Heading Out on Your Own: 31 Life Skills in 31 Days

http://artofmanliness.com/2012/09/01/heading-out-on-your-own-31-life-skills-in-31-days-series-wrap-up/

by ginozola • 14 years ago

193 28 14 years ago

datr• 14 years ago

I liked the section titled "Good manners are not stiff, formal, or awkward." It reminded me of a story I was told of a dinner party at which one of the guests suffered from cerebral palsy. The host seeing that the guest was having trouble with her knife and fork immediately put down her own cutlery and started eating with her hands. Once the guest noticed this she felt she had leave to do the same. The story's a good example of "people over process".

splat• 14 years ago

I remember a similar sort of story, though it's probably apocryphal. The Japanese ambassador was dining with Queen Victoria at a very formal dinner. Towards the end of the dinner, the guests were given a small bowl of warm water with which to wash their fingers. The Japanese ambassador, being unaware of what to do with it, drank the contents---a major faux pas. The Queen, seeing this, drank hers as well, and all the guests then did likewise.

Robin_Message• 14 years ago

In line with these stories, my parents always taught me that good manners are about making your guests (or host) feel comfortable. The rules are not the important bit of manners.

ohashi• 14 years ago

The most relevant one I saw and read was the Networking one. I think a lot of people I meet (or see at networking events) need to read that.

SonicSoul• 14 years ago

this is great. i esp wish someone encouraged me to make an effort and "Day 22 - Learn how to small talk".

growing up i hated small talk and this translated very well into hobbies involving staying home and hacking things, and later doing that at work.

it wasn't until much later that i realized how important it is to make real human connections and be able to interact with strangers. This seems to be harder to get right the older one gets.

mukaiji• 14 years ago

oh... how i wish i would have read "Living With Roommates Tips" beforehand.

mmanfrin• 14 years ago

AoM is one of the few blogs that I feel genuinely compelled to read. Very good writing, and about skills/knowledge that we all need in our life (regardless of profession).

peter_l_downs• 14 years ago

This is awesome — I just recently moved out of my parents' home for the first time and have been doing my best to adjust to life "on my own". Thanks for posting this.

vishaldpatel• 14 years ago

The article on stress management should be listed first. http://artofmanliness.com/2012/08/30/heading-out-on-your-own...

tgrass6• 14 years ago

It's a sad state of men when day 15 is How to Change a Tire, when it ought to be how to fix one: http://www.alpharubicon.com/bovstuff/tirepluguzi.htm

dnissley• 14 years ago

In my experience, when you're first headed out on your own with (probably) a used vehicle with tires that are of unknown age, you're more likely to burst one than simply have a small puncture/leak. Maybe that's just because my state (IN) sucks at road repairs though.

CamperBob22• 14 years ago

Tires should be patched, not plugged (and only when the hole is nowhere near the sidewall). I've never had a tire plug hold, or a patch fail.

Patching them can still be done at home but I've always let the guy at the garage do it, because he sees a couple of cases a day instead of one every 3-4 years like I do.

tgrass6• 14 years ago

Each of the tires on my old Chevy at one point had over a dozen plugs. Each plug lasted several years.

The beauty of a plug is the kit is five bucks, comes with about a dozen plugs and you can use it anywhere. Get a thirty five dollar compressor to run off your battery and you can fix a puncture by yourself in the middle of nowhere. Not so with a patch.

But then I also won't drive more than twenty miles from my house without a toolbox...so....

mmcnickle• 14 years ago

As a tyre mechanic for 4 years, I can tell you that patches are far more reliable than plugs. So much, in fact, that we stopped using plugs.

tgrass6• 14 years ago

I don't disagree - but here in the desert where my tires only last four or five years due to heat and sun, my plugs survive for the life of the tire; by increasing the factor of safety with a patch I gain little but confidence.

kahawe3• 14 years ago

Why is this sad? It shows we are living in a very service-oriented society where a lot of people will happily let "experts" do all sorts of tasks for them that maybe 50 years ago nobody would have imagined spending money on. Also, I think most quality tires nowadays don't puncture or rip that easily anymore, at least not the ones on sale here in Europe so most people hardly ever have to change or fix tires on the spot; and when having to switch to mandatory winter tires, well, then they obviously prefer to pay a little for it. And I doubt you are able to cost-effectively and efficiently balance and mount your own tires on the rims since you are very likely lacking all the (expensive) tools.

Generally while not very applicable to tires but you can hardly do any repairs on modern cars anymore anyway. So I think these small tasks just died along with repairs. Nowadays cars are "black boxes" and they either drive or you hand the whole thing to someone who will hook it up to a computer and then do magic according to the manufacturer's specifications until that box drives again.

tgrass6• 14 years ago

Plugging a tire is simpler than fixing a bike tire in most cases. I can plug a tire without taking it off the vehicle. It costs $5 and less than ten minutes. It took me less than five minutes to teach my son when he was six.

It is a sad state because tires are not a black box. This is not an anachronistic tool or bit of knowledge. Flat tires are common. If one finds it necessary to buy a replacement tire (which most people will) for $100 instead of plugging (or even patching) the old one - this is a sad state. It is wasteful of one's time and money.

natep• 14 years ago

For anyone that wants to read these posts in an RSS reader one day at a time, I suggest Feed Playback [1]. Just enter the feed URL [2] and a start date of 2012-08-01. Unfortunately, the feed is mixed in with every other update that gets put on the site, so it will take longer than a month to complete.

[1] http://www.streamspigot.com/feed-playback/

[2] http://feeds2.feedburner.com/TheArtOfManliness

taroth• 14 years ago

In #13 Networking: >"If you’re in San Francisco looking for a tech job, you’ll want to be using the latest connection apps"

I've never seen this in the LA community. Is this the norm up north?

akldfgj• 14 years ago

That's just SV navel gazing.

JackDanger• 14 years ago

Since this doesn't relate to 'manliness' at all but merely maturity as a person, it seems appropriate to post this translation:

http://artofwomanliness.heroku.com/2012/09/01/heading-out-on...

alanbyrne• 14 years ago

None of these articles seem to be about women or sex... interesting.

I got this book for my 18th birthday, and it was invaluable in shaping me into the person I am today. I don't quite understand why it costs £65 on Amazon though: http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Man-John-Birmingham/dp/187598...

jiggy2011• 14 years ago

The advice about budgeting is good common sense. On the other hand I feel that sometimes people address personal finance as a simple arithmetic exercise (income - expense), whereas I think it is sometimes better treated in a more algebraic fashion.

In other words identify the variables in your balance sheet (Hint: everything is a variable) and try to anticipate what happens as things change. Your finances are affected by changes outside of your control, for example the government or local authority can decide to stick your taxes up, changes in the commodities market can affect the price of staples such as a food and fuel or your electric company might read your meter and then slap you with a bill of double your usual amount.

This is something that I find annoying about the UK, whilst all of the high street banks offer some form of online banking none of them to my knowledge will allow me to pull out the raw data and play with it. I'm sure that using some fairly rudimentary statistical analysis I could gain much more insight into the implications of my financial situation.

For example, let's say I get a pay rise. I might be inclined to celebrate by going out and buying a brand new iPad or whatever. But maybe if I sum the amount that I spend at the supermarket each month I notice an upward trend that will wipe out the pay increase within 6 months. Does this mean that I am acquiring "good taste" in a few too many areas or does it simply mean that "cost of living" is increasing faster than inflation and I need to account for that.

Heading Out on Your Own: 31 Life Skills in 31 Days

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