As long as you don't have control on which files are stored on the machine, they'll need to sue the IPFS protocol inventors, good luck with that.
I the meanwhile, let's just have fun and leave these dark thought behind ^_^
I am running Lambda functions on AWS that on some rules needed to run containers in specific geographical locations Amazon didn't have data centers, like in Israel.
Defining docker-machine (as you mentioned) requires some work.
Also it's not easily reproducible if I need to reinstall the machine and many other minor offsets.
To be honest, I heard about Portainer after I had my DockerServer running, but it has a lot of UI functionality I will never use and it's way heavier.
DockerServer is the lightest wrapper there is for running docker containers from remote over simple HTTP(S) and also I got A+ score on LGTM :)
Our pricing is very simple - https://qa.doorzz.com/pricing.html - but if you're a big enterprise and willing to use our service in high volume, please contact me at cto@doorzz.com
Furthermore, we can even write all the UI tests for you at an incredible paste and very low cost.