Started a stupid company. Failed. 13 years ago
I can't even imagine the pain you're going through. I know it's tough to think rationally now, but if theres one thing that'd help is that you need to write down and memorize everything that went wrong so you never do it again once you get your second chance (everyone deserves a good second chance).
Hang in there man, you'll be surprised how many good people are out there that are willing to help. Never stop asking, never give in, always remember what you're fighting for. You'll be in my thoughts