How to wear your baby to work

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-03142-2

by sohkamyung • 6 years ago

37 38 6 years ago

k2enemy3• 6 years ago

Fast forward three years to the birth of my second child earlier this year, and I am a senior postdoc and the president of our local babywearing group. I started wearing number 2 to the lab two weeks after she was born, because I was planning to apply for faculty jobs, and I was worried that taking time off would weaken my applications.

Nothing to do with baby wearing (which I am a huge proponent of) but this sounds miserable. Still a postdoc after three years and going in to the lab two weeks after giving birth? We are producing way too many grad students.

dj_gitmo• 6 years ago

Maybe she is delaying applying for a position because she has to literally wear a baby all day? It's difficult to have a job and an infant, so why try and get an even more demanding job when you are in that stage of your life.

mschuster91• 6 years ago

Still a postdoc after three years and going in to the lab two weeks after giving birth? We are producing way too many grad students.

No, you're lacking adequate protection for fresh parents, mothers and fathers alike.

At the moment career market forces have the upper hand - they can select for those who are willing to go back to the lab two weeks postpartum. If it were mandatory that all new parents had six months postpartum time off, the situation would be different.

k2enemy3• 6 years ago

No, you're lacking adequate protection for fresh parents, mothers and fathers alike.

Clearly. And universities are not pressured to extend those protections to postdocs because of the oversupply Ph.Ds.

butwhydotjpg• 6 years ago

Probably not given the dynamics already at play. Paternity leave policies for young economics academics gave men an upper hand, because they were able to use their leave to continue working, but still benefit from the paused tenure clock. (I still support universal parental leave policies.)

https://www.universityaffairs.ca/features/feature-article/pa...

watwut2• 6 years ago

In academia, it would mean that having child would be career end. Only childless would be able to compete.

babywearingmama4• 6 years ago

I agree it would be different. My friends in Europe get leave and it works for them. It was funny to write this for a British journal because their perspective on caregiving is so different. Pumping is pretty much unheard of in Europe.

One reason I was going to work was because I love my research, but if I could have taken six months off, paid, without worrying about career progression, then I probably would have spent a whole lot more of that babywearing time reading novels or going for walks outside.

peterwoerner2• 6 years ago

Your conclusion is very true. And academia has a way of putting the pressure on the young workforce (until tenure at 40ish) to work long hours for not much money.

And while this is true, it is also worth pointing out that many parents don't want to pause their adult/career goals for 3-6 months because of a new baby. I recently had my first child and while she was little (now 10 months) she would sleep/sit on my lap while I wrote code/ran numerical experiments. I had paternity leave, but I needed to keep working on something because I have an active mind. Now I only worked 4ish hours a day instead of my usual 8-10 (and on side projects instead of work), but I wanted to continue working. My wife who does graphic/web design consulting continued after the birth because it feels good to do adult things. And she didn't stop just because the baby was born she just dropped to 5ish hours a week which has slowly crept back up.

jacobolus4• 6 years ago

3–10 months is easy enough. But you’ll have to be some kind of superhero to keep doing 4–5 hours of focused work a day with a 2–3 year old climbing on you.

babywearingmama4• 6 years ago

Author here! The subtext to this piece is that this is really about coping with the fact that grad students and postdocs in the US rarely get much parental leave. My institution offers two paid weeks off following childbirth. There’s FMLA but few grad student and postdocs can afford to take unpaid leave. Postdoc parents get very little support and everybody who does it has to find their own way to manage. On top of that is the fact that gaps in your training, if you manage to get leave, hurt your chances of getting a job because it is so uncommon to actually get time off.

I chose to do this because I did not find it to be miserable, although it definitely wouldn’t work for everybody.

In my field (biology), it is typical to postdoc for 3-6 years so I’m actually on the early side. That postdocs take so long is definitely something that needs to be addressed, though.

k2enemy3• 6 years ago

Thank you for the reply! I'm sorry for the poor leave conditions at your institution. It would be great if you got more (paid) time off and were able to participate in work in a voluntary fashion rather than out of necessity.

I was lucky that when my first was born my institution began a policy of a semester of paid leave for the mother or partner. As others have pointed out though, it seems to have a drawback that partners are more likely to use it for extra research time, which tends to raise tenure standards for everyone, including mothers.

I think the problem is larger than a policy can address. We need a culture change.

And enjoy the baby wearing! Mine are too big now and I miss it dearly.

semi-extrinsic• 6 years ago

Being a father I cannot comment too much on wearing baby to work. (I would be inclined to say that mothers, even scientist mothers, should be given sufficient parental leave, and that this should be adjusted for in all hiring processes.)

