My Favorite Math Jokes

by belter • 2 years ago

19 17 2 years ago

belter3• 2 years ago

https://arxiv.org/pdf/2403.01010.pdf

I thought arxiv is where people publish research papers or scholarly articles, I didn't know you could do things like this? Does this mean anyone can publish opinion pieces and humour too (ie, something that I'd normally see as a blog post)?

belter3• 2 years ago

I guess depends who is doing it? Are you a professional mathematician like the author?

politelemon3• 2 years ago

I'm not, just asking a question out of curiosity, but I suppose it's being seen as though I'm deriding it (since tone doesn't carry over text).

lupire• 2 years ago

Arxiv is a group blog, not a journal.

Once you've been admitted to club (admission is by invitation from a current member), you can post whatever you want. Calling it "publishing" is gauche.

https://info.arxiv.org/help/endorsement.html

politelemon3• 2 years ago

TIL thanks, I had assumed it was "journaly" because of the intro paragraph on the arxiv.org page

karmakaze• 2 years ago

My favorite from the bunch I read:

Quantum entanglement is simple: when you have a pair of socks and you put one of them on your left foot, the other one becomes the “right sock”, no matter where it is located in the universe.

Or if you put it on your right foot, then the one somewhere in the universe becomes the "left sock".

pella• 2 years ago

HTML version for mobile users: https://arxiv.org/html/2403.01010v1

last 2:

- "50% of marriages end with divorce. The other 50% end with death."

- "If a man tries to fail and succeeds, which did he do?"

belter3• 2 years ago

A logician rides an elevator. The door opens and someone asks:

—Are you going up or down?

—Yes

mcswell• 2 years ago

Missing one.

When Noah got off the ark, he told the animals "Go forth and multiply."

Noah did inspection tours each month. After a couple months there were baby rabbits, soon baby squirrels, and after 16 months there was even a baby elephant. But month after month, the snakes failed to reproduce.

"What's the matter with you guys?" he asked.

"After the flood, it's been wet and cold down here on the ground. We just can't get it up."

"Ok," said Noah. "I think I know what to do." So he tore some of the wooden logs out of the ark and built a table high enough to get the snakes up off the ground, with a ramp so they could crawl up on top and sun themselves.

Next month when Noah came back, there were baby snakes everywhere!

Which just shows to go, even an adder can multiply if you give him a log table.

sorokod• 2 years ago

Get real, said Pi to i.

Be rational, i replied.

CurtMonash4• 2 years ago

A poor mathematician had a very dodgy gas stove. Indeed, it caused a small fire. So he quickly filled a pot with water and put the fire out.

A few days later, it happened again. This time, there happened to be a pot filled with water, waiting to be used.

So he emptied the pot, thus reducing the problem to one he already had solved.

xigoi• 2 years ago

A mathematician was working when she noticed that her trash bin is burning. She turned around and saw a fire extinguisher. “Clearly the problem has a solution”, she said to herself and went back to work.

CurtMonash4• 2 years ago

A mathematican, biologist and engineer were so stoned that they struggled with the claim "All odd numbers are prime."

The mathematician reasoned "3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is ... not prime. The claim is false."

The biologist reasoned "3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is ... not prime. 11 is prime. 13 is prime. The claim looks true, within reasonable experimental error."

The engineer reasoned "3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is prime. 11 is prime. ..."

CurtMonash4• 2 years ago

Grafitti I saw in a university restroom:

Without her, I am nothing.

ME - SHE = 0

ME = SHE

M = SH

----------

You can probably guess the next line if and only if you can guess the university.

CurtMonash4• 2 years ago

And of course:

What's purple and commutes?

An Abelian grape

throwaway81523• 2 years ago

If only King Solomon had known about the Banach-Tarski paradox! Instead of cutting the baby into two pieces, he could have suggested 5 pieces and made both mothers happy!

My Favorite Math Jokes

Related Stories