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StudlyCaps

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I feel your pain. I'm quite a bit older than you are. Programming is my second career and I'm competing with people who have been doing it their whole lives.

I must say, it sounds like you're being VERY hard on yourself. Having a CS degree degree from a top 10 school and enough money in the bank to freelance for a few years puts you in a really good position.

Stop constantly comparing yourself to others. Set some realistic goals for yourself. Those goals should be based on what will make you happy, not what will make you feel like you measure up to others.

When was the last time you took a vacation? You may be a bit burned out. This will definitely cause you to procrastinate. Take some time off to refresh and recharge your battery.

Also, do you suffer from depression or anxiety? If so you may want to consider doing some therapy. Do you have a social life? Do you do fun things on a regular basis? If not, start making time to improve the quality of your life. I suspect that most of your problems are not career problems but side effects of general unhappiness. When you find happiness it will solve the other problems.

One last piece of advice. Going "indie" is not for everyone. I have a feeling it's not for you. You may find that you will flourish in a staff job that you truly love.

Best of luck friend!

Does your team have a project manager? If so, he or she is the person to go to when you think a project is in jeopardy.

How did it come to this? Were the original time estimates way off? Was there significant scope creep? Were there blockers that were beyond your control (ie. tech problems with dev environments, specs were delivered late, etc.)

More than likely, the release date can be pushed.

[dead] 12 years ago

That was childish and contributes nothing to the conversation.

[dead] 12 years ago

Yes, and flagging is a form of censorship is it not?

[dead] 12 years ago

Why is it inappropriate, because you disagree with it?

[dead] 12 years ago

Yeah I agree. I think it's like hipster Kewl to be a "feminist technologist." Like even if you're not an especially good programmer you can become your own brand and give talks and organize events based on being a "feminist woman in tech." Guys are falling all over themselves to get drunk on this Kool Aide, too. Like "how can we help? Yell at us some more!"

I don't have a Facebook account so I can't post a question. Can someone post this question for me? Ask Zuck why he's invested so much money into making their own frankenstein PHP when they could have just used Java? I mean I like PHP and all. It's great for blogs or personal websites, but why would you invest all of that blood, sweat and beers into build something at that scale on PHP?

@dang that's unfortunate. This was the one place that I thought a group of intelligent and objective people might have a dialog about this. I guess it's easier to believe the official version of events.

Please forgive the lack of formatting. I had to cut this down to 2000 characters. Feel free to ask me questions of you want to know more details about my experience. Again, this is not a joke. I have been living with this for 13 years. I need to get this off my chest and I want some answers.

@refurb I don't know what the plane did after it flew beyond my field of vision; I couldn't see it. What I know is that I was on 23rd and 8th when I saw the plane. I walked to 23rd and 9th where I got on the M23. I heard the crash almost immediately after boarding the bus.