Ask HN: how to find a good mentor?

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4290190

by aledalgrande • 14 years ago

47 14 14 years ago

news.ycombinator.com

I feel I need one, especially as I'm going to try and do my first real startup, but I don't know where to find such a person.

1) Where do you find this kind of people? Incubators? Posh parties? Shared work spaces? Networking?

2) Should the mentor be a person highly experienced? Or just more experienced than me?

3) I know it's a bidirectional exchange so I have to provide something to have it. How is this really working?

4) And in time scale, how much does a good mentor follow his protegé?

Thanks for any suggestion!

fab1an• 14 years ago

I wouldn't flat out ask people to mentor you, just as you wouldn't ask someone explicitly to become 'close friends' right away - great relationships take time to be developed.

Instead, how about simply asking a more experienced entrepreneur or investor for their advise on your startup. Depending on where you live, you could approach them at local startup events (where are you based?) - offer to buy them lunch or coffee in exchange for their advise. Who knows, ideally one of those might become your startup's first investor - as the not-too-old adage goes, ask for advise to get funding, ask for funding to get advise.

Most people will be flattered if you just genuinely ask them for their opinion and help - the rest has to be developed over time.

aledalgrande2• 14 years ago

Thanks for your tips fab1an. I understand it's more of a human relationship than simply a business one. I'm based in London, by the way.

georgespencer3• 14 years ago

You don't need a mentor. You need to start doing interesting things.

When you're doing interesting things you will meet people who are motivated to help you.

People won't take much of an interest in a person who is looking for a mentor but not doing anything.

Stop overthinking this. Establish relationships with other entrepreneurs near you. You can shoot the shit with them when things are good and when things are bad. You'll get introduced to other interesting people.

One day maybe you'll meet the fairy godmother you seem to be seeking, but if you don't you'll have made a start and know some interesting people. And, crucially, you'll be doing something.

Edit: Just saw that you're based in London. Go to the meetups and hackathons and python dojos and LRUG etc.

aledalgrande2• 14 years ago

Thanks georgespencer, that got me realise probably I'm just planning stuff that doesn't go planned.

I was going to meetups and LRUG, but in most of them I just found people that talk and don't do, so I decided I stopped going until I roll out something or at least do some customer dev.

Thing is with this approach I won't meet any fellow entrepreneur, too extreme, isn't it? ;)

taumeson• 14 years ago

I'm going to disagree with georgespencer -- not with his perfectly reasonable suggestions, but with the premise that it's not worth seeking out a mentor. On the face of it, nobody "needs" a mentor, but the entire idea behind a mentor is face-to-face networking and advice. In addition, you will be borrowing your mentor's bona fides when you're having lunch with connections you've made via your mentor, and this can go a long way. A friend of mine has Gary Reiner for a mentor -- having that kind of horsepower behind your idea is priceless.

Having said all this, your best bet is to network and seek out introductions. You can't come in "cold", but "lukewarm" is okay, as long as there's a personal connection of some kind to your mentor -- whether it's a shared vision or a shared connection.

ETA: clarity.

georgespencer3• 14 years ago

It's not an uncommon trait in entrepreneurs to want to plan everything down to minute details. Don't be discouraged by that tendency.

If you want to chat sometime, I'm on Gtalk & Jabber 24/7. My email address is in my profile.

the1• 14 years ago

it's near you. it's you.

imjared• 14 years ago

When a friend of mine moved to New York City, he started reaching out to top-notch designers (there are quite a few there) basically saying "Hey, I'm new to the town, here's what I do, here's what I've done, would you be interested in getting together to talk?" and surprisingly, a few of these people made time in their life to meet him. He has since fostered a relationship with industry leaders and now meets and works closely on side projects with some of the biggest names in design. I'm not saying this will always happen but I think you would be surprised at what people are willing to do if you show motivation. I agree with previous comments that you should be doing interesting things but also be prepared to just share your hopes and goals.

To answer your questions: 1) anywhere 2) yes. yes. 3) I think a good mentor will realize the nature of the relationship. I don't think they're always looking to gain something. 4) no idea.

iambateman• 14 years ago

Don't forget, it is fundamentally easier to coach someone than to act on advice. So the field for potential (good) coaches/mentors is relatively large.

The famous/successful/rich all got very lucky at some point (in addition to hard work), so many of them might not be the most valuable mentors. Especially if you're not already connected.

And of course, reading good authors will do a world of good. Writers like Peter Drucker, Zig Ziglar, and Jim Collins can be fantastic teachers.

Finally, there is a cottage industry of "pay me and I will give you advice." Which is sad faced panda to the max. Probably don't waste your time and money there.

SatvikBeri• 14 years ago

How do you find a good spouse? By dating several people.

With mentorship-ask several people for advice. You can basically use cold calls here, many people love advising others. I've used LinkedIn to find experts on a problem I'm facing and ask them for advice, with great results.

Then, more importantly, apply their advice and tell them how it helped. This can be as simple as sending an email afterwards saying "Hey X, your advice on Y helped us in Z way." This is important because 90% of people don't actually act on the advice they receive. By acting on the advice, you make it clear that you actually value what your potential mentor has to say.

semicolondev• 14 years ago

Good look on your search.

It's always nice to sit/talk with people who are more experienced than you in a particular subject of interest. My wish.

swiil• 14 years ago

Check this book out - there's a whole section on mentors...

http://www.amazon.com/The-Students-Guide-Success-Connections...

sebg• 14 years ago

In order to find a good mentor you need to know what you need to be mentored on - that is, what do you want to get out of the relationship? As you are starting a startup you can possibly find a mentor in any type of startup-related activity (startup law, accounting, programming, marketing, growth-hacking, etc). Only by starting your startup will you figure out what explicitly you need help with and can then figure out who is the right mentor to approach.

So I agree with georgespencer - you don't need a mentor right now, you need to start doing things. As you do these things it gives you something to talk about with various people and then you can dive into a mentorship relationship.

Regarding bidirectional exchange - perhaps you are very good at some things others are not. You can use this to mentor your mentor.

As you grow and learn your mentoring needs may grow and change, so what you are really should be seeking is a community not a mentor. Go to the meetups / hackathons and make friends so you can join the community.

Ask HN: how to find a good mentor?

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