eimai134

Great point. We have feminism in part to thank for that. Corporations are thrilled to now get two workers for the price of one.

This is very true. I knew a guy who only ate fast food, and he could not (or would not) eat at better restaurants. He simply did not like anything but the fast food hamburgers.

We have plenty of pets already who don't have homes. The last thing we need to do is clone more.

Is there anything you are really passionate about? Politics, religion, a TV show, genre of literature, charity, etc.?

I've found that it's easier to form faster relationships by being in a select "in-group" of people who are united around a cause. The downside to that is that if you change your views or become less passionate, the people may tend to isolate from you. Same thing for when you have friends from work. However, you can try to turn these more superficial friendships into more meaningful ones by talking about people's kids, dating life, childhood, etc. Once you talk about things that are more intimate, people will view you as a more intimate friend than you actually are. And remember you have to "give to get" - so talk about yourself and share details that push the boundary of your intimacy level (not in a creepy way). That will also make people feel that you have a closer relationship than you do and they will view you as a closer friend.

And read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" for tips on talking to people more when you are with them.

This is pretty crazy. I'll continue to be "rude" then.

I've also learned to lower the armrest as soon as I sit down. If an overweight person sits next to you, it will be impossible to lower it and they will be taking up part of your seat.

Western Europe is about the only place that's accepting refugees. Where do you think the top places that are accepting refugees are?

I don't see what that has to do with the Halloween email. Were the swastikas part of costumes?

My husband and I's rates have skyrocketed as well - and they were already close to $300/month per person.

I don't care what Zuckerberg's must-read books are.

That's very true. People are very averse to admitting that meat and dairy contribute negatively to their health, despite the many studies that show the contrary.

I can attest to this in the U.S. as well. I hang out with a pagan community that has a high percentage of people on food and cash assistance. They get so much money that they purchase holiday gifts with EBT (food stamps) and live almost solely on expensive branded snack food. Every person I've known on EBT has been gaming the system in some way - everything from getting roommates to sign off that rent is higher so they get more money and doing work under the table for cash and not reporting it, to wanting to get married but deciding not to because it would eliminate their benefits and turning down higher paying jobs because they know they need to keep low-wage, part-time jobs to keep benefits. Withdraw cash from a cash card to buy earrings, concert tickets and other luxuries - no problem! Until a couple years ago I didn't even know people were given debit cards with money on them from the government.

I had always thought that poor people bought generic products, had old TVs, couldn't afford cable, had old flip phones, etc. But it's the exact opposite. The poor people I know on welfare/assistance have much nicer things than the middle class people I know.

I believe that the system needs to be revised so only certain products can be purchased with government funds. It would help to keep the people using these services healthier as well.

I live in a small town and most of my poor friends voted for Obama. Now they are all furious because they're getting fined for not having health insurance. They don't make enough (or don't manage their money well enough) to pay for Obamacare every month. It doesn't provide great plans either - one person I know pays $130/month for a plan with a deductible of several thousand.

That poor British grandfather. 350 lashes for being caught with wine - I'd think that would kill a person.

My parents have a pretty Biblical marriage in a number of ways. It's beautiful and has made me wish I believed in that doctrine just in order to have something like that. They believe, much like the article/manual states, that the man is the head of the household. However, he always consults the woman and in caring for her, does not make decisions that are harmful to her or cause her distress. Obviously it's not an either-or scenario, but it seems to work much better than other marriages I've seen where both people are so focused on what they want for themselves.

I'm glad to hear of more and more young people feeling this way. As a female who is a little bit older than you, I get worried about some of the negative effects of the younger generations being too gender-neutral. As an example, my mother and I both have a condition where we tend to get dizzy ("fainting spells"). That's one very small example of where we need to be feminine and allow men to help us out.

I would call this more "accidentally realist" than "accidentally sexist." I know for a fact that even though I am not a great coder (not a huge part of my job currently) I could get hired over more qualified men because I'm female. I've talked to women who know they got hired in tech because they are women, not because of the skills/experience they have. I know women working current jobs where it's obvious they are not qualified for the job they have (of course, that happens with men too). I've had people at colleges tell me that if only I wanted to do Computer Science I'd be guaranteed a scholarship because I'm female, but there are not the same scholarships for me. All of that, in my opinion, is very sexist against men.

