silencio

This is pretty infuriating to read when I spent so much fucking time with three different banks and my accountant over three weeks to prep and apply and I’m still unsure what the situation is in my case.

All on top of just keeping my restaurant afloat and keeping my employees safe, while I have a newborn, while the world is on fire and favorite customers come by crying about losing their jobs and fuck, what’s the rainy day fund for if not for commiserating six feet apart after giving them a free burger.

So yeah I guess I just sat on my fat ass for weeks and I shouldn’t be complaining.......?

diet plays a huge role in kidney disease management for sure.

potassium is a big deal since it is filtered out by the kidneys and if your kidney function is lowered, dangerous levels could build up and possibly lead to a heart attack.

on the flip side you generally have to start ramping up protein intake once on dialysis.

but agreed that this isn’t straightforward and if it was so easy, people wouldn’t be on dialysis and renal dietitians would be overjoyed. it’s infuriating to read the other comments suggesting it’s all some garbage american diet.

this is incredibly dangerous advice for someone already on dialysis. there’s no fluid restriction for ckd until you hit esrd, in which case 3 liters a day consistently will damage your heart.

that guide has such a bad reputation for a lot of queer people. the rating isn't a bad rough guide, but it is outright dangerous as a resource to people who are especially trans and gender nonconforming, and queer people traveling with their kids.

if you make it clear that that's your source that's fine, but.... it needs to be more clear.

there are some reputable training schools (like guide dogs for the blind and canine companions for independence), but there is no real accreditation. there's maybe organizations like assistance dogs international, that hold member schools to standards, but not much beyond that.

the ada explicitly doesn't allow any kind of request for documentation or certification either. basically you just have to take people at face value when you ask them if the animal is required because of a disability. and lots of people with ESAs are okay being very casual about that.

(and the reason i can figure out why people with ESAs are okay with bending the truth compared to a trained service animal, is because they tend to be the ones that are VERY upset in two situations that are legal: the one where i negotiate different accommodations because i'm very allergic to dog dander, and the one where they get upset that a misbehaving ESA is being asked to leave the premises. having been around dozens of trained service animals - i've never seen one misbehave the way ESAs can, and everyone is happy with my suggestions due to my allergy since i go above and beyond, rather than making things more difficult.)

it’s unclear to me what delivery customers are being charged, and for me the companies tried to leverage the “look how much business we’re sending you” into signing contracts. i refused and they took the listings down. so i didn’t really get a chance to find out where the customers are getting angry...

to be clear, i don’t think i’ve ever had a problem with payment - the couriers generally just paid whatever amount we rang up and asked for a receipt. i assume that gets passed to the customer.

would if i could look into the legality of things. i’m usually so swamped with life and i’m such small fry i get left alone fairly easily.

I own a restaurant and I’ve been on the receiving end of this.

There’s a 6 you’re missing where the customer comes in or calls in an order directly and realizes that the prices are wildly different (in my case it was about $2/item for fast food) and complains about it, including on yelp (ha). They think I’m cheating them when none of the services will let me update the menu or the price.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S115813600...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19040622

https://www.erudit.org/fr/revues/ss/2013-v59-n1-ss0746/10174...

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1365-2265....

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10508-014-0300-...

https://www.academia.edu/2236936/Trans_Mental_Health_Study_2...

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023%2FA%3A102408681436...

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psychological-medici...

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1743-6109....

https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equali...

Hmm maybe that will occupy you for a bit?

I also find it incredibly disingenuous that everyone asking for The Statistics are asking after a very awfully specific surgery and don't seem to care whatsoever about mutilation performed on intersex people, or of metoidioplasty, or reconstructive surgery, or many other procedures in the area that are performed for all kinds of reasons.

Geesh, I'm actually kind of mad about it... as someone that has given birth to a child and about due with another one, I would love for HN commenters to talk about pelvic pain, vulvodynia, 4th degree tears, incontinence, prolapse, and other incredibly common postpartum issues that might require surgical intervention to the same degree that gender affirming surgeries are being questioned.

i would prefer to work instead of providing full time caregiving to my 1.5 kids and my parents (and also myself, it’s been a very rough pregnancy).

anyone that thinks being the primary caregiver is easier than working out of home is delusional. the pressure would probably crush my wife, honestly.

but here we are, the cost of caregiving meeting our standards are high, and unless i also make $300k a year in the bay area, we’re just going to hit a break even point for all the different people that need to replace me.

this definitely feels like a quirk of the route. kettleman city is right in the middle of the la-sf drive along the 5. it's also basically like one of two stops that has more than just some fast food restaurants, and a good place for kids to run around.

breaking up the monotony of the ~400mi drive stopping at the halfway point because the range is likely just short of the destination (and i assume even shorter if there was traffic due to snow, plus range reduction in cold, plus the elevation through the tejon pass), plus all the other stops along the 5 being much smaller or more inconvenient...

i'd be much more curious about how to handle this kind of demand in usage. i drive a gas car and the gas station lines on this route can be atrocious too, but people are done in a matter of minutes so it makes no real dent on travel time.

