tj0

Can attest to this experience as well.

When I was in high visibility roles in start-ups, I dreamt of a place where I could fall through the cracks and kind of breathe -- or at least what I thought would be breathing. I found that spot, and after a couple years feel like taking the offer was a monumental mistake in my career. Nothing is a challenge, my output is minimal yet when I actually do produce something, I get massive praise, and yearn for somewhere that I can throw myself into interesting work.

I think that next phase is coming, but I've definitely stagnated a bit and wish I'd spent more time using the required seat time (have to be visibly online 9+ hours a day) doing something fruitful instead of wasting time on HN and occasionally toying with various project ideas.

The soul crush is real in this kind of position, and as OP said, always being "half on" emphasizes the mental toll that all of my output has suffered both personally and professionally. Or I might just be burnt out.

I worked in Texas for a stint, and completely understand what you describe here. However, don't look to the PNW as a place it's any better.

Both Oregon and Washington are at-will states, and have the same laws with the same kind of work cultures -- you're a cog in a system, and if you start grinding or upsetting the status quo in some way, the candidate pool in this region is strong enough, they'll replace you. However, the expectation still remains that when you choose to exercise your same rights under at-will that you give two weeks notice. Can't say any employer is going to give an employee that same courtesy when letting them go. Not to mention if you're salaried, you might as well accept that your role is nothing more than indentured servitude branded as capitalism (to clarify, this may not be at all companies, but definitely is a strong cultural trait I've seen at the ones I've worked at).

All that being said, the PNW is much prettier than many areas of Texas, and while natives are hostile towards transplants, the quality of life is leaps and bounds better than that horrendous mass of land called the Lone Star State.

  Location: Vancouver, WA
  Remote: Yes (100% only)
  Willing to relocate: No
  Technologies: PHP, Python, Ruby, JS (Angular, Vue, React, jQuery, Vanilla), SQL, Linux, FreeBSD
  Résumé/CV: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/
  Email: tjost@protonmail.com

Ideally my next position will be in DevOps or SRE type role as my skill set aligns well with those responsibilities, and my latest role has afforded me the opportunity to learn many more facets of SRE. Full stack development is also a viable option, for the right opportunity.

This definitely resonates with me as well to an extent. However, I've identified the core issue being related to where I'm working, and not so much the career itself. I'm in my early 30s, been in full stack development for the entirety of my six year career.

As another poster said, startups are tricky. I've worked for two, and the first was a poster child hostile work environment, doing subpar work for angry clients with ridiculous expectations. The second was an incredibly positive experience though the pay was junk. Now I'm at an enterprise, and burned out like I was at the first startup, but have identified a different path forward (heading into SRE now) as I know the root cause of this mentality now.

At the end of the day, if you're not interested or passionate about what you're working on, and you don't have clear upward mobility within your org, it's time to move on. Otherwise, it feels like your career stagnates and you think the career itself is the problem, not the current employment situation.

  Location: Vancouver, WA
  Remote: Yes (100% only)
  Willing to relocate: No
  Technologies: PHP, Python, Ruby, JS (Angular, Vue, React, jQuery, Vanilla), SQL, Linux, FreeBSD
  Résumé/CV: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/
  Email: tjost@protonmail.com

Ideally my next position will be in DevOps or SRE type role as my skill set aligns well with those responsibilities, and my latest role has afforded me the opportunity to learn many more facets of SRE. Full stack development is also a viable option, for the right opportunity.

My teenage/early 20s self is triggered by this bug report. Luckily I evolved and switched to Debian haha

  Location: Vancouver, WA
  Remote: Yes (100% only)
  Willing to relocate: No
  Technologies: PHP, Python, Ruby, JS (Angular, Vue, React, jQuery, Vanilla), SQL, Linux, FreeBSD
  Résumé/CV: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/
  Email: tjost@protonmail.com

At this point I'm looking to move into a DevOps or SRE type role as my skill set aligns well with those kind of responsibilities, and my latest role has afforded me the opportunity to learn many more facets of SRE. Full stack development is also a viable option, for the right opportunity.

