The bomb that changed my life (2011)

http://swombat.com/2011/12/19/bomb-changed-my-life/

by jacquesm • 13 years ago

226 74 13 years ago

camperman• 13 years ago

This is beautifully written and very moving Daniel. I hope the memory of the trauma is truly in the past and that the event really has changed you for the better.

swombat4• 13 years ago

Thanks. I believe so, on both counts. At this point I am even happier with my life than when I wrote this article (though recent progress cannot really be blamed on that bomb anymore!)

willsmith• 13 years ago

I kind of feel bad, but I love this kind of reading. It gives you some solemn introspection- this could happen to me, kind of thoughts

willismichael• 13 years ago

I don't think there's any reason to feel bad about that.

pyre2• 13 years ago

It probably feels weird saying something like, "I crave reading first-hand accounts of near-death experiences." It indirectly implies that you derive pleasure from people being in these situations.

I agree that if someone went to the trouble of writing and sharing their experiences, being touched/affected by it is a complement to the person.

ultimoo• 13 years ago

This is a great piece.

Conveys the harsh cold ground reality of a bomb blast. I lost a good friend in the German Bakery bomb blasts that struck Pune, India in 2010 and this story made me well up. We are all just meat bags held up with a few bones and an explosion is capable of ending all the life we have spent years building around ourselves and our loved ones. Terrorists truly suck.

rubikscube3• 13 years ago

"We all just meat bags." No. Can we stop with the nerd reductionist attitude so prevalent on sites like this? The majority of people don't consider human life to be simply "just meat bags."

Sorry for the loss of your friend.

DanielStraight• 13 years ago

He/she was pointing out the fragility of our bodies, not making any sort of value judgment.

mikeash7• 13 years ago

It doesn't matter what the majority of people think. That is ultimately what we are, and the tragedy of being killed by a bomb reinforces it.

benihana• 13 years ago

Snowden's Secret in Catch-22.

http://www.deathdyinggriefandmourning.com/Death-Dying-Grief-...

doug4hn• 13 years ago

When I was a kid, I experienced the explosion at the 1996 Atlanta Olympic Games. Definitely changed my life. Did anyone else here go thru that?

Angostura• 13 years ago

Thanks for posting this, I didn't see it when it was first published.

jacquesm• 13 years ago

You're welcome. After yesterdays events this kept coming back up in my thoughts and I figured I should re-post it.

simonbarker87• 13 years ago

Great writing Daniel and such a shame it comes off the back of a harrowing experience. I think it must have changed you, probably in ways much less obvious than just prompting you to (a year later) start your own business.

I've met a couple of people who did "look to the right", so to speak, and your decision not to look should be right up there with the best decisions you've ever made.

swombat4• 13 years ago

> I've met a couple of people who did "look to the right", so to speak, and your decision not to look should be right up there with the best decisions you've ever made.

It's one of those strange things when the impulse decision to limit experience, rather than expand it, seems to have been the right one. Sometimes it's better to be conservative. Some part of my brain was seemingly functioning well enough to protect me from myself there. I did not know anything about PTSD at the time, and thankfully I still have no first-hand experience of it, but from what I've read about it that would have been a perfect occasion to inflict that on myself for no good reason... So yes, I'm pretty happy about that decision too...!

shocks• 13 years ago

I have read this a couple of times. Very powerful.

If you have yet to read this, I thoroughly recommend you do.

neebz3• 13 years ago

It's a great read. Though you can only relate to it when bombs are like a once in a lifetime thing.

Living in Peshawar, where bomb blasts are a regular occurrence, you slowly get immune to it. To such an extent that even the media doesn't care (we just had a blast only 2 miles away from my home killing 16 today).

You get to a stage that you just start living in fear. Worrying about your family whenever they go out.

monsterix2• 13 years ago

Today morning I read about this bomb blast killing wedding guests and families in Afghanistan [1]. Unfortunately, it was carried out by one of us. I ignored the news, in some sort of natural filter, to avoid registering negatives of the world. There are just so many of them.

Now after read Daniel's experience, and your comment about Peshawar Neebz, I feel what a terrible place and time I have been born in. Why does all this have to happen? Who is terrorist for whom? And why do innocents have to die or face these experiences at all? For which perhaps only the political leaders are responsible.

[1] http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-125820/US-bomb-kills...

runjake• 13 years ago

Not to minimize that tragic bombing you read about this morning, but it took place back in 2002. Your wording gave me the impression it happened recently.

jareds• 13 years ago

Why is this a terrible time compared to others? While the third world is still not a good life compared to our past it could be a lot worse. While famines are still a problem they are not nearly as prevalent as in the past. Although people living in the third world don’t get good medical care it’s still better than what most people had available 1500 years ago. All we’ve done is exchange one set of problems for another, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that when looking at history this is a more terrible time than any other.

ableal2• 13 years ago

> I feel what a terrible place and time I have been born in.

I wouldn't advise the XIII century. Or most of the XX. Or the 5th BC. Or ...

As a matter of fact, you probably just have "better" news of the world, not objectively worse conditions. There was a post about that recently ...

hello_newman3• 13 years ago

Unfortunately, there have always been these kind of things happening in the world. The only thing that has changed is now we have the ability to share all of this in real time and the constant stream of news we are bombarded with.

It also doesn't help that a story like the one you posted above, is more "click-worthy" than a story about how someone from the same Boston Bomb blast helped saved people, made tourniquets out of their shorts and shirt, and put their own safety in jeopardy just to help others. I would like to read a story like that; a story that celebrates humans helping other humans in times of tragedy.