The counterexample needs a huge caveat. Outside of one-off registry discounts and occasional manufacturer end-of year/model/design sales, the Target trade-in deal is one of the best deals you can get on baby/child gear. Parents in my local groups will hold on to seats from accidents and more, just to get or give away these 20% coupons.

This doesn't take into account seat maintenance and daily use, it feels like.

We have two car seats with 9 year expirations. The older seat is almost 3 years old. I doubt it's going to make it past 5-6. My first kid has had diaper blowouts, vomiting episodes, messy eating episodes, potty training accidents, and more - all into the same seat. It's looking pretty grungy.

I'm pretty paranoid about following manufacturer instructions for cleaning, but I know plenty of parents that bleach and steam clean and generally don't follow instructions for car seat care.

Gently used seats that were well taken care of - those should absolutely be reused, and you don't have to get into developing nations to find someone that can use it. But not all seats, honestly - especially not with how much we as a society are using car seats nowadays. My almost-3 year old is still rear facing in a convertible seat that should last her at least another year.

usually there's a seat belt locking mechanism or the car seat itself has lockoffs to lock the belt in place. the belt isn't freely retracting and extending.

latch/isofix has limitations which is why it's not the de facto install mechanism across the board. there's a 65lb weight limit on most anchors (including the car seat - which can be 30+lbs by itself), and most sedans don't have a set in the middle rear seating position but a lot of people will incorrectly install it that way.

it is okay for a car seat to have a little give. they're designed not to be installed so tight it damages your car in the process. rear facing car seats will sometimes flip into the seat back and 'cocoon' in more severe accidents, and that's by design.

I'm pretty sure household income is a federal thing coming from the Credit Card Act of 2009, not just CA community property laws. Every time I apply for a credit card it's been pretty clear they want household and nonwage income, not a solo salary.

Either way, it's baffling and I think this explains why my wife got such a piss poor credit limit on her Apple Card, something like 1/5 of another line of credit she has. I didn't even bother applying after seeing what she got.

The joke...? is on us though because we're both female.

the differentiation that needs to be made is for recovery vs bonding. it sounds like the company in question has that now. bereavement would be good to cover folx that otherwise wouldn’t have this (eg miscarriage). but going from 8 to 6 weeks for the last weeks of pregnancy and first weeks of postpartum is pretty brutal.

it took me 5-6 weeks after giving birth to be able to drive again for short distances. won’t even go into the other indignities and needs in that period.

fellow HG sufferer (survivor?) here. i was on multiple medications since week 5 trying to prevent hospitalization, and still on zofran six months in. careful use of medications can be literally lifesaving.

but... i would say due to easier access and state/local legalization, the perceived use of cannabis has skyrocketed in all my pregnancy groups. much much more than 3 years ago with my last pregnancy, i imagine worlds different from 7 years. most pregnant people seem to be using it casually, even more so than alcohol or tobacco. i do have to wonder what we’ll see from this trend, and i’m generally glad for any research to define safer amounts of consumption.

This is the CA donation limitation list: https://i.imgur.com/T6mWt3g.png

The valves are broken out separately from the heart for purposes of donation, and the story also discusses a case of valve harvesting causing a problem.

I'm struggling to figure out where to draw the line until I can update my advance healthcare directive... all these tissues, as you say, can still be valuable. I mostly just hate the lack of transparency in these relationships, and that these organizations seem to be hiding this tissue use behind the actual process of organ donations...

Short of saying no to heart valve/skin/bone donations, I find it unclear how this will play out in practice though. Like, OneLegacy is a nonprofit so if I select the nonprofit-only box, what happens? Or, how do you determine that a heart valve donation isn't life-saving?

This is really frustrating to me, even as my dad is on a transplant waiting list. The Donate Life page does give me an idea though: I can specify directed donations through an advance healthcare directive. I'm pretty tempted to leave my kidneys to my father and then find a way to explicitly donate my body to an organization that won't leave me with as many questions as these organ procurement nonprofits do.

For those of you in CA similarly disturbed by this story, a side link in this story talks about how to put limitations on your organ donor status. I did not know this was an option.

I don't know how helpful this will be - for example, there's an option to restrict donations to only non-profits, but OneLegacy (from the story) is one of the four nonprofits in CA that procure organs and runs the registry.

There's also limitations per organ/tissue option, and for research. Also for "life-saving and reconstructive purposes" only.

https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/dmv/detail/about/donatelife/do...

anyone with medical needs.

my dad's dialysis clinic found out about the power shutoff the same way we did. the news.

the plan is to go to the local hospitals/ERs for dialysis because the clinic isn't equipped to handle anything beyond a short outage right now. except, well, that's everyone's plan. during the start of cold and flu season. excellent to send a bunch of medically fragile people to the same place. and the hospital is not equipped to deal with regular repeat dialysis needs either...?

and this is only dialysis - can't even begin to express the fury on behalf of people who won't even be able to leave their homes - think power chairs and hospital beds and elevators that run out of power in the multi-day-outage scenario...

agreed. time to talk to a lawyer. also maybe the sperm bank, as it’s not trivial at most of them to discover who the donor is to that degree. certainly makes me raise an eyebrow that the timing was so perfect too.

