throwaway-001

All of this might sound obvious and even a little cynical. But it's given me a strange sense of comfort and helped me find "myself".

I don't think is not about being cynical. We are what we experience and for me at least is the only existence that matter. I want to make my day to day on this earth relevant and enjoyable and as for now entrepreneurship checks a lot of boxes, I also revisit this belief very often.

Also curious to konw if you've found the answer to your question since the time of this post!

No, and I wasn't expecting/hoping to (probably only 1% of my was). What I was able to do today was to do more writing exercises using some of the content that was posted which lead me to:

What do I regret not doing? - Learn how to play music - Why am I not doing it? Because I feel I would take time from something more important?

Today I booked a music tutor. I guess I consider this as a win.

yeah absolutely. Thank you

oof, had no clue about it. Probably mistake not researching it. By my experience so far I haven't seen any trace of such philosophy in the App I'm using, I guess is very well packaged for a mainstream consumption.

No I haven't, I wouldn't even know where to start.

It was never been a problem, everybody in the company knew I was running a business on the side, and I was still being recognized for my day job accomplishments, even got a promotion. I guess I made myself very efficient in getting things done, actually building things never provided any burden.

I do not mind work a lot, usually I don't experience burnout if I'm working on something that I'm profoundly interested into it. My sense of exhaustion comes from not knowing where to focus my energy. I guess HN could be a good place where to have this conversation since feel like the best place to find people with a similar experience/feeling to mine.

Don't get me wrong, I do had a couple of ideas and validate with rigor, some of them really had a little traction. But when I think, do I want to dedicate my soul to this problem for the next 5-10 years I think is not really worth it or I'm not impacting people life in any major way.

We do have a family, but again that cannot be all. I do want a deeper sense of purpose in my life knowing that I did something for somebody else, doing through a business would allow me to do it in a sustainable and focused way (not volunteering). Historically I always struggled not giving all myself towards an objective and that is how I operate the best of myself.

Thanks for sharing.

Basically, I’ve never thought about doing something because the idea itself is what’s carrying me.

On the opposite spectrum, I don't think I can do something unless the idea itself is what’s carrying me.

You are getting closer. I think what making it even hard is, money is not an issue right now. My search and hesitation has been my mental projection of seeing myself doing that one thing in a 5 year span in a complete loss just because of my love for it. Maybe I'm looking more for this more profound target where to focus my attention and energy in a more romantic way that just purely money making. Or am I just delusional in seeking this?

That's what I'm terrified of. Was my previous success purely just based on luck and I don't have what it takes to have business born from my creativity?

unless you're really in love with the problem

You touched a neuralgic point of my experience that for some reason I omitted in my original post. One of my biggest source of frustration and sense of inadequacy is not feeling (or not seeing myself) that strongly passionate about anything/anyone specific. My last iteration of this concept was to fall in love with a specific group of people and explore the problem they encounter day to day.

thanks for sharing, I'm not sure how I feel about that experience. That first thing that came in mind is, I don't want to end up to be so burnout that I need to drastically compensate in a similar. I believe I'm trying to prevent something like that to happen in the future.