Ask HN: How is everyone feeling?

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22659652

by thewarrior • 6 years ago

24 25 6 years ago

news.ycombinator.com

It does feel a bit weird to me sometimes to be reading about JavaScript or something on HN in the midst of all this but it’s also been a way for me to cope.

Given that HNers are more likely to spend time on their own I’m wondering on how fellow HNers are coping with all the stress and anxiety.

ohjeez• 6 years ago

Not all that well, personally. I try to hunker down and concentrate, but it's hard to remind myself that my work matters.

It doesn't help that both my husband and I clearly have a light case of the virus. It's a mild fever and a cough, and it appears to be getting better. (Certainly we are taking no chances! And have been in the house for 8 days already.) But feeling crappy only adds to the difficulties.

And yet I know we're the lucky ones. We both have worked at home for decades, so the "lifestyle" is nothing new; we aren't in danger of losing our incomes; we have health insurance; and we have cash in the bank.

One thing that has helped is setting up regular Zoom meetings to get together with friends. No agenda, no "let's try to concentrate on work" chat, just... hanging out together.

As Spider Robinson wrote so eloquently: Shared joy increases, shared pain decreases.

thewarrior• 6 years ago

Agreed that the present atmosphere makes it hard to concentrate on any one thing.

muzani• 6 years ago

I've been great, thanks for asking. It's a good way to spend time with family, clean up the house, learn new home based skills. I think all the zombie/war/survival games and movies have mentally prepared me well for this.

We had a blackout last night, and fish supplier messed up delivery over the weekend because of the broken supply chain. There's been trouble but that's fine. The kids were scared so they found comfort with the grandparents.

It might be a cultural thing though. It seems harder on the West, because we see movies like Contagion suggesting that society would break down and people would trample each other, riot, loot. Maybe the reason toilet paper sold out is because it's a way to cling to society. Anxiety is contagious.

I think there's been a healthy level of fear in Malaysia, with people keeping 1 meter apart in stores, everyone buying bread instead of eating out. It's been easier to shop for groceries and work. There are citizen calls for a full China-style lockdown. Some apartment complexes are doing "concerts", basically group karaoke blaring loud music, led by the person with the biggest speakers. We're experimenting with recipes, ways to replace lattes with instant coffee, and lots of friends I haven't seen for years are playing games online together.

I could get used to this; society feels too crowded and yet fragmented otherwise. But now it feels like we've come together as one big family. A related book is Tribe, by S. Junger, who suggests that people are happiest in difficult times, and all that is gone when society returns to normal.

lakshn• 6 years ago

To be honest it is kinda depressing, to see the numbers, and realizing that there are lives, and family members who have lost their dear ones, and may be affected behind the dots in the statistic. Hoping and praying that people will have the necessary strength to wade this through.

stannol2• 6 years ago

Not well, sadly. Trying to stay distracted but all that’s happened to me feels like the perfect storm.

Signed a new contract in January and was supposed to start in April, moving countries. Now my flight is canceled and even if it weren’t I’d be unable to enter the country since all visas have been voided. Moving company canceled on me (no money back also, claiming force majeure). Have to leave my apartment by the end of the month and have absolutely no idea what to do. My family is in another different country as well but it currently seems impossible to get me and my belongings there. Have little savings and after a month in a motel I’d be broke :(

dimator2• 6 years ago

i'm sorry, this is really awful :( can you contact your current apartment landlord and see what they can do, given the circumstances?

hang in there.

stannol2• 6 years ago

I have, but there is a new tenant moving in right after me so there's not much she can do. She offered to store my stuff in the garage for as long as needed thankfully.

Nextgrid• 6 years ago

I’m doing absolutely fine, business-wise the industry I’m in doesn’t seem too affected (I’m still getting clients reaching out to me) and the virus situation actually caused some very bad tax changes to be postponed.

My biggest problem at the moment is my flatmate. She’s been very anxious about this whole thing and is guzzling the social-media misinformation, FUD and conspiracy theories 24/24.

dimator2• 6 years ago

the media storm has been the most disheartening thing to me. the media (all media: the news, social, tv, print) exist to serve your eyeballs to advertisers. the biggest, scariest headlines win, and it really seems like outlets are only too keen to exploit that right now. the signal to noise ratio right now is MINUSCULE, with "experts" and talking heads and human interest stories dominating.

please try to convince your flatmate (as I do everyone around me) that the media will gladly firehose useless panic mongering, as long as it keeps people around past the commercial break. it's difficult to disconnect, but our mental health depends on it. take in what you need to know for the day, and no more.

photonios• 6 years ago

Pretty decent. I've been working from home with my fiance for about three weeks now. Starting the fourth week now. We live in a 50 sqm (540 sqft) apartment together.

We're trying to stay in contact with friends and family as much as possible. We text and call more to just chill.

We're also very much aware of our priviliged position. We're both in software engineering and our jobs are secure for the forseeable future. We got a pile of cash in the bank and are properly insured. Working from home is not a problem at all.

