lightredelephnt

Before I get into it, I want to recognize how privileged this whole story is, and that myself 15y ago would laugh at how much this reeks of 1st world problems.

I think it’s stupid that in the current environment you must apologize for your perceived location in some sort of privilege hierarchy in order to lament a (perhaps) universal experience for humans: where am I going? Why? What does it mean?

Not your fault (and not an answer, other than to say “yes, I too have wondered where I am going, what I should work on, what I should do with my life”), just the way of things I suppose.

You are right that assuming you completely understand another person’s mind can cause (serious) problems in your relationship with them. But people also “tell you how they feel” with more than just words. So it’s not as simple as “ignore everything but the spoken or written word”.

At my last company we made software to help people hosting tourism-related activities take reservations. We always told them:

1. Taking payment up front is generally good. You get fewer cancellations, and earn more money.

2. Keeping those payments when people cancel is bad, you get unhappy customers and you lose CC disputes.

The last point is important. Not only do you get charged by the payments processor even when you win the dispute, you actually lose disputes frequently even when you do everything right. It’s just not worth it, and anyway the simple act of prepaying will do the most to limit no shows and cancellations.