  Location: Vancouver, WA
  Remote: Yes (preferred)
  Willing to relocate: No
  Technologies: PHP, Python, Ruby, JS (Angular, Vue, React, jQuery, Vanilla), SQL, Linux, FreeBSD
  Résumé/CV: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/
  Email: tjost@protonmail.com

I'm also very passionate about security and am studying to pursue the OSCP later this year, so any roles in secure development or appsec will catch my eye over full stack roles, though I'm open to most opportunities.

  Location: Vancouver, WA
  Remote: Yes (preferred)
  Willing to relocate: No
  Technologies: PHP, Python, Ruby, JS (Angular, Vue, React, jQuery, Vanilla), SQL, Linux, FreeBSD
  Résumé/CV: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/
  Email: tjost@protonmail.com

I'm also very passionate about security and am studying to pursue the OSCP later this year, so any roles in secure development or appsec will catch my eye over full stack roles, though I'm open to most opportunities.

That's definitely something that seems to be reiterated often -- the power of networking is real. You'd think after hearing it since high school (some time ago, not gonna date myself lol) I'd actually spend more time nurturing the network I do have.

Luckily my current and last position didn't require any kind of mental gymnastics (my soft skills are great in terms of software engineers), but I'm still wondering what lies behind those gates kept locked by technical trivia and tricky buzzword algorithms that send CVs to the void before a human ever sees them.

My current situation is a bit different than previous (trying to transition tech stacks and job titles now) so the nerves are a bit different. The anxieties are just as real as before though, albeit the payoffs are higher with the new goals. Guess you could call em game day jitters.

Your interview process sounds improved over traditional corporate style interviews. My last employer had similar tactics (put the interviewee at ease, casual conversation), and it led to the best 18 months I've had in my career yet.

I'm five years into my career, and still experience this same kind of anxiety. Only recently did I revisit algorithms as I'm getting serious about my job search now, and am still super nervous.

Not to mention, having a family, I don't have a ton of time to study for the gauntlet decent tech companies put in place to vet candidates.

As for personal projects? See lack of time above. I'm lucky to get an hour a week to work on something I actually enjoy. Forget about building something unique/useful/worth public launch in any kind of reasonable time. Also, let's not forget the fun non-compete/anything you build while employed with X is owned by X clauses.

Hiring in general is broken. In tech it just seems amplified.

You might also look into exakat and phpstan. I can speak to the quality of exakat (my preferred static analyzer), where phpstan comes in as a close second.

This one also looks decent, and will be evaluating it for use in my day job.

I have a couple. Both were from before I stepped into web development, and was a graphic designer.

The first has to do with Fiverr -- most freelancers are aware of the waste of time this platform is now. It was new when I started freelancing.

I landed a client, and had done a few small things for her over the period of a couple months. She always paid, so there was some trust in the relationship.

She was spinning up a new business and needed a logo for it. Being new, needing to build my portfolio and referrals, I spent hours sketching concepts, getting feedback, and finally rendering the logo. I provided the vector files to her for review, and poof. Ghosted.

Sure, it was $5, but it was the ego hit. How could a small business owner turn around and screw another fledgling entrepreneur like that?

Lesson learned, no one ever receives final deliverables until payment is received.

The second was a bit more nefarious. I had done some custom digital frames for a local photographer. The contract was for a decent amount of money, and like before, I spent significant time on completing the work. After providing watermarked versions for review, the client snail mailed a check. Upon receipt, I assumed sure, it'll go through so I emailed the final deliverables. A few days later, I went to cash the check and it had been cancelled.

Luckily, that second one led to me leaning on a contract I'd put together -- I sent the client multiple invoices, and eventually sent him a final notice stating going forward, every day of late payment would accrue 15% interest on top of the final balance. 30 days of this late fee would nearly double the original balance.

I received a nastily worded letter, and full payment at the end of it, but again, learned another valuable lesson.

