Ask YC: do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=148773

by btw0 • 18 years ago

13 88 18 years ago

news.ycombinator.com

I just want to know that ^_^

brk• 18 years ago

No. I'm married.

startupcrazy2• 18 years ago

Man, that is sad.

startupcrazy2• 18 years ago

Why all the down votes, I was simply implying that if your wife isn't also your girl friend it is a sad place to be.

noodle2• 18 years ago

yes.

even those holed up in a closet working full-steam on a startup need to socialize, whether with friends or a SO. otherwise, you'll go crazy and burn out.

himanshu2• 18 years ago

Nope. Life as a computer science major in college and an overall geek leaves very little time.

Tichy• 18 years ago

If you don't even have time as a student, how will it be once you join the workforce?

himanshu2• 18 years ago

I will worry about it once I am done with school ;) I see nothing wrong with having a girlfriend but I don't feel alarmed not to have one at the moment.

mrtron2• 18 years ago

I mean no disrespect, but as a computer science major at a well recognized school and an overall geek I had several concurrent gf's during university and went out about 4 nights a week on average.

Looking back, I was a fool, but I am glad I lived that way for a few years. It taught me many lessons.

edit: Re-reading I laugh at how I always throw in that 'good school' part. Perhaps it is because years later I still have stress-dreams about exams there, and the courses were like getting kicked in the balls daily.

xlnt17• 18 years ago

No, romance is dumb.

xlnt17• 18 years ago

We know that romantic relationships frequently hurt people. This leaves some pro-romance positions available such as:

- it only hurts foolish people; there are known solutions to all those problems

- it's worth the risk of being hurt

- there is a type of relationship that is different than conventional romance in a way that prevents being hurt, but is still romantic

So, anyone want to debate, or just stick to downvoting? None of the pro-romance positions are obviously correct.

PieSquared• 18 years ago

Debate? I wouldn't mind.

I'd say (although maybe I'm unqualified to do so... :) ) that although it may hurt, it can also just lead to a happier lifestyle. And happier people, it seems to me, would be more productive, both in the short and long run. So while relationships may hurt people, the hurt would be short term, while the overall happiness and productivity gains might be long-term.

----- Oh, and by the way. It took me login to post, because I didn't realize that the ID's were case-sensitive. I'm not sure that they should be, eh?

rms5• 18 years ago

>it's worth the risk of being hurt

yters4• 18 years ago

It's a relevant and significant question. The west's views on romance are not the norm. For example, the Greeks considered the best relationships to be between men, since men were thought to be the most rational. This is similar in Islamic cultures too.

While I don't have a specific cite I can show you to back up the claims about the Greeks, it is pretty evident if you've read Plato and Aristotle. As for Muslims, this is pretty clear if you just look at how they treat women.

Frankly, I'm disappointed that there is so much knee jerk voting going on here. On the other hand, it is interesting that xLnt has really hit a nerve.

euccastro6• 18 years ago

Here's another one for your consideration:

- Even love-induced pain often helps you grow personally in some way.

kajecounterhack2• 18 years ago

Everyone is entitled their opinions, I dont see why this had to be downmodded necessarily because it is a valid statement. Besides the fact that antisocial people tend to say things like that. And nobody likes antisocial people. And they dont like anyone either, by definition.

I guess it was downmodded cause he didn't back up his valid statement.

Of course, I disagree with his statement. No gf here but I've got a date to prom ;)

davidw• 18 years ago

(It's pretty silly, which should make it be a -1, but not a -20 or whatever)

xlnt17• 18 years ago

So far after posting support for my statement I've lost 13 more points. I don't care, but this is useful as evidence: I think your theory that I was being downvoted due to lack of support for my statement is incorrect.

Emmjaykay• 18 years ago

I agree and disagree. I don't think that romance is dumb. In fact, courtship and companionship seems like it would be wonderful, sublime.

However, reading your other comments about risk and so forth, I can feel myself resigning to agreement. It does seem like it would be a heavy risk and certain to fail. I can't explain why I'm so risk-averse where as other things in my life seem just as unsure.

gaika• 18 years ago

from http://mauitian.livejournal.com/11166.html

The last thing you need to know about girls has to do with love. Even just thinking about girls is likely to cause you more emotional anguish than anything else in your life. And it's not like getting mauled by a bear -- that kind of pain goes away after a month or so. No, love, when it goes bad, is worse than pretty much anything. So, why mess with it? Why not just avoid girls altogether? Well, I must admit I've asked myself this many times. And the answer is: can't help it. The emotions and drive are too strong to deny. So, just do the best you can. It is, actually, pretty damn good to have a girlfriend when things are going well. And try to make the best decisions you can, even though your brain isn't really running the show.

xlnt17• 18 years ago

A lot of people think they can't help it, so don't seriously try to.

jpeterson2• 18 years ago

Had a girlfriend when I started my company. I haven't had any time for socializing since she left. Anyone else in this boat?

noodle2• 18 years ago

you don't consider posting on YC to be a form of socializing?

jpeterson2• 18 years ago

I was using "socializing" in place of "dating".

