The importance of being unrealistic

http://alyssaaldersley.com/the-importance-of-being-unrealistic/

by andydev • 14 years ago

50 14 14 years ago

guylhem3• 14 years ago

So true. It is one of the defining features about late adolescence and early adulthood: we believe we can achieve everything through hard work. Nothing is impossible.

For some reason, this sparkle, this feeling vanishes in many people. They become happy cogs of a big working machine called society. It seem to me like a life full of despair - they are just waiting for death to do its part. No ambition, no nothing - barely staying alive, at the expense of others if required.

Some say it's the children effect. I've had friends with children explaining me seriously that they would do everything for their children - and when I tried to explore that (I really wondered about this "everything") they said up to killing innocent people for the sake of their own children.

Some quote philosophers saying that you either create children or you create yourself. There might be some truth in that, but I don't believe it is the whole thing.

This sparkle persist in some people, with or without children - not just founders, but from all the parts of society. That is what IMHO makes humanity move forward.

Regardless of one political opinions, this is something also very deep in Ayn Rand work - refusing mediocrity, living for the sake of it, to achieve big things, the things one loves and dreams about. I don't know many authors where this is so beautifully said.

"Real life" may be about renonciations, but if having children didn't do it, too many renonciation might kill up the sparkle for good.

Preserve it, cherish it - it's the most important thing in your life.

EDIT: downvoted already. I see HN is just as liberal as often, and saying "Ayn Rand" regardless of the context is worthy of a negative vote. Whatever.

ghubbard2• 14 years ago

I'm guessing downvotes are more due to your incoherent ramblings than mentioning "Ayn Rand".

For example: "too many renonciation might kill up the sparkle for good." makes no sense to me.

[Edit: Removed the non-constructive comment which is quoted below.]

guylhem3• 14 years ago

Values differ.

Personally, I frequently find the most value in comments trying to articulate hard to understand concepts: they seem to resonate with me and help me understand a topic, even more when they reach valid yet counterintuitive conclusions.

I guess we each use HN for our own purposes. Personally, I see it as a forum of bright minds to explore complex concepts such as creativity, or the place of passion in one's work .

adamman• 14 years ago

"I hope english is not your first language" - What do you care? You are just being a dick.

tpatke• 14 years ago

This kind of 'pep-talk' is great - and it can be very motivating. But let's be clear. Hard work is a necessary but insufficient condition for success. Having big unrealistic dreams is great, but you should probably deliver something that works in the next three months.

Kaivo• 14 years ago

It's indeed very motivating to read/hear such things. Still, there is always this underlying fear of failure that stays present, and this fear is somehow difficult to overcome. After all, of all the dreams people have, of all the people working their way toward their dreams, how many are actually succeeding? We can't really deny that for some case, regardless of the effort put together, it can/will still fail.

From this fear, the rest kind of snowball; you are afraid to fail, therefore you do all you can to not fail, you stay realistic about the situation, you even expect failures [1]. I do find all this very inspirational, but also difficult to apply altogether when in a realistic or even negative state of mind. The first smallest failure will be a reason to give up, to lose motivation.

The points mentioned by Will Smith in the video the author linked could be applied one at the time to eventually reach a point where these fears can be put aside, almost forgotten, and all the rest could follow, slowly built by placing one brick at the time.

Maybe the thoughts are mixed up, or I don't understand it the way the author meant to explain it, but I see that those two HN threads are linked, but almost opposite. Will Smith states that having a Plan B distracts us from Plan A. Expecting failure ahead is preparing those Plan B.

[1]http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4897467

guylhem3• 14 years ago

Don't fear failure- compute a risk of failure for every project and every action you take, then plan for this risk of failure

Ex: "I will be paid in this currency, but it risks falling" -> I will therefore buy an option.

Having fully alternative plans as you proposed is also a great way to do that (ex: "if this currency keeps falling, I could even move my business there to take advantage of the opportunities"!)

Anyway, failures happen. But if you truthfully evaluated the risk of failure and the "actual failure rate" is within your expectations, then your plan should provide an adequate mitigation strategy and there's no reason to worry.

Positive or negative thinking will then become far less important than the internal belief you can achieve everything - because you will just plan around real risks, and trust your ability to evaluate the situation.

sthatipamala• 14 years ago

This is a good post and I'm glad the author has an outlook on life that makes her happy.

But as a counterexample, I can point to Warren Buffet, who gained success through a lifetime of calculated and very realistic decisions. Instead of the Will Smith quote, I can devise a mantra with a similarly wise-sounding turn of phrase (e.g. "A head in the clouds cannot build empires on Earth").

With anecdotal evidence and well-phrased quotes, any reasonable point of view can sound correct. And ostensibly both views ARE right. Both Will Smith and Warren Buffet are among the best at what they do.

When it comes to Big Questions™ (perfectionism vs. just good enough, grand visions vs. spontaneity, etc), there is ample evidence on both sides. Pick one and move on because the real secret to success lies elsewhere.

kalms2• 14 years ago

I think the part about perfecting your skill, instead of relying solely on talent, is probably where most people will find success in their lives.

imgabe• 14 years ago

Yes, in order to achieve unrealistic goals, you have to be willing to attempt them. But there is survivorship bias at work here. Of course the people who've succeeded in their unrealistic goals will tout the importance of never giving up. You won't ever hear from the people who failed.

I think you (the general you, not the author in particular) have to come to terms with the fact that unrealistic goals are unrealistic for a reason, and that failure is the most likely outcome. You have to find failing at what you want more desirable than succeeding at something you don't want.

abdophoto• 14 years ago

I completely agree. I had a friend who used to always tells me "dude, you need to be realistic", and I would always refer to that video of Will Smith.

I'm not sure how many of you guys have seen this series, but "The Men Who Built America" on the History Chanel is one of the best series I've seen in entrepreneurship in a long time.

kalms2• 14 years ago

Condensed version: Don't be afraid to dream big, as long as you're ready to work your ass off.

josgraha• 14 years ago

In my opinion the most important skill is philosophy, I think someone once asked "To be X or !X?" Without philosophy we have nothing, no science or math. If greatness is doing the best we possibly can at everything we do then that's "great" for us personally but does it make other's lives great as well? It is one thing to be of the highest possible skill level, or in other words "great", at something like programming but what if your goal is to make everyone who touches your work from testers to line managers live's easier? Wouldn't you be perceived as "great" regardless of your skills as a programmer? Will Smith seems like such a great guy his energy just radiates from everything he says and does and his work ethic is also inspiring. But a performing artist's role is probably more altruistic than someone in a technical role where the altruistic outcomes are less obvious. Start with philosophy my friends.

The importance of being unrealistic

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