Unless it is some chain "status" on Facebook put on by some poster just scraping for likes, only to promote some shitty whatever on their facebook account, feel good stories just aren't as widely circulated as stories that scare people. It sucks.

dmix• 13 years ago

Violence in Pakistan has now become like poverty in Africa.

It doesn't make for a surprising headline. It's almost an expectation of how we expect Pakistan to be.

...And of course /persons from 1st world countries/white people/ aren't dieing. So it won't make the headlines of news sites.

neebz3• 13 years ago

yea I am not complaining. Regular stuff doesn't sell on media.

I am just pointing out at first a bomb blast is likely an eye opener: life is short lets do something before I die. But when it happens every week, it goes to the stage where you start thinking you just don't have enough time to do anything.

And the worst (or best?) thing is that we are not living in a war-zone. We actually go to our jobs everyday, attend weddings, go eat in restaurants. I am product lead of a startup here.

It's like living a dual-life.

bdz• 13 years ago

That James Holden track can also change your life.

hawkharris• 13 years ago

Very moving story.

emilioolivares• 13 years ago

Powerful stuff, great read for all in light of yesterday's events.

jolenzy• 13 years ago

14 years ago, I have survived a war. In the second day of NATO attack to Serbia, I have seen a huge explosion only 5-6 km away. That was like in the movies. That was the scariest explosion I've ever seen. First only a big cupola, and then a terrifying sound. Later I realized that this event changed my life. In better way. You learn to appreciate life.

ismarc• 13 years ago

I have a tattoo on each of my forearms, one says "love life" and the other says "embrace death". I got them while I was in the military, but independent of being in the military. I had a friend (unrelated brother would be another term) who was shot and killed by his father in law. He knew it was coming, he may have been able to avoid dying himself, but didn't. I had spoken to him about life and death multiple times, and he always lived such that if he were to die that moment, he wouldn't have any regrets, but he clung to and enjoyed life. I'm not going to go into the full story of the details surrounding his death (I am willing to over email if anyone's really wants to know), but I got the tattoos shortly afterwards as a constant reminder. It's about being the person you want to be, doing the right thing even if it isn't the easy thing, living life so that if you died right now you could be proud of how you lived your life.

I have met very few people who live their lives the same way (many claim to, or even do when it's the easy path, but stray when it's not) and there are many people who have similar experiences but go on to just live in fear, or eventually put it to the back of their minds. Everyone, death is inevitable (even if we somehow achieve immortality, there's the heat death of the universe). No matter how long or short your life is, you decide where it goes and you are the judge of the quality of how you lived that life.

ghc2• 13 years ago

I needed this. I have spent the past 24 hours shell-shocked.

By pure chance I was not at my usual spectator spot at the marathon yesterday for the first time in 4 years: in front of the storefront where the first bomb went off.

It's all thanks to pure happenstance: for the first time in years I am no longer a remote worker; the company that acquired my startup last fall has offices in the suburbs and I am not yet past the 6 month moratorium on taking vacation days.

The unlikely series of events that led to me not being present until about 30 minutes after the blasts is something I am still coming to terms with. I almost don't have time to...my building is still under armed lockdown because I live a mere block from the scene. I dread having to walk that route someday soon.

Still, I hate the company that acquired my startup, even if the acquisition potentially saved me grave injury. I think it's past time I quit, instead of just complaining about it and hoping for dividends.

hello_newman3• 13 years ago

Carpe Diem, my friend. Money is great, but if you had an experience like that, one that you felt was an eye opener, then do whatever you need to do. Like Jeff Bezo's Regret Minimization Framework.

I had a similar experience where I was almost T-Boned by a Semi Truck that ran a red light when I was 18 after I just graduated from High School (I am 21 now). It made me realize what I want to do, and is perhaps one of the best things that could have happened to me in its own morbid way.

elliottcarlson2• 13 years ago

After the tragedies of 9/11 I had to return to my downtown office, just a few blocks from the towers. It was one thing to be there the day of (and quite similarly being in a situation of things being quite different had I been a little earlier that day) - but seeing the aftermath was quite tough. It gets better - and while the day and events has not been forgotten, the scene just doesn't bring that fear anymore - not for a long time now.

You'll be fine. Talk to your friends and family when you feel like you aren't. In the end, you will be fine.

ghc2• 13 years ago

The worst part about all of this has been the many scenes I saw on Monday that caused flashbacks to memories of 9/11. Nothing I saw Monday compares to the horror of being with friends waiting to find out that yes, their parents had died in the WTC. Even seeing blood and police everywhere steel feels abstract.

I am relatively certain that I won't be fearful (or at least I hope so). I just hope passing by the scene will not cause an emotional response that I can't hold back. Most weeks I pass by the spot a dozen times or more, and I don't want to unconsciously play a game of "what if" every time I'm there.

robflynn• 13 years ago

I'm happy that you're okay. Just don't let it control your life in a negative way / cause you to live in fear. I know that sounds easier said than done. While not on the same scale, it took me a while to move past insane amounts of fear anything a nasty storm rolled through due to a traumatic tornado event when I was younger.

A life lived doing what makes you happy is a good thing. I realized that later in life than I should have.

I'm happy to say that my friends in the area were okay as well.

swombat4• 13 years ago

I was pretty shell-shocked for the first day too (it happened in the morning). I kept watching TV coverage of it (once I got home), until my friend came to visit and snapped me out of it. I felt like I was in a daze.

My advice in your situation would be: don't rush it. There's plenty of time to make these decisions when you are not shell-shocked. The important thing is the insight, the change of perspective. The decisions will follow naturally, but no need to make them while you're still dazed and confused.

A week or a month won't make that much difference to your decision - but they will mean that when you look back at it a year later, it won't be with the feeling that perhaps you rushed the decision.

The bomb that changed my life (2011)

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