powerflex• 18 years ago

Yes and its very distracting. Girlfriends are money/time/attention pits (but I mean that in a good way).

bkrausz• 18 years ago

I have a girlfriend, but the condition I made when starting the relationship is that she has to be ok with me being too busy certain weeks to see her. I promise to see her once a week at the least, and she's ok with that. She's not thrilled about it but feels that some of me is better than none, so she accepts it.

aneesh• 18 years ago

poll?

ken• 18 years ago

Don't ask us. You're the one with enough karma for it.

vikas5678• 18 years ago

dating, worse than having a gf i think, the mindgames are still in effect! grrrr

TheTarquin• 18 years ago

I do. It helps that we're both extremely busy, so our "dates" often wind up being the nights when we both have portable work and can hang out together while we grind away.

joshwa• 18 years ago

Ask YC: a/s/l?

Seriously... this is getting stupid.

mrtron2• 18 years ago

It is a reasonable question due to stereotypes, geek lifestyles, etc.

dkberktas• 18 years ago

come on.. try to have fun! relax

thingsilearned• 18 years ago

Broke up with mine when I moved out to the valley. It wasn't too serious and the distraction sux. For valentine's day I wrote my computer a poem in python.

cooldude127• 18 years ago

that makes me feel a little sad

subwindow• 18 years ago

I wrote mine in Ruby.

Surprisingly enough, she loved it.

yan• 18 years ago

Yes, and it actually improves my productivity. She edges me on to work when I feel like slacking off, and I can have intelligent conversations about whichever ideas I have as long as I can break them down to a non-techie.

ivankirigin2• 18 years ago

Married to my cofounder

andreyf• 18 years ago

I realize every relationship/business is different, but how is that working out - both in the relationship and in the business (if you don't mind sharing)?

ivankirigin2• 18 years ago

Generally, investors are wary of married couples, in that they've been burned before. So we need to be very cognizant of the way we act around each other to ensure they get the most positive impression. If you read accounts of the flickr cofounders, you'll also get anecdotal evidence (that I've never experienced) that some investors are assholes and don't take women seriously.

We have complementing skillsets, which is perfect on the work side of it.

On the relationship side of it, I have no idea how people do startups that have significant others _not_ involved. Not only do we spend the vast majority of our time on the project, but we talk about it when we aren't working on it. How could an uninvolved party tolerate that?

axod• 18 years ago

Married, and seem to have some curious small people running around breaking things. They scare me.

edw519• 18 years ago

Don't let them scare you. Let them inspire you.

(Funny, we spend all this time and energy trying to get into "startup mode" while forgetting that's the mode we were already in long ago before we let others change us.)

cmm324• 18 years ago

Married and the third child on the way!!!! They can be scary... yet so beautiful and amazing.

xugglybug• 18 years ago

A boyfriend? Why settle with one? I have two.

watmough• 18 years ago

All my exes live in Texas.

Seriously, I'm married, though with the amount of work I do, sometimes my wife fails to recognize me. ;-)

mk• 18 years ago

I just got married on sunday.

jimbokun• 18 years ago

Congratulations!

truebosko• 18 years ago

I'm in a long term relationship with my lovely girlfriend. We're currently living together, can't complain

So to answer your question: Yes

pibefision• 18 years ago

married! (and pregnant!)

brlewis• 18 years ago

I actually have a date with my wife tomorrow night! Just secured a babysitter. Our last date was on Valentine's day.

laktek• 18 years ago

Yeah.It doesn't matter as far as you know how to balance your personal life and work.

mattmaroon• 18 years ago

47 comments, 8 points. Might be a new record for that ratio.

alice• 18 years ago

This is liking asking in a prison how many people have nice cars.

rglovejoy• 18 years ago

No, of course not. Who has the time?

philippp• 18 years ago

It's depressing to read things like "Nope. Life as a computer science major in college and an overall geek leaves very little time."

I'm sure you play videogames, read/post on non-industry forums or do SOMETHING not work related. Socializing with women will help you find "the right one" in the long run, and will keep you from being taken advantage of once you "make it."

Personally, I broke up with my girlfriend of three years before moving to SF, independent of deciding to start YC. Overall, not having to "keep up" has definitely helped me.

I've been single throughout the nosebleed "grind-and-build-and-demo" three month YC cycle, but I regularly went out in SF and even had some flings that were fun but shallow distractions.

I've recently started dating an amazing woman who's completing her studies while working in Los Angeles; she's at least as busy as I am and we're "dating" in whatever capacity is possible. Although we're both ridiculously busy we respect our space/priorities, and it's fun and affirmative.

To each his/her own I suppose.

icky• 18 years ago

No, I'm married, and my wife won't let me have one. ;-)

edu2• 18 years ago

Girlfriend, we have been dating for 3 years and 8 months

We both are pretty hardworkers, and planning to start something toghether (she's been pulling me to apply to this YC's round). I think we are a good time, I understand computers and she understands people (BSc in Psychology).

I don't think having a gf need so much time, I always feel that I spend more time procrastinating that staying with her, and with the later I feel better! :)

kul• 18 years ago

No :(

Ask YC: do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?

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