But I did frequently wear both our babies in a sling during lots of other activities. Hiking, cross country skiing, strolling around town, doing small projects around the house, or just sitting down to read a book, are all really nice activities to do while wearing baby. All parents should try it. It's a closeness to your baby that is hard to convey if you haven't experienced it.

jacobolus4• 6 years ago

One additional tip: if you hold your baby by the thighs and let them learn to balance their torso upright for a few minutes a day starting at about 5 months, within a month or two they should have enough strength/balance to sit up on your shoulders.

Personally I found carrying a baby on shoulders a heck of a lot more convenient and comfortable than carrying them on my chest. Also then the whole time you are walking around the baby is further strengthening their muscles and improving their balance.

caffeine• 6 years ago

I think it's great her work allowed this and to the degree that it is not distracting for others, more workplaces should do so. I've done a lot of coding in 2020 during WFH with my son on my lap and I must say it's very pleasant

falseAss• 6 years ago

I personally find it's hard to focus (read / write code or document) with an 7-month infant around. The baby is constantly asking for parent's attention.

I hope things could be better when she become 2-year old, but not really confident on that.

jacobolus4• 6 years ago

For me at least, a 2-year-old took an order of magnitude more attention than a 7-month-old. So I wouldn’t hold your breath.

My 4-year-old is finally getting a bit more independent now though. Now that he is able to read books, draw pictures, build things with construction toys, etc. that can keep him independently engaged for a good while with intermittent encouragement.

jeffrallen• 6 years ago

Baby wearing is also a good way for dads to find their place in baby care. Take the time to learn a couple sling knots. Having the skiing with you is as essentiel as having a towel with you... It is a towel, blanket, picnic blanket, carpet, bed, curtain and sun screen. No single takers allowed!

chrisin2d• 6 years ago

I have thought about how it would be societally healthy for parents to bring their babies and infants to work. In modern times we treat child-rearing as a private matter to be hidden from public adult life, but it’s long been a communal matter.

Admittedly, I’m not great with kids: I don’t have the instincts yet. But I can recognize that childcare isn’t something that someone can schedule as a 4-hour bloc to be one-and-done in the evening (if they can’t or don’t want to hand their child to some hired service): it’s interwoven throughout a parent’s day. Sure, there will be crying and other noises, but I can deal with that. It seems to me artificial to make the 9am-5pm workday so sterile and devoid of organic human activity.

I’m young and was a child of a single working mother not very long ago. I remember it being difficult for her. But I am now grown and — in a nod to my mother and other parents like her — favor a parent-friendly work culture.

jedberg3• 6 years ago

I think the pandemic has helped in this regard. It seems to be pretty acceptable now to have a quiet kid sitting in your lap for a meeting, or taking a quick second to answer their question.

I hope this trend continues past the pandemic.

Nasrudith• 6 years ago

I think there was a valid reason for that tendency even if it isn't the only right decision. If your job involves contact with many people (let alone other hazards) it sounds like a very good way to get the young child and everybody else infected as they have a non-fully developed immune system. There is a "too young for daycare" period for one. Cloistering the kids away (always a relative matter) may have developed as a strategy (by conscious or otherwise) to reduce infant mortality when the means were available. Farm work, hunter-gatherers and similiar could qualify as somewhat "bubbled" by low density.

Socialization wise I can see it being a win potentially for bonding and experience for the kid certainly assuming it doesn't turn into "crying baby on an airplane but everywhere" situation which would hinder adoption.

jedberg3• 6 years ago

I loved baby wearing. It kept both my hands free. In the first few months, it was perfect because I could reach around her and still type on the keyboard. It also makes traveling with the baby a lot easier because you have your hands free for luggage and whatnot.

It was also great exercise to wear the baby while doing physical activity. I once carried her through the streets and museums of Paris for an entire day, and was barely sore.

If you're a mom or dad I highly encourage it. In fact, it's a great way for dad to help out while mom's body recovers from birth.

dleslie• 6 years ago

I've had two babies while working from home at my current gig, and both of them spent plenty of time strapped to me while I bounced on a yoga ball and wrote code.

I went with a sling/wrap, and could easily snug a bottle under it for them to nurse on while I worked. (I'm a man, making me ill-equipped to do so otherwise).

prionassembly• 6 years ago

The article doesn't deliver what the title promises.

I'm going to be a dad in mid 21 and want to carry the child with me a lot. I've seen people use entire plastic products they attach to their upper torso that seem great, as (1) I'm not confident on my knot making skills (and I have a lot to learn already) and (2) maybe that stuff distributes the weight around better?

But: maybe slings built out of whole cloth like the one shown in the picture are better somehow for parental attachment, and the structured kangaroo carrier is halfway a stroller. Maybe that's not even the tradeoff and there are other health and hazard considerations (e.g. sometimes I get hyperfocused enough that I can forgo lunch; should I carry my child on my chest rather than my back so I'm better aware of her status?)

