author here. Exactly, “it sounds like” etc are training wheels. Use them while you figure out how to do the technique. And yes, when you’re learning, it can sound stilted. As you master it, you don’t need to use those exact phrases any more.
author here. Agree 100% - the idea of the examples is to get you to try out the technique. When we teach active listening, we start with “it sounds like” or “I’m hearing that” and the instruction to check that you got it right. As you get the hang of it, you don’t have to use these guard rails any more.
But really the difficult part for most people is the listening itself. Actually getting your head around what is going on for someone else.
I think "stop fretting over it" will work for some. For others--who find certain interactions difficult--I'm suggesting that there are other things that might make a newly minted senior engineer anxious. And that focusing on what people need from you might help.
Thank you for the feedback. If imposter syndrome means the fear that you'll be seen as unskilled by tech peers, how does that experience differ to what I mentioned in the article?
Doesn't it have the dynamic of needing to convince the other person that you know your stuff? When that might not be what the other person is thinking at all.