I wish people would stop bringing up the Pareto principle. "Some things are consistently bigger than other things." Can we talk about why things are bigger than other things instead of saying it's because of some law of nature?
I see what you're saying, but it sounds like you haven't really internalized the principle.. because you're viewing it as a tautology rather than the useful heuristic it is. You can and should still have the probing discussions. But having 80/20 as a rule of thumb will actually help you know where to probe. So you might want to give it another look.
I am naturally a quite chaotic person, I have trouble helping other people create order when I'm already having trouble keeping an eye on all the streams that exist in the team. Any tips would be appreciated.
There's so much to say about this topic.. it's hard to give many pointed tips. But my advice would be to 1) read far and wide about product management (blog posts like this one, books, research, etc), and especially focus on first principles. 2) Experiment with your team! and 3) *Do not* think that doing one of those weekend certification courses or seminars or whatever is going to help much. Points 1 and 2 will give you far far more insight.