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ladytron

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You are lucky.

I wish I could have just enjoyed college without worrying about food, gas, and keeping a roof over my head.

Working to pay for all that as a science major was no easy task. I cut corners and sometimes took too many credits to graduate in a timely manner.

It wasn't Animal House or Legally Blonde.

He didn't run away when he saw I was reading a nerdy book. Instead, he approached me. Is that your book? He liked my brain.

I knew it was time to get married about a week after we met. Everyone else paled in comparison. It took another 6 months to make it official - but I was really married in my own mind after that first week together.

Hi,

I'm also a big HN fan and I've been lurking around here for the last 10 years. Start your own firm, go get VC, someone will fund you. If you are at a well known company now someone will fund you.

Otherwise, expect more of the same for the next 20 years. I doubt anything will change. At least if you run your own firm you can work very cleverly, and over time build up $$ from equity in your own projects. Trust me, you will learn much more and faster at your own startup.

They are not required. Many more here who are successful do not have all or any of those things. They just don't talk much.

Founder, big data startup 4 kids in 4.5 years Lots of patents and nerdy stuff.

I have no hobbies. I don't go to networking/startup events. I don't watch TV,Netflix, etc and I don't have cable. Rarely go on vacation, unless a family obligation to visit grandma.

Tactics: Office with 24/7 access outside house (worth the rent) Coffee shop open at 6 am/closes at 1 am with wi-fi.

Basically I work every morning at coffee shop before kids get up. Partner works late after kids go to bed at 8 pm. We work at the office lab every weekend, taking turns, with a sitter, or we just bring kids to office with coloring books, games etc.

Doing this you can work about 35 - 50 hours a week, but obviously it's not for everyone!

I'm surprised they kept her around so long. I am wondering why they just didn't bring her in, transfer her to a new team, and tell her she was no longer "a good cultural fit" with the team. In a at will:right to work state that is a totally legal way to fire a high performing employee (I think).

It's almost like they enjoyed watching her complain. Glad she got out.

The same could be said about the corporate raiders that run many tech companies. They leave ethics at the door "I'm just doing my job to support my family".

I think people who start their own companies sometimes do so because they can have more control over product quality and quality of life for their team.

Founders don't start companies to live a "pretty good life in the top 10%".

We do it because we are ambitious, want to solve huge technical and business problems, make our mark, and change the world.

We usually have more energy and sleep less than others. We love work. We love our business. Most of us would not want to be corporate "drones". It would be like a living death.

Work as an independent contractor. You are not an employee and even if you create IP for your client, they do not own your off time. For example, if you had two clients, they would not own the others ip.

If they send you a blanket ip agreement as a contractor, modify it to only agree to the created ip during working hours.

Rules are: Not on company equipment Not on company time Work on projects not related to your day job

Being employee status is trickier than a independent consultant though.

Yes, I believe this is what happened to my friend with the rare disease of late pregnancy.

Even though she had a diagnosis, she was on a regular maternity ward.

None of the nurses / Drs. Seemed to really want to learn about her condition or make sure she was being treated correctly for her disease. She "didn't fit". Her death or the baby's death would have been "the cost of doing business".

Her doctor said 2 or 3 babies died of Choleostasis every YEAR, yet the nurses and doctors on the maternity ward were quite clueless.

Btw I'm no Dr. But I can read Google.

Richard Feynman wrote about how when his wife got sick he figured out that she had TB, but because he was very young and a physicist her family and their doctors ignored him and his diagnosis. He acquiesed and did not push, which he later regretted.

He said that only after they had tried many other approaches and wasted time did the Drs come to the same conclusion, but by then it was too late for her.

At that point her realized he was much smarter than regular MDs and never took their word as gospel from that point on.

That story stuck in my head as my friends and family have had medical challenges.

I recently diagnosed a rare disease of late pregnancy, Choleostasis, in one of my friends at 34 weeks. She had been complaining of itching. Google and reading a bunch of research papers made me 95% sure of the diagnosis. I sent her to the hospital to confirm and get the necessary tests. The doctors there were completely unhelpful. Two of them tried to send her home. I balked, fought the Drs., and asked to see an endocrinology specialist. He walked in and agreed with me after about 5 minutes.

At this point she was admitted and being monitored 24/7. Her OB was in Hawaii and getting back in a few days. I told her straight out to ignore the Drs. And nurses at the hospital. She was only allowed to speak to me or the specialist, and disregard anything the regular staff said.

