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protoman3000

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I’m the original build.

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Pretty cool! You could also boot into an ephemeral minimal initrd that displays a selection menu instead of doing it in iPXE. That would grab the new kernel and initrd from the network and kexecs it without reboot.

From own experience I can say:

Forget about trying to change this from the perspective of thoughts. Cognitively understanding that you should "just" stop worrying about what other people think about your work might not bring you far.

Instead, realize that anxiety is a bodily phenomenon and as such needs to be addressed with the body. That means: Breathing techniques, exercise etc.

Reading this article makes me wonder. Whenever I am too stressed, I become very self-conscious and I interpret everyday things and normal nuisances under the umbrella of "See, this is how big of a failure you are, you pathetic loser". Is almost as if there's another voice - not my voice - in my head who tells me this abusive stuff, sitting on the side and being judgemental.

Does this also count as psychosis?

we shouldn’t define our work and identity by our employer or specific job role. By building your identity as an expert in the field

I get your point that diversifying the points of external identity validation makes you less dependent and this is a better position.

My question is about another strategy, to stop identifying/attaching etc. at all with what you do. And that is not illuminated to me.

This seems like a really good advice. Thanks.

Also the addition of "how hard it can be to even figure out what you want to do". This is imo a huge thing.

The decision paralysis and fear of doing and being what YOU authentically want - not somebody else, not some rules, not some abstract expectation what your future partner want you to be like, not what your mother/friends/teachers/mentors wants you to be like, not some "rational person" as described below, but you and you only - brings you pain and avoidant behaviors.

The avoidant behaviors come with a compounding cost on top and you can spend so much time not actually doing what you want.

I'm reading here and else comments suggesting things like "don't get overly attached" or "don't define yourself by the role you fill" or "don't base your identity on your job"

But how do you "not" do these things?

It seems like I am doing these things automatically and I don't even know how the alternative world where I'm not doing these things looks like.

That is always the problem behind selections, gatekeeping, rules, control etc. in human contexts:

They definitely have merit and aim initially for a good cause, but their institution over time always attracts sick people, bullies, who like to abuse others and seek situations where they will not be punished for it.

Imagine being that person, who’s daily job and enjoyment is to reject other people, drag them through this disrespectful and demeaning process, witness the disappointment and sadness in the others eyes when they get to hear “No.” and when blame themselves for it.

I found that Sonoma has broken...

All too familiar. I have two Macs. I upgraded one of them to Sonoma and ever since then it has been nothing but headache and disappointment. Starting from the upgrade having failed (meaning I had to completely wipe the disk and install Sonoma from scratch, luckily I still had data), to problems with Handoff, the firewall seems to not work, Excel very slow etc etc.

I don't recommend using Sonoma.

Note 2: do not fix with cognition what can be fixed with chemistry. Before anything else, your brain is a biological machine.

No no no. Stop with the senseless proliferation of pills. If pills were the solution we would not see the huge need for talk therapy - which works only if there is a genuine therapeutic relationship. If you think this further, if you’re in a situation where your therapist is the only non-toxic person in your environment and the only person you can truly connect to, then it’s not your “brain chemistry” but the toxic environment you need to get out of. Don’t take pills to endure shit. Don’t drink coffee to replace sleep.

No matter how much I contemplate about it, there was still no “killer” app that affords me to buy a VR set. I’ve tried them, it’s nice. But it really has no place in my life. And how could this change? Even with better displays etc. the whole idea of disconnecting my main sense - the eyes - from my surroundings is so strange to me that it seems irreconcilable.

Can anybody relate?

JIT WireGuard 2 years ago

The problem you quickly run into to build this design is that Linux kernel WireGuard doesn’t have a feature for installing peers on demand.

I don't seem to understand. You can add peers at runtime, e.g.

https://serverfault.com/questions/1101002/wireguard-client-a...

Can somebody clarify?

EDIT: If I understand correctly, that step is already too late. They want to authenticate a peer before adding it to the interface in order to prevent stale entries on the interface.

They thus put a eBPF filter in front of the interface and do the cryptokey-routing based association to an authorized counterpart by themselves. If it checks out, then they add the peer to the interface and remove it after a timeout.

Losing my son 3 years ago

Hi,

thanks for your comment. Your story touched me immediately in my heart.

I can recommend you this book on your quest to get more insights and ideas for healing:

"Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship" from Laurence Heller, PhD

Losing my son 3 years ago

I’m sorry for your situation.

Having gone myself as a 5 year old sibling through something like this I wish to stress this:

Don’t let your other children become chronically mentally ill, send them to the psychotherapist and counselor and do that for years. You can’t imagine the amount of suffering they will have untreated. This is not something that you can just outlive and your children are dependent on you supporting them by giving them support from somebody who actually can support them. The scar of this trauma will run many many years, make them extremely vulnerable and can render them with a full blown disability.

You can prevent this. Don’t let other people who have no idea shame you for seeking help for this.

Yes it could. The boss seems to show strong tendencies of narcissism. Narcissists gather so called “flying monkeys” around them which fuel their sense of superiority and they bind them through various techniques to them (until they are also discarded). In this case the narcissist the PowerPoint-mockup people are these flying monkeys, feeding the narcissist all the grandiose ideas and it gives the narcissist a high for going towards that idea - similar how somebody just announcing they will do a hard task, e.g. stop smoking will make somebody feel good immediately before even reaching that goal.

Then, the people to whom the actual task of implementing it was left can’t deliver the grandiose perfectionist idea, and the narcissistic boss can and actually wants to fiercely abuse their power over them in order to feed on the high of superiority and control over them. It’s the perfect position for this kind of person, they can feel high all the time (eventually the tolerance will kick in and the boss must leave though but this can take some time).

Organization-wise it’s a bad boss really. It’s the job of the creatives to come up with great ideas, then the boss should moderate that working together with the feedback from the implementers. Instead the boss is due to personal weakness too suggestible against the creatives and puts the damage of his own making on to the team with bullying.