Sadly, both these experiences pushed me out of freelancing. Too much stress, there's never any down time, and frankly, clients can be a PITA.

Let's talk drag racing.

It's a basic activity, but one that takes years to master and offers the opportunity for consistent improvement.

First things first. You need a car. Preferably one that's light, doesn't leak, safe (panels won't be flying off at 100+ MPH), and bonus points if it's purpose built. Your daily driver can work, but keep in mind if it blows up (seen it happen a lot) you'll be using your Chevrolegs to get around while it gets fixed.

The NHRA has rules around safety. If your car will do a 1/4 mile in under 14 seconds, you need a helmet. The faster your 1/4 mile, the more requirements you'll have to meet. That being said, you'll want a Snell approved helmet regardless. Hitting a concrete wall at 80 MPH is no fun any time, so protect your noggin.

Now for the fun part. You're equipped with your safety gear, your car is prepped, oiled, and cleaned out -- all those McDonald's wrappers and kid's toys won't help you go faster so clean your sh-t.

You find someone in a similar bracket. For sake of ego, don't go up against a Tesla in your Prius, mkay. Find an opponent that's comparable in power. Racing against someone with more skill is OK, so long the cars are putting out similar power numbers.

Pull up to the tree, and prepare to do your burn out if you're in a 2wd. If you drive a Subaru or other AWD, I recommend skipping this step as unless your car is putting out 450+ HP, you're not gonna break those tires loose, but you may break an axle, differential, or gear box. YMMV. However, if you are driving a 2WD, light em up! Plenty of videos to teach you how to let your inner teenager let loose -- do it to it. You want those tires nice and hot, it makes em sticky.

Pull up to the tree. You'll see several lights. Pull forward slowly enough to light up the first one. Wait for you opponent to do the same, then creep forward enough to light the second. You are now staged.

Breathe.

Watch those lights. Feel your adrenaline spiking, and your heart fluttering like a child's on Christmas day. The tree moves fast, and every single one is different. The general rule of thumb is, you go on the last yellow. If you wait for green, you've lost the race. Reaction times make or break races so you want to hit it just right.

When you launch, keep your right foot on the floor. Your left foot should be in sync, like an elegant dance. Dump the clutch while flooring the throttle and listen for your shift point. Unless your car is tuned for no-lift shifting or you have a built transmission, I DO NOT recommend no lift shifting, you'll break sh-t. Bang those gears. 1st. 2nd. 3rd. 4th.

Don't watch the number/speed sign -- it's irrelevant right now. Don't watch your opponent. Your race is your race, theirs is theirs. Watch that finish line, get across and let out the throttle. Take the track exit, loop back to the time booth, get your time slip and study your numbers.

Reaction times win races. 60ft times really win races. 1/4 mile times show who the winner is. Speed tells you how you much more you can improve.

That's how you drag race. Entering into this culture is exhilarating, expensive, and way too much fun. You'll meet all walks of life, and make some pretty damn good friends along the way. You may even make some money.

I was going to write about building cars, but that'd take a novel. This was an easier topic, and a one that anyone can enjoy. Watching the races can be fun, but being in them... there's nothing like it.

This resonates so much. In a very similar boat myself. A near four year old and near two year old, and a partner that is not as outdoorsy as myself makes for incredibly distracting days (toddler politics are crazy; those who know, know). As soon as I end my work day, I get both babies outside because they need that intensive activity more than I need to sit on the couch and be consumed by depression and anxiety.

Doesn't help that despite a 20% salary cut, my hours of operation have only increased as my employer furloughed a large chunk of our workforce. My ol lady works on the weekends, so even after working 50 semi-productive hours a week (7AM to 6PM most days, sometimes later) I don't get a break as she works twelves Friday through Sunday, often from early afternoon to early morning.

The mental toll has been substantial, which I'm sure has led to some lasting effects on those I share a roof with.

After talking with my mother about this, it seems this is a multigenerational thing -- people that lived through Civil Rights, Woman's Sufferage, JFK, Vietnam, Korea, The Cold War, etc are just as heavily impacted. No one is functioning well right now.

