I Hired My Mom

by bradt • 13 years ago

74 53 13 years ago

Good for you. Hope it works out again!

What I got out of article, is that when you are one person company and do not want to do something boring, become a two* person company.

* Author calls this outsourcing, but I simply can't see that. If we buy that, we might as well buy that all other companies consist of CEO and a bunch of people he 'outsources' lower level things to.

wvenable• 13 years ago

I tried outsourcing my financials to my wife (who works in accounting) and it did not work out. Relationship wise it wasn't good but also found out after switching back that was happier and more productive doing it myself.

codegeek• 13 years ago

what were the issues specifically with this if you don't mind sharing. My wife (who is an accountant) has been pestering me to hire as a contractor to do my one man business bookkeeping and for some reason, I keep avoiding that discussion. May be your story can give me some more insight.

jnardiello4• 13 years ago

Well, currently both my mom and dad are working with/for my company. My mom manages the full book-keeping of the company). My father, because of the general economical situation in Italy, was left jobless. So, as soon a position opened at my company i simply proposed him to join. He is the warehouse manager now.

The thing in working with parents, in case they eventually are accountant, is that they can access all the figures of the company (for the good and for the bad). Another aspect to consider is dealing with weird situations. They will do bullshits and you need to tell them, as you would do with any other employee. Dealing with this is not easy and requires a lot of communicative skills and entrepreneurial experience.

notastartup2• 13 years ago

"Dad, let's have a chat in my office"

"What's up son?"

"Nothing dad just need you to come in here real quick"

"..."

"It's about your career, I'm letting you go dad"

"You were an accident."

"Nooooooooooo!"

jnardiello4• 13 years ago

More or less, daily situations.

6d0debc071• 13 years ago

"Wow, I didn't think either of us could say anything to make this easier. Thanks dad."

hablahaha• 13 years ago

You sound like an awesome progeny, I'm sure they are very proud of you.

jnardiello4• 13 years ago

Ahahah, well thanks but i can assure you that the way that lead to this wasn't easy at all. They weren't always pleased by the fact that i was running my own company (and not looking for a stable well-payed job - maybe in a state office). Only with economical difficulties (we have always been a medium-level family with my dad's ex job) they definitely started to appreciate what i've built. And while i'm happy that this is helping the whole family, i wouldn't consider myself as an "achieved" person quite yet.

kvinnako• 13 years ago

How do you deal with payscale?? Do you decide just some market rate or do you decide how much worth is their work? Doesn't it complicate when you have a business partner?

jnardiello4• 13 years ago

Payscale is balanced with current market rates. For us all it was always an easy topic anyway. I guess that the fact that we are italians helped a lot as we value very little individual wealth and give a lot of importance to family savings. Currently (mom joined about 1 year ago, my dad little less than 6 months) they are happy with what they get.

themodelplumber• 13 years ago

My wife does the bookkeeping for my business; she has the perfect personality for it, being financially minded and very much a details person. She was second-in-command to a CFO back when we were both working for other companies, and the CFO told me once that she basically ran the entire company's finances for him. I definitely wouldn't call this outsourcing so much as a huge lucky break. Every time I see her updating our accounts software (she prefers the simplicity of AceMoney to Quicken), I feel relieved.

Lately I've thought a lot about this: If I didn't have a tax person, a bookkeeper, a good freelance web developer friend, and a business consultant, I estimate that I would have gone out of business (a third time) about five years ago. The first and second times I failed in my businesses I had none of those things. Now I'm finding even more people to share the load whenever I find myself "in the grip of my inferior function" (Meyers-Briggs talk). The alternative seems to be depression, anxiety, and everything that comes with that.

notastartup2• 13 years ago

this was very touching to read and it's encouraged me to do the same. I don't have a wife or a fiance but I would never entrust them with this kind of sensitive material because there's a real risk of relationships souring. With family it's easier to deal with and it's easier to communicate instead of trying to bury things in order to not ruin a marriage.

