Thanks for your comments.
I have done lots of research in the field and found the 3 top 'no no's' and why the disconnect can still exist:
EdTech developers (not all) make the mistake of talking and forgetting to listen once they finally get in touch with a teacher.
Teachers are tired of being told "we have the BEST tool for ...." Let them make that judgement.
Giving teachers your sales pitch instead of a 2 way collaboration process.
I hope that with TinkerEd we will continue to narrow the gap. As you say it is a 2 way process and it is exciting to see some great advances from all parties.