Tell HN: I can't even get a job offering to work for free

This is a short, funny but tragic story about my quest for a job. (Apologies for the length and writing style, its half story / half venting).

Background: I’m 23, graduated last year with a business degree. I have a bunch of startup experience, having projects mentioned on Techcrunch, TIME, CNet, CBSNews, and more. After a summer of working on a startup with my friend and technical partner, he decided to get a job with one of the big mobile handset developers. That left me with a choice; do something on my own (with limited technical ability) or get a job and learn something.

In September, I decided to give it shot and sent email out to the CEO of a local startup. I figured I wanted to be a part of the growing social product space, so a social analytics company made sense. I kidd you not, the subject of my email was “I want to work for you for free!”. It worked, and I got the attention I wanted. I recall the skype conversation we had later that week. We went over my life story, and he complimented, even gushed over me. “Wow, you guys are rockstars”, “I wish you would have told me sooner, I would have invested in you guys”, “You guys remind me of myself in the 90’s”, “This is exactly how I tell people to find jobs they want”. We traded business stories, discussed the local startup scene. It was nice to hear, and it felt honest and sincere. If he liked me that much, then surely he would have something for me. I introduce him to my partner through email.

Soon after, I’m meeting the CEO and his #1 for the area (they have another office in California). My friend is also driving into the city later for dinner with the pair after work. We chat, he demos the product, tells me all about the operations and such. I refresh him about my crazy past projects. They ask me what I want to do as a role, I tell them I’m open and flexible. Money doesn’t matter to me, I just want the opportunity to learn and experience. “Okay then, we’ll you put you in touch with our marketing guy and see if he has anything for you”. I left feeling pretty happy and confident, having built a positive rapport and established a relationship with someone who “gets it”.

After another skype chat with the head of marketing, I’m even left with a weekend assignment; figure out what position I’d like to fill for the company, and give suggestions on what I’d do for the homepage and product. I indeed brainstorm my role (product development!) and even Photoshop a mockup of a new homepage design, just because I felt like it. But here’s where I failed to recognize the breakdown in communication; the responsibility of handling / recruiting ME, had passed on to a person I’d never met in a different coast. The buck had been passed, as it were. I’d been wiped clear of the conscience of the people I’d attracted from the beginning. Weeks would go by, I would get an occasional email saying “things are crazy, we’re setting Q1 goals.” Oh, the life of a startup I’d assume. Its ok, they’ll get to me eventually. All the while, they corresponded with my friend in the same manner. They were wooing him, and after working only 3 months at a multinational mobile phone developer, he would quit to accept their job offer. That happened this week, leaving me wondering if I should shoot them an email to get things rolling again. I did, and several hours ago, they replied.

“Oh, you didn’t get the email we sent last month? Please see the following:…” It was a rejection letter. A nicely worded, complimentary letter in which apparently I have “rare, entrepreneurial qualities that will make you successful” and that I should “keep trucking”.

Fuck me. 10 weeks of sitting and waiting, expecting something to happen, and I’d only looked to do 1 other interview because I was so sure I wanted to work for this company. Naturally, I have a very emotional response to the rejection; “don’t tell me I’m awesome, but that you don’t have anything for me”…”make sure your interviewees get the godamn rejection letter, so they don’t feel like a dumbass when they email members of your company, asking what’s up”. And don’t forget the ugly, awkward feeling of having your friend get a job at the company you introduced him to and initiated contact with (feelings of “was I used? Did they ever give a shit about me?”).

Lesson learned I suppose. Nobody gives a shit about you, except YOU. What other lessons should I be taking from this? Don't introduce your friends to companies you want to work for until you have a job there first? LOL. Sigh, I don't even know what to think. In what world can you be complimented that heavily, and not even offered an internship. I can't even get a job offering to work for free.