http://fsharp.org/use/linux/ feel free to give F# a try. Apple hardware ( or MSFT tax) not required.
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tonyabell
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many of the concerns the op had where with marketing of the f# ecosystem.
For example the tooling issues he mention are solved with a Visual Studio Extension
http://visualstudiogallery.msdn.microsoft.com/136b942e-9f2c-...
His concern with Roslyn seems like a non issues, a f# compiler is also opened sourced and was written in f# on day one. And there are many tools already taking advantage of it being open. So in this regard f# is farther ahead in c# in rubric.
As far a c# being ahead of f#, its funny, as most of the new features the are being added to c# seem to come from f#.
The op approach to hiring dev seems backward to me, you hire smart people and train then on your tools. There are so many good recourses for learning f#, having candidates without f# on their resume does not seem like a issues.
over it is great the he was able to bring f# into his environment. as more people adopt f# for there needs knowledge will spread and his concerns will fade.
F# and its Type Providers have a strong cross platform story. http://fsharp.org/use/linux/ All the dlls referenced in the OP work on non windows platforms.
The benefit of using a Type Provider over an CSV is it provides a strongly typed api to the data. Which gives you tooling (IntelliSense) and makes it hard to impossible to have type errors.
F# Its a functional first open sources language that works on Max/Windows.
Interops with R, Python, MATLAB, Mathematica, Java
Give it a try here. http://www.tryfsharp.org/Learn/data-science
Here are a bunch of resources http://fsharp.org/data-science/
Being serous, who uses Go and why? The reasons are similar to why one should use F#