire,

I lack desire because I think I possess,

I think I possess because I do not try to give,

In trying to give, you see that you have nothing,

Seeing that you have nothing, you try to give of yourself,

Trying to give of yourself, you see that you are nothing,

Seeing that you are nothing, you desire to become,

In desiring to become, you begin to live.

SpikeDad• 4 years ago

Stopped reading after the first "harsh truth". In no way does the scenario described have any relevance to life. Period.

mbrodersen• 4 years ago

What a great read. The author truly gets it.

adamnemecek2• 4 years ago

What a shitty article.

ThisIsMyAltFace• 4 years ago

People who like to tell "Harsh Truths" do it because they like to be harsh, they don't really care about the truth.

winternett• 4 years ago

People in this world often convince themselves they're religious, but under cover they operate in some of the most spineless and inconsiderate ways... It's one of the big contradictions in life.

Do you save the environment? Or do you sell people cars (which ultimately destroy the environment and create toxic waste) under the guise of "saving the environment"?

Do you act like you're a lion that really cares about gazelle lives being protected?

This is the conflict of selflessness we are constantly presented with.

There is a way to succeed while living well and not being a total douchebag, especially if you can ignore the fact that many won't like you, that you won't have extreme wealth, and that you may never become famous... It's a much better way to live if you are indeed a "spiritual" or somewhat ethical person.

The apex/alpha mentality is very toxic and destructive. Even though many people adore it and exalt this brand of selfish/egotistical bad behavior, the damage it does to society and others far exceeds it's benefits in material gains. Material things only have temporary value, your soul (or legacy if you're not spiritual) however can potentially infinite value to others. My recommendation is for people to keep those 2 aspects in balance... That way you won't have to ask for forgiveness or regret your life on your death bed.

walkhour• 4 years ago

People in this world often convince themselves they're religious, but under cover they operate in some of the most spineless and inconsiderate ways... It's one of the big contradictions in life.

You can generalize this to the whole population. Average people, ambitious, criminals, murderers, rapists they all think they are good people. And they aren't better than the religious people on which you focus.

astrange4• 4 years ago

Eh, this is not great. It's funny that it links to Last Psychiatrist, an early version of modern bro Substacks whose main thing was calling you a narcissist and constantly using rhetorical techniques like "I can tell you believe X, don't you? Huh? Huh? Well too bad it's actually Y!" and I'm like "but I don't believe X".

The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You
What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money, But It Does Have to Benefit People

I think these are conflicting…

What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do

This one's true though.

guerrilla5• 4 years ago

> What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do
This one's true though

No, it's also false. The only reason you do anything is to feel a certain way. If being or believing you are X makes you feel what you want, then mission accompolished. What you are on the inside is the only thing that can matter to you, whether it requires action to accomplish or not.

astrange4• 4 years ago

Imposing your own meanings on everything without letting the outside world participate can work for a while. But if there was a boulder falling on you then I don't think it'd really help; it's going to win and you're going to end up unhappy about it.

(That's why if you're going to read some online guy's made up philosophy blog, it should be meaningness.com.)

em-bee2• 4 years ago

there is no conflict. money is not the only benefit others can get from your work. if you run a soup kitchen it will certainly benefit people even if it doesn't make money.

for me the whole purpose of life is to make a positive contribution to society. that can take many forms

astrange4• 4 years ago

The conflict is between “the world is just trying to rip you off” and “you should work to benefit society”.

raldi• 4 years ago

Everyone who watched that video instantly became a little happier

Anyone remember what the video was back when it used to work?

nnoitra• 4 years ago

" Because the girl in the bookstore that you've been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She's going to be a surgeon in 10 years. What do you do? "

Oh yeah, every cute girl is going to come up with AGI or become a surgeon it's only the guys that are worthless and bringing nothing to the table. The girl in the bookstore loves handsome men and she barely cares about his GPA. This idea that women see right through you needs to die. It's mostly about looks.

aliswe• 4 years ago

He is strawmanning someone in the article, quoting them, but doesn't seem that far away from your position:

"Who is THIS guy to tell ME how to live? Oh, like he's so high and mighty! It's just some dumb writer on the Internet! I'm going to go dig up something on him that reassures me that he's stupid, and that everything he's saying is stupid! This guy is so pretentious, it makes me puke!"

human_person• 4 years ago

“moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch”

He’s also saying that good looks/being cute take effort.

Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

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