I don't know if this is justified, but if I'd gotten death threats I'd be more worried about snipers than someone coming at me at close range. Your safety in numbers advice would be very good in that case too. The issue I have with Tasers is that they're as expensive as a gun and you only get one shot. I was thinking of non-lethal options because I don't know if the person can carry a gun if they aren't a citizen or if there are strict laws where he lives. If the person can afford it, I'd suggest looking into a lightweight bullet-proof vest as well.

Oh, I see it now. Thanks for the explanation. The way it is showing up appears like it's a comment to the poster of the Ask HN question!

This is sad to read. People of every race--black, white, whatever--need to make an effort to get to know their neighbors. Simply saying hello to people when you're walking, introducing yourself, pointing out where you live, telling them about your pets, children, where you work or go to school, where you moved from, etc., can make a big difference in a community. I used to live in a very racially diverse apartment complex (more than 50% non-white). I was friendly with everyone and felt like the people I got to know were almost friends. Smiling, waving or saying hello to people forms a small bond that could help these overzealous people realize that if they reach out, they will see that they are over-reacting. By being friendly and getting to know people, we can learn that most people are not threats to us, and we can all be united in watching against the people who really are.

How is this question a religious flamewar?

There are mace guns available online for about $40 which have a pretty long range. That might be a good option for protection if you can't or don't want to get a gun. You'll have to check the laws in your town/state, but I think you can concealed carry them anywhere.

I know a lot of people always think poorly about the police and FBI. I've only had positive run-ins with the police, perhaps because I'm female. I've heard of people the FBI really wanted to get but didn't have info on, and they were not nice to them or warning them of potential danger like they did with you, so it sounds like it's worth taking to be legit. I'm curious what your neighbors and landlord have to do with this? Have they heard something about threats against you? You have already received death threats online - take care of your personal safety in person. I like what another person said about not posting for a while, perhaps going to stay in a different city. Turn in any threats to the FBI and see if you have anything that could be leads for them.

Really? I have sent a number of letters to elected officials - I've only ever gotten what appears to a form letter back. Glad you've had a different experience.

I agree. I'm libertarian with a lower case "l" and not too big on democracy. I don't want my town voting on the best way to do heart surgery for me. Why do I want the masses voting on other issues that are equally important. The U.S. is so divided right now, it seems like we could stop it all by returning to more local, or at least, state governments being in charge of most things. No need to enforce rules on a gigantic number of people who are all so different.

So many jobs have been shipped overseas it's not surprising. I know a lot of one-income households who are barely getting by - the other spouse wants to work but they're holding off for pay that is more than daycare. Many people doing from-home businesses too, many under the table.

I had the prospect ahead of me of always being poor. I decided to forego some immediate pleasures like having cable TV, expensive Internet, eating out, seeing lots of movies, new clothes/shoes, name-brand products, etc. so I could save up, go to school, and get my life in order.

What you mention may well be their line of thinking. Nothing wrong with people thinking whatever they want. I simply did not want the kind of future that such a lifestyle would bring me (i.e., remaining poor).

I've known three women in the past year who receive benefits and do work under the table for cash. One told me a story about how bad it was when she started making more money and lost the benefits and how it "wasn't worth it." Another has two kids, is unmarried to get more benefits, and even though she job training said that she is never going to get a job that pays a lot because she wants to remain on food stamps. The other has an unreported side business that brings in about $1500 cash that she doesn't report.

Might be worth it for you to have a small place so there is literally "no room" for your partner's family...

The modern factory farms sound more barbaric, and people refuse to look at them. Many turn their heads away whenever you want to show them something about them - something very ignoble about people who don't want to know what is happening due to the choices they are making.

Very good point, and you see America not paying attention to that today.

I don't know - the claim could be made the modern "bread and circuses" (TV, Internet, etc.) are causing the downfall of America.