At the end of the day, all we can do is keep trying the best we can, and hopefully we don't release total a-holes to the world when all this is said and done. Hopefully we don't become total a-holes ourselves.

They offered me nearly the same kind of raise over the position I was in before it.

The first company I worked for paid me $36k/yr. Given I don't have a degree, and it was the first offer I received (was my break-into-the-industry offer), I took it. After nearly two years, I was still below $40k/yr. Couldn't afford to rent a two bedroom apartment by myself, let alone support a then pregnant girlfriend.

That's when the next company offered right below market value, but when I started with them, it seemed like a fair offer given I had to learn new frameworks, containerization, etc. After a year, and the value I'd added to the company, I assumed I'd receive a raise.

Low and behold, it didn't happen, so like the previous position, I found somewhere offering a median salary for my region.

Still not where I should be with all the responsibilities and skills I have now, but at least the financial stress isn't nearly as bad as it used to be. Plus, I'm secure in my position, so that's helpful.

"Making ends meet was sometimes a challenge, which made me very salary-sensitive and averse to the risk of income disruption."

This. I think a large chunk of society forgets that after you get past 25 and actually have a life and responsibilities, that a meager $100k in a particular region is barely enough to cover base expenses, childcare, car/home loans, etc.

Out of curiosity, how long were you the sole earner before getting to a better state of financial security?

This was exactly why I left my previous position.

Place was great to work, brilliant team, laid back culture. But refusing to give me an annual raise, on top of paying me below market value (and below my peers) for my experience and skill set was precisely what triggered my departure a month later for a nearly 90% raise. Sacrificed other things, but at the end of the day, "thank you's", "good jobs", and a kegerator doesn't feed my family.

Money isn't everything, but competitively compensating engineers is still a big factor for retention imo.

While the content itself is just another round of "I deleted X for reasons I, J, K," I certainly resonate with you mentioning commenting less.

As with the barrier to entry to any tech-oriented platform (any dev remember their first time posting on StackOverflow?), there is an underlying fear of rejection, or even worse, providing no value whatsoever. I've lurked on HN for years, but only recently have actually started engaging.

Not sure if anyone else feels those kind of emotions, but the article did mention that many people are living in fear -- regardless of the external stimuli is that causes that fear. It's not any different than engaging with communities like SO, HN, forums, etc.

Also like you, I doubt this adds any value beyond giving a couple minutes to type this response to a comment buried halfway down the discussion page on the post. It definitely entertained, and more so distracted me, for the duration of this experience.

For that, I thank you.

Congratulations! And thank you for posting this. These kind of stories are inspiring and feed motivation.

  Location: Vancouver, WA
  Remote: Yes (preferred)
  Willing to relocate: No
  Technologies: PHP, Python, Ruby, JS (Angular, Vue, React, jQuery, Vanilla), SQL, Linux, FreeBSD
  Résumé/CV: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/
  Email: tjost@protonmail.com

I'm also very passionate about security and am studying to pursue the OSCP later this year, so any roles in secure development or appsec will catch my eye over full stack roles, though I'm open to most opportunities.

  Location: Vancouver, WA
  Remote: Yes (preferred)
  Willing to relocate: No
  Technologies: PHP, Python, Ruby, JS (Angular, Vue, React, jQuery, Vanilla), SQL, Linux, FreeBSD
  Résumé/CV: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/
  Email: tjost@protonmail.com

I'm also very passionate about security and am studying to pursue the OSCP later this year, so any roles in secure development or appsec will catch my eye over full stack roles, though I'm open to most opportunities.

You know, it's hard to say. I've never been in the position where I have both investors, and several thousand employees to answer to; let alone having to dictate who's going to get let go. As such, I'm by no means an authority on this nor can I fathom what the C-Suite must be going through. Obviously, there is an emotional tax associated with these kind of decisions.