One nasty side effect of working from home and not getting out much is that the days start to blend. I can barely keep track of what day of the week it is. All the days of the week look the same.

c0nducktr• 6 years ago

I'm miserable, sometimes.

I haven't been sleeping well, because of the stress. I'm kept awake at night by the idea I'm already infected by a virus which could kill me in the next couple weeks...

I live in a house with two others, both of which still have to go to work, and I'm in an "at risk" group because I have bad lungs.

The worry that one of them may have accidentally brought the virus into the house stresses me out, and until this is over - until I'm not a danger - I can't visit with my family, who are all older than myself, and even more vulnerable.

All my friends have chosen to quarantine as well. The right action, but it still hurts. It's only been 12 days, and I already feel so alone. To think about this being the next 12-18 months is just incomprehensible.

I don't know how I'll handle it. I keep alternating between depression, anger, and feeling nothing at all.

I had really believed this was going to be the year I'd make things turn around for me. I'd been making a lot of steps in the right direction - self-improvement and all that...

I wasn't prepared for it to get worse. At least not on this scale.

HelgaM• 6 years ago

i am depressed lately and there is nothing i can do about it

thinkingemote• 6 years ago

Stressed. Can't stop thinking about everything. My chest feels right and it's making my arm ache because of the worry. not sleeping good.

I need to laugh or mediate. I don't want to talk to the neighbours or friends for fear I'll burst out crying.

hablameiato• 6 years ago

To be honest, not so great.

I live alone, in a tiny apartment. Usually that's not a huge issue since I live not too far from a beautiful beach and mountains.

But being stuck inside (i live in France) I'm starting to relapse into depression. I have a lot of anxiety about being alone, about the possibility that I will be potentially let-go. About suicidal thoughts etc..

I was doing better, but last week set me back by a lot. I'm scared I will not survive this situation if it lasts for months.

happy_path• 6 years ago

Hang in there brother. I live in Spain and we are all scared. In my job there are people suffering from anxiety and stress because of this situation.

Try to establish a routine. Exercise and opening the blinds is helping me to cope with isolation.

Also, limit your news consumption. Newspapers and other mass-media lives on the fears of consumers.

adreamingsoul• 6 years ago

Do you have anyone to speak with about this?

punchclockhero• 6 years ago

I miss my walks in the sun. Also had a short nasty cold like 3 weeks ago which came back yesterday. Might be the coronavirus, might be something else. Gonna stay home unless it gets ambulance call worthy.

tomjen3• 6 years ago

To be perfectly honest I am not coping very well. All of this constant bad news getting worse and worse is terrible, and normally I can mostly ignore news, but I can't right now, since they do impact my life directly, and often with very short warning.

I am Danish, and while our authoritise are less terrible than those in the US, that is not a high bar. We can't get the test kits needed, but our minister of health turned a huge offer down. We didn't close the borders until long after we had community spread, etc.

If there was something active I could do (ie not feel-good stuff like running GPU time for research) and somebody could explain to me exactly how we can get out of this in a couple of months, that would be helpful.

At this point I just don't see anything changing, except getting worse, for the next several months and, frankly, I don't see how the society can survive that.

blankton• 6 years ago

Useless apparently. Im far better of learning in the university together with some friends. At home I cant get me to do anything. Its frustrating. The possibilities are outstanding, that even adds to the frustration. From a Mental Helth point of view im fine. My family is wounderful, everything is great, besides me being unproductive :)

protonimitate• 6 years ago

Varies wildly day to day. Personally I'm not too worried about job loss atm, but am fearful for my SO getting laid off and the potential stress/financial burden it could put on us.

Also doesn't help that I've been planning on pulling the trigger on an engagement ring but now can't risk it. Have just barely enough savings that if one of us did lose our jobs we'd be ok until we find something else, but not much more than that.

kingpiss• 6 years ago

Pretty well. I am enjoying working from home and while I am very bored stuck at home, it is weirdly relaxing.

I am sure I will eventually get infected but I am not too worried. I am young and somewhat healthy, and I am never in contact with anyone old or particularly at risk.

The thing I am most afraid of is the impending economic depression.

beatgammit• 6 years ago

I've been sick the last couple days, perhaps with Covid19, and my new baby girl has a doctor's appointment this week, so I'm not sure what to do about that. I really enjoy being at home with my kids though.

switch007• 6 years ago

I'm petrified of what's going to happen to our freedom and the economic impact. My working life started in 2009, and it has been a tough decade. I'm not looking forward to the next 10 years.

throw_away_45• 6 years ago

Reasonably okay. I get out 2-3 times a day with mask/glove for a few minutes to let my dog out, and catch some fresh air (all while practicing social distancing).

I try to follow a routine daily - get 10 minutes of meditation in, at least 25-30 minutes of workout in my tiny room. Learning to play guitar as well, now that I have some more time back.

Focusing on my work though...That's a whole different story - that's gone to shit.

tmaly• 6 years ago

Personally, I would like to see less if it bleeds it leads news. Some positive stories would be more helpful.

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