"Hey Ma, need you to stop hiding grocery purchases under company's funds, if you wanna keep your job"

"But I'm your mother"

"Okay, alright, just don't do it again"

vs.

"Hey babe, need you to stop buying expensive items under company's funds"

"fine, since you don't love me you can marry someone else"

"nooooooooo!"

whatusername• 13 years ago

Here's a pro-tip. When you're finding a wife or a fiancé -- find one with integrity. I'm not sure I'd want to stay married to someone who could come out with that.

morgante• 13 years ago

"Hey babe, need you to stop buying expensive items under company's funds" "fine, since you don't love me you can marry someone else"

Phew! Sounds like you dodged a bullet there (marrying someone lacking basic moral integrity).

sergiotapia2• 13 years ago

I disagree: You caught a lucky break here, but you are the exception, not the standard.

Family/friends and money don't mix well. They will always ruin the relationship. I've seen it countless times.

wikwocket• 13 years ago

Absolutely yes. I am happy for the OP, but I must also disagree with his central point, i.e. "it's at least worth a try."

If things go south at all, you risk poisoning a family relationship. Family is precious; you generally only get one family. And you just cannot undo some types of damage done to/by family members.

I know a lot of people could hire their parents or siblings and get along great, but I also know a lot of people that don't talk to whole sides of their family after a nasty blowup. One should be very cautious when mixing money and blood, and ready to walk away from one or the other in a pinch.

3rd3• 13 years ago

It could also do the exact opposite, especially when contact is rare.

nimblegorilla• 13 years ago

I agree with everything except the part about parents.

The problem arises when someone is irresponsible or has bad communication.

If you trust your parents and they are good with money then I think it is a great idea if they are willing to help with accounting. Good parents are always happy when their kids are successful.

Friends and other family members can cause problems even if the relationship seems good.

oldgregg• 13 years ago

Always? Why do so many people insist in absolute work/life separation? It certainly hasn't been true throughout history. If you have to draw these clear lines it really just indicates an unhealthy understanding of the purpose of work, family, or both.

shocks• 13 years ago

Huh? He said money and family/friends, not work and family/friends.

squigs25• 13 years ago

I think you know your family and friends better than anyone else. He's not the exception, he just knew enough to trust his mom.

atmosx• 13 years ago

I think most mothers are okay to handle son's financial wealth, as long as they are not out of skills.

But I agree with you, this post is just a unique case.

handzhiev• 13 years ago

Millions of family businesses think otherwise.

delluminatus• 13 years ago

The difference is, in these cases the business hierarchy usually follows the family hierarchy. In other words, parents hire kids. This is an established paradigm. Sometimes siblings hire each other as well, and that can be OK more often than not.

But, that's not to say kids should hire parents. In that case, the business dynamic and family dynamic are very different. From a historical/statistical perspective this is an extremely unorthodox arrangement, for a good reason imho.

dquail• 13 years ago

There's various degrees of mixing family/money or in other words "doing business with family. Quitting your jobs, and taking out a loan to open a Tim Hortons (showing my Canadianism here) franchise together is a lot different than a retired mother doing some accounting for her son to make a bit of extra money. The latter seems fairly low risk.

mathattack• 13 years ago

Hiring family can be tough. If you would hire your Mom, would you also fire her?

rafe33• 13 years ago

I hope it works out. My personal rule to live by: Never hire someone you can't fire.

leothekim• 13 years ago

+1 to this. What if you need to fire your parent or spouse? Sure you might feel like you can do it, but for a whole lot of people the power dynamics and differentiating a personal relationship and professional one is tricky. I mean, I wouldn't write a blog post recommending this.

Couple quick scenarios come to mind:

"Why are you firing me?" "I need someone more qualified. You've done good work, It's not personal." "But I'm your mother. I changed your diapers and taught you right from wrong." ...