Based on various articles I've read here on HN, it would have been nice to have more transparency into the financials of the company versus all messaging completely devastating morale, and leaving an air of uncertainty. We know we're hemorrhaging cash right now; who isn't, though?

That being said, I would've furloughed everyone that isn't absolutely vital to maintaining bare minimum operations. Made one painfully large cut -- kinda like peeling a bandaid quickly instead of ripping out fifty individual hairs multiple times. I think this alone would've offered a much better sense of security for those that remained, as well as allowing them to stay at their normal salaries.

Next, I would proceed with identifying the clients that are most likely be unable to continue operations themselves, and proactively suspend services. After that, renegotiate quicker payments, and potentially rate increases on services with the remaining active clients.

That would enable the company to turn down anything that's deemed as nice-to-have in our service offerings (no room for luxuries right now), and evaluate all infrastructure costs. We would then have full insight into knowing how much we could scale down our IT infrastructure. We could then proceed to contact vendors, and renegotiate service agreements, further maximizing savings, and decreasing our burn rate.

I would've done everything possible to keep the remaining employees secure, and confident. By performing more drastic cuts initially, scaling back operations, and retaining core teams, everyone could have kept their pay at normal levels, and I think the burn rate would've been significantly less.

Like I said, though, I've never been in the captain's seat and right now may not be a great time to try to say what I'd do. Each day brings less inspiring news and being kept in the dark hasn't helped anyone be more productive.

https://www.thomasjost.com

Started this up about six months ago. I write about general topics, mostly software engineering and infosec. Kind of serves as a live journal as well (which probably doesn't help job prospects much).

Low traffic, seem to only get traffic from the monthly hiring threads here on HN and occasionally twitter. It's fun for me, though. Helps document ideas and helps a couple junior dev friends I mentor grasp concepts that otherwise take a while to wrap one's mind around. Might be of interest to other software devs looking into pivoting to appsec or security engineering as I'm documenting my journey towards the OSCP later this year.

Everyone took a 20% pay cut, lots of people have been furloughed so workload has also increased. Would've been nice to have had a voice in the company's decision; kinda caught between a rock and a hard place at this point.

  Location: Vancouver, WA
  Remote: Yes (preferred)
  Willing to relocate: No
  Technologies: PHP, Python, Ruby, JS (Angular, Vue, React, jQuery, Vanilla), SQL, Linux, FreeBSD
  Résumé/CV: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/
  Email: tjost@protonmail.com

The majority of my experience has been in the startup space, and I'd prefer to move back into that type of environment over working for another medium/large corporation.

I'm also very passionate about security and am studying to pursue the OSCP later this year, so any roles in secure development or appsec will catch my eye over full stack roles, though I'm open to most opportunities.

Hi there!

I'm a software engineer looking for appsec and/or pentesting opportunities. I wear many hats in my current role including maintaining a legacy full stack Linux/PHP/nginx/MSSQL codebase, aiding in incident response, and forcing a 20-year legacy development lifecycle into the 21st century.

I'm ready new opportunities. My CV contains much more information (please go view it), but the highlights are below:

---

  Location: Vancouver, Washington, USA
  Remote: Yes (100% preferable)
  Willing to relocate: Depends, but don't count on it.
  Technologies: Bash, Python, PHP, SQL, JavaScript, jQuery, Angular, Laravel, nginx, Windows, Linux, Mac, Azure, Gitlab,   phpstan, exakat, Nessus, nmap, BurpSuite, Docker, MySQL, Postgres, postfix, haproxy
  Resume: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/
  Email: tjost@protonmail.com

Location: Vancouver, WA

Remote: Yes - preferred

Willing to relocate: No

Technologies:

  - PHP (7+ years)
  - HTML
  - CSS
  - JS (Vue, Angular, jQuery)
  - SQL (MySQL, TSQL, Postgres)
  - Python
  - Ruby on Rails
  - Linux/UNIX (FreeBSD)
  - Azure DevOps, GCP
  - Docker
  - Security (will elaborate upon request)

Résumé/CV: https://www.thomasjost.com/cv/

Email: on resume