Getting my money back

Fellow hackers - I wanted to get this question out there, because I hate being screwed by banks. I recently got a gift from someone - a debit card, in my name, from a well known bank. The card has $1800 on it, and I can go to any store, and buy whatever the hell I want. Except there is a catch. Given the economy, (and what I mean by that is my personal economy) I don't want to go out and spend it all. I want to withdraw it, and put it into my bank account for safe keeping. I went to my bank yesterday, and we tried to withdraw cash, to deposit it, but was told this was impossible. I called customer service for the card, and was told it was it a "no cash out" card - ie, you can't get cash out of an ATM, or withdraw any cash. Weird - it's my money, I should be able to do whatever the fuck I want, right? Plus, on top, this wonderful bank starts charging a 'monthly fee' for this great service.

So, that's why I'm coming to you guys - I was thinking of paying myself (via Square) for services worth $1800 bucks - but that would mean paying Jack Dorsey and Co. 2.75% of my hard earned cash.

Have you any other ideas on how I can turn my $1800 in to cash?