Ask HN: I am depressed, No job 9 years ago
What does your perfect world look like? What is the one thing that you can do to take the first step in accomplishing that? Once you've accomplished that, take the next step. These steps don't need to be big, they can be as small necessary - so long as you're moving forward.
Maybe you need to get yourself a job in a supermarket stacking shelves whilst you build up your portfolio. And maybe building up your portfolio means you need to do those jobs for free.
I've been depressed before and found solace in speaking to somebody about it. This is your first step, the next step will be equally challenging to make but equally as rewarding.
Have faith in yourself.