Ask HN: How can I (illegal immigrant/programmer) get legal status in US?

I have been a Javascript/Ruby on Rails programmer for 7 years. Living in the US for 15 years. I came here with my parents illegally, and went through high school, then college. My parents became citizens recently. However, they cannot sponsor me for a green card due to this: to pick up my green card, I would have to leave the country, but since I overstayed my visa I would not be allowed in for 10 years.

Not having legal status was not a barrier to working here for the last 7 years using only a tax id number, but that changed recently. This realization comes at a hard time for me. I am co-founding a company that is on the verge of getting funding, but we likely will not net the $250K that is precondition of the Startup Visa Act. I desperately want to stay in the country I grew up, but my capital is almost gone. Yet I can't go back either due to not having done the mandatory military service at my country of origin. It's a bizarre, Kafkaesque, nightmarish situation.

My lawyer has not been helpful, and has only recommended that I get married to an American citizen, which is not possible with my meager interpersonal resources.

I don't know why I'm posting here, but I'm pretty much hopeless so why the hell not. If anyone can offer some help, advice or a kind word it would mean a lot.