Does Fatherhood Make You Happy?

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1202940,00.html

by raju • 18 years ago

16 17 18 years ago

time.com

goodgoblin• 18 years ago

I am really looking forward to going sledding tomorrow morning.

sanj• 18 years ago

YES!

greendestiny• 18 years ago

Measures of happiness studys seem to be one of the key areas for nonsense research and journalism. I think the thing to take from this is that small increases in long-term average happiness aren't something we desire. Which isn't very surprising because the way to maximise that kind of happiness is to remove all struggle and conflict.

ekanes• 18 years ago

Very tired. Very happy.

undees• 18 years ago

Hell yeah!

mynameishere• 18 years ago

And the punch-line of what appeared to be the phoned-in disjointed ramblings of a hungover journalist trying to hit his deadline:

Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert.

david9272• 18 years ago

Fatherhood makes -me- happy. I don't care about how others feel about it.

Unfortunately, this is a horrible article on a fascinating subject: hedonistic psychology. If you haven't read Dan Gilbert's "Stumbling on Happiness", you're missing out. A better introduction to what he has to say can be found here: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/97

paulhart• 18 years ago

It was my daughter's first birthday today. Yes.

Electro• 18 years ago

This has to be in the top 10 dumbest things I've read online, written by a professional of course. I studied psychology, sociology and I carried on reading on them both well past finishing my college courses on them. This article is flawed and the reasons are three-fold:

Firstly, they discuss hedonistic pleasure. This is essentially the pleasure of getting fat, lazy and dying of hardened arteries. It isn't happiness, it's a base instinct well below our consciousness that is designed to enjoy sugars, sex and laziness programmed into us as a survival mechanism. Essentially the more you eat, have sex and do nothing, the better chance you -had- of surviving; now not so much.

Secondly, they poorly evaluate the pleasure of accomplishment. Your higher brain is designed to dump a load of endorphins into your system, because some minor pain/discomfort has been rewarded. Breaking down into tears at your kids graduation ceremony is artificial, it isn't programmed into people like feeling happy when they see their kid. You get so overly joyed when your children accomplish something because it is something that is a hell of a lot better for you than all the hedonistic pleasures combined, hence why they -do- wipe out all the minor feelings that led up to the accomplishment, essentially because it was worth it!

Thirdly, heroin blocks endorphin (the happy chemical, as well as 3 other chemicals') production. This is completely the opposite of kids, who can amplify the production. Heroin is a drug that literally disables your ability to be happy, I somehow don't see the similarity to kids here. He's comparing delayed gratification with instant gratification and immense delayed suffering/death...

I believe my three points are sufficient, however I must add that hedonistic psychology is an amazing subject. Although that being said, it is fascinating in a way that should educate you to do everything -BUT- the hedonistic pleasures.

david9272• 18 years ago

Read his book "Stumbling on Happiness". He addresses the first two of your concerns, and it's a fascinating book. (As for your third point, I think you missed what he was trying to say: that if you create a myopia around any one thing, it tends to exaggerate its effects.)

And you're right that there's more to life than happiness, such as fulfillment and love. Being a Dad is, like the Marines, the hardest job you'll ever love. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Mistone• 18 years ago

yes parenting is hard and quite different from self indulgent activities such as shopping and taking heroin - but does it make you less happy? duh

the smile and sound of little feet running to the door when you walk in the door is better than any thing you can buy or inject.

softwarejim• 18 years ago

could not have said it better myself

noonespecial• 18 years ago

Worthwhile en devours have hard parts that might not be as enjoyable as watching a movie or a trip to Cancun!? Holy cow, give that guy a Pulitzer!

Next week he's got an article planned about how people often don't find their jobs as much fun as DisneyLand!

mathogre• 18 years ago

Yes it does make me happy. With any luck, those who wouldn't find parenthood a source of happiness and joy won't breed.

dgabriel• 18 years ago

I don't think anyone should take this article as a personal affront to their life choices. It's an interesting tangent in the broader field of psychology, just as Freakonomics is interesting the context of the broader field of economics.

Of course the greater part of caring for young children is unpleasant; it is not news that changing diapers sucks, that trying to get a 4 year-old to put on his shoes when you're running 10 minutes late is infuriating, etc. But the shining moments of bliss are so profound, so stunning.

I hear running marathons can be largely unpleasant, as well, but the feeling of crossing the finish line is unparalleled.

mercurio• 18 years ago

I think this says something about the issue (it's the top link on Reddit right now): http://www.paralleldesign.com/mckinney/kevin-01.htm

ckuehne• 18 years ago

It's funny how every response in this thread confirms the three reasons mentioned in the article - in particular reason one: cognitive dissonance.

Does Fatherhood Make You Happy?

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