I want to know a lot about this subject and don't even know what questions to ask.

vondur• 6 years ago

I used the Baby Bjorn harness to tote my son around when he was an infant. He really liked it, and I was able to shop and get things done with him. I liked it.

mensetmanusman2• 6 years ago

Baby Bjorn worked for us as well. Had two so that wife and I could have our sizes immediately available. Baby definitely happier, and you can get a lot of chores done :)

watwut2• 6 years ago

Your baby will be attached alright no matter what device. They all have you having tons on contact. Plus, most of year you two start warm cloth outside.

Yet also, your baby will attach to you even in stroller, don't worry. Wearing baby is super practical definitely, but go with device that is most comfortable to you. The more comfortable, the more you will do it.

wjnc• 6 years ago

My tip would be to find a baby carrying enthusiast, ask for help and just try the cloth solutions first if you think you could be into cloth. My children didn't like being carried (I'm a shoulder carrying father now), but the knots at least where super easy. The knots don't hold the weight, the cloth and the shoulders to. The knots mainly finish the excess cloth so there's not much reason to be afraid that your child will fall due to a bad knot per se. The cloth will sag a lot before that.

lukewrites• 6 years ago

We are expecting a baby next year, and I'm planning to wear the infant during good chunks of the workday once I'm off parental leave. I hope it'll help give my wife some time to herself and with our toddler. And it'll be nice to cuddle an infant while writing code.

I'm not sure what kind of baby carrier to use, but will give cloth a try at first. I also like carrying my son on my shoulders but given how big he's getting I'm starting to worry about what that fall would be like if something were to happen...

sgawlik• 6 years ago

I’d suggest chest since the head will be wobbly and needs support early on. I used the ergo baby carrier which supports the head when you’re chest to chest with the baby. Later you can turn the baby around when the neck muscles are developed. Also, no worries: she’ll let you know what her status is and she won’t forego too many meals :) I’d also recommend multiple carrying contraptions like the solly if you can muscle memorize how to wrap it. You’ll figure out what works best for you and you have a backup if your primary is involved in a diaper accident.

jedberg3• 6 years ago

I hated the cloth. It slipped all the time. Maybe it was a user error, but at the end of the day, I was constantly tightening it and adjusting it.

The baby bjorn I adjusted once and it was good for months. It had clips to make it easy to take the baby in and out and for quick release when going through things like airport security.

My only complaint was that it was hard to do the clip in the back because I think it is designed for women who have a lot of experience clipping things behind their backs.

jacobolus4• 6 years ago

Maybe it was a user error

Yes, there are a zillion ways to wrap a long piece of cloth (people have been doing this for at least thousands of years), and there must surely be one of them that works for any body shape. The wrap takes a bit of practice and is definitely slightly slower to put on/off than some of the carriers though (maybe an extra 1 minute).

babywearingmama4• 6 years ago

Many communities have babywearing education and support groups where you can learn how to wear, get carrier fit checks, and even borrow carriers. If there is one near you, they might be doing remote meeting during COVID. There used to be an international babywearing organization but it disbanded a few years ago. YouTube us also a great babywearing resource.

There a many different styles of carriers so it is worth reading about and, if you can, trying out some different styles. Ring slings and stretchy wraps are great for newborns and are pretty easy to use. Woven wraps like I prefer are great for all ages and very comfortable but there is definitely a learning curve so keep that in mind and don’t get discouraged if it takes a while to get a good fit. There are buckle style carriers that can fit at any age. My personal favorite is the Kinderpack by Kindercarry.

gumby• 6 years ago

What an encouraging article.

I started wearing number 2 to the lab two weeks after she was born, because I was planning to apply for faculty jobs, and I was worried that taking time off would weaken my applications.

Also a good way to show you are a "no BS just gets things done" kind of person. Also selects out places that aren't tolerant of anything unusual, but given the number of post docs and faculty positions many may be afraid of this.

pcmaffey• 6 years ago

I’ve always wanted to invent a baby balloon that worked as a floating replacement for strollers. Not sure about the helium requirements for < 35 lbs...

tbihl• 6 years ago

22.4 L/mol (call it 20). Air is 80% N2, so let's just assume density of air is 30g/mol (N2 is 28, round up for ease of use.) Helium, I think, is monoatomic, so 2g/mol. Thus, load supportability is 28g for every 22.4L. 35lb(454g/lb)(22.4L/28g) = a lot, maybe around 10,000L.

mensetmanusman2• 6 years ago

Father of five. Really glad that the baby carriers work for us. I can do chores with the newborn, they rarely cry because they are so interested in floating around/moving, and it definitely increases core strength.

My favorite memory is being on a call with a few lawyers while carrying my 5 month old trying to move enough to prevent the baby from being bored/crying while simultaneously explaining our claim structure strategy.

That was a tiring 90 minute meeting.

babywearingmama4• 6 years ago

Hi, author here! Happy to answer any babywearing questions or point you to resources. Also it is great to see comments from so many babywearing dads!

How to wear your baby to work

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