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ctocoder

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This is a problem to fix, which society has not itself figured out yet.

Hope, being good enough, your time is your time and desire mitigation is a solution.

Productize and scale happiness

You are focused on what your life could of been / should of been and are devaluing the true gift you have.

Get past that should of it is judgement that leads to no outcomes

Could of is an assumption that did not happen.

Your gift? Let me put it in a way that all who are in this community will read will understand. You are an engineer.

There are close to 9 billion people on the planet. There are roughly 80 million engineers. You don’t get to this level by chance but because you can, your part of the .8% of the people of the world who can build it. You don’t lose your abilities they just get rusty.

My advise to you is stop thinking about what should of or could of or if my dad was here as cold as this sounds. Instead keep pushing. Be what you are. Build something and then sell it-you are an Engineer you can do anything.

When the 1st Facebook API was released, I helped build the largest application called SuperWall. The way to increase virality and activity on the wall, was to allow a copy paste virus to perpetuate throughout the network. The DAU with this virus that "Zuckerberg is going to delete your account if you do not log in" kept DAU and virial growth at peak levels.

Facebook could do this too and get the same results. More DAU more money.

Intel based? That adds a 35% markup. AMD or ARM I would think would be platforms one would invest in if making something new.

Remember you have a super-power. If you can make anxiety your friend you will be able to get into a hyper-focus state.

How to get into that state: Trying to calm yourself is actually the wrong thing to do. Meditation works right before the episode or if you're a master meditation expert. It does work for some but I found that my ADD and Anxiety make it really hard to meditate.

Like many of the comments here, do an activity that excites you; jumping jacks, powerlifting, running, taking a shower etc. Anxiety has a similar pattern in the brain as when you exercise. So you're tricking your brain to divert the feelings to activity instead of panic.

Then when the tightness in your chest subsides and you spent yourself, CODE!!!!!

You'll realize the focus is different. Your thoughts are still there but now you can put them aside and use that anxiety to power focus.

My routine is to pace, pumping myself up, acting like Muhammad Ali then for hours I can work.

It's hard, this is very hand-wavey, your struggle will work; you just need to find your inner strength buried beneath worry and uncertainty, trick your brain and unleash your super power.

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