"Mom, my business failed. I have no money." "Well, you should have thought of that when you fired me." ...

rajanikanthr• 13 years ago

"Well, you should have thought of that when you fired me."

perfect statement.. better to place mom or spouse in a company where you can give recommendation and have contacts not in our own shop, unless you are running coffeshop (OK I guess :)

subway• 13 years ago

I made the horrible mistake of partnering with my father on a business venture last year, and it has significantly strained the relationship. That was with a very clear line drawn between personal and business finances. I couldn't imagine dealing with the mess of mixing business and personal finances in that situation. shudder

powertry• 13 years ago

Really interesting, though it may really vary for most based on what skill sets their immediate relations have.

chrisrhoden• 13 years ago

"I can’t think of a single reason you should be doing this yourself."

followed by

"But how do you outsource something as sensitive as financials?"

Sounds like a single reason.

schenecstasy• 13 years ago

I hired your mother too, Trebek.

bradt2• 13 years ago

This is my favourite comment so far.

code_duck• 13 years ago

It was very tempting to make that comment. Thanks to schenectasy for stepping up for all of us.

markdown• 13 years ago

Wrong website. Too many tabs open?

paskakapu2• 13 years ago

You basically practice nepotism. Most of your staff and peers and people around you consider that as a form of corruption. Congratulations.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nepotism

booruguru• 13 years ago

Why does nepotism get such a bad rap? I mean, nobody cares about nepotism in a family owned convenience store or restaurant or gas station. So when does it become a problem--in a particular industry? Or is there a certain number of employees (or a certain amount of revenue) that needs to be reached before it constitutes corruption?

bradt2• 13 years ago

Thanks for the comments! Bonus stories for you wonderful HN'ers:

My dad started out as an auto mechanic and painter. He decided to setup his own shop with his first cousin and it was a disaster. They butted heads constantly. My dad sold his shares to his partner and moved on to other things. They tried it, it didn't work out, and so they moved on. Throughout my childhood our family was very close with my dad's first cousin and his family. They relationship is still strong today.

My mother and her brother had a dispute about money over fifteen years ago. They still do not speak today.

Family and friends can be tricky when it involves money, there is no question.

sergiotapia2• 13 years ago

See this: "My mother and her brother had a dispute about money over fifteen years ago. They still do not speak today." - This is exactly what is the norm when mixing business and family and it's absolutely heart breaking. I can't imagine how you must feel. :(

mbesto• 13 years ago

My dad, who's run a small business successfully for 25+ years, recently retired and I've agreed to have him support me on the operations side of my business. My mom is by far the best usability study ever. She's in her 60s and doesn't get technology that well but can use pinterest. If my website is usable for her, it'll be usable for anyone.

vikas5678• 13 years ago

I think I missed the part where this is a tax deductible expense for him? Otherwise I think I'd keep my family away from my startup. Its stressful enough without having to add family into the mix.

joncooper• 13 years ago

See:

http://rapgenius.com/51490/The-notorious-big-ten-crack-comma...

elwell• 13 years ago

Six months later: "I Fired My Mom (and now our relationship is weird)"

terrellm• 13 years ago

We (my wife and I) hired my mom to run my e-commerce stores after she retired. She is paid an above-average hourly rate, can set her hours, and can work from home. Knowing that we would be giving someone access to a merchant account that has a significant amount of money run through it each month, we had to have someone we could trust to process refunds and occasionally charge additional amounts when orders were upgraded.

She spends 1-3 hours a day managing the stores while my dad works on his model trains. It's enough to keep her busy, have a sense of accomplishment similar to her old job, provide a little extra income - all while not cramping their retirement.

I was a little nervous at first - more about her feeling pressure to make us happy than us being satisfied with her work. However, her role is clearly defined (answer emails, return phone calls, and submitted/track orders to our supplier, etc). This reduces the chance of misunderstandings or let-downs than would be more likely to occur with a less defined role like strategy or marketing.

crimsonalucard• 13 years ago

Many business decisions require a certain level of ruthless efficiency to execute. These decisions are fundamentally incompatible the nurturing relationships established in family units or friendships.

izolate• 13 years ago

Congrats. I agree completely.

My mom is a fantastic freelance bookkeeper. The day I go at it alone, she's going to be my first "hire".

I Hired My Mom

Related Stories