i have a further thought - i am a legal owner of an “intimate partner” storage account where my partner’s sperm is stored for only my use as their spouse. even with the very very low FDA testing/paperwork bar for this type of account, there’s a paper trail that can be followed and a chain of custody for every single vial ever used. they’ll have even more documentation if the friend’s sperm was ever for sale.

current best practice is no longer that high unless you have very low quality early embryos and the eggs are from someone that is 38+ years old. even 3 can be pushing it.

i had genetically tested day 5 blastocysts with my last cycle and most fertility doctors will not dare transfer more than one of those at a time regardless of age. but that is the best quality to transfer nowadays.

nobody wants to optimize for multiples any more since the rate of issues for both the embryos and the gestational parent are pretty high.

the limit is typically measured in families, and within those families we’re usually not talking a dozen children each. a sperm bank that limits to 10 families per donor will probably end up in the ballpark of 10-20 children. (10 families is a very conservative limit - most banks go higher.) there can be a mad scramble to buy “sibling” vials from an otherwise retired donor if a family decides that they are done with extra vials.

ivf nowadays is also very much more strict about what you transfer. i did ivf a few months ago and we only transferred one PGS tested, day 5 embryo because a second one was not going to do anything good for me or the pregnancy odds.

2-3 decades ago both the tech and the feelings around donor identities and limits were very different. but nowadays we’re moving towards smaller limits and open identity of some sort, while fewer donor gametes are necessary for people to get pregnant. it’s curious.

I own a restaurant in the SF bay area, and nearly all of my employees prefer cash or paper checks even if I offer direct deposit. (Not paying under the table - I still withhold and issue W-2s...)

Most major banks in the US require something if not a minimum balance to waive the monthly fee. Something like $x threshold for certain direct deposits, or you're a student/young adult, or you use your debit card x times a month.

Smaller banks and credit unions can have problems too: locations or lack of participating ATMs or the same problems as the big banks. There are absolutely scenarios where it can be easier (time and money-wise) to just go to the check cashing store.

Some unbanked people are undocumented and afraid to open accounts that might be closed/seized. Some have piss poor credit. Some of those folx won't be able to open new accounts because their chexsystems report has some negative item on it. A single issue like your car breaking down once can snowball into a much bigger situation.

deny the transaction instead of overdrafting

Honestly, for paycheck to paycheck folx, this can still hurt. There won't be $200 in overdraft fees, but imagine, your PG&E bill is now past due because they couldn't charge your card. Now they want $20 for reconnection on top of the past due bill and 2x more in the form of a deposit due to bad credit. Welp, maybe the $200 in overdraft fees would have been easier to deal with.

Living paycheck to paycheck sucks for so many reasons, and so many of those reasons out of the individual's control.

my largely medically uneventful labor, induction, and unplanned c-section birth at a bay area hospital two years ago cost me a $500 copay, but the insurance paid amount was somewhere in the neighborhood of $38k.

i also exclusively pumped for a year, which cost a few thousand dollars. the pumps alone were $1200. then replacement parts, accessories, random necessities.. can't even count the time and the calorie investment involved (i was eating upwards of 1000 extra calories a day to prevent weight loss).

throw in gear and clothing and...going past $50k for the first 18 months doesn't seem so unrealistic?

It doesn't take much to break some of those though.

I have a custom plate that is two common words, on a California 60s vintage plate (black plate with yellow lettering) and most parking garages that check and print your plate on the ticket always butcher it. Instead of (replaced for privacy) "FOO BAR" it will say "8A2M31W" or some garbage.

this is a very popular south korean snack!

https://www.theramenrater.com/tag/ppushu-ppushu/

You don't have to clean daily disposables (like Hubble).

I mean, I'm sure some people are reusing daily disposables, but the idea is to just use and toss.

I switched to daily disposables a few years ago (out of ~15 years of contacts use) and I kick myself for not doing it sooner. I no longer have to spend like 4-5 minutes a day cleaning the lenses or throwing 2 week disposables 1 week into use due to protein buildup, and they no longer aggravate my allergies either.

I am raising a 2.5 year old in SF and my experience is very similar to yours. We're looking at moving out to the East Bay soon to be closer to my parents, but SF - outside of housing - is not a bad place to be raising a child.

So I have to tell my kid to ignore a syringe on the ground at a muni stop once in a while - like dangers don't also exist in suburban and rural areas - but poop barely phases us... it's like some of these folx have never woken up to their kid having taken a diaper off and smearing poop all over the crib

as a techie and as a restaurant owner, that's pretty much my assumption too. i'm not even sure if i would try to clarify it since i would misunderstand it.

and, speaking from the perspective of having tried to negotiate similar contracts with similar companies - the people you deal with aren't any more knowledgeable than you are. they're mostly there to pressure you to sign asap above all else, and are super unhelpful in renegotiating anything on these contracts. one of them put down the wrong entity name in a contract and couldn't even fix it.

i tend to walk away from them because i'm not suffering for more business with no profit, but most business owners don't feel like they have that luxury...