throwaway_ruok

Chinese national here.

Is there a fraction of people who agrees with it or is almost it universally disapproved of?

There is a fraction of people who agrees with it. Otherwise it wouldn't be there.

But most people dislike, or at least are annoyed by, the censorship.

There are several different kind of dislike. There are people who are opposed to censorship in principle. There are people who find certain rules or mechanisms too ridiculous. There are people who only complain when it inconvenience them.

There are several types of supports. There are a small fraction of people who think that whatever the government does is for the greater good of the country. There are people who are happy when the fist hammers down on contents that they don't like, e.g. porn, anti-patriotic speech.

I'd say, anecdotally, most people find the current state of censorship somewhat unreasonable, but at the same time, have accepted it as a trait of the Chinese society that isn't going away in the forseeable future.

Not okay.

It's a worrying time being a Chinese person. On the one hand, I don't support CCP (hence the throw away); I find the dictatorship very troubling. Furthermore, the growing patriotism and nationalism makes me anxious about the next generation of Chinese.

On the other hand, many people outside tend to treat Chinese people and CCP as a whole, and denounce and dismiss everything we do. More and more people suggest severe measures against Chinese products, even when no evidence of foul play is found. Simply the potential of being malicious is enough to warrant doubts, scrutiny, and dismissal. If this trend continues, I don't know how to live in the west anymore. I can't imagine one day submitting a code change, and my code has to be reviewed by a specialized security expert, because my family lives in China.

Personally, I find no place to stand. The future looks to me like I'm going to be on an island of ideology, where the other Chinese despise me for not being loyal, and the westerners suspect me of being secretly loyal to CCP.

In the big picture, it feels like another cold war is coming, and, that has a crushing weight on me. All I ever wanted is a simple life, stable income, no need for luxury stuff; but if the cold war were to actually start, I don't see how I can build that life.

Hell, even an actual war might be looming, during which I and my family have a significant chance to die, given the existence of nuclear weapon, the effectiveness of the modern army, and the stubbornness of governments. And I just really don't want to die like that; it's so meaningless to die in a war.

I guess I just wrote this post to vent a little. It's something that I have absolutely no control (or even impact) over, but it looms over my shoulder every minute of every day. Every endeavor and achievement of mine pales in face of a global conflict, so I'm exceedingly demotivated to do anything these days. It feels like nothing matters, and everything is going to crumble anyway.

Apologies for bringing so much negativity. I hope everyone else is having a good day.