What is your red flag(s) for entering overdrive?
Could you notice it/them and stop yourself?
Would that solve the issue?
HN user
Coach, mentor, business owner, father and more
anders (at) andersthue.dk
What is your red flag(s) for entering overdrive?
Could you notice it/them and stop yourself?
Would that solve the issue?
Loved this quote from the book
“There is a contradiction here: If the prize for winning finite play is life, then the players are not properly alive. They are competing for life. Life, then, is not play, but the outcome of play. Finite players play to live; they do not live their playing. Life is therefore deserved, bestowed, possessed, won. It is not lived.” that was posted in this blog post recently https://www.youngmoney.co/p/infinite-games
For me the difference in what game you choose to play is a result of your mindset - are you seeing people you play with in life, or do you se objects/ obstacles that you have to win over.
That difference makes a huge difference in your behaviour, a person is treated with respect and love - an object is pushed, beaten, removed.
So, i ask myself, how would I like to treated, like a person or an object?
It brings me nothing but good experiences already, and I for sure will smile at the end of my days here on earth knowing I at least for some time had a positive impact on others.
Being arrogant for 47~ish years, did nothing good for me.
Now I work hard on being friendly, curious and kind towards others.
“The anatomy of peace”, by the Arbinger institute.
It has helped me navigate conflicts better and I have become more succesful through better collaborations and stronger relationships.
For 12 years my windows watermarking software has been making >500$ a month (lately just barely)
Happy new year!
My goal for the next year is to do no mindless SoMe consumption, and instead create and market what i build, or relax or take a nap or whatever is the right thing to do, which is never instafacetok for 2 hours.
Working on a tree planting, earth saving, bio link tool :), have a few signups but need to rewrite the edit flow and a thousand other things on my todo.
Frontpage https://maelt.co
Profile page https://maelt.co/anda
I needed it myself, and the other pieces of sw did not work proper, then spent 3 years of spending a few hours every evening promoting it, posting it to forums, etc. (And a little time prorgramming, but promoting it took waaay more time)
It was more work 5 years ago, doing 5-6-7k$
These days it is a few minutes a few times a week, doing support.
I made a watermarking software 10 years ago, still makes 1000$ every month, with almost zero work.
:)
Growth mindset is there is always enough.
Scarcity is there is never enough.
Both is a mind-set.
So to change, you need to change your mindset.
The best way to do that, has for me been through the Arbinger mindset change tools, start with their books, i can recommend “The outward mindset” and take it from there.
That our responses and our negative relational feelings are based on out own choice - Nobody makes me feel angry, victimized, as a failure - it is always my choice to feel those feelings.
It is not always i am able to choose not to feel it, but i always know i am feeling it because of my own choosing.
The anatomy of peace helped me focus on others instead of myself, I can highly recommend it!
The Anatomy of Peace, it has the power to change your mindset, it has helped me and others getting out of being stuck, reconnecting me with a more true purpose and helped me be a better programmer, father and friend.
Of course it is hard work, but the underlying principle it teaches is so powerful, that as long as I keep practicing that, i seem to improve in all the important areas of my life.
This might sound like a strange advice, but i have had you problem and found a way of being in my advice that has helped me in practicing to have high standard even in my own work.
It all started with reading the book called “The anatomy of peace”, and then reading the two other books from the same author, this helped me a lot and I then went all-in and took their coaching education, and now i am much less stuck and helping others get unstuck at the same time :)
The anatomy of peace, helped stop being stuck and make a turnaround on my mindset and my life.
This book https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Peace-Resolving-Heart-Conflic... changed how i look at changing myself and personal development in general, it might help you see things differently.
If it does, I can recommend seeking out an Arbinger trained coach to help you dive deeper into the material.
(Ps. I am super biased being such a coach myself, i took the training to get more self esteem, it worked, and now i want to pass it on to others)
You are stuck, find an arbinger coach, they can help you get unstuck.
Worked for me :)
I read the book “The anatomy of peace” 16 months ago, and it has impacted my life in more ways than I ever would have thought possible.
It helped me understand how I created all the trouble I have experienced in my life, why I never became “succesful” and why I had felt so stuck most of my life.
I now understand how my mindset, how I see the person in front of me, either as a person or as an object, has a greater impact on my results than anything else.
Even on my abillity to be unstuck, to change my mind, to moce fast and break things.
10/10 would recommend it to anyone.
I would recommend these two books that will give you the people and communication skills that is paramount to suceed as a manager.
It is those books I have learned most from and helped me the most.
Leadership and Self Deception And Crucial Comversations
“The Anatomy of Peace” because it has helped me to get unstuck and start living life and feel free.
For two years I have been stuck in growing my business, now I am free to grow it as much as I want.
My being stuck in moving forward with those areas of my life that are really important.
For whom do you want to be an entrepreneur, what is your mindset?
If it is for yourself, then it will be hard.
If it is for the possible customer, then it might be a little bit easier.
Read “Leadership an Self Deception” for help in changing your mindset.
I got stuck.
The more important a project is to me, the more stuck I get.
When I am stuck I do not do sales, I do not talk to mentors, I feel sorry for myself, i procrastinate.
If you have tried to build a business and failed then read “The Anatomy of Peace” or “Leadership and Self Deception” same writer, same message.
If you have build a business and want to do it even better, then “Principles” by Ray Dalio
Both are about mindset and worldview - something I am learning now is much more important in tools and marketing hacks and knowing what to do in every situation.
The Anatomy of Peace
Leadership and Self Deception
Crucial Conversations
The Anatomy of Peace, from the arbinger institute.
It tells a story about Lou who is fighting to keep his business alive and keeping his son out of jail, as Lou learns how to be more humane and create less conflict, so does the reader.
It is the book that has had the biggest impact on me and my business.
The second most impactful book is “Crucial Conversations”
That self betrayal is the root of all my suffering.
Read the “The Anatomy of Peace” for full explanation.
The most important book I have read currently is “The Anatomy of Peace” by the arbinger institute. This book teaches me how to stay out of interpersonal conflicts and become a person pthers want to be together with.
“Crucial Conversations” is another really important book that teaches how to safely deal with very hard conversations.
For my own personal development/relationship with women I must say that “No more mister nice guy” and “the way of the superior man” has both helped me.
Lastly the letting go e-book by Leo Babauta from zenhabits also is really good.