It amazed me that the staff had a diagnosis confirmed with a test yet they still gave her the wrong information because she did not fit the regular pregnant woman profile they were used to pushing through their assembly line.

Her Dr. got back and delivered the baby the next day as the monitor showed it going into distress. He said the hospital lost 2/3 babies every year from Choleostasis, yet Drs. seldom acted on symptoms and treated it correctly.

Scary.

Go somewhere that has very little technology - maybe where there are a lot of older people or poor people. Analyse the market and see if you can automate something or streamline a process with technology. Look for problems in a low tech area you can solve with a bit of tech.

I recently tried the Abaris life expectancy app and was pleasantly surprised when they estimated I will live to be 96 years old. Even if they are off by 10 years, it's still pretty good. Assuming the last 5 years are a wash due to dementia, I still have many years left to get to all my books.

I would try the app if I were you. I always thought it was more like the late 70s. Maybe we will all have more time than we think! Makes burning a few years on a startup now also seem like an ok idea. Life is long, for many of us - according to the actuaries.

I'm curious about your experience selling patents. Are you an attorney or the founder of a startup?

It is very rare to hear of anyone who successfully sold an IP portfolio, and I'm guessing you were either the inventor, or the overall price was quite high for you to get such a large amount for selling them.

Do you assist people to sell their IP today?

I understand. You carry your experiences on your back, in your mind.

I wonder if you COULD document that in a physical way though, maybe build a website using a free host like Wix.com loaded with photos from around the world, organized chronologically by country.

That would be amazing. Maybe even organize a speech about "What I have learned by traveling the world" (with cool photos)

Even if you didn't take photos, you could find photos of the places you lived at on Google.

I think many people would be interested by a talk like that.

I appreciate your experience, and I think employers would also.

You have proven you can relate and survive in many different cultures and you are adaptable. I would imagine that would be valuable in an international position in a big company like Pagonia, or a safari travel company, or even a local company with a diverse workforce.

Not yet. Every time I see someone at my local coffee shop with a real dead tree book I ask them about it. I just found a book today at the thrift store called "Women of the West" which is full of photographs and diary entries from women pioneers. I think I will start with that.

Also my dream. I already have a collection of about 5000 or so books taking over my house. There are bookshelves on every wall. If I ever cash out of the startup game I'm setting up a private membership library / bookstore. I already have the building picked out and my own collection will be the foundation.

Go find your favorite busy coffee shop ( I know Seattle has good ones). Bring a real book and a magazine you like (not a kindle or an ipad). Sit in an open place or community table, and half read your book, making sure that people can see the cover/title. If you see a young woman who is doing the same thing, strike up a conversation.

Ask her about what she is reading. Talk about the article you are reading. Try to look for a common bond.

That is how my husband met me 17 years ago. Worked for us!

Good Luck. PS bag tinder, go find real people in real places that you like.

My firm was referred to a firm that needed us through the leader of the local Python user group.

The client needed us to review code and act as a witness in a court case on very short notice.

It was interesting work, but a bit frightening once we did some research into the black hat hacker who had been warring with the client.

I would say to make sure you are hiring a WHITE hat hacker, and pay accordingly. Do your research, check recommendations by past clients and the community, and do a background check at minimum.

This post is written for that .1% then, and probably not for you.

Founders are very different people, with very different energy levels and risk profiles than the general population, or even the population of startup employees.

Some of us CAN have it all, and there are not always trade offs for us compared to the "norm".

For example, some can excel in multiple college varsity sports while holding a 4.0 in EE, when most college students play club ball and feel overwhelmed getting their homework done.

I would like you to entertain the thought that others may have 10x more capacity than yourself.

My goodness, let Hacker News be at least one place where unique women feel free to be honest about their drive, ambition, and productivity.

Who are you to judge her priorities? Watching an infant can be brain numbingly tedious, and so can sitting in waiting rooms for hours at a medical office.

Maybe the startup gives her husband a positive distraction to focus on instead of his treatment and it gives them something good to talk about. You have no idea.

A startup might be the perfect antidote to balance out her other duties to her family.

Remember that all people are not equal, some people are in the top 1% of population for energy, or IQ, or organization, or even with a need for sleep. Aka do not attempt to measure this woman against the "norm", she is probably very very capable and can handle everything better than most.

All of us have a unique blend of skills and abilities, and it takes less effort for some of us to fulfill priorities than others.